Yahoo! Answers

After asking my manager to attend a conference I felt would be extremely valuable for our team, he finally said yes, and I should have been thrilled, but then reality hit! This will actually be the first time I will be away from my 2 year old for 5 consecutive days!

As the thought of separation from my toddler begins to cast dark clouds over my otherwise sunny and beautiful daydreams, I remember, technology is here to help us stay connected.

I was told by her Daycare teacher that I have to prepare her well by talking about the conference ahead of time– but as soon as I mention “Mummy having to take an airplane” she starts to cry.

Whenever I have questions regarding new parenting situations, I check out what the experts have to say.

• Ms. Smith, founder of MomTini Lounge, believes children thrive on routine and structure. To minimize the disruption at home caused by travel, she suggests canceling any unnecessary commitments like play dates to streamline the family schedule.
• Phaedra Cucina, author of the picture book “My Mommy’s on a Business Trip” advises mothers to use Skype video to show their younger children their hotel room when they are away on a trip. She notes, “it’s comforting for a young child to see mommy in her hotel room waving and making silly faces.” I will be sure to try this method, but I have a feeling it might cause my daughter to cry more and want to be right there with me.
• My Tips?
• Make sure you have all of your child’s medical records in one easily locatable place so the caretaker watching your child while you are away can easily find important info. If organization is not one of your top strengths, you might want to invest in a mobile app like ‘mother knows’ where you can have all of your child’s records at the tips of your fingers via an iPhone app.

Have you ever left your Toddler at home for a Business Trip and have some successful tips to share? We would love to hear them.

Thanks for reading,

Layla – Guest Blogger

Recalls Plus is a Knowledge Partner on Yahoo! Answers.

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Not a day goes by, on leaving my daughter in daycare, that her little brown eyes don’t well up with tears, looking up at me so sadly, reluctantly removing the buttons of her coat and stomping her feet in protest. I press my lips so hard they bleed sometimes, and force a smile on my face, telling her I’ll be back soon to pick her up and take her to the park (when in reality, in most cases I barely make it home in time for bedtime).

It’s a common dilemma for many mothers – going back to work after the baby. In many cases it’s not a choice, but a financial necessity, yet we are filled with overwhelming guilt. Can I be a good mom and rock at my career?

The guilt, of course, is almost exclusively a female problem.  I have yet to meet a Dad who expresses guilt for having to work and provide for his family. So I work, very hard.  As well as running a few volunteer networking  groups, giving back to the community, regular visits to Granny and all the other things that ‘Momdom’ entails. It’s like keeping the plates spinning – needing organization, patience and coordination.

Like every other Mom, I end up working twice as hard in the workplace, because I face a different type of guilt there -  am I putting in as much time as my non-mom colleagues?   Will skipping Social Happy Hour reflect negatively on me?  I’d rather be home drinking juice with my daughter… but will they think I am not a team player?

Luckily, I work for a company marketing a product that is truly servicing Moms: Recalls Plus is a fantastic new app to help busy Moms by alerting them to any recalls of their kids’ stuff, including vital allergy alerts. It’s a product I really believe in.  But, ironically, a new type of guilt is emerging now.  Why? Because I actually love what I do.

I asked my husband if I was a bad Mom for wanting to steal a precious hour on a Saturday morning to write this blog, instead of making Belgian Waffles from scratch like I usually do?  My husband looked at me stupefied, “What is wrong with Eggo”?

Of course, a good Mom would probably take this opportunity to educate him on all the facts associated with why one must avoid processed food, but instead, I grab our video camera and our daughter, and head out to combine motherhood, playdate and work in this fun new video.

Any thoughts on dealing with “motherhood guilt” would also be greatly appreciated.

Thanks for reading,

Layla – Guest Blogger

Recalls Plus is a Knowledge Partner on Yahoo! Answers.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!

You and your baby dozing off together:  The image is adorable, but co-sleeping, or sharing your bed with an infant, is often frowned upon in Western cultures.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warn parents not to put their infants to sleep in adult beds, arguing that the practice puts babies at risk of strangulation and suffocation. According to the CPSC, at least 515 infant deaths between January 1990 and December 1997 were linked to children sleeping in adult beds.

Despite the risks, many new studies showcase the advantages to co-sleeping, and the practice seems to be a rising trend. In his book on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, pediatrician William Sears cites co-sleeping as a proactive measure that parents can take to reduce the risk of death in infants. Sears stresses that co-sleeping babies learn to imitate healthy breathing patterns and spend less time in a state of deep sleep, in which the risk of apneas increases. In Japan co-sleeping is the cultural norm, and rates of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome are among the lowest in the world. Harvard psychiatrist Michael Commons and Notre Dame anthropologist James McKenna state that babies who sleep alone are more susceptible to stress disorders.

Three years ago, users on Yahoo! Answers France initiated a question about where babies should spend the night (hyperlink http://fr.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080316081500AA0tiRr), and the question remains popular on Yahoo! Answers globally. Especially heartwarming, I thought, is the latest discussion in Australia, dating back three months. I also found great advice from our Malaysian Answers community.

As with most controversial topics, there are convincing studies to support either side of the debate.  The important thing is to find the right decision for you and not to be intimated by advice of those who hold opposing viewpoints.  Remember, co-sleeping is not for everyone, and all experts agree that anyone sharing a bed with an infant should apply the following safety tips:

•   Never smoke in the room where your infant sleeps.
•   Do not take any drugs or alcohol that can affect your sleep.
•   Do not share an adult bed with more than one child at a time.
•   Never leave your infant alone in an adult bed.

If you are a parent who has shared the bed with your infant and you want to transition him or her to the crib, there is a great discussion on Answers India that can guide you on this process.

Lastly, I thought it would be fun to take a poll and see what those of you reading the blog have decided.

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A year ago, during the third day of my unimaginably long labor, I truly wondered whether I would survive to see this day: my daughter’s first birthday.

As the nurse finally wrapped that tiny, helpless newborn in a blanket and handed her off to us, we watched her leave with a sigh, worrying how we were going to help this little creature transition into a moving and exploring person. As if the nurse had read my mind, she turned around to say, “Don’t worry, motherhood is natural. You will figure it out. Human beings have been doing this since the cave ages.”

Yes, true, but didn’t cave people have family around to help? And could we really assume that human beings have been parenting correctly for millions of years? Wouldn’t bad parenting explain a lot of evil behavior in the world? What if we fail in disciplining our child, what if we are not good role models, and, worst of all, what if we cannot get this whole breastfeeding thing right or we manage to overfeed her via the bottle? What if we drop her during her bath? What if…

My OB/GYN stopped by to stress the importance of having my mother around to help when I arrived home. When I told her this was not possible, she replied, “Then find a support system somewhere,” and wrote down the names of support groups. I saw a bunch of parenting groups, many hosted on Yahoo! Groups and it hit me, my husband and I had access to a resource our parents did not have access to: online communities.

For more than a decade we have benefited from a number of online tools, beginning in 1978 with bulletin board systems (BBSs), with their dial-up modems and flashing lights, evolving into Usenet newsgroups and all of the alt.* discussion forums, then into Majordomo mailing lists, and finally into user-friendly online communities such as Yahoo! Answers and Yahoo! Groups, full of fun and rich features.

Whenever I post a question, the Answers community is up front and honest (sometimes a little bit too honest). But it is nice to be reminded that we are not the only ones battling different challenges in parenthood. I would like to take a moment to thank all those parents out there who have contributed to the Parenting category on Answers.

So join the conversation,  “What was the most useful piece of Parenting advice you ever received, and would you give that same advice to future parents?

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My daughter has one of those sweet innocent smiles that can fool anyone. As we stroll through the park she waves a friendly nod to every person who gives her the time of the day, and as I put her down on the playground she excitedly runs toward the other children (particularly those older than her) and invites them to play.

The other parents approach us with a friendly smile and begin to explain to their kids how fragile and young my daughter is and how they should be careful when playing with her as she is still a baby (11 months old). But, before they can finish their sentences, my daughter has begun some of her usual mischief, which includes pulling the hair of the older baby, exploring their face, trying to touch their toy, or helping herself to whatever snack they are eating.

You can imagine my embarrassment as I pull her hand down, apologize to the older baby and her/his parent, and in a calm voice try to explain to my daughter that this behavior is not acceptable, while she cries with rage and points at the other child and her toy/snack.

Luckily, so far the other parents and children have treated us graciously and have forgiven my daughter’s tantrums, probably because they have dealt with it themselves when their children were that age. According to many experts, children under the age of 3 are too young to undergo formal discipline measures such as time-outs. However, an incident in the library the other day made me think again about the importance of good parenting and providing discipline both to your child and ourselves!

During a Mommy and me story time at our local library, I noticed a cute little 9-month-old baby girl who liked to offer her hand to everyone for kissing–a real princess. She made the rounds in our circle to a little 3-year-old boy, nicely dressed, charming and adorable. Then, the boy bit the hand of the 9-month-old instead of kissing it. The girl started to cry and the boy’s mother was silent and offered no apology, though she did look genuinely concerned about both kids.

The girl’s mother started to yell at the boy’s mom in front of everyone, telling her she should not be taking her uncivilized boy out in public and the other woman fired back at her while the rest of us sat in silence and shock. I felt bad for both mothers (perhaps a little bit more for the one who got yelled at) but wondered why she wasn’t offering an apology or teaching her son that this biting was not OK? Then on the other hand, the little girl’s mom should have perhaps been more careful about who her daughter is offering her hand to for kisses and watched her a bit more closely.

Judging from several conversations/threads on Yahoo! Answers:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiA_ZVxM1XalOvBZdrJ2Zu0jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20070308095247AASY1N5

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqehgvYRmgMCAl9k81FFGC0jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090925084702AA36y0N

I am not the only parent struggling with the question on how and when one should begin to discipline a child. Please join the conversation and let us know what you deem as the age appropriate for disciplining a baby.

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