Yahoo! Answers hits the streets: Episode 6
Welcome to Answers on the Streets: Episode 6!
We know you dread, the “talk.” Parents, moms, dads — we want to know how you told (or plan to tell) your kids about well…the birds and the bees. No kids? That’s OK! We’d love to hear your clever ideas and future tips, too.
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Question: How do you tell kids about the “birds and the bees?”
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Congrats to Chris Chan for Episode 5’s Best Answer. Here’s his answer:
The etymology behind “The Big Apple” actually goes far beyond the Jazz era. Keep Asking was on the right track. The phrase does come from literal apples. However, it can be speculated that the term actually comes from the “original” settlers of New York. That’s right, the Dutch! Think about it. Dutch Apple Pie? The Dutch settled New York or New Amsterdam as they called it in the early 1600′s. One of the things they brought over from Holland were apples and apple seeds. They then began to cultivate the land. A good portion of this land became occupied by apple trees. After New Amsterdam was seized by the British in 1664 the area became New York, after the Duke of York. The Dutch briefly regained control over the region and renamed it after a very delicious fruit. They called it “New Orange”. But after realizing they couldn’t really compare The Big Apple to the New Orange they permanently ceded the land back to the Brits. So, in conclusion the “Big Apple” was born from the love of the Dutch for apples and their longing to maintain and retain the area of New York City.
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ok i hate the metaphor birds and the bees
come on people – what do birds and bees have to do with sex – nothing – when parents talk to their kids about birds and bees talk about birds and bees such as kinds of birds and bee hives – thing is lets talk about sex may sound crude but its accurate lol
I would wait until they started asking questions and are curious. Then I would try to answer in a way that the explanation was on their level for their age.
well, kathryn matheny, they call it the birds and the bees because bees carry and deposit pollen into flowers, a visible and easy-to-explain metaphor of male fertilisation. birds lay eggs, a visible and easy-to-explain version of female ovulation.
Ok, my parents just told it they way it is straight to my face when I was about 9. And for me thats perfect, why? Ok my parents were very liberal about it and thats cool because theres nothing wrong about sex. And when you make sex seem like something sinister or bad thats when the problem starts in kids. And then its hart to explain things to them as they grow.
My mom gave me a book on anatomy. Actually, she snuck it in my room and put it on my dresser. She never told me she put it there, but since I already knew about Santa Claus, I figured it out.
I transcribed this a few months ago when my daughter asked me to give her “the talk”:
Her: Are you going to tell me yet?
Me: Yeah…. I bought a book today on the internet which will help explain things but I can tell you a bit about it now if you like.
Her: Yes please.
Me: So, nature made it so men and women have different parts which fit together like a jigsaw puzzle.
Her: Ok
Me: So you know ladies have vagina and men have a penis?
Her: Yeaaahhh…
Me: Well, they fit together
Her: Yuck!
Me: And inside ladies, we have little eggs. Men have little things called sperm which look a bit like tadpoles.
Her: Yuck!
Me: Anyway, when two people love each other and the man puts his penis in her…
Her: Wait a sec. I’m not a bird.
Me: Huh?
Her: Mum! We can’t have eggs – we’re not birds.
Me: They’re not like bird’s eggs. They’re so tiny you can’t even see them. So the sperm goes into the lady and finds the egg and that’s how the baby starts to grow.
Her: That’s gross. Do they have to get on top of each other and kiss and cuddle a lot?
Me: Um…yeah….I guess so.
Her: Did you get sexed by Dad?
Me: Well, yeah. That’s how we got you.
Her: Yuck. Can you and me have sex?
Me: No. Children and adults can’t have sex – and I’m your mum. It’s for grown ups who love each other.
Her: Do you think you could bring a sperm home from work so I can have a look?
Me: No. There’s no sperm at work. Wait until we get the book and we’ll talk about it more, ok?
Her: Ok. Sex is gross. I’m not ever doing it. Are there other ways to have a baby?
Me: Yes. Sometimes a doctor can get some sperm and put it into a lady so she can have a baby. It’s called artificial insemination.
Her: Yuck. Does it hurt when the doctor shoves the sperm up her?
Me: I don’t think so. Please don’t say “shove” when you’re talking about artificial insemination.
Her: Ok. Don’t forget to see if you can get some sperm from work for me, ok?
Me: I’m getting a wine.
As a “kid” of sixteen, I can tell you the best way is simply telling them straight up. Too many parents try to hide kids from it, and that leads to the kids finding out from other sources, as I did. The best way is to simply tell your kids the truth when they ask where babies come from. If they don’t ever ask, then I would say about nine or ten just flat out tell them about sex and puberty. I had no clue why I was changing when it happened to me, so, ya, just tell them early so they’re smart about it.
I never dreaded “the talk” and never understood the fear, nervousness, or even sometime cringing attitude about it. They asked, I answered, honestly and w/out shame.
Why would you beat around the bush? Just sit them down and say it. Your kids aren’t as smart as you, if you beat around the bush or try to use some kind of weird metaphor ( “The Birds and the Bees”? Really people?) they are more likely to get mixed signals on what sex is about. I remember when my oldest brother told me, he came out and said it straight to my face and we were done talking in about 5 minutes, and I turned out perfectly fine. To put it in simple words, no fancy stuff, no dressing it up to make yourself feel more comfortable with saying it to your kids, no over-complicating things. Just use simple words, answer their questions with facts, and tell them the basics, there’s no need to make a PowerPoint to to explain sex to your kids people.
Show them a video of you and your spouse having sex.
Take them to google, turn safe search off and let them go wild.
my mom and dad told me that story and i really did not understood at the time i really wish they had made it easy and fast i mean kids would understand better if you just plain out say sex is when you put your part into the girl part and than it makes baby but you do not want to make babys early i dont know that wouldv’e freak me out but i mean yeah i just wanted to let you know what a kid thought about the talk
I never had just one big talk with my parents, I asked questions when I was curious or used the internet. I think parents should give their children kid-friendly internet resources (like kidshealth and those sites) and tell them to look there if they’re too embarrassed to ask their parents.
As early as possible – it’s much less awkward this way
I would wait until the child asked me. But if they were in middle school and they still weren’t asking questions, I would start talking.
I mean, I would never want my children to learn about sex in school. I’ve been there…it sucks! Everything I know, I’ve learned from others and research. My parents never told me about it!
It’s a lot easier to just know what everyone else is talking about instead of pretending to know and end up giving or getting wrong information.
You want your kids to be informed, it will help them make the right choices!!
my parents didnt tell me
i figured it out quick when i hit 7th grade
Lol my parents had a LONG talk in the car with me…It was really uncomfortable but atleast I didn’t have to sit at my kitchen table talking about it…Haha I prefer when they just tell me…..not trying to sugarcoat the facts of life
My guess is to wait for them to show an interest and then explain in not so graphic details about male and female roles. Males should know more about the male role and females about female issues.
Plant pollination is a great way to go.
I tell my children birds watching and bees loving. We Indians always very back in loving creatures.Children favourite channel, disney x channel, is really a wonderful tool. Because this channel presents many animated films on insects, wild animals, aqua animals like fishes, gelly fish, etc. With effective conversation between father fish and son fish, develops an attachment in children with their parents. Encouraging children to see such animated movies in disney x channel on toys, insects, aquaanimals , children get attachment with this living world. They feel happy for their bith on this earth that there are many creatures in this world as same as their family. In the early morning, I show the children birds cleaning their bodies with feather, biting guava from branch , I tell them breakfast is compulsoryto everybody. I explain my children dailyduties of birds i.e., constructionof nest, feeding just born babies bringing noodles or small worms to their opened little mouths, order of preference how equal distribution of food to each baby, as similar as we, parents. They show the social value by shouting all birds at a time when a bird is in trouble, bringing the importance of society if any trouble arise to any individual, a chorus voice in TV channel with slogans. By encouraging my children in reading panchatantra, watching reader digest special DVDs on birds and animals, I develop loving birds and bees. I collect the information on firefly on facebook and mailed to my children’s profiles. Give opportunity to feed their loving animals like dog with left over meal. I identify the satisfaction in their eyes of their love towards others. I purchased binoculars for children to watch birds, butterflies, and insects on sundays. Am I good mom or not?
Regrettably, my parents did not talk about “the birds and the bees” to me at all, nor about masturbation. I lost my virginity at age 13, and totally hate that fact. Parents ought to be far more open with their kids than they are (or at least my parents are).
As back then, a young boy at 13, my dad was clearly feeling awkward about “the talk”–which I remember to this day as if it’d happened just yesterday. Sensing his awkwardness–and being the good son I was, I helped him along his goal by assuring him that 1) I was quite aware of my new view on girls. 2) I understood the natural process of sexual attraction and 3) Was well aware of the life changing dangers of reckless unprotected sex ( a point I think alone had my dad feeling better I understood and knew ).
“The Talk” is simply what it is; more difficulut for moms and daughters–because of the additional discussion about other female matters that just HAVE to happen at the onset of teen puberty.
But gender issues aside, we parents seem to always find a way of reaching out our message of concern to our kids—hoping we get the point of being safe w/ sexual dynamic matters they face growing up.
If I ever do have a child or children I’d tell them the basics. I wouldn’t get too graphic with it. Also it would be around the time they hit puberty so they won’t react too immaturely.
My parents never had ‘the talk’ with me. Through growing up.. watching television.. and going to school.. we kinda just figured it out ourselves.
I have a kid on the way, and that’s one of the few things I don’t have a plan for. We’ll just have to take it as it comes.
You shouldn’t need to go onto Yahoo Answers to ask people how to raise your kid.
I have made sure that sex is NOT a taboo subject for discussion in our household. My kids know that they will get a straight, unflinching answer from me if they ask any question, including those about sexuality. My daughters are now entering the early stages of puberty, so there have been many questions over the past two years or so, and we have all grown very comfortable in discussing the matter. The biggest mistake parents can make, in my opinion, is getting embarassed about it. Your kids are going to hear plenty of the typical “tee-hee” immaturity from friends at school when discussing sex; at home they need someone who can address the subject in a rational adult way that is free from shame and disapproval, and there is no such thing as knowing too much about your own body and sexuality.
My parents and family made it very hush until I was about 11, then very akwardly my Mom mentioned something about it, but by then I already knew about it from a book I read at a friends house and another friend who had been sexually abused. Frankly I was already grossed out and shocked about it, and hearing it from my Mom made me even more grossed out! Then I heard about it in school and it got a lot more comfortable talking about it after that but it was always awkward with my parents.. Hmm..my daughter is 6 and I am already talking about many things with her. She knows that girls and boys have privates, girls grow breasts and hair when they are about 11 or 12 and get “blood” every month. She already figured out that Mom gets “blood” sometimes and I figured she should know about it so she doesn’t freek out. She knows that having babies should happen after a man and woman are married and promise one another to love each other and thus the baby will have a Mommy and Daddy to look after him her and love him or her.. I will continue the discussions without hesitation as she gets older and I have lots of advice as well as fear and dread to instill in her before she starts dating. The “boy” (now 2) will get the whole thing too from Daddy as well as Mommy.
My three year old has started asking questions about babies and how they get in the mommy’s tummy. The easy part was telling them how the babies come out. She asked if it hurt and I told her yes. Then she started playing a games where she will, of the blue, stand there and scream and then point to the ground and say, “Did you see my baby come out my vagina?”
I eventually told her that when a mommy and a daddy love each other so much the daddy plants a seed inside the mommy’s tummy and the baby grows like a plant inside the mommy’s uterus until it is ready to be born. This has all been hysterical and embarrassing at the same time.
If they ask I tell them.
I don’t use birds and bees, I tell them exactly what happens, if they ask, though I have described sperm as a seed, but my older child is so curious, he now knows it all!
He was more horrified however, in that he thought that the man was “weeing” in the woman.
If it’s my son
DON’T BE A FOOL, WRAP YOUR TOOL
if it’s my daughter
If you have sex, you’re out
Like that one commercial says, “Special Hugs” is where babies come from
But yea, I never had THAT talk with my parents. My dad would have said “go ask your mother”. But I didn’t want to hear it from my her so I just learned at school.
My mom was open to tell me I just got loud whenever she brought it up. “LALALALALALA” usually backed her off from the subject.
We used a book that was published in Sweden because it could not be published in the U.S. due to the in-utero photographs of the living, growing fetal development. This book chronicles the full reproductive process from insemination to birth in glorious, full color photography. We would sit down with the children and show them why Mommy was pregnant and what to expect. When they went to their elementary school sex ed classes, they laughed because they knew way more than was being presented. They told us that they could have taught the class and done a better job than was given to the other children.
We had six children, so that book was well used. In fact it wore out so we got an updated edition to replace it.
I don’t have kids yet, but I remember how my mom did it. First she started by making information about fetal development avaliable when I was a child-she had a basic science book with pictures and what-not that we had full access to. As a result, though I didn’t know the logistics of how the babies got into the mother I wasn’t so curious about it all that I went to my friends for info. Over the years she added a few “how I develop” books to the book shelf that gave general information about maturation (though not about sex). She knew I would be more comfortable reading about it than having an intial conversation. Then when I was about twelve she asked if I had any questions about anything. She didn’t start off with an awkward “we need to talk” she just brought it up while we were doing laundry-made it so much less awkward!
Personally I feel the best time to do so is either right before or right after they air “The Video” for children in their school. Find out from your child’s teachers what the date of any reproductive health will be taught (most schools will actively inform parents with permission slips), and be prepared to both inform and be open for questions. If you prefer after the class presents, start off with something like, “So did you talk about anything interesting today?” or, “I remember you guys were doing some reproductive health work in school, do you have any questions from today?” If not, let your child know you’re open to talk anytime!
No need for you to do it. Just complain to the school district to put in a sex ed class.
But seriously, if I had a kid I wouldn’t care if they had sex or not, I would only care who they had it with and if they used a condom, the latter being extremely important. If they had it with their girlfriend if it was my son or boyfriend if it was my daughter, and they used a condom, it’s all good. However, if no condom was used…. there’s going to be serious problems.
The problem is that adults see sex as a bad thing, associated with porn and all that stuff, children are inoocent, and you should tell them the way it is, a natural process, my parents talk to me when I was like 5, explainig me the important facts of it, and explainig me the right way, (not like other people that just say that girl have eggs and boys have tadpole-like things, and then they join forming a baby) when you talk to them about sex, make sure you also talk about the responsability and risks that it brings with it. That way they’ll know to make the right choices, not like today’s fifteen year old girls gthat get prgenant.
Some of these reply’s are hilarious!
My son and I never had “the” talk we had numerous talks throughout his life. Any time he asked I tried to flow out as much information as I could until I saw his eyes glaze over or his attention drift off. Sometimes that happened immediately, sometimes I ended up getting a lot if info across to him. he knows that there is nothing that is off limits as far as questions and that he will get an honest answer. We have some very deep conversations some times.
Recently I found out he had unprotected sex with his girlfriend that led to a scare that luckily turned out all right. As he was headed back to college after a weekend run home I stuck a package of condoms in his bag when he wasn’t looking.
Text as follows when he found them:
SON:Wow, Im not a man whore.
ME:lets just say you have enough to figure out which brand you like, and you won’t have a scare like last time.
SON:I dont want you thinking Im a bad person
ME: Dont now and never have. Don’t look at this as something bad. Now your equipped for next time.
SON: Omg your the weirdest dad ever lol.
ME: Yeah. Maybe. I can live with that and so can you.
SON: I have morals.
ME: I know you do bud. That’s why I love you. I don’t think any less of you. It’s just part of growing up and another lesson to learn.
SON: Ok, good. I love you to.
Kids figure it out on their own. I can guarantee it your kid knows what it’s about.
As a mother of one son and four girls I’ve always played it straight with my kids. I took my son aside at about the age of 12 and using a cucumber I showed him how to correctly apply a condom. I don’t use phrases for sex I am direct and honest with my kids so when my 10 year old daughter asked me what exactly [as in the physical mechanics] sex was I explained it to her.
I believe that raising kids in the fantasy world of “The Stork brought you” or in hypocrasy it comes back and bites you.
I’m 18 and my parents have NEVER talked to me about it. I don’t go to public school so I didn’t learn from school either. I guess I kinda just figured it out. My Mom told me about periods but she never explained anything other than what to do. I can’t think of a time when I figured it out, I guess I just put enough pieces together from things I had read and seen, and heard to figure it out. I think I might have been happier if my parents would have had “The Talk” with me, because as embarrasing as it might be, I wouldn’t have had to figure out on my own.
When I was eight, I was sitting in front of the TV and a medical show came on. They showed the sperm going to the egg, a pregnant lady, a man — I figured it all out in around thirty minutes. My mother was horrified. I was perfectly fine. Felt enlightened for a little while, then got distracted by a butterfly.
Then she tried to wait and tell me when I was 14 and knew more about sex than she did. If I have kids, I’m not pulling that “stork” crap. When they ask, they get told, in a way suitable for their level of maturity, not their “age”.
Sex isn’t HORRIFYING. It’s natural and should be treated as such.
You can’t be serious!!! This is the 21′st century! Quite being such a prude & just tell em,straight up! No Birds & bees horsesh*t! Besides,it’s your responsibility as a parent….Get over urself,already!!!
I’ve raised 4 kids. 2 boys and 2 girls. they all turned out just fine. I NEVER had “The talk” with any of them.
I gave them about a paragraph a year from the age of 6/7. Always age appropriate. By the time they reached the right age they were well aware of what was going on. I always thought “the talk” was a barbaric thing for both parents and children. It is!
Give them a spoonful at a time and save everybody the hassle. At the right time you can give them an appropriate book explaining the physics of it all.
my nephew is two and this is what he said “mommy, where do babies come from?” he’s 2 years old! ahh! i love that kid! <3
I think that the stories about the birds and the bees is too dumb for the kids, It’s better to tell them, “mommy and daddy loved each other very much, then you came to be here.” and then just tell them that they will find the specific of how that love transcend later in life by themselves.
My 4 children & I have always had an open dialogue with every subject, including sex. I try to answer honestly, but keeping it age appropriate. It started with teaching my children to think for themselves & that we can be friends with people without following their example or having the same views. My mom told me about sex by giving me a pop up book & a training bra…and then walked away. I’m still in therapy over that one. Later, when I was getting married, I thought I would make her happy & ask for sex advice. Her only advice was to pee before. I never asked for advice again. I never wanted it to be awkward with my children, but I also wanted them to come to me if they had questions. I wanted them to guide the pace. Now, my oldest is in 5th grade and that is a big year for girls. I had to really sit down & ask her what she knew about sex. Then, I filled in the missing information and answered any questions she had.
I just say the Stork brings the babys, and as far as I know, birds and bees have nothing in common. Kinda makes my brothers and sisters mad, my at least my nephews and nieces arent emberrased.
I started when they were very young. Little things like, “He’s cute but you can’t kiss him until your married silly!” or “I don’t understand why your friend would have a girlfriend, he’s in 3rd grade! At that age they are going to break up and probably not even be friends anymore.” It has done great because my 5th grader just told somebody at lunch this week that if he was going to have a girlfriend that he would have to be older and God would let him know who it was anyway. Same for my 7th grader but my 8th grader wants to be a priest. So just start young so the classmates don’t tell them what THEY think is ok first!
Remember, kids of yesteryear are not of today. Higher IQ’s request less sugar coating and more direct answers. Maybe not in full detail, but the bigger issue is the Parents getting over their discomfort about being open.
What they don’t learn from you, they will learn from someone else!!!
My mom and dad never really had a “talk” about the birds and the bees. That never really just sat down with me and talked about it. The only thing my mom said to me was “if your going to have sex, use a condom.” I’m 15, and I have never had sex. And if I was planning too, I would deff. talk about birth control options with my bf. But as you get older, and enter high school. You learn things from other kids… That could be good… or well bad. Most of the things I have learned about sex has been through people at school. Because at school it is an open conversation. But, I think the best thing to do is to be honest with your kids. You shouldn’t make something up, because you don’t want them to know the truth. Honesty is the best policy. I think that if your always honest with your kids, then they will be honest to you back.
You answer their questions honestly and simply. Don’t give more information than is asked for and don’t sit them down to have “the talk”. Children are naturally inquisitive, so leave it up to them to ask what they want to know. Remember to be honest with them. This is the most important part.
IDK I was like 5 or 6 when I got the talk. my mom gave the the basics ex. “how to do it” “why” “when” etc. etc. and now my dad (age 13) gives me talk on “when to have sex” and what not.
I think most parents and kids are idiots. My parents never gave me the stupid talk, because they know I already know that crap. They did talk to me randomly when I was like 10, but not a stupid “Son, I need to talk to you, come alone in the room with me, we need to talk (for like an hour).” WTF. That’s so stupid. My father was cool about it…and “the talk” was like 5 minutes. We didn’t really get into detail, but knowing about sex is freaggin common-sense! I’m 13.
Haha, I never REALLY had the “talk” with my parents.
MOM: You know what sex is, right?
ME: Yeah…..
MOM: Good, don’t have it until you are at least 23. Are you happy, honey? (last one towards Dad)
I have always been a big proponent of the idea that, where possible, the same-sex parent is supposed to have this particular conversation. I must tell you, for a couple of years after we got married, I was ambivalent about being “dad” (his biological father isn’t around) but I have to say that this was where that started turning around.
I had known it was coming, but one day I came home from work early and found a neighborhood girl almost literally sitting in his lap. When he didn’t understand why I was so upset, I decided the time had come. I had him come with me to pick up his mom at work – hence what he now calls “the 45 minute car ride.”
This actually made it easier for both of us, since I had to drive, so I didn’t have to look directly at him and he didn’t have to look directly at me. And while I did cover the basics – about the pending physical changes, about the sex act, etc. – more of what I told him was pointed toward the social/moral/behavioral aspects. Treat a woman with respect. Be aware of what the hormone overload is going to tell you so that you are prepared and can counteract it.
In particular, I shared with him something that I wish were original to me, but came from a former girlfriend. Making love to someone isn’t just a physical act, isn’t just an exchange of bodily fluids. It’s the most intimate thing two people can share. I phrased it the way it was phrased to me – when you have sex with someone, it’s like you’re giving a piece of yourself to them, and they to you, and it needs to be treated accordingly. And, yes, I expressed that his mom and I felt he should wait until marriage.
He was rather embarrassed about the whole situation. Frankly, so was I. But when it came time for him to use that conversation – almost a year later, when he was alone with a girl for the first time … when he later told me about what that was like for him, he recited, almost verbatim, everything he and I had talked about that day. And the lines of communication were open. He came to me for advice about when it was appropriate to kiss her – which told me, the hormones (and, by way of body language, the girl) were telling him to kiss her, but he was prepared for it and proceeded accordingly. And he has continued to do so.
My mom was a nurse. Being curious, and a voracious reader, I found her nursing textbooks in the closet when my parents weren’t home. By age 11, I knew literally EVERYTHING from Tanner stages of development to all the flavors of venereal disease.
Kids are smarter than we give them credit for. Most of them anyway.
Ok i No all about sex. i have friends who have had sex. Kids dont like learning about it from parents. We learn it from friends
If they go to public school they will find out with sex education or without sex education…me my self as a teenager found out when i was 6 the difference about a man and a women and where babies come from when i was about 8
Funny story. I was 5 when my mom got pregnant with my first brother. I guess she figured I was old enough to hear it all because the topics just kept flying out. Started out easy enough to hear:
“Guess what honey? I’m going to have a baby.”
But then the parentheses started to form in my head and it wasn’t all that good of news.
(Move over, you won’t be our only child for long.)
“It will be here around Christmas time” (as it was…my brother was born ON Christmas day)
“This is what we did to make the baby” (I knew those things were important for something.)
“Don’t touch them yourself for fun or you will go to Hell.” (Really. Really?)
“Soon your body will be getting ready to have babies too!” (OMG Bleeding. For a week. Every. Month.)
“OH by the way there is no Santa Claus” (because at Christmas we will be broke with the new baby)
“OR Easter Bunny” (I asked, I thought maybe they were similar and yes they were.)
“Or Tooth Fairy” (Whatever. I guess this is no surprise.)
“But you will be able to help me with the new baby, won’t that be fun?” (Convenient, now that I have been so efficiently stripped of my childhood…I can be put to work.)
Well, I don’t have kids yet, I’m only thirteen years old, but here’s how I was “taught”. I grew up on a small farm in Hawaii (And I’m still on that farm
and like most farms, our farm has chickens, cats and other animals. At about six years old, I learned why the chickens and cats.. did what they did. My mom had it easy, I asked her after I had seen the chickens mate a few times on the farm, and she told me exactly why they did that. Because I had seen it, the talk was easier for her to explain to me. It seemed a bit young, but I was curious and so I learned from a young age. No harm in that. It was a stress free, easy way to tell me, I figure. I also learned a lot about the value of a even the smallest life on this farm. 
It’s good to tell them when they are 9 or 10 because I found out from other sources which I think was horrible for me. I also found out mastrobation from other sources. I wish my parents told me when I was younger.
The Bird and the Bees, well, I look at it this way when a Bird can fly and so does a Bee, but the Bee doesn’t take care of the young Bees when they hatch, their on their own where as the Bird takes care of their young ones till they can finally feed on their own like hum ans take care of their young ones till they can be on their own. How the two reciprocate is not likewise to involve any play time unless a purpose is needed.
When I was 2ish I knew girls had a vagina and boys had a penis. When I was 8/9ish I knew that they went together somehow. When I was 10 my mom said “He puts his penis in a girls vagina. Some people call it ‘making love.’” That’s still basically all I know- besides that that’s how girls get pregnant.
it was 4th grade. the first time the teachers seperated the boys from girls and had the talk. i remember being so confused. with each question i asked, it became apparent that i was the only one who didn’t understand. later that day i was at a friends house and her mom walked in and said “now let me put it in terms you can understand” she explained things way beter than the teachers did.
my mom gave me “the talk” while watching the Fantasia movie. Not a good idea…
I got the talk TWICE. Both times, I had no CLUE what my mom was talking about. I was suggest being quite blunt (my mom tend to beat around terms) and ask them questions. I learned about the birds and the bees the hard way because it was told to me straight up. It’s so awkward, but worth it.
I think my son was about four when he asked me how a baby gets in a mom’s stomach (I was not yet pregnant with my second child). I told him when a man and woman love each other they can have a baby and it was an ongoing conversation from that time on; only giving the amount of information requested. Quite relieved by the fact that no, the sitter’s sister did not EAT the baby to get it in there; and yes, that’s right mommy and daddy love each other and are making him a brother or sister. Skip forward to age 7…and it was “I know what makes a baby but HOW does it get in there”. The explanation about penis and vagina ensued (he had been taught these words when he was curious about his own body and the difference between a girl and a boy – probably age 2 1/2 or 3). Quite frankly he was more freaked out about the sperm looking like tadpoles than anything else. We have talked about it all: preference of being married before making babies but not necessarily having sex; safe sex; when a woman means no it means no; masturbation (never in public, please! and pick up/dispose of your own materials); erectile function, etc., etc. Hoping that Information provided as requested makes a well-informed and safe experience for him one day…though I am still on the fence about wanting to know when that is.
Talking to kids — I made kids aware of he diseses out there and how easy they are to contact. Than was said — I know that your hormones are running away from you. I ‘d rather see you NOT have sex. But if you can’t refrain from it – Than UNLESS you want to deal with this girl for the next 18 to 21 years – Than make sure YOU have a condom in your wallet. DON’T be afarid to USE it!! DON’T be foolish!!!!!!!!!!!
Its because we Love YOU — We want YOU around for a VERY long time.
Also was said — One day you may have a daughter — Treat your girl friend like you want a young man to treat your daughter.
USE YOUR HEAD!!
my parents never told me anything about it, i learned everything from school, and im not talking about my teachers. the time they decided to talk to me about it i was already a year and a half in my period.
If your kid has friends and/or internet access and can’t figure out on their own, then there is something wrong with them. I always assumed “the talk” was a joke… people actually do that?
Sure, talk to your kid about safe sex and responsibility, but unless they’re mentally challenged they shouldn’t need you to teach them the biology of it…
i’m 16 now. still waiting for the “talk”.. my parents are avoiding it.
i don’t think they should.
ha. dear parents,
please just tell your child the truth whether you think it’s too crude or anything. my mother was the worst sex educator and nothing made sense to me. all she said was “babies come from sex. sex is when a man puts his penis in a womans vagina. i know it sounds weird, i found out from a friend and was horrified. well don’t be, k.”
and that was it. i was about 9. a couple days later i forgot the word vagina. O.O it didn’t stick at all, or “scar” me for childhood like those shocked kids.
around the time i was 11 on the computer i came across this website called scarleteen and that was interesting to me.
when i was 13 i moved in with my father who was very open about sex, but too late, i knew much. xP
I never had “the talk” given to me… it all really seemed obvious to me before long. People learn early on that “boys and girls have different parts” from any number of experiences, such as seeing a baby’s diaper being changed… the rest just makes sense :/
“Hey son, it’s time we talk about sex now”
“Ok dad, what do you want to know”??
Well, what my mom did was just buy me books about it and give it to me. To be honest I can never remember clearly any point in my life when I was genuinely curious about ‘it’, but then again I had all the information I needed. My mom never went through the embarrassing ‘talk’ and in a way I’m glad, because that would have been extremely awkward and I found out everything in due course. I think a parent should leave out books on the bookshelf for reference and let his or her child learn naturally, by themselves. Also, don’t treat sex like it’s a bad thing; my parents absolutely refused to talk about it at all whatsoever, and that made it more awkward than it had to be.
honestly in germany parents dont lie to their kids, theres this sex book where the family does stuff together and then the mum and the dad always have sex at night and the book explains everything thats what i learned. why hide sex? the more open you are about it the less likely the kids will be weird about it!
I found out about the birds and the bees while standing in line at recess waiting to go back in to class! I was in the sixth grade at the time.
Some kid in line told us that a man puts his part A in to a womans’ part B. We all went “ewwwwww gross” at the same time. We thought it was gross – that thought really hasn’t changed much over the years either!
My parents flat-out said nothing at all. In retrospect, I often wonder if that was good since they are prudes. What didn’t help was that, since my mother figured they gave us a half-hour session at school in 5th grade, I was completely under-prepared for my first period, which hit while I was at school one day and I had to spend the entire day with it, not knowing what to do.
I learned everything else on the Internet after that point.
american public schools are some of the worst in terms of education anyways. Homeschool or private school, and then there is no need to cover up your mistakes, that you failed as a person. and that you are a whore.
My mom just told me straight out when i was 5, but she didn’t explain it very well. I learned through adult movies and other sources and actually thought it was pretty hot, even when i was younger. But i’m glad my mom told me about that young, because i started developing when i was 8. And we are going to develop faster and faster in each generation. My advice? Don’t tell them too little, tell them the basics. And tell them when they are really young, like age 5-7. That way they are more accepting to it and open, because younger kids can accept better than older kids.
You don’t need to teach kids about sex, they’ll pick it up when they’re ready.
No one told me about “The Birds and the bees”, but I didn’t run through the school hallways inappropriately fondling little girls when I was alittle boy either.
Kids are going to learn at their own pace, by telling them at an early age all you are doing is feeding the fantasy.
When they start asking questions (my kids are 2 and 4, and they haven’t asked) I suppose they’ll be old enough to know the truth. It will be age appropriate, of course. I’ll start by telling them how mommies and daddies love each other, and how they want to have babies to love and raise. I’ll tell them the truth in moderation. I’ll also use it as an opportunity to talk about innapropriate touching and violation. Kids these days are not stupid, and they either learn the correct info from their parents or they learn incorrect info from friends or people who do not mean well.
Um. Yeah. Do it when they’re pretty darn young, and they will surely find out the details from kids at school if you never bother. younger the better. I got this book from my parents, but that was ultra awkward and i was only 6.
Well I was quite young when I had the talk. I was like 5? So it wasnt really in depth but ya know still the first time I ever got an idea of what sex was. Well its a pretty funny story actually. My mom and I were watching Dumbo and I asked, “Mum where does the stork get the baby Dumbo?” My mom kinda sighed and said, “Well, when a mommy Dumbo and a Daddy Dumbo love eachother very very much the well have sex, which makes a baby Dumbo.” She said trying not to go too into depth.
So when I was about 10 she really told me about it because the school Nurse who taught us about sex confused me, so thats when she got into depth. She told me women had little eggs inside of them and men had little things that looked like tadpols called sperm, she then told me that the man put is penis in the womens vagina to make a baby. Then I asked if it hurt and she said “Yes, it hurts very much the first time so dont you ever think of doing it unless your married and over 25!!! Now go play outside.” Haha Im 13 now and I fully and completely know everything… well almost everything since Im still a virgin. But honestly when your talking to your kids about sex dont forget to tell them about the consequences too, such as STDs, STIs AIDS and dont forget to mention when you hit puberty you can have kids! As well as to always, always use protection.
I didn’t dread to talk. I did. I told them everything, piece by piece. Whenever they asked questions, I gave them answers. Never told them lies, never exaggerated. They asked for simple answers. I gave them simple answers, and moved on to other subjects. When my children said, it was gross, and they’d never do it, I told them they didn’t have to. If someone forced them, it was called rape, and police would come to take that person to jail. I told them never to do it unless they wanted to. They were relieved. I had started at age 2, when asked the difference between girls and boys. I had told them a girl has a very small room in her, and that a baby can grow in her. I never said ‘tummy’, never said ‘ vagina’ or ‘ uterus’ , it was ‘the small room’, and ‘the door to the room’. When they grew up, I told them the real names. Unless you are ashamed, and unless you try to explain too much at a time, it’s not difficult at all.
I only remember having 4 biggy type sex talks, the rest were from the internet, friends, or school.
School ones are weird. You’re in a class with a lot of other kids, but it’s not as awkward. I’m the type of person that even if I know the answer, I won’t raise my hand unless I’m called on. All of my life I’ve had male gym teacher, and this year, being a Freshman in High School is no different. We have Health class every other day and occasionally, something like that will come up.
I have often wondered why they use the term “The Birds and the Bees” when Birds and Bees have nothing to do with each other and fly in 2 completely different paths. However, I have come up with something: Bees have stingers. Birds do not. That’s as far as I have come with that. lol. Don’t beat around the bush when it comes to sex. Kids and teens won’t understand. If you’re afraid, get them a book or a website.
ok here is the thing im a kid and i know how we want to hear it. I myself never got a talk from my parents and honestly that never helped me i wish i had. i know its akward for you guys and it is for us too but still its needed to get across because believe me school health classes dont help so much and u cant ask questions in a big group of people like that… who knows who will judge u?!? so really parents just talk to ur kids about while they r young and dont understand it so much better because then they actually might feel COMFORTABLE with it in a few years! i wish i could ask my parents about some of the questions i have but because they never talked to me about it i feel odd going up to them… there is no comfort or trust on the subject in my house hold and i hate that. BELIEVE ME! your kids might just WANT to learn about these things! so as hard as it might be please try to get ur point across for them it will help.
I would just let the schools handle that little business
You don’t realy have to. They figure it out for themselves. When my parents sat me down back in the early 80′s to give me a talk I almost laughed because I could see how uncomfortable they were.
They didn’t need to give me the talk though because I had already figured it out.
ok, some of those comments said “wait until they ask”
if u want a pregnant teenager that is the PERFECT plan.
my mom told me at a young age, even though at that time I really didn’t understand any of it, but any age is appropriate to tell your kids about it as they get older they will have more respect toward the subject!
My parents never had the talk with me, they basically expected me to learn it once they began teaching sex-ed in school. They never talked to me about it at all.
So I didn’t know how sex actually happened until I was 13 and in 8th grade. This is a HORRIBLE way for children to find out. Parents should occasionaly bring the topic up to their children in a way that’s appropriate for their age.
well actually id just tell my kids straight up xD
me: Listen kid its time we had Tha Talk
my kid: the talk?
Me: Yes the talk you know the one about sex and chiz
Ya see the guy puts his penor and inside the girls vagg and thats sex
kid: o_o …
Me: and thats how babehs are made and how u were made too, for a guy you may faint or be aight, for girls oh your **** for quite some time
kid: ._. …
ahh i like being an ass XD
I never was given the talk, my parents figured we already knew some, and we could just figure it out on our own.
You don’t. Your kids don’t want to hear it. It’s way too awkward and they find out anyways. Besides, every school has sex-ed. Of course, if your kid starts to go wrong, then you set them straight.
i was never given the talk and learned mostly everything through the internet. wikipedia does wonders.
i got “the talk” when i was in fourth grade (i was reading my Bible and came upon the word “rape”; definitely not the best way to be introduced to this topic)and my mom was very straightforward about it. it wasnt awkward, and i understood that it is special and important, not bad or nasty or anything like that. as such, i am 18 years old, have a love life, and still have my virginity. if more parents were straightforward and realistic like mine were, i think a lot of kids would keep their virginity longer because they know what it is and arent as curious as those who dont know.
just tell it to them straight.
life is about having babies.
when the bee stings the birdy, the birdy gets a big tummy!
omg Monkey…I really hope you give her the real talk soon! xD
Wow, these avoiding-the-talk-while-giving-the-talk is funny but at the same time very very sad. And it sets up your kids to have sex without the proper knowledge.
I never had “the talk”. The internet was all I needed…But I did tell my parents when I wanted to have sex with my ex, and we had a very long talk about it. Thank god I still have my virginity =]
So, I’m not a parent at the moment and I don’t plan to be for a long time, at least 10 years since I’m 16 at the moment. I understand how kids see what sex is and how they understand what it is. Usually they get the full idea from when they’re 14 years of age.
If I was a parent I would wait until they are at least 14 years of age before I would consider talking to them about “the birds and the bees”. I would also wait until they got a girl/boyfriend. Here’s how I would start off:
“OK (insert child’s name), I know your starting to mature and that your going through certain stages in your life at the moment where your changing both physically and mentally. I hope you already know where babies come from (((kids know stuff from tv, music, movies, books, school and the internet))) and if you do we don’t need to talk about it. (if they do know then I’ll stop and just warn them about the dangers of having a baby this young). When a man and a woman love each other very much, they fall in love and get physically and emotionally attached to each other. It’s kind of like gardening, a man will plant a seed into the woman’s soil and if it is planted correctly, a baby is made”.
I know it’s a bit explicit but it makes for sense than the birds and the bees. The good thing is my parents never gave me the talk since they just thought it would be too awkward.
My parents never actually told me. We started having sex ed lessons at school a few years ago (I’m fourteen) and I think that’s when they intended me to find out, but you can’t spend most of the week around a bunch of preteens and not figure it out. There’s always some who find out and spread the word, and not necessarily in a delicate manner. I just pieced it together from what I heard, so sex ed was really just confirmation that I was right.
So yeah, I’d recommend telling your kids before their classmates start to see it as ‘common knowledge’ (might differ from place to place, it was about ten or eleven for me). That way they’ll know the scientific explanation before people in their class start scaring them about it.
We started explaining things to my son when he was 3. It was never a formal discussion, instead it was about the garden, why the wasp was “stinging” the banana blossoms, why the bees were in the garden, why we kept the male and female rabbits apart, why the dogs and cats needed to be fixed, why you needed 2 of certain trees to have fruit. We gave simple answers that were age correct. We didn’t try to give more information than was asked for and didn’t try to moralize more than we should or make sex seem dirty. The only reason ever to have “the Talk” is that you screwed up and didn’t communicate effectively for 10-12 years and now you are trying to make up for it, or your actions spoke louder than your words and you don’t want the munchkin repeating your mistakes.
ha that is the funniest thing. in 5th grade i came home and told my mom that at school we were having the birds and the bees talk. She literally didn’t get why they called it birds and the bees..so i had to explain it for her =P but that same day she didn’t have to explain the dirty details about sex, she just warned me that i needed to be careful, and to at least wait until i was mature enough for it. I never wouldv’e thought i was going to teach my mom abou the birds and the bees =)
You should tell them straight but they’ll probably know by finding out stuff from a young age, I knew from about 6 going on 7 Haha. My Mum didn’t really need to have the sex talk with me, only a little bit but then she answered any questions I wanted answered
When my son was three, he and I were driving, when he looked over at me and said, ” Dad, what’s a bagina”.
I thought for a moment and said,
” What do you think it is?”
” I don’t know”, he said ” Mommy said she has one and you don’t.”
” Oh’…” I said
“You and me have penis’s”, he said
[hmdhmdhmd...]
” Yeah, that’s right we’re male. Mommies not”, I said
“Oh.” he said…
” Mommy’s got mail!” he said
” No, you and me are m-a-l-e… ( he’s only 3…??)”
” abcDeeee….”
( Ah’ good. Maybe he’ll forget the subject)
He did, but I always wondered how he’d find out. I figure he’d find out from some other kid. He did.
I would just tell them straight up. Kids aren’t stupid, it is simply the fact that parents keep watering down everything and dumbing down education that kids are conditioned to see themselves as stupid. If parents just tell the truth, then the kids won’t see themselves as stupid, they won’t condition themselves to learn less and the educational system won’t be watered down.
We need to tell the truth straight up.
i will tell them how God cares about birds that he used a dove to represent the decention of the holy spirit. love is forgiveness. hi
lol my dads a doctor
i knew about this b4 3rd grade