Yahoo! Answers hits the streets: Episode 15
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You’re out in a public place and you accidently let one out. Yep, you just farted. What do you do? Do you admit it? Do you run away? Watch some of the responses below and see if you’d do the same thing.
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Question: How do you cover up a fart in public?
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If you’re on your own, it’s a little sneaky, but you say, “I’m sorry, but what’s your name again?” When he is shocked and says “Dave,” you say straight back to him, “Silly — of course I knew your name was Dave. I meant your SURNAME. Someone I work with thinks he knows you, I mentioned how much of a great guy you were last week.” TADA! Works every time! If you are with a friend then just get them to ask! 
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Usually, I try my best to drown it out by talking. If your in a silent place, look around and, act like it wasn’t you.
I like this blog site.
Excuse me… thats me
any problem.
That will be my answer
my friends and I say stupid duck when we fart.
If i were to cover up a fart i would probably act like nothing happened or i would change the subject, i would be like “What? Hm? I don’t smell anything? Anyways do you remember yesterday? Yeah good times, good times.”
i normally fart in a crowd so no one can pinpoint you out, or if the dog is around i blame it. I’ll never admit it never!
Geez… I don’t know if it’s because I’m in public, and more aware of the smell…? But, they’re always, always, always STINK BOMBS…silent, but deadly.
I either walk away real fast, or look confused, while sniffin’ the air [uck], lookin’ for the culprit that dropped that stink bomb…
….because girls don’t fart =)
Trisha, girls don’t fart? Is there any scientific proof for that?
You release silencers- Deadly things. And why should we cover up farts in public if people are allowed to smoke in public?
Well, first, you get near a group of friends. Then, you casually talk like you don’t have to fart. While you are standing there and talking to the friends, let it rip near the mostly accused of farting. After someone smells it, play along like you didn’t do it and just caught a whiff of the fart also. Move away from the area at the pace of your friends. If your accused, say that you didn’t do it very firmly, or they will know that it was you. If the procedure is carried out properly, then problem solved.
This is the best way to disguise farts, guaranteed!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VHaTtgZ-lmY
@Agent Smith – Thanks for sharing the link. We watched and indeed made us laugh!!
Move out of the area fast.
normally when i fart in my house i blame it on the dog, out in public I try to find the worst smelling person around and say it was them.
Well here are some tips:
1. Try talking loud enough so people would get over it.
2. If you were sitting down, and that happened(if it is possible that it sounded like the chair screeched) say it was the chair.
3. Try pretending that nothing even happened, and when the smell comes, just pretend you just smelled it,and play along with your friends reactions.
4. Try making your friends distracted really helps.
5. Look like your doing something,and make sure you look like you didn’t realize anything.( a.k.a. Just pretend you’re texting with your phone, if you were walking a dog while that happened(?!), focus on your dog )
6. Walk away to make sure you’re not recognized as the person who farted
7. Try talking really fast when you did fart to get the other person focused on your talk, and not on the sound, and later, the smell.
8. Just admit it, and get it over with. Really, it’s no biggie. Everyone farts.
.
Just look around with a disgusted face, and when someone looks at you with most likely a disgusted face just shake your head, blaming them possibly, then continue to look around like you’re looking for a culprit.
If you need to fart and you are talking to someone, you go ” Did he really SAAAAAYYYY that!?”, you raise your voice. When its quiet you take something and ‘accidentally’ drop it or if its a binder then you open it or when you zip things up you can just do it loud and fast. Works every time.
If I feel a gas bomb coming up I try and hold it and head to the nearest rest room to let it out. If that is difficult or not possible then I let it leak slowly and without too much sound. This maybe difficult in quiet places since even purrs can sound loud and hope the shtink doesn’t give you away. The inadvertently loud ones that catch you and those around you off guard have to unfortunately be admitted to mostly sheepishly, no escaping that.
I blame it on my 1 year old son.
Just let it go. Everyone farts. The louder the better. Just hope that it is not a hershey squirt. Everyone will look shocked when it happens, but later when there is noone around, they will all have a good laugh. Lets face it, farts are funny.
The best thing to do is to fix a steely glare on some bystander and scowl disapprovingly.
I would just focus on making it as low and almost quiet as possible(often times it does not work) I usually have more success at my work with the machines running LOL
But of course if it is a facemelter that smells like rotten eggs then I creep away like a ninja and let it linger LMAO
lol the guy with the white shirt was HOTTTTTT =D
I just laugh, it is after all a natural bodily function. I think farts are funny!!
I enjoy crop dusting in the office. It leaves the secretaries confused about who did it.
ahah when i fart in public i always back away from that spot and say:”OH MY GOD EEW somebody farted it stinks there” and blame it on somebody else. Or if i want to cover up the noise, i would cough really loud and sneeze.
the way i cover my fart is that i let one out when its in a really loud place, for example… a concert or walmart. but if its in a quiet place and i cant hold it in i let it out slowly hoping it is not too loud. Then i quickly walk somewhere else hoping the person next to me gets blamed for it. }=) ~ perfectly evil. I get lucky if its one of those silent but deadly ones… unless its really deadly! lol
I usually fake a sneeze, or blame hard wood floors for “creaking”.
haha how I love my floors
I freaking fart all the time in public and I’m proud of it.
i now realize farts are funny. dont miss a good laugh-even at your expense- you still come out ahead
If you accidently fart in public and everyone is staring at you because they KNOW, then just look up sheepishly and…RUN! Run like hell and never look back! Change your name and move far away where no one knows you and technology is limited, (because most likely someone caught the whole thing on video on their phone and it’s all over You Tube by now) and start a new life free from shame. It’s just that easy.
I usually cough lightly a couple times, making it seem like I’m just coughing, then I let one hard, loud, cough out and fart, this usually covers the sound, then I act like nothing happened. Nobody has ever questioned me, or thought it was me.
If anybody looks at me inquisitively ,I would just say ” Sorry, I am too old to help it”
I start coughing immediately and say excuse me if someone is near me. Then walk away.
I simply don’t.
Have a little control over yourselves, people.
just cough loudly at that time
It’s easier if you’re with someone – then you can just look at them in horror like they did it.
Used to play those games but now I own it! Even better, I taught my wife to own it. too. She was mortified if one slipped in public. As a meand of teaching her, I modified the old Chevy Chase mantra from Caddyshack and told her to “Be the asshole…”
Do it an laugh, its so funny when it happens it would be a shame to lose the humor.
Its like God was being funny when he gave us gas!LOL
There is no way to cover-up a shart
I will like pull in my chair so that people think the sound came from a squeaky chair!
it isn’t the fart itself just the aftermath the terrible smell
and how long it stays around some can last longer than 30 minutes,so the next person that walks by will be walking into the danger zone,the silent ones usually
are let loose at public gathering,depends on which way the wind is blowing that group section will catch it,the hold of the nose,fowl language,walk aways,so if you in a public place alone walk away from it ,around people expect the laughter and the shame if a loudmouth in the bunch expect more shame
If it’s a silent fart I just stay quiet, and if someone notices, I hold my nose and act like it was actually someone else who farted.
If it was a loud fart, I just look around with everyone else and hope they find a new victim
First i wait for someone else to smell it and go “Eww who farted” then i just say “oh i can’t smell it i have a blocked nose” or something like that and it always looks like it wasn’t you. ;-D
First i wait for someone else to smell it then they say something like “Eww who farted” then i just say “oh i can’t smell it i have a blocked nose” or something like that and it always looks like it wasn’t you. ;-D
I try very, very strongly not to that EVER happen!
I glance at the guy upwind of me and frown, making sure the people downwind of me notice what I am doing.
damnn i wouldd justt tryy to actt normall/lett it outt liddoo byy lidoo andd if theyy loook at youu andd aree likee “Ewww” thenn be like like if youu neverr hadd to go throughh thiss.. tell themm the truthh no one should be emmbarrasedd of having too Farttt. itss normall
there is on solution to cover you fart from public, move away from other till the smell go away. and if you are a girl with a skirt, move you skirt rapidly to clear the smell
It depends if anyone heard it…….And if someone pointed it out I would say “He who smelt it dealt it!” or just laugh about it and point out that even the Queen farts!
Wow, that drain small awful we should call the city so they can fix it. =]
It’s funny how many people try to play it off as if they didn’t do it … okay, so do I.
Who wants to have to say, “Excuse me!” for a fart! So, I’ll pray that it’s a silent one , then I’ll take an innocent step or so in a different direction. By the time someone else smells it, I can say at first, “I don’t smell it…. uh … OHHHHHHH NOW I do!” Without my saying a word, someone else always ends up accused!
“best fried frogs I ever had.”
Blame it on someone else or if no1 sees dont memtion anything…. ( pretend it nvr happend)
In all honesty, its not anything that I care to even think about until/unless it were to actually happen. Until then, I wont know.
Life on life’s terms? Whatcha gonna do? hehehe
I suppose it will center around the environment Im in at that time. Im sure that I would be somewhat embarassed, and probably laugh at myself hopeing they will chuckle at it too. I think its somewhat embarassing for them as well…not knowing what to say either
I almost always claim them. But some of my covert methods include silent release and coughing. The key to silent release is a very gentle and gradual breaking of “the seal”, too much too fast and there will be the violent flapping of the tissue which causes the trademark “fart noise”. You must be relaxed however, or you will emit the high squeak of gas under pressure let out a very tight hole.
The second method, cough-farting, is more difficult than it seems at first, since it requires separation of the two operations. If you fart with the same violent contraction of the abdominal muscles as you are coughing, there is no guarantee your cough will be loud enough to cover up your fart. The trick is to cough loudly but to still maintain a fairly quiet fart.
If I am in a crowded place,i think no one will be noticing it.If its less crowded and someones near to you,I’ll be acting like smelling something horrible and asking to the one nearby”Was that you???” or like “damn,you should be responsible for global warming” or like” shooo,shoo,go away,let oxygen enter here”
and btw good question!
Simple… Just turn up the volume on the radio! Duh!!
Well I can always hold it in till i get home or in a bathroom… I always bring body spray in the bathroom to cover it up if i do…
Ive never done it in public before, but if i did I would try zip up my purse really loud to cover it or say “gross, I think that person farted” point to that person and look disgusted and cover my nose
i actually sneeze farted during a test in chemistry one day and just laughed and since im in high school most the people just laughed to but it was by far the most embarassing thing ever :/
Ususally I go in a dense group of ppl n wait until someone else smells something. thn i jus blame it on someone next to me. if its loud thn i wood just say it was my sneaker. if ur outside u have nothin to worry about.
I do it when there’s enough noise to cover it up, then walk away.
i usually take a fart n run away
lmfao
well that was really stupid.
farting is gross and disgusting.
I’d just laugh and say ‘OH MY GOSH, WHO LET THAT STINKY THING!’
Okay, my solution is a simple one. When I feel one coming on that I think will be noisy, I set the tone with a couple small coughs as if clearing my throat, then timing is crucial, I simultaneously cough and fart as loud as needed. The only flaw in this is my kids know the fake pre fart cough and start laughing while getting away from me thus causing a bit of a scene which then requires expert timing to pull it off. But I’m usually undetected 99% of the time without those darn kids!
i carry around a very small spray bottle of febreeze. you just never know when a meal will back fire. anti gas pills are not fool proof, so i always like to have a back up plan. no pun intended.
seriously,
Normally it’s not me. It’s my hubby. We were in Kmart one time and he let a huge one go in a very quiet moment. We thought we were alone until a snobby looking blonde came around the corner and she gave him the funniest look I’ve ever seen. It was kind of like a elvis snarl and she was looking him up and down completely discusted. The only thing we could do is laugh! It’s sad but it’s one of our favorite stories and it always makes us bust out laughing.
I don’t I just let it rip, and treat it as though it never took place. Its only a fart.
I try to let it out as loud as i can, humour makes people forget faster..
I mean, I usually either (when I feel them coming on) force them out at home before going home, or try to go to the bathroom during class.
What sucks is when you just tried to fart in the bathroom but they refused to come out, and so you’re stuck in the classroom with a full load!
GOODDDDDD TIP: When in a quiet room such as a classroom, make sure you have a friend to talk to if you’re gassy, because I noticed that when I have a friend to engage in conversation with, I forget all about the farts in my tummy, but when i have no friends, i focus completely on it actually making it worse!
I make a disgusted face and run out coughing and hacking and making a big deal out of it helped by the fact they would asume it wasn’t me because if I farted I wold try to hid it.
Usually in public, no one notices. Just keep walking around and pretend nothing happened, and people won’t even notice.
i dont have shame…i just let go and release….call of nature
I either make a disgusted face and look at everyone else, or I just ignore it and hope everyone else does to, if someone asks what stinks I just say I have no idea and go back to the conversation.
Personally though, I don’t think it’s anything to be embarrased about, I mean yah, it stinks but everybody does it at some point or another.
If it were silent, I wouldn’t say anything.
If it were loud, I’d just pretend like I didn’t hear anything and just pretend to get on my phone LOL
OH WAIT! Actually I have farted in public before! In my science class during a test! Yea, worst timing…EVER! And everyone knew it was me. The guy across me, the type who is loud and he’s actually the one that farts out loud, had even pointed it out making me even more embarrassed and even worse my teacher was trying to defend me naming me all the persons in the class it could have been. Then I had tried to play it off with my chair and the same guy said aloud, “Don’t try to play it off.” It was one of the most embarrassing moments of my entire life. Oh yea, and he went around telling the whole school. Even my crush knew about it.
females fart more often than the average male does.
If I didn’t have time to drowned the sound out with cellphone music, I would say,
“We can do this the hard way or the easy way. We can sit around and make an anecdote of that fart, or we can crack a window.”
Or,
“I don’t mean to toot my own horn, but I’m an excellent dancer.” *does a moonwalk away from the contaminated area*
I’m 63 years young. As long as there’s no moisture with my farts, I’m happy.
i’ll just pretend it was sb else and busy texting *straight face*
I try to get next to an old person and then let one rip. People blame it on the old person and the blamed is not sure whether they are guilty or not. That or just blame it on my wife.
I will ignore
What’s a fart? I’ve never farted in my entire life!
I just turn around and give the person behind me a dirty look
LOLZ! Well, it happens to the best of us, shameful as it is, so when it does, just heave a sigh of relief and say “Oh wow, that OTC laxative really works! You should try it when u get indigestion. Say, u know where the nearest dumpster is?” and take that graceful exit.
Sometimes you can’t cover it up and just have to face the embarassment of the moment I’m sorry to say…LOL!
It never happens in the first place you take a Gas-X.
Depending on situation, there are different ways some of the followings should be used:
1.If there is the smell of it, try removing it without the others realize
2.Stare at the others’ eyes pretend that u think it was theirs
3.Keep calm, this is the main thing to do and all ur next actions is related to ur calmness
4.Talk about the news and weather
5. If possible, leave that place
I would simply close my nose– start moving away from the guy or girl next to me..
I would start blushing, and duck my head a little; and when people ask if I did it, I would start sniggering
I would just let it out slowly and then move out of the area so there will be no sound and no one would suspect it was you.
If you fart just pretend nothing happens. If someone asks if it was you, say no. But don’t make a big deal to cover it up or anything. It’s just a fart, and everybody farts.
If I’m in a public washroom, and my friends are in there as well, I quietly go to a stall, yell “EW!” and pretend there is something gross in the stall. (There always is) Then I flush the toilet, and because they’re loud, I always fart in those 3 seconds, and nobody even knows!
If I’m in a public place like dance, I start smacking my lips together and beat boxing, which makes a sound awfully like farting, while doing that I fart my way through, and nobody even notices! Especially cause my beat boxing sucks!
Humorous…!
I think that now I ha ve enough information and facts about the subject -”how to cover -up a fart in public places”
The technics and methods and procedures are all well-explained.
The trick is to know your audience, your sorroundings, and to recognize what kind of fart you ‘re coming out with.
It’s important to know if it is a ‘silent one ” or a loud one”.
Just make it sure you know the difference.
Now, be prepared because there are ‘ The unexpected ones”!
You’ll be better prepared if you rehearse some of the ” getting-away with” techniques;
ex
make noises with your mouth-like the loud cough or the unexpected sneeze”
Practice making noises with your shoes or sneakers
move-drag chairs or objects againsyt the floor or walls..
Funny !!!
I needed that big loud laugh !
Fart loudly and with pride!
well to hide a fart you must stay calm and relaxed things you know and farts go out like thisphhhhhhht good luck Hiding it
I would make another similar noise such as rubbing my shoes on the floor, moving my chair, scratch something, move your shopping bags again something…move something, or anything depend on what you have available and what is around you That way people will think that it wasn’t a fart, then walk a way to another area.
Use a muffler on your outlet of gases.
Dont worry, it doesn’t smell!!!!
I rarely fart in public, but it has happend and I don’t cover it up… I just laugh at myself.
blame it on someone else and keep smiling the whole time
lol i would smell it and say ahhhhhhh
With all thats floating around in the air today if someone is concerned about where and when I fart they have allot of time on their hands, I’d suggest that they do something a little more constructive with their lives.
Tap your girlfriend of what ever relative on the shoulder and say “That was rude!” No reli’s around, pick out the cutest chick in range..lol.. My son did that to his mother, he ripped one, loud. long and clear the isle. He said “MOTHER HOW RUDE!” when we were shopping.
I can only remember farting in public three times in my entire life. (because I’m SO good at holding it in or waiting until I’m in the restroom). The first time I ever farted in public was in middle school and I was having a conversation with someone but I just got louder and acted like I didn’t hear anything. She didn’t even notice.
The second time, I was riding in the back of a van with my bf. I was laying across the seat, my head in his lap looking up at him, and he was tickling me. All of a sudden I let out a loudish lady fart. My jaw dropped, my face turned red, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Of course my bf was in love with me so he thought it was cute and assured me that there was no need to be embarrassed or awkward about it. But there was NO denying that fart. The mortification was excruciating.
Third time I was sitting next to my mother and some friends on a couch and we were all laughing, and then it got quiet for a moment,…out of the blue I ripped one. It wasn’t that loud, but everyone knew it was me. Thank goodness these were close friends so it wasn’t awkard at all. But sometimes it’s just IMPOSSIBLE to disguise a fart!!
Try not to fart, it causes global warming……we must all try and cork up.
6 billion people farting (methane gass) all day is not good for the enviroment .
Be like Paris Hilton and carry a dog around that you can blame it on!
I stay with my method. It never fail.
Here it is:
Don’t fart in public.
The old saying when I was a kid was, “whoever smelt it, … dealt it” lol. So nobody ever said that they smelled anything because everyone would think that the smeller was the culprit and the smeller would look bad lol.
point the finger at the dog
“Ahhhhh, the fart cover up.” “Poor farts, they need to be heard, they are after all, “the lonely cry of a imprisoned turd.”
I must admit though for some reason, I get really gassy in the library. I find myself running away if I just cracked one off and some one is coming around the corner.
I used to be able to blame my kids when they were to little to defend themselves. Now however, they will have no part of that. If I try to blame them they get real loud in their objections that they did not fart! So it usually turns into a loud laughing,shouting match of “NO , YOU FARTED!” “No, YOU FARTED!” then the whole world knows that someone in our group farted and it was probably me. “But hey, who cares, it is just a little stinker.” hee hee!
Raise my eyebrow, turn my head to look at the other guy near there, and turn my head back
) I think it works
Press my shoes on the floor to make the sound
I fart all of the time and one day I ate three meals with beans. I guess it’s true “Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you TOOT”. My little sis was in her bedroom and she could hear me across the house in my bathroom. It was like the toilet exploded beneath me!
I tend to fart all of the time and one day I ate three meals with beans. I guess it’s true “Beans beans the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you TOOT”. My little sis was in her bedroom and she could hear me across the house in my bathroom. It was like the toilet exploded beneath me!
Haha, I got an email and it was a chick in a bar that had to fart and thought she was listening to the loud music and thought it was safe to fart and it turned out she was listening to her ipod. Haha! It said it was a long one. Happens to people all the time!
cough and stare at the only girl in the group. and if there is more than one girl. stare at the ugly one.
When I fart, I say; “Eurgh who did that?” to make people think it wasnt me. It works!
if its a real doozey i would claim it.and i am a girl
I always farted when somebody was close by.. When I ripped one I’d turn around and say “Well Excuse Me”!! this way other folks would think it was the person behind you… “Sneaky”
Hi
Since I can not control my emotions, I will start laughing (of course because I am shocked)
Have good day
it depends if im with friends and they actually notice ill proudly admit that is was me.
if im with people i dont know so well i usually try to pass if off as a chair scrape or a shoe squeak and hope that they didnt hear it or smell it
if im alone in public i just get away from the area asap
the best part of this post is the ladies facial expression before you hit play
I just pass the gas and try to avoid foods which lead to stinky farts. Unfortunately, I don’t always manage to do that. I generally just admit to it and apologize. Life goes on, and everyone has passed a stinky fart or several at some time in their lives.
Scream something random and funny like ”PORKCHOP SANDWICHES” and everyone will forget I farted and remember how funny that quote is.
I normally warn people because my farts are unholy and leave a path of silent destruction in their wake. It’s only fair. If while playing sports, I’ll run around my victim and trap them in an invisible cloud of noxious gas. That’s always fun.
Best thing to do (at least in my experience) is to just start screaming. Put your hands on both sides of your head and start screaming. You will look insane, but everybody will be so concerned with your screaming that they’ll forget that you farted.
If they don’t fall for it, just punch someone and run away crying.
You savour the smell and hold back the laughing!
Personally I’d just squeeze my butt really really hard to suppress the fart. Once the urge to fart goes away you can slowly relax yourself. Sometimes it will come out anyway but it wont make a noise. In that case just move away quickly before everyone nearby can smell it
.
umm….. act like someone else did it.
My nanna would pull a fart near one of us. Then make a dash for it, and we would be there with the smell, and would try to make it look like we did it. She did it to my mum once and when people walked past they gave my mum funny looks thinking that was her fart smell, lol.
as my close friends know me by now, they would not be standing , no one,would be left standing ,they’d be gagging & puking all over the place , just ask them !!!
in public , i just keep moving along saying what/where/how someone be so vile/repulsive , knowing it was myself … laughing inside , all the way out the door !!! pppffftt ! they will not let me eat beans in there home or outings any more !!! not that i’m proud of it , but ……. gas/shit happens !!
Will you PLEASE take this thing down.
Is it really necessary to be so crude?
Why didn’t your parents teach you any manners?
I’d be like, oh i thought that was you, but i decided to let it go because you’re my friend and i wouldn’t really care if you did something that was human nature.
Then they’d feel all guilty bout trying to call you out.
I was always that kid who got blamed for other people’s farts because everyone else couldn’t ‘man up’ about it. So before you fart please think of people like me…
Hurr hurr, mine are always silent.
And they don’t smell that bad.
Nobody can prove it was me, either!
I claim most of my farts because I was always that kid who got blamed for other people’s farts. My teen years sucked pretty bad because of that. So before you fart please think of people like me…
if im with my friends we like to play a game called doorknob where if someone let one rip, the flatulator needs to say “safety” before anyone around them has a chance to say “doorknob”. if someone beats you to it you need to find and wriggle the nearest doorknob as everyone else is punching you in the arm. on the other hand, if the one who calls doorknob forgets to say “no aftershock”, the flatulator is entitled to knock the doorknobber down and the doorknob aspect of the game is cancelled out, this is when the flatulator fails to say safety, but can use aftershock.
hha yea
I’m about to get kind of detailed, but you keep your arms to your side as you would normally stand, and put your hand on your buttcheek. It can either be really obvious as long as your up against a wall and no one can see your behind, or it can be very sneaky like you’re putting your hand in your pocket. You separate your butt cheeks when you fart to make sure it’s silent. It’s best if you’re walking or off to the side by yourself, and if it’s going to smell, make sure you’re with a large group of people. Since it’s silent, with so many people no one will know who to blame!
1. Act Like it wasn’t you.
2. Admit it.
3. Just joke with the person and like wave it towards them(mean though lol!)
4. Pop the Question “Who cut the cheese?”
5. Act Humiliated.
i let one fly, an go about my business – if confronted, i tell its all cool nothing falln out of my pant leg
When I have to fart in public I pull the S.B.D. (silent but deadly). The technique:
while you’re sitting down spread your cheeks apart as far apart as you can, and then just let it out.
Works all the time, and comes out silently.
When the stink starts settling in, you look around as if you dont know where its coming from, then you give someone a dirty look as if they farted.
This is my technique of hiding a fart in public
dude, I’d go like I put a frog down my pants, deft sound of my frog, hahaha. or go like is that you dude, why you so gross. yea out side the wind will blow away the smells.
i act like someone else did it
I just cough then fart deliberately after the fart. Hey ifind it funny.
Farting is healthy…don’t feel embarrassed by it
I usually act like the fart doesn’t exist. No one ever suspects the ignorant guy.
lolzz this is a funny question.. if someone can hear it, i start to make fartey noises with my mouth so i cover it up
lolz works every time..
love it. all these are women talking lol
xD turn over to the closest person and be like excuse you!
Or look around with a confused face and be like what the hell was that!… did you here that?
haha start beat boxing to blend it in aha!!
just act like you sneezed because if you sneeze and kinds blocking it all kind of weird noises will appear
take a look at her face on the vid LOL
Quote George Carlin : S**t without the mess.
squeeze it and try to make it silent!
You kind of look around and then settle your eyes on another person in the group by looking at there behind and widening you eyes at the same time. be subtle and it usually works from experience…..
Three words…. run. like. hell.
But there are rules…
-Pick an empty aisle with plenty of run space. Don’t go center, go at the end. Easier to duck away.
-Try to make it silent but if you cant control em, cover up with coughing or deliberately drop something large and unbreakable. Timing is essential here.
-Get it ALL out in one go. You dont want to do multiple attacks. Keep it untraceable. One fart per store.. aisles only.
-Dont linger, farts are like baby doggies, if you stay put, they’ll follow you around.
-If you’ve got a heart, let one rip on the fragrance aisle and be ready to spray and run.
-If you’re playing dirty. Wait for an unsuspecting target to approach and let it silently rip when they enter the aisle. Now they can take the fall. You can even revisit the aisle or peek through the nearby aisle to witness your debauchery in action.
Happy Public Farting.
“Ewwww whats that SMELL?”–unsuspecting girl of ’99 after getting pinned with my nacho cheese fart of death.
if it was me and one guy in an elevator, i would rip one out and say “uhhhhhhh it was you”
well when you let one go in public you can just say excuse me but the most funniest thing i ever seen was when my friend bent over and she let one go and she jump up like someone had scared her and screamed FIRE FIRE EVERYBODY OUT!!!!!!!
Just let it out slowly and silently.
Or, if you don’t care (like me) then just let it rip. then laugh.
Have a dog with you at all times. I am on medication that causes excessive flatulence and I always make sure I have a dog with me when in public at all times. Especially my dog as it is really old and it makes sense that it would do it.
lmao i had situations like this sadly. but what i do is i then act like i was making the sound from my mouth. like pretending i was just making fart noises. works all the time
what you must do is wrinkle your nose and start sniffing judgmentally, scowling and looking around you at who must have been so rude to do such a dastardly thing
I always wait until I’m around someone who has heard me (and smelled me (; ) let a big fart rip, like my best friend or sister, and then let it out slowly so its quiet. Then when somebody brings it up and starts accusing , I hold my hands up and smile saying “You’d know if I farted, you wouldn’t be standing here.” Friends agree and move on to accusing somebody else. Works every time.
I dont fart in public ,however my mother does she has no shame lol- once on a packed bus a loud echo’y fart blasted out amidst the crowd! as if a packed bus isnt smelly enough! heads came shooting round toward our way then my mum came aloud and said Elkie! Thats discusting what do you say? ! I was so embarrassed i could not reply,turned to look out the window to hide the shame and glimpsed the little old frail lady who then spoke and said”its okay love,its got to come out of one end or the other,laughing at the end of her remark…i mean how embarrasing-I now drive and would never catch a bus with my mother again LOL x
Hide it? Let yo freak fart flag fly, baby! Fan that $hit on some hot honey to get her attention, and then you take her out for waffles!
It’s easier if you’re sitting down because you can lean your behind on one side to stretch open and then you have a silent fart.. of course, you’d just hope no one smells it.
Acuse the person next to you. Say like, Gosh bro get so damm manners….lol
well if I already farted, i just look at someone else then glares at him or her. or if i farted while seating, I just move my chair pretending the chair is creaky.
I really try not to do this in public, but if I’m performing, I just pop a balloon and scare everyone, they don’t even notice…
I am SO glad I ran across this article. I’ve laughed my butt off, and now it’s my turn. I’m what you’d probably call an old lady, and I’m also vegetarian. Old ladies fart and vegetarians fart. A lot. There’s not much you can do about it. You can’t control where you do it, when you do it or the volume or odor of it. At my age you have 2 choices – just accept that walking on the treadmills at the Senior Center is GOING to cause audible farts or stop going. Hopefully everyone old enough to be in the exercise room at the local senior center is old enough to accept the fact that old people fart. I’m still wiping tears out of my eyes from laughing at some of these comments. LOVE IT!!
You just have to make a distracting noise like a cough or pretend to sneeze, but them comes the smell, that guy always blows your cover, to get rid of him you just blow air out of your mouth towards the fart, but if its a loud one and people are staring at you, just pretend like it was your foot rubbing against something,or if your sitting on a chair jump up and down so it was like the chair squeaking, If all else fails…. Blame someone else!
Lol, funny stories here!
Well, I almost never fart in public, and the few times I did were in REALLY crowded places- as in malls. I’d usually go to the foodcourt and let it out next to the restaurant with the most smelly fish- or meat, whatever’s smelliest. and then be like “EWWW! their food’s seriously ROTTEN! lets try that restaurant down there, I bet it’s better”
Another strategy that I’ve thought of but never really carried it off is when you’re with friends and there’s no smelly food anywhere, then take out your phone, act like you’re reading an email or something put instead play your ring tone really loud – That should cover up any sound. and then quickly act like you’re answering the phone and be like “WHAT?! WHO’S AT THE HOSPITAL?!!! HUH? MOM’S GIVING BIRTH?!!!”~ All that while you’re walking away from your friends as if you’re having a private conversation or like you need to run to the hospital or something. That would make you out of the danger zone when the others notice the deadly smell (The realisation of the smell might be delayed due to their concern for the serious call you’ve just received)
.. Then you just come back after a minute or so laughing your ass out saying “GOD! What a hell of a ‘wrong number’ conversation!! You know what, maybe we should do a prank like this and put it on YouTube!”
i will just look around as if nothing had happened and will casually glance over other people to put others feel as if probably it was not a fart sound
I just squeeze it in haha, and if I can’t hold it I let it out silently and sneak away!
Own up to it ppl. Gosh! It’s just too damn funny man! Just go with it and let er RRRRRIP!!!
I’d turn to someone and say, “Oh hey, I forgot to tell you this earlier.” Then I’d fart.
If I feel a fart coming in, I usually stand up and start skipping or jumping or anything to make noise but only by movements and once the fart comes out you can bearly hear it over the jumping and skipping.
But if it just comes out randomly like for example, in the middle of a conversation, just act like nothin happened and if your friend heard it or smelled just response with a simple “What are you talking about?”. Once your friend tells you they heard/smelled a fart just say. “Oh,wow, ok anyways…”
I ALWAYS do that and it works.
Well…. I don’t fart in public. If I do, it was a complete accident and then I just become really embarrassed and fess up.. saying “wow, that was disgusting, totally sorry.” but only if it made a noise ; )
Otherwise no one would assume me because I’m just some little chick.
When you alone and you suddenly let it out I look down at my shoes and say.
“Stupid shoes…..” Because shoes do make the sound and it ALWAYS WORKS
if its a party i try to coincide with the beat
theres nothing wrong with farting. Dont hide it, just do it and say ‘excuse me’ and dont laugh and get on with whatever your doing