Heartache
Boy meets girl and falls head over heels – that’s the start of most romantic comedies. Those first exciting moments of chemistry and attraction that make your heart flutter, eventually develop into love, and as the playground song says “then comes marriage”. The girl gets her prince charming and they go on to live a happy romantic fairytale.
Real life however isn’t like the movies and eventually, your happy ever after ends either in a break up or death. However, is it possible that being in love can lead to dying of a broken heart?
Marriage statistics and divorce rates are always in the media, and whenever there is a relationship that lasts it garners headlines. Yahoo! Shine printed a story about a husband and wife that died 16 hours apart after 76 years of marriage. There are several stories similar to this one, where couples who are married for 50+ years die within hours or days apart.
The pain of having a relationship end is very real and well documented. A study in 2005 in The New England Journal of Medicine showed that when a loved one dies, stress hormones are increased which increases blood pressure and can trigger a heart attack. Falling in love is not only an emotional, mental, and physical sensation it also is a physiological response that can literally break your heart.
Dying of a broken heart is a very real occurrence and isn’t rare. But, what makes a couple’s love so deep that they literally honor their vows of “till death do us part?” Please leave a comment below.
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My god. i heard of animals dieing from depression like being seperated from their families but damn !
I don’t think when you’re married 50+ years you’d die of a broken heart, but rather of despondency, of not knowing how to live without the one person you were used to, even if that person was hateful. I think broken heart can happen ONLY when you’ve never had sex with the person you’re in love with and you meet them once or a few times, fall in love and then they disappear out of your life and you crave them, you die of longing, of the romantic notions in your head of what it would be like to be with that person. Once you have sex with someone things are ruined. The person starts to fart around you and take you for granted and then you’re stuck with them. One day you wake up realize there’s no more sex and “what have I done” and then it’s time to move on. If you love someone, just don’t have sex. It’s not worth it. People either turn crazy, rude or indifferent after you have sex with them. Make them fall in love with you, make them crave you and then just leave. Be the one who leaves before they leave you. Why die for someone who couldn’t care less whether you live or die, or worse, doesn’t even know you exist! You can love someone, but they never love you back. it’s all a ruse to get your money and free rent.
This very same thing happened to my grandparents on my dad’s side of the family.. My grandmother passed away from a heart attack, 10 months after my grandfather.. ..after he passed, she told me how she felt- I was young, so she tried to put in a way that I could understand- She said it was like trying to breathe, with no air.. No one was surprised when she left us, considering the bond they had.. it was one of the most miraculous things I’ve ever seen… I, too, have someone in my life that I love so completely, that if anything ever happened to him, I don’t know how I could ever handle something like that.. I’m not sure what would happen to me… When half of your heart leaves you like that, and that completeness is gone, what do you do? I don’t have the answer, except for in my own case I hope to never have to visit that sad and lonely question… I plan to ‘go’ first–
This could be true
Anything is possible. 
Wow, 2nd post by ‘Meh’ is just sad! That person obviously has never had a wonderful relationship.
My husband and I have been married 12 years. I’ll admit I don’t know what the future holds, but I can tell you that I already can’t imagine life without him.
We’re old-fashioned. We actually believe in and follow those vows we took when we wed. I believe in absolute fidelity, commitment for life, forsaking all others. I believe that ‘the two shall become one’ and truly mean that. Yes we are still individuals, we certainly don’t agree all the time, but we really like each other. We’re best friends and lovers as well. We laugh and enjoy being together–we can’t stand being apart. In my mind, that is how marriage is supposed to be, and it’s sad how rare that is.
I completely believe in dying of a broken heart. When you lose a person who is truly part of yourself, the only thing you desire is to be with them.
Most people can’t understand that, having never allowed themselves to be that vulnerable in order to truly be that close to another person.
High risk…but high reward.
I believe that you can die of a broken heart, not only in a romantic relationship but also when your child dies or a friend that was very close to you dies or even when a job you have made your entire life has gone away.
Depression can cause so many problems in life including death because it is another stressor on the body.
Dear Ashu, there is a general saying “Love is not life but it’s a part of life” OK! but what i think Love is a part of life which makes every part of life, easier, simple, and possible. When relationship breaks it effects on heart badly and in most psychological way…a heart attack is possible. thanks for your article and wishes.
I think that it is possible not only be death, but also by separation, or if one is found cheating.
I’ve heard of this happening a lot. What I was really wondering though, can someone die from that when they’re like 20? I know that old people are very acceptable to heart attacks, but younger people aren’t. So I was just curious as to is this only for older people? Because if so I would have to say that it’s not a broken heart that kills them but the dependency on the other person that kills them, like the don’t know how to live without that person since they’ve been with them for so long.
No you die because your heart is broken,its not about sex and that your not going to have it again it,s about love and devotion and the sanctity of marriage and the vows you took together I have been married for 38 years.My husband is my friend lover, companian care giver father grandfather ,and I dont think i would be able to go on without him.I love him with all my heart
The answer is very clear. It is RESPECT. A mutual respect for each other. It is the giving and sharing, working through the bad times and being able to understand each others stand and knowing when to give and when to take.. It is believing in each others devotion and love.
The problem with todays relationships is that people dont take their time to get to know each other. Understand each others views, opinions and quirks. The run to the alter cause their clocks are ticking and then end up in a bad relationship.
They date a time or two and then wham you are expected to give it up like it is due. Old days you courted and learned each other, shared and laughed, cried and consoled each other. That is a what real love is about.
Un, I fell in love with a boy many months ago, but he didn’t feel the same way. I was so devestated and heartbroken, I couldn’t take it. I started having strong pains in my heart, like someone was squeezing the life out of me. Though he didn’t feel the same, I started to accept his feelings and eventually move on… ^-^’
I agree- it is about respect for each other. I see being married to the man of my dreams as a gift to be appreciated. If that was ever taken away, it would be sad, but to know I have been able to love and share life with someone special is not a right- it is something to be treasured.
Indeed I have witnessed this phenomenon. The husband died in the early evening and the wife the next morning. They had been married for 47 years, built a business together and never had children. I don’t remember ever seeing them apart.
We know almost nothing about ourselves. We are too close. Social animals, which is what we are have very intricate social relationships. In our case some are deep and long lived, some are transitory and others are long lived but superficial. Each of these things separate and collectively form much of what we think of as our ‘lives’ and it’s those little threads connecting us that imparts the most fundamental experience of society.
After the first guy I ever really loved dumped me, I was noticeably more fatigued. All I wanted to do was sleep, and I couldn’t stop thinking of him. I have definitely felt the physiological effects of a broken heart.
My great-grandfather was robbed in the 40′s and died as a result of his injuries. My great-grandmother died 6 weeks later. They had 3 children together and were married for 30+ years. So, I totally buy that theory!
I really didn’t want to answer this one, but I felt compelled. Love is not definable, even by science. I fell in love with my husband the first time I looked into his amazingly kind eyes…that was in 1985. He was murdered on April 8, 2010 by a random carjacker, which means I had to celebrate Easter Sunday on the same day this year. Meanwhile, our 23rd wedding anniversary is coming up on 4/21 (American).
When we said “til death do us part, we meant it with all our hearts”, and we’d still be there if someone hadn’t shot him to death in an effort to steal the truck I gave him for Valentine’s Day in 2000.
If I could find a better way to answer your question, I would, but please don’t discount me just for being American. We really, really did love each other, for nearly 25 years, and I really know how he felt about me, as well, but in case you’re not sure, when I went to identify him, I kissed him three times…once for each of our children. That’s love.
Heart ache is what results from giving yourself up to someone, or something, and not have it reciprocated back to you. It is what happens when you have something stripped from you despite giving every ounce of blood, sweat, and tears for it. Heartache is loss.
I have heard of this before & its very true! So bittersweet like in the movie “The Notebook”. Its also very common that when one half of an older couple passes, the other follows within a year! Wonder if that is part of the broken heart syndrome also!?
Krishnamurti: We are going to discover by understanding what love is not, because, as love is the unknown, we must come to it by discarding the known. The unknown cannot be discovered by a mind that is full of the known. What we are going to do is to find out the values of the known, look at the known, and when that is looked at purely, without condemnation, the mind becomes free from the known; then we shall know what love is. So, we must approach love negatively, not positively.
What is love with most of us? When we say we love somebody, what do we mean? We mean we possess that person. From that possession arises jealousy, because if I lose him or her what happens? I feel empty, lost; therefore I legalize possession; I hold him or her. From holding, possessing that person, there is jealousy, there is fear and all the innumerable conflicts that arise from possession. Surely such possession is not love, is it?
Obviously love is not sentiment. To be sentimental, to be emotional, is not love, because sentimentality and emotion are mere sensations. A religious person who weeps about Jesus or Krishna, about his guru or somebody else, is merely sentimental, emotional. He is indulging in sensation, which is a process of thought, and thought is not love. Thought is the result of sensation, so the person who is sentimental, who is emotional, cannot possibly know love. Again, aren’t we emotional and sentimental? Sentimentality, emotionalism, is merely a form of self-expansion. To be full of emotion is obviously not love, because a sentimental person can be cruel when his sentiments are not responded to, when his feelings have no outlet. An emotional person can be stirred to hatred, to war, to butchery. A man who is sentimental, full of tears for his religion, surely has no love.
Is forgiveness love? What is implied in forgiveness? You insult me and I resent it, remember it; then, either through compulsion or through repentance, I say, “I forgive you”. First I retain and then I reject. Which means what? I am still the central figure. I am still important, it is I who am forgiving somebody. As long as there is the attitude of forgiving it is I who am important, not the man who is supposed to have insulted me. So when I accumulate resentment and then deny that resentment, which you call forgiveness, it is not love. A man who loves obviously has no enmity and to all these things he is indifferent. Sympathy, forgiveness, the relationship of possessiveness, jealousy and fear – all these things are not love. They are all of the mind, are they not? As long as the mind is the arbiter, there is no love, for the mind arbitrates only through possessiveness and its arbitration is merely possessiveness in different forms. The mind can only corrupt love, it cannot give birth to love, it cannot give beauty. You can write a poem about love, but that is not love.
Obviously there is no love when there is no real respect, when you don’t respect another, whether he is your servant or your friend. Have you not noticed that you are not respectful, kindly, generous, to your servants, to people who are so-called ‘below’ you? You have respect for those above, for your boss, for the millionaire, for the man with a large house and a title, for the man who can give you a better position, a better job, from whom you can get something. But you kick those below you, you have a special language for them. Therefore where there is no respect, there is no love; where there is no mercy, no pity, no forgiveness, there is no love. And as most of us are in this state we have no love. We are neither respectful nor merciful nor generous. We are possessive, full of sentiment and emotion which can be turned either way: to kill, to butcher or to unify over some foolish, ignorant intention. So how can there be love?
You can know love only when all these things have stopped, come to an end, only when you don’t possess, when you are not merely emotional with devotion to an object. Such devotion is a supplication, seeking something in a different form. A man who prays does not know love. Since you are possessive, since you seek an end, a result, through devotion, through prayer, which make you sentimental, emotional, naturally there is no love; obviously there is no love when there is no respect. You may say that you have respect but your respect is for the superior, it is merely the respect that comes from wanting something, the respect of fear. If you really felt respect, you would be respectful to the lowest as well as to the so-called highest; since you haven’t that, there is no love. How few of us are generous, forgiving, merciful! You are generous when it pays you, you are merciful when you can see something in return. When these things disappear, when these things don’t occupy your mind and when the things of the mind don’t fill your heart, then there is love; and love alone can transform the present madness and insanity in the world – not systems, not theories, either of the left or of the right. You really love only when you do not possess, when you are not envious, not greedy, when you are respectful, when you have mercy and compassion, when you have consideration for your wife, your children, your neighbour, your unfortunate servants.
Love cannot be thought about, love cannot be cultivated, love cannot be practised. The practice of love, the practice of brotherhood, is still within the field of the mind, therefore it is not love. When all this has stopped, then love comes into being, then you will know what it is to love. Then love is not quantitative but qualitative. You do not say, “I love the whole world” but when you know how to love one, you know how to love the whole. Because we do not know how to love one, our love of humanity is fictitious. When you love, there is neither one nor many: there is only love. It is only when there is love that all our problems can be solved and then we shall know its bliss and its happiness.
My Crandall grandfather died in 2007 a few weeks after his 96th birthday after having been married for 69 years; his widow died a few months later which a few months before her 90th birthday and a few months before their 70th wedding anniversary (though I’m sure it wasn’t by a broken heart nor depression; suicide was highly unlikely).
This is also why The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints —with which my Crandall relatives and I are affiliated— has temples: to be married and to be a family for time and all eternity.
http://www.lds.org
http://www.mormon.org
Through the years you grow together and become like one.When you lose them you lose a part of yourself and some people just aren’t strong enough to get through the trauma.Couples that love each other feel the same heartache but those that become too interdependant in their relationship give up the fight easier.
This is so true. I’ve seen it especially in animals. Two cat brothers grew up from kittens together at the shelter I volunteer at, and stayed together until they were about 2 years old. One of the cats got adopted, but left the other behind. The cat that was left at the shelter died the next day, a perfectly healthy, young, beautiful orange tabby, and they couldn’t figure out why he had died…probably from a broken heart. Also, I had two guinea pigs, and they had been together since pups, a neutered male and a female. When younger, I remember they always used to chase each other and get all frisky, and then when they got older, they would sleep close to each other and got really stressed when they were apart. When they were both about 8 years old, I was devastated when my boy got cancer. The tumours quickly grew on his body, and just before I decided to put him down, he died. My girl sniffed him before they took him away, and I took her home. She was showing clear signs of aging; once she was a loud, bright, plump guinea pig, but in the last few years she turned into a quiet, thin guinea pig with a cataract. The next day, when I got home from school, I found her dead…she was waiting for her lover to die.
It’s sad that these things happen and that people have flings before marriage. You can’t have a boyfriend at 15 and expect to be with him forever. There’s bound to be heartbreak.
Some might find this hard to believe but it happens to animals when their owner dies. I knew an elderly couple a few years ago that had a dog, and when the woman died the husband couldn’t get their dog to eat or do anything. He was closer to her than to him and when she died it was as if he shut down. Even animals can die of a broken heart..
I have always known this. it is more prevalent for some than others, and I have no doubt that if my girl died before I did, I would quickly follow. I am an empath, which means the emotions of those around me. me and my girl are half a country apart and yet when she feels pain, I also feel her pain, not just mentally but physically as well. when that time does come, I would want to follow her.
Love becomes Pain, It hurts so much, i lost that one person i love with all my heart i can’t eat i can’t sleep it’s like my life is slipping away day by day, i cant’t focus life without him is no life not anymore… we were married, we fell in love so deep and crash so hard now my life has no meaning, the pain just won’t go away, it hurts, it hurts so much i just want to close my eyes and and drift away…
I just broke up with a girl who I dated for 3 years. I loved her and needed her but she appreciated me so little that she was no longer tolerable to conversate with or be around. She was rude constantly and often had my self esteem at a new low. irrelevant? I know. Just venting cuz im sad.
Obviously Meh your heart has already been broken!
I know one old couple were married for 75 years or so,that died within hours of one another. Those two were held together by an invisible,emotional bond. Once the husband died, his wife could not imagine life without him. She died within hours of him. I am glad that Nellie did not have to mourn Bert for long.
I think you can die of a broken heart, cause when you find someone that really is perfect for you there is no turning back it took me 39 years to understand that real love is not suffering and pain, and now if I ever was to lose that person I dunno how will I keep living life, sounds pathetic maybe to people like Meh but is the truth..
i usually get these alot even through my high school years. i dont really take it for granted that i wanted to be with a crush to whom i like so much but as soon as i see that same crush having a boyfriend, my heart just tanked or it felt it got dropped and i feel pretty much sad and almost depressing and so on. its just the matter if a guy can handle a simple break up and/or if a girl can handle being dumped and so on. i know a couple of my friend that had similar relationship problems and wanting a new bf/gf and so on. as for myself i can hold my ground just as long it doesnt annoy me at the most.
well everything is being controlled by brain. heartache happens when brain sends signal and tells the heart to process differently. because brain was used to something and that something or someone isn’t there physically, psychologically or idea logically that something was there, and if you don’t recover from those signals it become something like an addiction than same things keeps happening everyday or every moment. Finally reaches to limit that heart and brain changes behavior. Brain gets addicted to reminding of that one specific thoughts and sends error signals to heart and heart rate changes and once the brain is addicted to one specific thing that’s when nothing in your body functions perfectly that it used to do. So in order for brain to process perfect we should always force ourselves not to get addicted. Love is like an addiction. I don’t have much knowledge. I am 22 years old haven’t been in any addiction but have been through first love depression and It’s the second time still in process of recovering. I still have hope she would come back but am forcing myself to give up on hope. haven’t ever contacted any therapist I just have that belief that if I can’t help myself no one else can
I like to think of myself as a realist. I think truly what happens when people (in the instances described, it is pertaining primarily to older foks), is when you get older, and you slow down in life, every little detail of your life becomes less flexible, more fragile. The more your life becomes like a house of cards glued together, and over time, that glue is hardening, and crumbling, eventually into dust. The older you get, the more likely that if one little detail is out of place, the likely the other variables in your life change too. If that one person you’ve spent so much time with is suddenly not there, it’s equivalent to pulling out one of the bottom cards once your card house’s glue is crumbling or missing altogether.
In physical life the senses tell of the existence of things; mind discovers the reality of meanings; but the spiritual experience reveals to the individual the true values of life. These high levels of human living are attained in the supreme love of God and in the unselfish love of man. If you love your fellow men, you must have discovered their values. You can best discover values in your associates by discovering their motivation. If someone irritates you, causes feelings of resentment, you should sympathetically seek to discern his viewpoint, his reasons for such objectionable conduct. If once you understand your neighbor, you will become tolerant, and this tolerance will grow into friendship and ripen into love.
In the mind’s eye conjure up a picture of one of your primitive ancestors of cave-dwelling times — a short, misshapen, filthy, snarling hulk of a man standing, legs spread, club upraised, breathing hate and animosity as he looks fiercely just ahead. Such a picture hardly depicts the divine dignity of man. But allow us to enlarge the picture. In front of this animated human crouches a saber-toothed tiger. Behind him, a woman and two children. Immediately you recognize that such a picture stands for the beginnings of much that is fine and noble in the human race, but the man is the same in both pictures. Only, in the second sketch you are favored with a widened horizon. You therein discern the motivation of this evolving mortal. His attitude becomes praiseworthy because you understand him. If you could only fathom the motives of your associates, how much better you would understand them. If you could only know your fellows, you would eventually fall in love with them.
You cannot truly love your fellows by a mere act of the will. Love is only born of thoroughgoing understanding of your neighbor’s motives and sentiments. It is not so important to love all men today as it is that each day you learn to love one more human being. If each day or each week you achieve an understanding of one more of your fellows, and if this is the limit of your ability, then you are certainly socializing and truly spiritualizing your personality. Love is infectious, and when human devotion is intelligent and wise, love is more catching than hate. But only genuine and unselfish love is truly contagious. If each mortal could only become a focus of dynamic affection, this benign virus of love would soon pervade the sentimental emotion-stream of humanity to such an extent that all civilization would be encompassed by love, and that would be the realization of the brotherhood of man.
Gosh! Dying just because of love? That’s unbelievable!
falling is love is great what better feeling but also falling out is as great it happens to us all enjoy the pain of falling it goes away in time and you look back and say what the hell was i thinking good part about it is you get modavated for the next one you walk alot lose weight what better weight loss is breaking up , life is short we have has humans about 30000 days on earth enjoy them fall in love as often as you want and fall out as often for get the marriage that is when the web of guilt comes over you and your life is over, this is 2012 not the dark ages live with them but never marry most today dont why kids are costly and useless for the most part later in life why use your 30000 days that way when you love yourself you care less for the love of others look at the ones you grew up see there lifes that will be yours if you tie up with a man or women
Just goes to show that love is a force way over most of our heads. It is a hard force to live up to and gives way only to our own foibles which hinder and dilute our ability to deal with it.
I do think that separation, be it by death or break up can trigger several physical responses in your body. Anxiety often comes with difficulty to breathe, dizziness, nausea, numbing of the limbs, chest pains, no sleep, binging or anorexia. All of which combined can surely bring a person to its grave. Depression can also lead to death. From my experience after a very devastating break up I literally felt like I was dying, and probably would have if it wasn´t for therapy. I think immediate attention should follow a loss and that the matter be taken in al seriousness.
When I lost my first love, my health deteriorated along with my emotional well being. I started getting stomach ulcers, chest pressure and pain, and I developed an anxiety disorder. I had difficulty sleeping- I’d wake up in a cold sweat or crying or screaming. I was so fatigued and sick every few days. I was only 16, and people kept telling me that I didn’t really know what love was… but loved him I did.
I’m young (28), and I wasn’t close to my grandparents; so, I don’t have any story connected to old age, love, and death, but I know that when I fell in love, for the first time (@16), I experienced feelings that could have (without intervention) lead to my death.
I hadn’t ever felt connected to anyone before (including family or friends), and when she told me she didn’t want to be with me, I went into instant shock. I stopped talking, stopped sleeping, I barely ate. I started loosing touch with reality.
It’s not quite the same, because this isn’t something that’d cause instant death, but I can understand how severe a reaction to lost love can be.
I do believe that you can die from a broken heart, love is so strong. This it’s why it’s called finding your soulmate. they are a part of you, it’s like losing apart of you once your soulmate is gone no one else can hardly replace them.
I actually find this really touching and sweet….
one of my dads best friends had a dog he loved and cared for so much, that dog was spoiled to the point of disbelieve. this dog had many health problems, and when the dog passed, after their strong 6 year “mans best friend” relationship, the owner, (my dads friend) passed on just a couple weeks later. this man and his dog lived with us, because we were all very close and looked after each other. this dog never trusted anyone as much as he trusted his owner, but due to suffering, we had to get the dog put down. once kenny (the dog) was put up onto the table, and we were saying out last words, the owner never took his hand off of kenny, and never broke eye contact. (he was 100% blind, but he somehow never looked away from his owner.) when the needle was given, the last thing the dog ever heard, and felt was the touch and embrace of his owner.
My wife’s cooking always give me heartburn
I have had a “broken Heart” with my ex. I was very upset, and i believe in love and all, but after that, I just have very little respect for men. Its Sad really… Oh, i was So heart Broken…..
But then Again,
If my heart was broken, i would be dead.
I heard of someone that had such a bad break up she stopped eating and couldn’t function. She eventually lost her kidney function from dehydration. Don’t remember if she died, but it can be horrible. Thankfully I’ve been with the love of my life since the beginning and hope it stays. I coud not imagine life with out him or my children. I knew of a lady that lost her son.
love get us crazy…
I experienced this it was so excruciating to me that I would rather of died, honestly hoped to die. I could not function, the grief was beyond what I could bare.
I’ve felt that way about someone before and had them play games with me and hurt me really bad. This girl turned out to be one of the biggest monsters I had ever known. It took me years to get over this person (and I guess in some ways, I am not fully over this person, nor will I ever be). While discovering and experiencing the feeling of love is one of the most amazing things that You will ever feel, you have to ask yourself one question after you’ve been there and have been broken by someone;
I’ve already experienced this most talked about feeling that put me on top of the world, and now I’ve had it taken away from me and have never felt a worse pain in my whole life…. So is it worth it to do it all over again, or shall I just play it safe and keep people at a distance?
Twin souls,soul mates,living life times together,being lucky to find one another as this does not always happen,when it does one can not bear to continue on,without the other.
Salam, thanks for the article. it was an interesting read. hmmm…wow i have never seen this kind of love but it warmed my heart to know it may exist. it’s nice to know there is love in the world you live in. makes it easier to breathe in here!
The best way to get over a heart break is just to take time and treat yourself with respect and be with your friends and family. Try not to think of your ex and get rid of everything that reminds you of them. Also, use this time to fangirl over your celeb crush.
I don’t know how I’d live without my girlfriend. She’s everything to me, so I can definitely see how people could die of a broken heart.
I’d be depressed as hell if anything ever happened between us, or TO her (god forbid).
Even if we can’t legally marry in our state, love finds a way through thick or thin, and we can still make our vows regardless.
Even for same-sex couples, marriage is still just a record on paper.
So marriage or not, I’m never giving her up.
Wayyyyy too madly in love with that amazing woman.
I can understand how this happens after my heart was broken I became so negative, depressed unmotivated so I can see how the stress could affect one physically!
)
I hadn’t been married to my “love” but had I been for 50 odd years who knows if I’d have died but it wouldn’t surprise me if I had! (Yeah even though I would be dead I think you know what I mean
I have seen this happen between a couple of couples I know of!
Love when you find it can make you feel so amazing and so that positivity has a brilliant effect on health x
heartache’s are a part of life ,it’s what make’s you grow, but it’s up to you in what direction you take , you can allow that ache to consume you and grow bitter and cold losing your own soul or learn that God has higher plans for you; so you can dine on the lies or feast on their alibis or you can regurgitate it all and live life accordingly. Doing what makes you happy and not allowing anyone else’s misery consume your life.
Wow, i reamber bieng 15 (last year around the same time) i had my first boyfriend. Everyone said i changed him and made his days better. He always hugged me and bought me gifts whenever.he went somewhere and tell me i was his world.and.whatnot i was unique and special the most.bueatiful girl . I thought i was happy and in love but there was a part of me that knew that is wasnt going to last. So he had this “friend” who was a girl and he constantly talked about her how she looked and junk, he was her ex. So one day me and him decided to go.to.the fair and meet up there. Well i saw him.with his arms around her. The next day our relationship wasnt the same. We fought more and he just “stopped loving” me. We got into this big fight, and i called it quits. He was so heartbroken and sad, my friends (also his friends) were mad at me and niw dont talk to me.I find out he was trying to get back with his ex when he wrote on her facebook wall “your the most prettiest girl ive ever met your special and i can never find someone like you etc…..” she didnt go back out with him. For one whole week i couldnt eat and felt so depreased
Wow, i reamber bieng 15 (last year around the same time) i had my first boyfriend. Everyone said i changed him and made his days better. He always hugged me and bought me gifts whenever.he went somewhere and tell me i was his world.and.whatnot i was unique and special the most.bueatiful girl . I thought i was happy and in love but there was a part of me that knew that is wasnt going to last.he was also bipolar and chose to be with his friends rather then me he was high maintaince if.i touched his.white shirt hed yell at me. So he had this “friend” who was a girl and he constantly talked about her how she looked and junk, he was her ex. So one day me and him decided to go.to.the fair and meet up there. Well i saw him.with his arms around her. The next day our relationship wasnt the same. We fought more and he just “stopped loving” me. We got into this big fight, and i called it quits. He was so heartbroken and sad, my friends (also his friends) were mad at me and niw dont talk to me.I find out he was trying to get back with his ex when he wrote on her facebook wall “your the most prettiest girl ive ever met your special and i can never find someone like you etc…..” she didnt go back out with him. For one whole week i couldnt eat and felt so depreased all the time.beacause aftet we broke up.we primised to stay friends i texted him but he would reply with “lol, yea” “cool”. So for the best of me i decided to remove him from my life, i delated him from facebook and stop talking to him. he wasnt putting effort to be friends. I tried asking him out again but he rejected. And then he moved towns. A year later he moved back and my mom says he talkes to her asking if we could be friends i told him no. I wasnt going to be a 2nd choice. But i thank him beacause know i now what a bad relationship is and how to avoid it. Plus im in love with a new boy…..and my days are brighter than before.
I’m a strong person, and I’ve overcome many obstacles in my 55 years, but my divorce at the age of 50 darn near did me in. Nothing I did could get me past the abject grief I experienced…against my better judgement AND even my own desires…I could no longer hope for the future…let alone see into it. I stopped eating, and no longer even chuckled at the things I used to find hilarious. I survived it…but I am definitely not the person I used to be.
My parents were married 59 years. My Mom died Nov 28th, and my perfectly healthy father, went unconscious 28 days later. Dr. said his heart had been through something so tramatic that he was in A fib and was also suddenly tachycardic. Dr. asked me what it was and I told him he had lost his wife. Dr. then informed me there was no way my Dad would survive, his heart was technically ‘broken’ and he didn’t have the strength to survive. He never regained consciousness and died shortly after. My Mom always told me…. If I die first, your Dad won’t live a month. She was right.
To answer your question: The little things
I never really put much thought into the after-life until I fell in love with Dustin. I have never felt this way before about anyone. The thought that he will die one day is unbearable to me thus I have to believe that our relationship will be honored by God in Heaven and that we will be in Heaven together after this world.
I agree that love is not something that is definable. I was in a relationship for 5 years, and I loved him and I did everything I could in the relationship until I just couldn’t anymore. But then I met the love of my life and I knew he was special, it was such a different feeling that it was overwhelming. We can read each other so well, that we know what the other will say before we say it. We support each other no matter what. We always listen and challenge each other. And you just know when you look into that person’s eyes that they are the one you want to spend the rest of your life with and that you will love them unconditionally. So yes I believe in death of a broken heart it hurts my heart just to think of him gone and never coming back…
My wife Frieda who i was with since 1981,died last June 19th of ALS. I am still suffering because we were married in West Berlin,and this being my second marrige,I assumed would last forever.She was a wonderful wife,mother and best of all my soulmate.We shared true love and although we had our fights,she never gave up on me.She got her wish and died at home instead of the hospital.I loved her so,and will probably join her sooner than later,for I loved her so.
This actually happened to me! I was working at my preveous job and instantly fell in love with this absolutely gorgeous co- worker and we dated for awhile and being a weak young guy I became attracted to another woman and also dated her, well that was stupid because I loved the first girl and the second was just me being a dumbass, anyway I was working and heard how the first girl I was dating (gorgeous) was now dating someone else, right then I felt something, an indiscribable pain (not a heart attack but in the same area) shortly after that I was running to help someone and my heart stopped, I still love her and always will but she will never know, she moved to the east coast (same company) and married someone there.
Indeed, it really aches. She was my best friend. I fell in love with that girl. She was my crush. You know, what hurts more? Not that she did’nt love but what you did’nt find the courage to tell her..
Eventually, it ended all, everything broken. I lost my contact with her. I really miss her, i miss her in my dreams, in my days. Now, i always keep myself busy. Its life and i would have to put up it.
I’ve heard of it and I never doubted it. Even as a kid.
When I was 16 I dated a guy for only 6 months. But, oh, did I adore him! When we broke up I started getting sick a lot. All throughout high school I’d have minor illnesses like colds and the flu. But this time I got tonsillitis and eventually had to get my tonsils pulled. Right after the surgery weird things started happening to me. After a visit to the ER we were told that I had heart failure. This was 2 years after the breakup but like most of us know 2 years is about what it takes to get over such a loss. At this point I was still really hurting. Who knows if it was from the surgery or if my heart really broke but something sure happened. I’m alive and well now and happy with my short relationship with that boy.
Sure will be one good memory!
fell in love with my gf, but we broke up an had the worst pain in my chest, couldn’t explain it. went away after a few weeks.
I had an aunt and uncle who were married 60 years. They were both in their late 90′s and spry – he still drove to church at 98. Uncle was diagnosed with a terminal cancer and given only a few months to live. Aunt looked after him and continued to be in very good health…. until she fell and broke her hips. She went to the hospital and died of pnuemonia over a matter of several days. Uncle died a week later.
This is all hoopla. If a failed relationship triggered a heart attack death was already knocking on your door for your health to be so weak not to deal with stress. No healthy person will ever die of a broken heart unless they commit suicide.
I feel like it’s happening to me right now. It really does feel like trying to breathe, but with no air. The only thing I can do to keep it out of my mind is to distract myself with meaningless things.
Maybe the term “Falling in love” was originally meant as a warning.
The definition of “falling for” has two meanings…1. To fall in love with…2. To be deceived by.
Interesting, no?
As a professional life coach, I highly recommend those who believe they’ve “fallen in love,” ask themselves, “what else have I fallen for in my life?”
Then again, falling in love is B.S. It’s a Belief System.
Meh, you’ve obviously never been in love. Real love anyway. It’s not possible to “fall in love with someone” meeting them once or twice. This is a totally false, romanticized notion made popular by fictional, realistically empty scenarios meant purely for the enjoyment of gullible individuals desperately seeking SOMETHING to hook their overabundance of rejected hormonal release onto. Believe me. I had sex before I falling in love (incorrectly assuming those butterflies and heart pangs were actual love), and if you were ONLY taking into account the failures, I could possibly HALFWAY agree with your statement. Also, I’d “fallen in love at first sight” about 5 times with no consummation on those feelings, and while I did experience the pangs of not knowing, I got over it in no longer than a few months, which is exactly what any emotionally healthy person does.
I know now (after actually experiencing the feeling of being in love, FOR REAL, for years) that if I lost the one man I’ve been having sex with, and plan on having sex with the rest of my life, I would most likely die of a broken heart. I do not believe I could bear the pain. No one could ever replace what we have together. And THAT is because the love that I have now is not just attraction, it’s the deepest connection and friendship I’ve ever had. And the sex I have now is more than just fooling around that makes my heart skip and my fun parts tickle.
Give it a few years, Meh. Or just stop thinking about what’s going on inside your pants for long enough to actually develop legit feelings for someone..
I died of a broken heart once…didn’t like it one bit and ‘ll never do it again ! : (
My mother died of cancer and four months later my father died in bed of a supposed heart attack. I believe he died of a broken heart. He was completely healthy and only 40. I had never seen two people who loved each other so much. Yes they had their ups and downs but they always worked it out.when my mother died he spoke of the pain of sleeping alone and the agony of not having the woman he slept next to for 20 years. That they wouldnt grow old together and how his heart was broken and would never be whole again. He never could come out if his sadness and 4 months later he was gone to be with my mother again. I only hope to find a love like that.
my heart literally aches any time im not around or not in contact with my lover for a certain period of time. his does too. it’s crazy.
yeah this happened to my grandfather, he had that heart attack the moment he was told that grandmother died, only a day after her death ,, he was 80 and back then couldn’t leave his bed, and she had cancer so she was in the hospital so yeah its sad though , they’ve been married for 66 years :’)
Calming words to read after the death of my husband now three days ago. I can speak about what it’s like .. I want to jump into the urn with him.
I miss you so much Jay, I’ll love you forever.
sad but true.
I am deeply in love with this boy bryce. And of course there is something in the way of us. So we have to wait to be together. It kills me but it has to be done. He is just perfect for me. And even though he has played me in the past, he came back crawling on his knees and I know he is sincere and actually commited this time.
Vern: Heartburn is better than food alone.
This is so true, I fell in love young, had no idea what it was until about eight years later. When the guy found out he freaked, married a woman he had only just met and never spoke to me again.
I was so devastated at the time that I thought I would die, physically I felt awful all the time. I can talk about what happened now, but it still hurts like F to think about him.
I could easily see death by heartbreak. I’ve been heartbroken and seen others go through it too.
i agree with these posts….. i fianlly got to date the person i have been waiting for. she is the most beautiful person in the world she is smart funny and charismatic i enjoy being around her and i just enjoy being with her…..it didnt last tho, i being an inexperienced fool when it came to relationships opened my mouth and said something i shouldnt have…. she had told me something that i didnt know how to even begin to understand (she said she was bisexual). i really like her…. i think i… love her… i sought her out after she had broken it off… it was raining and i saw her walking home… we were completely drenched i stopped her saying she didnt deserve what i had said and that i will try to be a better person for her…. she looked at me with sad eyes and i looked back… she said “i want it to be civil between us but i dont think that it will work” “…goodbye nick”…. she walked away… i was still standing there wondering what the hell was wrong with me… how the hell i was able to screw myself over and lose this person who was special to me…..i still have a broken heart and i still think about her and my mistakes…. and i wonder what if she had given me a second chance….. where would we be today… i miss her….
When i was 15 i met a guy that was 17 and we stayed together for almost 2 years. it was my first real boyfriend and the first guy i had ever done anything with, or had fallen in love with. and when i say fallen in love with i mean… he was always on my mind, i had to see him all the time, he was in my dreams…almost an obsession. but i tryed to not let him know i was that into him and at first he was the same way but eventually he grew annoyed and wanted independence which was very confusuing to me to understand because how can u say u love someone for so long and do it for the first time together and then say like “i love you but im not in love with you” i struggled for about 8 months to keep him with me. i did everything on earth possible. but he still wanted to leave and eventually he broke up with me. it was a manipulation game between me and him.. who was going to text who first or who was going to show more love… during the relationship i experienced bad depression simply because i knew he didnt love me as much i loved him and i didnt see him as much. but when we broke up… i fell into a dark hole and knew i would never see light of love with anyone else again. i couldnt stand the thought of him not loving me, not thinking shit about me, and us never being together again… it was torture… the worst feeling of my life ive ever had… it was worse than death… he took a piece of my heart i didnt think i will ever get back… i can remember myself always staring at my phone praying to god he would call me and say he would love me and missed me. i used to stuff my face in my pillow and scream my face off into it and all of my tears and life away. and i had no answers… nothing to sew up the wound… just neverending burning.. now today a year later from the breakup i have figured out that he was definately not my type and that we werent meant to be and i now have a new boyfriend that i love sooo much and treats me amazing something better than what i had with my ex. but i feel like my ex took a piece of me… the pice that made me want to love someone and do everything i can to make them happy away from me. it sucks because i feel like i cant give my current bf what i gave to my ex. and my ex didnt even love me. he didnt know how lucky he was to have someone on there knees pleading and so deeply in love. he had me there i wouildve done ANYTHING for him! my ex ruined me. he took the side away from me of love. he made me forget how to love someone. i hope one day i will be fixed and i can put all of my heart out to my current bf. i hope i can find how to love someone more than i ever did to my ex. i pray everyday i can… 6 months after our breakup i still had dreams about my ex, it was one of him crying he said i miss u not i want u back but just i miss u i love u baby! it made me cry to. now one year later after breakup i dont have any dreams i feel ok but i still feel like a part of me is missing. its sad cause i only 17 and i should feel 100% alive but idk it sucks.
Hanging On for Dear Life
by Jessie Meredith
For us with disabilities, like me I have bipolar depression
love can be especially heart rending. We are over-emotional, have trouble discerning things, and up and then very, very down. So, for me, relationships add to my insanity. I just don’t know “what’s normal” when it comes to a relationship. I get caught up in a whirlwind in the beginning…can’t think of nothing but them, go out of my way will do anything for them. Cook and clean and even change my personality to please them. I drive myself crazy!!!! LOL So, I have been through 3 divorces and I also had a handicapped son that his own Father had no patience with. We found out at 14 he had muscular dystrophy yet we were divorced since my son was 2. My second husband was Indian and I had two children by him. My third husband was bisexual and left me for a man. At 53, I want to find real love because I raised my children alone for 17 years, my oldest is 24 now and my daughter about to turn 21. I left my husbands because they were either abusive or unfaithful or both. Now I find I’m afraid to love….My parents were married over 30 years in an unloving relationship…where my father was unable to show any real love but was a good provider. He died of a heart attack and my mom committed suicide. It was a bad ending so im afraid to love.
I guess the ending of Star Wars episode three wasn’t so far-fetched after all, eh fanboys?
I’ve experienced this so often that I’ve come to expect that the survivor of a long-married couple to join his or her spouse in death within days or weeks. It’s like they truly are “one flesh” and there is simply no living without the other half.
I remember when i was a kid, my great granddad was in hospital dying of Lung cancer. My great grandma was at his side every morning and through the day till night. He was unfortunately terminally ill and died in hospital, we were all upset but my grandma just stopped, it was like she turned herself off from the world completely. She wouldn’t eat, sleep or take care of herself. Soon her mental state broke down as well she couldn’t remember her own children or family. It was heart breaking it really was. Because i was so young my mum didn’t want us to go through seeing her like that and wanted us to remember her the way she was with our great granddad, always smiling with her biscuit tin…. In a way i’m sad i didn’t get to see her before she died, but i’m glad that i can remember her before my great granddad died and not how she was after. I think she died when my granddad did, she really did, her heart was literally broken and she switched off from everything and couldn’t cope. They were so in love, always looking at each other with such love, silently telling the other they loved them, but didn’t need to repeat the words again, after 60 or so years, words don’t really matter anymore.
sorry, ain’t buying it. I’ve heard of people OCCASSIONALLY dying within a few years or maybe even a few months later. But if you look at the causes of death, you’ll probably find something like ‘heart disease’ or something like that where the cause of death makes sense–unhealthy lifestyle. People who live together usually have the same sedentary or active lifestyles or unhealthy or healthy eating habits–most couples cook for the whole family, not just themselves.
But couples dying within a short time frame of each other is very rare, & statistitians are ALWAYS looking for a few examples to base a whole case around. Just look at the obits in your local paper to see what I’m talking about. How many couples actually DID die within 5 years of each other? I bet you it’s less than 20%. And the ones who did were elderly. And look at the cause of death–that tells A LOT.
This is a fascinating subject and I would like to reply to many aspects, but I will confine myself to one that I feel very strongly.
There is nothing else that I find as sacred as the bond of love. I have never nor will ever nor could ever break that bond. I do understand that it does not have to be that way for everyone. Most who marry cheat. Some of them are very fine people, some perhaps finer people than me.
I have known relationships to fade, change, sicken, etc. I have been forced against my wishes to move on and it may well have been for the best.
If I were to surrender the sacred, I could never get it back. I have had to radically alter my notions of love, but I find that which is given freely is even more satisfying than that given mutually and it is enough for me, abundantly so.
If you feel otherwise, I am in no position to judge, but if you are needing a better answer than you’ve found, you might try mine on for fit.
Oh, BTW, I sold m house to a couple on land contract. The wife died about 7 after of cancer & the husband died 2 years after that–OF SUICIDE. He was a chronic alcoholic & w/o his wife there to maintain some control over his drinking, he drank himself to death.
Now statiticians would LOVE that one.
I don’t believe that at all!
There are many people who are broken hearted that do not die but are merely depressed. We just focus on the few rare cases where couples do die within hours of earch other. Show me a healthy, young person who dies of a broken heart and then I will believe it.
I think that having a broken heart can be the worst feeling in the world. But I don’t feel like relationships always end this way. Keep trying and hopefully you will find the right person, fall in love, and never have to deal with them cheating on you or asking for a divorce. All a marriage takes is commitment and love. Even if the love goes away, hopefully the commitment to the relationship will help see it through. Hope I helped somebody:)
I can not tell you since I’ve never fallen in love.
I’ve liked girls but destiny always made it difficult, so I’m still trying to have that sensation everyone keeps talking about
I was with someone for 4 years (we going through divorce right now). From the 1st day we decided to be together I have thought about her all day long, every day (even now). I have never kissed another woman. I have never had sex with another woman. And until I found out that she was lying to me the entire 4 years we were together, I never wanted to kiss/have sex with another woman. I wanted to grow old with her. A part of me still does. But she told me she wanted a divorce a month AFTER she moved on to another man. I am deeply hurt by the way she treated me, and the way she ended our relationship. Even if she didn’t really love me, I loved her with everything I am. I sacrificed everything for her (more than I should have).
Love is the greatest thing you can experience in this life, however. To live life in fear of the outcome of love is a waste of life. Love doesn’t have to involve sex. Love can be between any 2 people. If you want to love someone, then love them. Not harrass. Love does not require compensation. Love is hopeful, not demanding. Love is faithful and selfLESS not selfISH.
For a month after my wife said she wanted a divorce, I planned ways to make her feel loved (not knowing she had already moved on). For the 4 years we were together, I told her “I love you” & “you are beautiful” every day. I hand wrote love notes every so often, to make her feel special. So I set the bar pretty high.
But I had planned to take up gardening and grow her favorite flowers, so I would be able to surprise her with them for a long time. I had planned to learn origami, then write love notes in them, and give them to her every so often. I even gave 24 love notes that were folded in to hearts. I was willing to continue to sow her love even after she stopped showing me love.
I regret being with her. I wish I had loved someone capable of real love. But I will not stop loving people. I wish I could stop loving her, but I still want her to be happy. I don’t like the fact that will NEVER stop loving her, but it’s true. I will always love her. Even though I won’t be with her ever again, I will always love her. That’s what love is. Eternal. If it’s real, it won’t end. That’s why death doesn’t separate some people for long. Because of the tremendous amount of love.
I only loved her for 4 years, and found it hard to want to live, without her. Imagine what it would be like after 30+ years, the person you love more and more every day, is suddenly not there anymore. You would miss them, and love them to death.
I know this feeling well right now, it hurts in the most frustrating ways, you cant even imagine it unless you have gone through it. When you have been with someone you know your in love with for so long and everything you feel for them is not in there hearts anymore, its unbearable. Every emotion doesn’t know how to react in my body right now. My brain is unreasonable, my hearts pounding through my shirt, I’m scared , I’m angry, Adrenalins takes over, all at once my whole life felt gone. By far i would rather feel any physical pain over this reaction from a broken heart. Im dealing with it the only way i can and that’s by imagining whats ahead for me.
After thinking about not having my boyfriend in my life, the ache that was in my heart, I know I couldn’t live without him. I know he feels the same. I’ve gone through depression for a while, but he makes me so happy. I didn’t know if was even possible to feel this way about another person. I always thought love was something for other people and I’d always be stuck with the heartache of being cheated on or played. Sometimes I try and imagine what it would be like without him but I can’t seem to keep that thought in my head as I know I won’t be without him. I’ve never smiled so much in my life.
As for this, I believe that when the day comes (if he goes first) I will surely go not long after.
I believe it, though I think a broken heart is more the cause and what leads to death is the effect.
I had a terrible breakup a couple years past. My first real love. Wanted to marry him, be with him forever, and I’d never connected with a person so well before. We were physically intimate, but never needed to have intercourse (and no were not that young, mid 20′s and it was a concious decision). After a little over a year we ended up breaking up because he started becoming over-protective. I was his first girlfriend, and he had issues sharing me with my friends. Eventually it became too much and I asked for a break. This only made him more posessive, so I had to break up with him. A few weeks later I tried to go back, but he was seeing another girl already. He actually did break up with her to go back out with me, then cheated on me with her, and then broke up with me and went back to her all within 2 weeks. The whole ordeal was a terrible mess, and yes my heart was broken. I lost my appetite, lost all my vigor, spiraled into crippling depression (I would literlaly colapse in misery), and for the first time in my entire life began suffering anxiety attacks. After a couple weeks of literally eating maybe 1 or 2 things a day (thing meaning half a banana, or a smoothie/shake or something similar) I dropped half my body weight and was getting very very sick. It took a really long time to come out of this, and I prayed to God for strength which He gave me. Honestly I credit God and prayer for the reason I’m NOT dead along with the dedication of a few close friends.
Now a couple years later I’m in an even better relationship with a wonderful man, and life couldnt be better! The time after a hard breakup can be devistating, and it wouldnt surprise me if people died from it. I only hope that others have the strength to get through those difficult times.
This whole thing is just g@y.
Only those men who have their head permanently fixed between their legs fall in love.Others enjoy sex and live on till the get bored of it.
It’s true. I like this chick and she hurt my feelings so bad I started getting heart pains when she stressed me out and the doctor said its angina and gave me inderal. Now when I get stressed sometimes my heart hurts no matter whats stressing me out, doesnt have to be a female. I just initially got it from a female breaking my heart.
WOOOW !!!!!!! this just caught my attention and also have heard similar stories as some says its that we end up getting use to the person attachment so when they leave or die it feel limited air has been taken away from if there is anything such as a next life i would want to be a dolphin once they have found their true love thats it until death love this article a million thumbs up
Wow seriously? whoever left the second post needs to stop being a bitter ass. Obviously you are wrong since this phenomenon does happen, so please leave your love-less, bitter butt out of conversations about love because you have never experienced it
There r 3 PEOPLES! i cannot live without… 1-10 friends of mine. 2-pets. 3-my mom… if one 1 or 3 is lost, i will die of depression
that is what’s weird with love. it’ll make you think that impossible may become possible, but at last, it’s still better to just believe in what is probably right
In this new generation, regarding about heartaches,loving, hate,separate,divorce and relationships, No one will be a fools to sacrifice thier lifes unlesss that they get cheated to force themselves commit suicide.
This is true, after my great grandma died my great grandpa followed the very next morning.
All I can say is, love is cyclical and if you can survive the cycle of ups and downs and keep the big picture in sight you can make love last. I also believe in putting marriage before the kids. Keep your marriage strong and your fruits of love and affection will be recognised by your children and produce a united front, which in turns gives your children stability and a model of true commttment. It shows your kids you cannot be divided.
My grandparents on my father’s side were similar. They had been together since middle school, never having gone outside the relationship at all. Of course, they had their ups and downs, especially with having 9 kids to support living in Los Angeles. But, they somehow made it work, something people these days know nothing about (I feel I’m old school and I’m only 28 years old).
Anyway, my gradfather died first of a heart attack – and maybe 2 years later, my grandmother followed by dying in her sleep. They’d been together for over 60 years. I believe that you can die from a broken heart, but it’s so rare and uncommon these days.
My grandparents on my dads side had been together for over 50yrs and had 3 children, unfortunately I never got to meet my grandmother as she died of cancer two days before i was born. However I did know my grand-dad (briefly) and he was always really upset then two years later he died of a heart attack i honestly believe he died of a broken heart.
Sophie.
When I saw this blog and clicked on it, my mind raced with thoughts of the heartache love has brought to my life. Love in every aspect brings heartache, not only between a man and a woman but with a child, or sibling. I wanted to share the continuing heartache and the death I have and do experience I am alive physically but emotionally I dead.
My first heartbreak in life came when I was old enough to realize that the woman who gave birth to me hated me and wished me dead before I was born, I know because she told me every day. I long not only for the words I love you, but the safety and affection every child desires. I was left empty; I never heard the words and never felt the embrace of a mothers love.
I loved my brother, when I looked into his eyes I seen the same heartache and pain I experienced. I tried to console him. My heart ached to see the suffering in his eyes. Then in 1997 he was killed, another piece of my heart died, he took it with him.
I married, when I meet him I felt he needed me and I wanted to be needed to me that was close enough to love. I fell in love with him and thought I would spend a life time with him. He was an alcoholic, and with that addiction there is only heartache. I watched a person I loved literally stay drunk, he was very abusive also. All I wanted was for him to stop. It never happened. After nine years, I left. Lost again, alone and my heart breaking to the point I felt physical pain.
Our daughter was two, the light of my life; I devoted myself to being the mother I never had. I finally had someone who loved me. With her little arms around me I felt I love I had never experienced before. I wanted to create a bond that would never be broken. I put my heart and soul into caring for her, nurturing her, and loving her. I felt I had someone in my life that would always be there for me, and that through her I would have the family, I had always longed for.
She left as soon as she turned eighteen; the bond we shared was as if it never existed. Now this is real heartache, I thought I had experienced pain but nothing compares to this. It has left me lost and depressed.
Six months after she left home, my second husband who I married when she was five announced he wanted a divorce. I was with him a total of sixteen years, I lost him.
Six months earlier I had a home, and family, for the first time in my life I felt complete. The completeness I felt, fell apart and with it came heartache. Heartache so devastating I am dying of a broken heart:(
So with love comes a life time of heartache and pain, nothing is left, really I am already dead. So yes, I think it is possible to die of heartache. The tears I have cried due to heartache could fill an empty ocean, tears run down my face everyday. I wonder when this heartache will finally just rob me of the will to live.
I remember the first time I saw my ex-husband. I was soldier in the army, and I was reporting to the Presidio of Monterey for language school. All of us soliders were excited get going in our new training. Our instructor briefed us, and then said “Meet the three Marines who are going to be in your class.” I turned around and saw him for the first time, and you could have knocked me over with a feather–he was so gorgeous, and so handsome in his uniform. I guess he thought the same of me, because it was not long before we broke the number one rule at the Presidio: “Don’t marry a Marine.” We were stationed together in Hawaii and had our little son there. . .and it was a very volitile and strife-filled relationship. We hung on stubbornly because we did love each other, but we were young and there were so many differences between us, and little time for us to figure things out. I wanted this relationship to work out so badly that after several years, I got out of the army to focus only on our family, which was a HUGE sacrifice for me, and he was commissioned as an officer. We lived together in Japan, and Korea, then came back to the states–and it never got any better. If anything, it got worse with the stress of his job in the military and the long hours and deployments that took him away. I found out about his extra-marital affairs and it killed me, but I forgave him in time. However, trust was lost. . .when he went to Iraq, things fell apart. He told me that he was done with the relationship, and I told him that I was done, too. We had spent ten years trying to work through this, and nothing was resolved. I held my tears and carried on with life alone, as a single parent, and he went on as a bachelor, being free and having fun–he’s had one girlfriend after another. So–you are saying “So what? Lot’s of people get divorced, and for very good reasons.” I am hear to tell you that since we parted, life has never been the same without him, and though I never say it, I miss him deeply every day. It’s like a wound that was infected and subsequently amputated–it’s scarred over and healed, but now part of me is missing. It can’t quite describe it. Too much water has gone under the bridge now, and though we have forgiven one another and are even on friendly terms, there will never be a reconcilliation. (In fact, I am remarried to a very good man, and he has a girlfriend.) But I still dream about him. I’m glad for the time that I had with him, and I’m glad for the boy that we had together. It will always be a scar on my heart.
actually love is something ive lost all hope in coz ppl walk all over me use me and they dont know how to express their feelings and if love is such a big thing then how can it be so hard for a guy to revile what he feels jusr bcoz he thinks its a good idea or no wait then he thinks its a bad one so tell me that love is really that good and you’d be lying to me coz its not all that good if someone cant revile what they feeling then how can they commit so take it from me i think ppl are chasing after something that is the biggest load of crap and if you believe that a guy wont cheat on you the first chance he get well good luck to you my dear men lie cheat and think its ok to do it and dont get me wrong woman arent as innocent in this they give men all their hell just bcoz they can and they know they gonna get away with it this might be my longest comment ever but wen it comes to love there arent enuf word to describe how it can let you down in so many ways im negative towards love and thars my view on things so who ever wants to argue go ahead but face facts wen your 40 and all alone dont wonder why that goes out to woman and men coz at one stage you did something wrong and wen you relize it,it might be to late
Jackie im so sorry to hear everything u have been through. i havnt been through that much but i have had a dose. i hope you find happiness and eventually love with some people in ur life… i kno this sounds reallly stupid or off topic but when i went through a deep depressed stage, my mom brought me home a little white puppy and she has been the love of my life for 7 years now!:) she is very smart and wont leave me alon so i never have time to sit and think about things too much like i used too.. i hope this helps, and to all out there reading this going through a lonely depressed stage in life u should try this too! or just get involved with something to keep ur mind busy and seeing the world and new people!
hope this helps some
i pray that we all find happiness in life!
i feel sorry for meh…you must have been screwed over many times to have that mindset.
Love is actually a decision and not an emotion. It takes years to mature in a couple. What most feel in the beginning is infatuation and desire that draws them together. Those feelings will compel them to commit to each other and out of that commitment love will happen once the relationship matures. The longer that a couple remain together and the more hardships that they endure together the stronger the bond of love becomes so that when one dies the other will most definitely feel the loss and can die of a broken heart from sheer loneliness. Love is not an emotion. Love is not a feeling. Love is a commitment of the deepest kind.
I just recently ended a relationship that only lasted 6 years. Those 6 years were not good one’s either, they were turbulent at times and we had several breakups. She always claimed that she loved me like no other and she was married 2 times before we met. She was actually married when I met her, but that didn’t stop either one of us. I was hoping she would not want to hook up because she was married still. What I did not realize was that this woman had a crush on me years ago. Anyway, we did hook up, she divorced her husband and I was just getting out of a relationship myself. I was not sure if either one of us was truly in love with the other until we were apart or broken up. This last and final breakup was especially tough on me because I really found out how I felt about her which landed me in the hospital almost 4 months after we were done. What hurts me even more is that this woman did not care for me or loved me like she claimed to. She decided a life of crime was more important than our love or our relationship. She started selling drugs and shop-lifting at Walmart where she used to work at. That is so ironic because her job at Walmart was to catch the shop-lifters. I expressed my displeasure at times, we would have fights over what she was doing. She did not care how I felt, she would tell me that we needed the money and she could make the same money at a job in such a short period of time. Besides the police here in Parma are stupid. I did not realize how stupid they are until the love of my life tried to take my life. She tried to run me down with her car in the parking lot at our apartment complex in broad daylight. Several calls were made to 911 all stating that a crazy white woman was running her boyfriend over repeatedly. The police showed up in full force expecting to find my dead body. Someone drug my body out of harms way when they seen her stop circling around me in the car. 26 or more policemen, 2 fire trucks, 3 ambulances showed up on that night, November 7, 2011. God must have plans for me, he kept me alive not only that night but for the next 7 days I stayed with her at our apartment. I was asleep 14-16 hours a day and was not fed any food for 4 days.She knew I had hit my head pretty hard because I went flying through the air about 30 feet, landed on my chest then my face hit the concrete. After about 40 minutes I emerged from another apartment building, the police could not find me. They did not look inside any of the 4 apartment buildings at our comlex. I could barely stand up on my own. The police looked me over and could not find any wounds or tire tracks, but they did not have any paramedics check me out. Her son told them I was drunk, I was not with him and hant seen him all day. To top it off the police at one point were following him for suspicion of drug trafficing, he helped his mom get going with her drug sales. The police took his word for it, I went to bed not the hospital. The police overlooked a large rip in my shirt and road rash on my right side along with some blood. they let her go. After all that, I was begging for forgiveness from her because she found out I was going to leave her because she would not stop selling drugs and stealing from Walmart. Which is why she felt the need to try and take me out of the picture, so I could not tell the police anything of what she was doing. She also felt the need to punish and torture me mentally and verbally until I got fed up and almost snapped. Instead of doing something drastic, I just left. Just before Valentine’s Day I got on a plane and was gone. Here it is April and I miss her so badly even though she tried to end my life. Just 2 weeks ago I ended up in the hospital because my blood pressure reached 165/110. When getting admitted they kept asking me if I was having chest pains because the thought I was having a heart attack. I still have battles with depression over us not being together. Dreams of us, mostly bad dreams which is odd because I can remember 2 or 3 dreams a year. My dreams of us are happening nightly. I just felt like my heart had no strength because I was thinking of her and how much I miss her. I know you’re thinking there is something wrong with me for going through all that and feel that way. Well, I guess I loved her. There is alot of detail I left out also of how she treated me, all the crap she got away with. I’m better now, still trying to deal with what happened. I’m actually being diagnosed with p.t.s.d. as well as a heart condition. Maybe someday I will find someone who will truly love me instead of an Evil Angel.
we cant live without loving someone .ok
‘After you’ve had sex with someone, they start farting around you’
first of all, ROTFLMAO!
and second, no i don’t think that’s everyone. most people i know became even more embarrassed with each other after they’d had sex.
thirdly, what’s being discussed here is a form of depression. sometimes it leads to a heart attack because of old age and high blood pressure that results from the shock. and it’s completely okay to romanticize that with the ‘broken heart’ term. although may i point out here that technically a heart can’t break; it can only ‘burst’–and that too, means getting ruptured in a tiny spot. That thing’s an amazingly tough little muscle.
reason #52 for keeping distance in this era of doomed relationships and destructive stress.
On a more serious note:Judging from what i read here, i beleive it has more to do with age rather than love, thought it is still part of it. You get your heart broken at 20-40, your pretty much just going to be depressed, it can’t be so severe that you get a heart attack. Only chance of that happening are those with heart conditions paired with over dramatic emotion. Above that age your heart gets weaker and emotion becomes more dangerous for your health, ergo possible heart attack, ergo literally dying from a broken heart.
This information is a bit more accurate if “dying from a broken heart” is metaphorical, or a matter of expression.
Not trying to be a sour party-pooper here, but tbh I don’t think someone dies out of a heart break itself. These are things that affect your physiological function, sure, but so are many other big impacts in life. Anything depressing that could happen to you can have a similar effect. You don’t die because your heart broke; you die because you’re suffering – and this suffering happens to be because you were in love. A person who suffers a great impact of any other degree might be affected the same way. If I lost 10 million dollars, I could die out of a heart-attack… just as if my husband would die.
My grandparents were married for a long time. Then, my grandfather died. It was very unexpected and my grandmother mourned for awhile. Now she appears to be done mourning, but I really believe she still suffers from post traumatic stress. Or something. I wish he were still here so she wouldn’t be so cranky all the time. But I still love her.
I don’t think it’s something we can chose to believe or not believe. It is a very real occurrence known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy (a.k.a. broken-heart syndrome). A loved one dies, and the anxiety that follows from the sadness of the loss or the stress of not knowing how to go on weakens the muscle of the heart, and leads to heart failure and heart attacks and such.
Of course you can’t die just from a broken heart. That’s stupid. But heartbreak can trigger a plethora of mental disorders from depression to PTSD if the death was particularly traumatic, and mental disorders have been proven to have negative effects on health sometimes. There’s also a matter of stress and anxiety. These things greatly increase health problems. In addition, grieving causes people to wallow and become more sedentary. So no, heartbreak itself won’t kill you, but it can easily steer you in that direction, especially if you already have medical problems.
I almost did die of a broken heart. My late husband died of cancer, and I watched him die. Most of the heartbreaking part came before he died – watching the suffering and fading away, the collapse of his body but never his spirit.
My children watched me watch him, and they were worried that I planned to go with him. They didn’t know that he and I had talked about how I would go on after he died, how he wanted me to get on with life, to find someone else to love and to love me, to travel because the only way he would get to go to the places he had wanted to see would be for me to do it for him.
The heartbreaking moments happened every day during the last 18 months of his life because every time we did something we wondered if it would be the last time. I couldn’t give in to any of the heartbreak until after he died, and then the effects of the stress and sadness of the months that it took for him to die showed in my body and in my face and in my life. I had to fight my way back to health and happiness, and that fight is actually still going on. If we had not talked about me going on for his sake as well as my own, I might not have had the strength to overcome the issues I faced myself after he was gone. My heart might have literally broken and stopped.
Love that is that deep is a very special love. I don’t ever expect to experience it again, and I certainly hadn’t experienced it before. We were together less than four years, but they were four years that I would not give up for anything. He was my soul mate and best friend and I will never forget him. It’s been more than five years now since he died, and the heartbreak is no longer as raw, and I can think of him and smile, and I can get on with life with a new husband who loves me and I love him, but David will always be part of me.
I believe people do need love in their life. Although its not easy to find i never a boyfriend in my life. Im a really sweet person, sensitive but at same time im really hard is the hurt sometimes that i have inside. I always fall for jehovah witness im catholic but been following a christian church i like it a lot. I hate it that everytime i fall for jehovah witness since thats how i was with my frnd jose he meant everything to me. He was everything i wanted in a guy but he didnt love me and it hurt so much to love him and had to let him go. We were friends and return with his girlfriend i feel he was the only guy i really love since the way he was with me until his gf came back. I feel my life nothing ever goes right especially not love. I always wanted to get married but i dont see it happening. All i want now is to be a teacher that what i live for.
part of the reason is, living with someone else permanently erases the need to plan what you will be doing basically after 5PM each day – its just like autopilot.
For your spouse to leave you through decision or death means a whole new world where decision making is needed and you can’t afford sticking to autopilot opens. It might be stressful
Here’s what I know. I met the love of my life when I was 18 and she was 17. We started dating the next year when she attended the same college I went to. Like most “men” my age….I wasn’t very smart. I said some stupid things and we broke up after 3 years of dating. She met someone else, got pregnant, and got married. Almost 20 years later after a long string of unsuccessful relationships we reconnected. She was divorced, and I had never married. We decided that we should get married. We were making plans to marry. After 6 months she was diagnosed with prostate cancer. The doctors successfully removed the cancer and she died anyway. That was 3 years ago Feb. 12….not a day goes by that I don’t wake up wishing I was dead with her….
lol can you die of broken heart from loving a celebrity soooo much?! (i bet u can)
Hi I just read your blog, and I agree. Some of the comments are from people that have witnessed this very thing. My grandfather (on my mother’s side) died some time ago, his wife died the next year. They had been married over 60 years, not always got along well, but they were “a loving couple” for many of those years. My husband and I were friends, for a couple of years, before we thought about getting married. I think this may be the reason we have been married for so long…33 years, this year !! I can’t imagine myself being with anyone but him, and he acts (and tells me) that he feels the same. Sure times haven’ t been easy for us, but we’re a team. And we’ve managed to get through, together.
I’ve never been through marriage. I’m currently 17 years old as of this post and I’ve been single for about six years. I have been through bereavement for those past near-six years which ultimately led up to myself being single and distant from others on a relationship-wise level. I’ve known her since I was six and practically grew up with her, falling in love with her around the time we were both 11, yet I did not ask her out until I was 12.
It was a bittersweet “official” relationship, only lasting three months until her accidental death at the hands of a drunk who decided to take a drive one night. She never got to enjoy the lasting benefits of life nor had a chance to over the poor decision of an adult.
We talked a lot. We bonded a lot. She was my only friend back then when everyone else seemed to be against me. She balanced me out well, and I don’t even know how she did it. She lived her life caring for others and giving people something to be happy about, and hardly had the chance to live for herself.
And I know it sounds like I’m glorifying her a bit too much. I know she had flaws, but due to her short lifespan, she had zero-chance of making a major flaw. She made little lies, little mistakes here and there, but they are far from the problems of which adults make these days, even myself though I’m a young adult.
I always told her that I’d marry her. We often talked about marriage when we could the last few months we had together. And I would’ve married her if she were still here, today. She was everything in a girl I was looking for, and I didn’t even realize that until I lost her.
I was given both her diary and her ashes by her parents a year after her death. They wanted to start over and begin again together by bringing a new child in the world, so they moved away as a result. I don’t know why they did not stay nor will it bother me. What I wonder about, even to this day, would be how they could trust me with, not only their daughter’s privacy, but even the very ashes that used to be her. And it just blows my mind how they could trust me, I don’t ever think I would’ve done that if that were my daughter. But they did, and I can never, ever thank them enough. Not just for what they have given me that day, but for giving me the chance to meet such a beautiful person. If anything, when I get old and weak, I can look back and say that I’ve met the greatest person in my entire life.
Last summer, I had her ashes scattered in Osaka, Japan. That’s where she wanted to be, and that’s where we “wanted” to be married.I know it’s silly, but I felt so happy to do this for her. It was bittersweet to go there to scatter her and seek closure, rather than marrying her.
I also burned her diary near-by our “special” spot we’d always run to. That’s where the majority of our memories lie, so I thought I should let her diary burn there.
The only things I have left of her are old photos and videos, and I’m never going to let go of them. But I will move on from that past and continue my life.
But I will not seek another lover. Early as it may be, I just cannot see myself with anyone else after her. And after I got used to the idea of being alone, I became happier. I still have friends that I’ve gotten along the way, and I’m still gaining some today, and that’s all I really want.
My childhood best-friend/girlfriend has shaped my life greatly. Everything about her, the way she handled things and acted, it just rubbed off on me. I’m never going to be perfect, she wasn’t perfect. I’m never going to be like her completely, either, but at least I’m trying.
It still hurts that she isn’t here, today. I hate waking up each morning knowing that I can’t hold her, kiss her, talk to her, or even tell her good morning. The same goes at night, when I can’t tell her how excited I am to see her again the next day.
But life is life, and there’s no way around it. While the memories of her become a pain for me, the way she was becomes what heals me, and helps me live on each day.
Just like her, I want to help people and make them feel better. I know I cannot do it as best as she, but I can always try placing others before myself. As hypocritical as I sound, I’d love to grow up as someone who helps people in some form or another, even if I can’t truly help myself.
But I’ve learned to live with this separation, and while it may be horrific at best, it also makes me stronger.
But anyway, due to my age, I guess I can offer something by being here, today. I do not know if the stress I’ve kept, and continue to keep, of losing her will be the end of me in the long run; but even if it is, it can’t be any worse than the day I realized she was gone. Not that I’m suicidal or anything, but to “get over here or else you will die of a broken heart” isn’t really realistic in my view, not after everything we’ve been through together.
Sorry for the long post to anyone who is reading. I hardly write such long posts unless something really captivates me to such.
I think this happens with pets and children as well.
As a Police Officer of 30 years service I will not forget the married couple where I attended the in home death of the wife. They were married over 60 years and both in their 80′s. He was very despondent but calm and kind of matter of fact about her death. I did all that I could by notifying his family and his Minster. Her furneral was held fours days after her death. Three days after the services for her I was again called into the home because of his death. The Coroner could not find any physical reason for the gentlemans death. We both concured that after 60 years of marriage he died of a broken heart.
A broken heart (or heartbreak) is a common metaphor used to describe the intense emotional pain or suffering one feels after losing a loved one, whether through death, divorce, breakup, physical separation, or romantic rejection.
I believe that when your reason for living dies there is nothing for you to live for. I have been married to the same woman for 32 years and this very thought pains me. No matter who goes first