Mom on business trip – How do you prepare your kids?
After asking my manager to attend a conference I felt would be extremely valuable for our team, he finally said yes, and I should have been thrilled, but then reality hit! This will actually be the first time I will be away from my 2 year old for 5 consecutive days!
As the thought of separation from my toddler begins to cast dark clouds over my otherwise sunny and beautiful daydreams, I remember, technology is here to help us stay connected.
I was told by her Daycare teacher that I have to prepare her well by talking about the conference ahead of time– but as soon as I mention “Mummy having to take an airplane” she starts to cry.
Whenever I have questions regarding new parenting situations, I check out what the experts have to say.
- Ms. Smith, founder of MomTini Lounge, believes children thrive on routine and structure. To minimize the disruption at home caused by travel, she suggests canceling any unnecessary commitments like play dates to streamline the family schedule.
- Phaedra Cucina, author of the picture book “My Mommy’s on a Business Trip” advises mothers to use Skype video to show their younger children their hotel room when they are away on a trip. She notes, “it’s comforting for a young child to see mommy in her hotel room waving and making silly faces.” I will be sure to try this method, but I have a feeling it might cause my daughter to cry more and want to be right there with me.
- My Tips?
- Make sure you have all of your child’s medical records in one easily locatable place so the caretaker watching your child while you are away can easily find important info. If organization is not one of your top strengths, you might want to invest in a mobile app like ‘mother knows’ where you can have all of your child’s records at the tips of your fingers via an iPhone app.
Have you ever left your Toddler at home for a Business Trip and have some successful tips to share? We would love to hear them.
Thanks for reading,
Layla – Guest Blogger
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Layla is too worried about her toddler crying and being upset. Children get upset just as do adults. It’s part of life.
The Skype idea is a great one. If your toddler cries, tell her to STFU… OOPS, I mean, don’t cry little one, mommy can see you and everything is ok!
The fact that you can connect and see how she’s reacting, and react to it in real time, will give her a sense of comfort, especially when it becomes a nightly routine and she learns to “trust” that mommy really isn’t gone… just having a blast being away from her clingy brat OOOPS I mean her precious little loved one.
Prepare your kids? This isn’t something you need to prepare your kids for as much as yourself. You’ve been stuck like glue to your child for 2 years and probably haven’t taken any time for yourself at all. Your absence from the home should have been dealt with from day one! Leaving your child with a family member, baby sitter or friend is a good way to start them off on the right track and not always have the expectation that mommy will be there 24/7. She cries when you tell her you’re going to take an airplane? She doesn’t understand what you’re talking about and only hears that you’re going away! You need to let go so your child will be better equipped to act and behave in a good way independent of your presence. It may be too late for this trip but don’t make it too late for the future.
This was me years ago, traveling and leaving two small boys at home. We did what we could but a friend came up with an idea that made a lot of sense. Help the child visualize the days involved with a paper ring chain. Have the caregiver cut one off daily or have the child tear one off to show the passage of time.
Thanks so much Dene for your suggestion, I will definitely try that next time!
My ex-husband is military. He traveled frequently for many aspects of his job. We never “prepared” our son, we told him that daddy was going _____ and that was that. To better be able to track the timeline my son counted sleeps. He knew 4 more sleeps daddy would be home. There was no preparation because we didn’t make a big deal out of it. His father traveled for work and it had been that way since he was in utero so he just knew to expect it. Being a military family and we lived on a semi-isolated island in Alaska, even I got my chance to travel a bit. I was a housewife but I would go to Anchorage for a weekend, just to shop, go out to eat, see a movie… again, it was just simply “mommy is going to town for a few days”. There was no stress, no tears, no worries, no upheaval. It was just our life. I think we stress today’s children out because we try to PREPARE them for everything. Instead of just allowing them to accept life as it comes at us.
My son is now 23, in the military himself. There was no skype back then, there wasn’t even cell phone service. If his dad called home and we were outside walking the dog, we missed the call. Stop stressing your kids out, you’ll find they are far more prepared to handle things without you teaching them how to be prepared. Kids are resilient. Let them be.
@Coastie Mom: You have a good point. Perhaps I am the one stressing more than our daughter. Thought this week my husband was away and when my daughter saw one of the other Dads picking up his daughter from Daycare she begun crying and asking for Daddy! I have to learn to be more tough and resilient like you
I usually prepare them by putting a bunch of TV dinners in the freezer and a note on the table when I leave
Well there is no way to prepare them just start packing without telling them and if they ask what you are doing say “Oh…Honey we are going on a little business trip,just for a little while.”Thats at least what i said when me my husband and my son Kevin went on a buisness trip.
Let them help in the trip; let them map out your route and alternate routes modes of travel. Let them figure out what you could see and do there. Take a quick photo of where you are in front of that place and im them the photos. Small things make them happy. Even if you don’t call often let them have a part of the experience, trust me they love to plan and pack trips. Even if you have to do it over….
love
When my kids were little, I would count with them the number of days I planned to be on the road. We’d look at a calendar. I’d then place in each child’s hand a number of kisses (five for five days), plus one, in case the child needed it that day. When my son was 18 and leaving for Iraq, he took my hand and put a bunch of kisses in it. He said, “Here, I hope it’s not that many days, but this is an extra one in case you need it today.” Also, I carried kids’ storybooks with me on the road and I’d read to them from payphones in airports. Today, with cell phones, that would be a lot easier.
A pinch of salt, a dash of pepper, and stewed in onions for several hours until tender
buy them an xbox,only give it to them when you go.thay’ll be happy to see you go.
its eather going to be hard for you or hard for them.your choice dude!
My dad was in Japan for a while when I was about 2, but I was with my mom the whole time. My mom said I never cried, no matter how old I was, when he left.
What about your spouse? They’re going to be there aren’t they? Or a close family tie that the kid sees a lot that they’re very comfortable with?
My dad always goes on long buisiness trips. Still does actually. I don’t rememeber any preparing. He still doesn’t really “prepare” me and my brother for them. He just says “next week I’m gonna be in ___, and I won’t be back for ____.” It was never a big deal. He’s been away anywhere from a week to 8 month periods before. If you do it frequently enough I guess the kid gets used to it.
Poor Layla…It’s not a matter of you getting tough or being resilient! It’s a matter of you getting smart. If you treat your kids like little wimps that need to be coddled…that’s exactly what they’ll be when they get older…a wimpy kid, teen and young adult who can’t handle anything at all that smacks of life not revolving around them.
Wow… I’m stunned by some of the comments on here. Let me put my own cards on the table: I believe wholeheartedly in attachment parenting, and I do not believe that trying to help your toddler (who thrives on routine and predictability, and for whom you are their primary source of direction, discipline, care and provision) to adapt and get ready for your departure means that you are in any way fostering or growing a child who is “wimpy” or “clingy.” Our society is geared far too heavily toward pushing children to be independent, when research shows that children who have strong attachment relationships with their parents in the early years become some of the most secure, confident and independent adults.
And sure – you may need to do some of your own emotional preparation, but It’s great and smart of you to want to help your toddler understand and cope with your leaving for a few days. Two year olds only generally understand time concepts like the passing of days… so helping them to understand that while you may not be there after one, two… five sleeps, but that you will, in fact, be coming home one day after that – is tough. So doing something visual/tangible like a big calender on a wall where you cross off the days as they pass, with a big star or picture of mommy stuck on the day you’re set to return is a way to help them visualize the whole thing. And then doing skype while you’re away is a great idea. But just like any big change that’s coming, talking about it is important. And everything I’ve read says that because toddlers don’t yet have a good understanding the passing of time, it’s best to start talking about it a few days beforehand, and not more, otherwise it can become something they’re just wondering and waiting about – unsure of when it will happen, which can cause more stress.
But good on you for caring enough to want to help your child feel secure and confident in the midst of change and transition – something even many adults don’t do well.