Yahoo! Answers

You and your baby dozing off together:  The image is adorable, but co-sleeping, or sharing your bed with an infant, is often frowned upon in Western cultures.

The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC) and the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) warn parents not to put their infants to sleep in adult beds, arguing that the practice puts babies at risk of strangulation and suffocation. According to the CPSC, at least 515 infant deaths between January 1990 and December 1997 were linked to children sleeping in adult beds.

Despite the risks, many new studies showcase the advantages to co-sleeping, and the practice seems to be a rising trend. In his book on Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, pediatrician William Sears cites co-sleeping as a proactive measure that parents can take to reduce the risk of death in infants. Sears stresses that co-sleeping babies learn to imitate healthy breathing patterns and spend less time in a state of deep sleep, in which the risk of apneas increases. In Japan co-sleeping is the cultural norm, and rates of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome are among the lowest in the world. Harvard psychiatrist Michael Commons and Notre Dame anthropologist James McKenna state that babies who sleep alone are more susceptible to stress disorders.

Three years ago, users on Yahoo! Answers France initiated a question about where babies should spend the night (hyperlink http://fr.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080316081500AA0tiRr), and the question remains popular on Yahoo! Answers globally. Especially heartwarming, I thought, is the latest discussion in Australia, dating back three months. I also found great advice from our Malaysian Answers community.

As with most controversial topics, there are convincing studies to support either side of the debate.  The important thing is to find the right decision for you and not to be intimated by advice of those who hold opposing viewpoints.  Remember, co-sleeping is not for everyone, and all experts agree that anyone sharing a bed with an infant should apply the following safety tips:

•   Never smoke in the room where your infant sleeps.
•   Do not take any drugs or alcohol that can affect your sleep.
•   Do not share an adult bed with more than one child at a time.
•   Never leave your infant alone in an adult bed.

If you are a parent who has shared the bed with your infant and you want to transition him or her to the crib, there is a great discussion on Answers India that can guide you on this process.

Lastly, I thought it would be fun to take a poll and see what those of you reading the blog have decided.

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My daughter has one of those sweet innocent smiles that can fool anyone. As we stroll through the park she waves a friendly nod to every person who gives her the time of the day, and as I put her down on the playground she excitedly runs toward the other children (particularly those older than her) and invites them to play.

The other parents approach us with a friendly smile and begin to explain to their kids how fragile and young my daughter is and how they should be careful when playing with her as she is still a baby (11 months old). But, before they can finish their sentences, my daughter has begun some of her usual mischief, which includes pulling the hair of the older baby, exploring their face, trying to touch their toy, or helping herself to whatever snack they are eating.

You can imagine my embarrassment as I pull her hand down, apologize to the older baby and her/his parent, and in a calm voice try to explain to my daughter that this behavior is not acceptable, while she cries with rage and points at the other child and her toy/snack.

Luckily, so far the other parents and children have treated us graciously and have forgiven my daughter’s tantrums, probably because they have dealt with it themselves when their children were that age. According to many experts, children under the age of 3 are too young to undergo formal discipline measures such as time-outs. However, an incident in the library the other day made me think again about the importance of good parenting and providing discipline both to your child and ourselves!

During a Mommy and me story time at our local library, I noticed a cute little 9-month-old baby girl who liked to offer her hand to everyone for kissing–a real princess. She made the rounds in our circle to a little 3-year-old boy, nicely dressed, charming and adorable. Then, the boy bit the hand of the 9-month-old instead of kissing it. The girl started to cry and the boy’s mother was silent and offered no apology, though she did look genuinely concerned about both kids.

The girl’s mother started to yell at the boy’s mom in front of everyone, telling her she should not be taking her uncivilized boy out in public and the other woman fired back at her while the rest of us sat in silence and shock. I felt bad for both mothers (perhaps a little bit more for the one who got yelled at) but wondered why she wasn’t offering an apology or teaching her son that this biting was not OK? Then on the other hand, the little girl’s mom should have perhaps been more careful about who her daughter is offering her hand to for kisses and watched her a bit more closely.

Judging from several conversations/threads on Yahoo! Answers:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AiA_ZVxM1XalOvBZdrJ2Zu0jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20070308095247AASY1N5

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AqehgvYRmgMCAl9k81FFGC0jzKIX;_ylv=3?qid=20090925084702AA36y0N

I am not the only parent struggling with the question on how and when one should begin to discipline a child. Please join the conversation and let us know what you deem as the age appropriate for disciplining a baby.

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