To Be or Not to Be?
Here on Yahoo! Answers we get lots of questions about what makes a person attractive. Is it physical beauty, personality, common interests, or money? What makes us approach others is physical attraction, but what makes us like and eventually fall in love is confidence.
So what does being confident mean? What does it feel and look like? According to merriam-webster.com self confidence is “confidence in oneself and in one’s powers and abilities” or in simple terms you are fine to be who you really are, without shame or embarrassment.
Fear and rejection are one of the many reasons many people lack confidence. But being confident is not synonymous for perfection. Instead, it’s about loving yourself, not being afraid of rejection, accepting your flaws, but working on improving them, and not relying on others to determine your self worth. People that come across as confident know what they want in terms of goals, relationships and life, and this in turn projects, strength, courage, security, intelligence and maturity. It’s the opposite of neediness, clinginess, insecurity and attention seeking behavior. The former qualities are alluring and intriguing, it eases and gives us comfort because the person isn’t seeking validation, she or he is whole, and will handle the ups and downs of a relationship.
In order to have confidence you have to have a solid sense of who you are. In other words you see the real person, but that doesn’t mean you tell everything about yourself at once – the opposite in fact, there is no rush. Real love can be cherished and maintained when you can open your heart and not be judged, but accepted with an equally open heart.
So, how do you discover your true self? What prevents you from being yourself? Do you ever find yourself pretending to be someone else in your professional and personal relationships? And why do you think confidence is so attractive?? Please leave a comment below.
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Confidence is sexy in people because there’s a certain aura that surrounds them that makes you want to get to them. Their body language is open, their speech is direct, and their actions show their character and strength. Who doesn’t want to be with someone like that?
My comment is for Natasha’s comment about confidence.
Confidence is not sexy in narcissists, abusers, and such. It is sexy in normal people. Have you noticed how confident are the personality types I just named? Confidence is their essence. It is an essence of those both distorted types of personalities.
I wish to all never have to deal with those unpleasant types full of themselves.
Yes, confident is very important to us. to avoid fear.
To Ira: there’s a difference between confidence and arrogance. Narcissism is a delusion of grandeur confidence is not about being delusional.
Granted that self-confidence is an extremely necessary and desirable trait in every human; however, all that glitters is not gold. A great many people who habitually project great self-confidence are actually overcompensating for a severe lack of it. This overcompensating often takes the form of arrogance, or even hubris, thus deceiving others who often interpret these excesses as genuine self-confidence.
As someone once said: “There is no such thing as a true ‘superiority complex,’ there is only subconscious overcompensation for a true ‘inferiority complex.;”
Women are particularly drawn to a man who seems to project self-confidence, or what they both believe to be self-confidence. In time however, a great many of these women eventually discover to their dismay that it was really only a facade that hid his extreme insecurity and total lack of true self-confidence.