Power – the ultimate aphrodisiac
We’ve heard the cliché before, sexy secretary fooling around with her married boss. Whether people were shocked, dismayed or just plain disappointed when news of former CIA director David Petraeus had an affair with his biographer and former military officer Paula Broadwell, Petraeus had officially joined the club of other philandering husbands -Arnold, Spitzer, Tiger, Clinton, etc.
When these affairs surface many emotions are involved, and several questions are posed: “Why?” “How could he be so foolish?” and “Did he really think no one would ever find out and reputations wouldn’t be destroyed?”
There are many reasons people cheat, but certain studies show the more powerful a person the more likely the person will have affairs and that applies to both men and women. “The likelihood [of infidelity] increases the more powerful someone is,” says study author Joris Lammers, an assistant professor of psychology at Tilburg University in the Netherlands. The research was published in Psychological Science. Lammers suggests “that one of strongest effects of power is that it increases feelings of confidence.” The reason there’s fewer philandering wife scandals is because there is a lower percentage of women in positions of power.
This increased self confidence increases your tolerance for risky behavior because you downplay the cons and only think about the rewards. It’s why so many powerful people, become more and more careless with their behavior until finally getting caught.
But if sex and power go hand and hand, where does romantic love come in? Is it possible that with increased power there is a decreased need for a real loving connection with someone?
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Interesting. Perhaps with power comes lesser need for a romantic relationship. I think that maybe it is the feeling of vulnerability that causes a deeper desire for such a relationship to fill that void of insecurity. With power you don’t feel as vulnerable and thus more independent, secure and self-sufficient.
WOmen are just easy anyhow. we will sleep with anyone. If we had a ounce of resepect, then this power sex wouldn’t happen. Now you know why we get called “fish” or “ho33″
Yes, it’s true.
Women are naturally attracted to a wealthy man.
If you’re wealthy not only can you seduce beautiful women but you will also get “the look” from them as well. And so yes, its true that if you’re very wealthy, you’re more likely to cheat
Its not romance. Its the thrill and like the article said “This increased self confidence increases your tolerance for risky behavior because you downplay the cons and only think about the rewards. It’s why so many powerful people, become more and more careless with their behavior until finally getting caught.”
SELF confidence .. Self , only thinking about the self. Therefore its not a true romance only a test of limits.
I don’t think one demographic–including gender & religion–cheat more than other demographics.
Women cheat as much as men, poor as often as wealthy, powerful as often as the unpowerful. It’s just that when the common-woman cheats, there’s no media to focus on it. There’s no reason the media would WANT to focus on it–the person is a nobody. That’s the only reason we THINK powerful people cheat more than the average person.
And the ‘secretary cheats with boss’ is an old-fashioned cliche. Women are much more successful these days. They are now no longer relegated to low-end jobs LIKE ‘office administrator’.
AAMOF, recent studies are suggesting women are more likely to have successful careers as opposed to their male counterparts.
We’ll see how this unfolds in the next few decades. We may be hearing more headlines like ‘female CEO caught having affair with young, male office admin’.
Funny. Because recently in the past, a woman cheated on her husband, who is a cardiologist, with their personal trainer.
A cardiologist. I mean, Wow.
Anyways, in my opinion, it really DEPENDS on the person.
No it’s absolutely not true. What is true that comes close, is that with more power comes more susceptibility to whatever personal weaknesses a person has. THAT’S true. For some people, that’s a wandering eye. But for others it’s gluttony. Still for others it’s other things. It is true that many women are attracted to a wealthy man but plenty are turned off by the personae that frequently accompanies wealth, particularly the entitlement and the pop culture that feeds it and its accompanying message about human worth. There are also plenty of men who are powerful who have had good fathers and know they have a good thing and don’t want to mess it up. They may be less tolerant of marriage difficulties at home that drag on, but that just refers back to the original problem with power. In a way it is like the prospect of bringing a third bedroom partner into a couple’s relationship, in this case the third party being power: whatever is wrong with the relationship before that arrangement, is the thing that gets blown up and can become the couple’s undoing. Power is a lot like that.
Power could possibly be a driver for advanced sexualy relations with multiple people but also don’t forget that it works the other way as well.
POWER: Knowing how to get pleasure in the moment.
Yes, men falls into temptation so easily though they are married. The more men are in power or on high position, temptation is just come alone. Besides many women now a days are an easy prey or a good fisher towards someone like those characters mentioned. Everyone wants to be seen in the scene of glory, in the glamorous life of cupid. Women never think they are breaking life of others,men gives way thinking they are powerful so why not give in, tomorrow is another day. He put his life in gamble whether the wife finds out but PERHAPS she will forgive him because he’s a personage in the high society sort of thoughts. Yes when a person is in power the temptation just come alone by itself and the prey just give in.
I believe it comes with the territory and the adreneline rush. You feel invincible on top of the world. Also when your a powerful MAN, your looks, height and other uncomplementary features go away and women normally inaccessible to you, suddenly become a possibility.
Women of powerful men cheat just like me they both go after people who have less power. There is a reason He so that his mistress is impressed by his power hoping some will rub off on her. The wife cheats with like the Trainer because she is tired of being the one who is at someone else s mercy and is tired of being in if you will fear.
well yes.
weak people are usually drawn closer to powerful people. they’re like insects swarming around a bright light. everyone has a certain price in their heads, you can subdue them if you’ve got the power.
The only time a man is good for me with money is if hes paying me by the hour n im not talking about payroll lol – but even then id have to be single!!! what good is his lamborghini if my car payment isnt being paid for , oh & insurance, rent, bills, clothes,hair lol woman sell them selves cheap!!! Woman take it beyond sex n try to steal these men from their wives which isnt right.
John,
The story you told applies to doctors who cannot afford a little personal time with his/her spouse. This happens often.
And yes I do believe power has an important role as an aphrodisiac. Seen and heard such cases too, I mean a lot.
Peace \/
Sure. I mean, not to dig up ancient history, but look at people like JFK and Clinton (OK, yeah, nobody in this lifetime is gonna let that one go easily)
Yes, certain women will indeed go after well-to-do or powerful men. If he’s married – well, it’s war. And the younger, hotter babe knows she’s an enchantress and that that alone gives her tremendous leveraged. She knows us guys are suckers for a little strange now and then – or oftener! I’ve been on the receiving end of this – and it still happened when I grew older and much grayer. That one slender little (married) blue-eyed blonde – oh my!
I think it’s easy to say that power and infidelity come hand to hand however I believe it starts off from what’s in the heart of a man/woman.
Yes, it is true that power hungry individuals tend to be type A, work hard, driven and possibly engage in many unlawful pursuits (drugs, heavy alcohol and prostitutes).
However, once again, it is the heart of this man/woman.
Similarly, the person who is trying to seduce this type A individual possibly is seeking more affirmation, likes the challenge, has no respect for that man/woman’s marital relationship and once again, seeking to gain fame – whether it be in secret or in some trashy tabloid 1 year later.
Either way both individuals possibly don’t have high standards/morals they abide by. Usually, it’s already seen in the way they act before they get to the top.
I believe it all starts from ones character flaws as opposed to suddenly at the top….
Marriage is obsolete.
I agree with Will, but that was only because of their charisma and charm, Also, not all women are weak enough to fall for power. Give us SOME respect. BTW, your credibility goes WAY down if you don’t know how to use the English language. -Estrella
For sure I think there’s a lot that goes into why this happens.
First of all, having that much power puts him in that position that a man always dreams of being in. He wants to do as he pleases and dominate a woman.
Why the heck would a guy stay married to the wife that probably sees him as an equal or even that she’s kind of the boss, when he’s got much younger beautiful women that see him as the King?
He never wanted to have a wife that he had to please and bow down to, he just thought that’s how it had to be.
I don’t think I’m worried about ‘what happens to romantic love’ or that romance is gone just because it ends in one and begins in another.
Besides, romance isn’t like the end-all for every person in life. Its one place where most people seem to think everyone’s happiness comes from… but no.
Some people have important things they want to do in the world, and this may be why they’re powerful… These people don’t often need this single one other person in their life to be happy…
What makes them most fulfilled is their careers…making a difference in the world… or just being immersed in mastering the market or whatever…
Life can be so infinitely interesting and wonderful and amazing without romance of any kind….
I know it is typical to ‘blame the world’ for our own problems…but i’m going to blame the world for this issue. Psychology is the wrong approach in my honest opinion…we need to look at this in a simpler and more common sense way.
Plain fact is..we live in a society where dishonesty is rewarded. We almost guaruntee that the weakest, least ethical people ‘rise to the top’. Thats a foundational flaw in how we evaluate people and who we deem qualified for promotions etc…there is too much information on paper and no time to examine a perosn’s judgement and character.
Another plain fact is that its foolish. The people with this behavior expose their own cognitive weakness…its quite possible to have self control (nothing about power should break this capacity) and avoid doing things that hurt your reputation…but these people fail. It calls into doubt their mental ability to handle their jobs.
It is often said that women are attracted by powerful men, but from my observation it seems that the women aren’t actually attracted, but are using sex in order to get something from the powerful men that they cannot get from the less powerful guys (i. e. a nice dinner, expensive gifts, promotion, etc).
If women were truly attracted to powerful men, you would see more instances of women caught touching themselves to photos of guys like Barack Obama, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, etc. Magazines like The Economist and Forbes, which feature economically powerful men all the time, would have a much larger female readership; it would be basically porn for women! Yet you never see these happen. Romance novels’ male love interests are tall, strong, muscular, and handsome, with their societal positions being secondary; you would never read about a woman falling for a guy who looks like Kim Jong-Il even if he had an incredible amount of political and financial power just like the real Kim did until last year.
In conclusion, no, women are attracted to looks just as much as men are, but are able to harness their sexual goods in order to obtain something from a man of power that only he can give.
It is easy to trash men when non profits such as John Walsh make millions when a good man is sent off
to jail. MSNBC can’t stop ripping off our people as they stoop to lying about all who are incarcerated with stories about the worst case criminals as the measuring stick for all. Our country is misled by recent campaigns by conflic of interests that put the best of men into dungeons with none of the privileges we hear of including real meat.
Yes, correct, it is an evolutionary concept. Our behaviour is the result of thousands of years of development and adaptation. In the old days, women were socially and therefore physically attracted to powerful men, as that was a surefire way to obtain stability and a dignified social condition. This has stayed in women who to these days still look for these traits in men. From the men point of view, men didnot care about the social status of women, as inmost societies and until not so many years ago they did not hold any significant and influential position in society; so to these days men are just attracted to the physical side of things
There are two dynamics going on here when we’re talking about a male in power and a female working under him. Firstly, it gives some men a little thrill to be able to give instructions or advice to a younger woman who is paying him attention – even in a professional way. It’s not to difficult to imagine that this thrill would translate sexually even in an environment where this isn’t encouraged. Secondly, women are attracted to men in a lot of ways, but two of the main ones are 1) a man that other women pay attention to, and 2) a man who has charisma and confidence. A man in a position of power naturally has other people paying attention to him (even if not “looking up” to him). A man in that position most likely needed the charisma and confidence to be promoted (or voted, appointed, etc.) into that position in the first place. This is also the rock star effect.
There is a certain feedback loop here that can spiral out of control. The man is getting all this attention, and it feels great, so he becomes even more confident to the point of careless cockiness. Not all women respond to this, but there are enough of them to make this feedback loop possible.
no its the power of feeling neglected …people powerless also powerful in monetary stature ….wise, dumb, young old, no one is immune to succumbing to desire…it doesn’t always make it right nor does it always make it wrong…people start to fear something within themselves well before the infidelity is full blown…being brutally honest with ones self is very difficult for most of us and then to be honest with a partner you may be departing it tough too.
Going back to the first comment – I’ll be the dummy. What’s ho33 mean (if it’s not too rude)?
Hello everyone
I was in a serious car accident in 2007, my guardian angel left me that day. The next 5 years was pure hell and I lost all of my money and I denounced God and only had death in my mind. I started to pray again recently and asked for forgiveness and guidance, months went by and out of nowhere a divine intervention. The Lord answered my prayers and I am born again. God truly does exist.