Nanny or day care? That is the question
Hi Guys:
By now you’ve had a chance to get to know me — yes, the woman who loves Belgian chocolate, ponders about gender studies, lovingly calls the Delicious community “geeks,” and joins all kinds of twisted Yahoo! Groups. But I’d like to share something even more personal here — and ask your opinion on what to do.
Every morning, I wake up with a smile and sigh, because I could really use another hour of sleep, but my daughter’s “cooing” is just too adorable to ignore. Our family has a pretty regular routine down:
- The baby wakes us up
- My husband and I argue about whose turn it is to get up, even though we both know it will be me
- I breastfeed and then bring the adorable bundle of joy to her father so they can have their bonding moment as well, which is — you guessed it — getting her diaper changed. (Who said life isn’t fair?)
We try to have breakfast as a family, but that usually collides with some phone calls with our European offices, my daughter insisting that she can eat by herself and throwing rice cereal all over our brand new sofa (thank God for IKEA), and my husband remembering he forgot to iron his shirt while texting one of his customers on his BlackBerry.
Usually a moment of calm and peace reappears when our nanny enters our apartment, but this time she is late, and when she finally arrives, she has some news to share: “I am going back to school full time, and this will be my last week.”
We are absolutely thrilled for her, but where are we going to find a new nanny on such short notice? As I drive to work and try to recall all the places I posted an ad last time, I wonder whether it’s time to finally consider placing our daughter in daycare so she can be in a more social environment. She is only 9 months old and truly enjoys the personal attention she gets, but nannies are expensive and hard to find.
Luckily for me, you guys already had a conversation about this on Yahoo! Answers.
That said, I figured you wouldn’t mind dropping me a few comments on the topic. Ask Mike has all the answers, so I figured you wouldn’t be too bothered with me asking a question.
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Day care centers are great…IF you can find a safe one. A small child needs to be able to play with others her age and learn things that she could only learn in group settings. But a nanny is also good as well. Just check into day care, the price and safety records and also any abuse reports as well before you do anything. Good luck!!
I say Nanny
the baby is so cute
Sorry to say I have to vote for neither. The best caregiver for your daughter is you or your husband. No one is going to love and nurture her like you can. If I were in your shoes (I have been – now have three teens) I would jump through huge hoops to change work schedules and budgets to make sure that precious baby is with mom and dad. Kindergarten is when they are ready to socialize with other children. It would have killed me if one of my kids took their first step or said their first word in day care!
I would say find a TRUSTED and WELL REVIEWED day care, that way you know it is fun and safe. Nannies, you can never know.
I would say daycare. It is good for them to have that social time with peers their age.
I feel a good trusted, nanny from a good family, with good values is your best bet. I feel as if day care centers’ only benefit is social interaction. Otherwise, the child doesn’t get one-on-one attention and accommodations. The child also doesn’t really learn values, manners and etiquette. A nanny that would enjoy taking the child to a social class, such as “Gymboree” or something would satisfy the social-interaction aspect but not fulfill all the other important factors.
My vote would be for daycare, the babies are socialized earlier, build stronger immune systems (unfortunately by getting sick at times) and if it is a good daycare, they start learning sooner. My son learned sign language at 9 months, I am thrilled!
Pardon my honesty.
If you absolutely must do this and I understand many couples can’t afford to cut their budgets by having one spouse be a stay at home spouse, then opt for the Nanny.
Day care centers are full of other children with bad habits. You don’t need your 9 month old picking up bad habits and foul language not to mention their germs too. With a nanny you can limit the bad habits your child learns. If your child must learn bad habits then at least be the one that picks the ones she learns.
how about staying home with your kid instead of letting someone else raise her?
I think nanny , because when I was lil I came home saying every bad word you can think of and other kids are soo mean I had some hit
try http://www.care.com. i’m a nanny from that site and i get a lot of jobs that way. Or try a daycare that has cameras in it. That way you can check up on her while ur at work and don’t have to worry about what people are interacting with your baby
The right daycare is far better than any nanny. Think about it, whats better a child being around his parents, all day long, with very little variety, or a child interacting with other children the right way, in the right environment?
Socialization has been huge in our sons development.
If you can keep trying to keep a good nanny (I assume you check references, maybe even do a background check, etc) I would do it for the next 1 1/2 years or so. I have an 18 month old and almost 3 year old. Once they hit 2.5 they get more social and need less one on one attention. I couldn’t imagine my 18 month old in daycare………she still needs so much in the way of one on one attention – lots of love and cuddles. My almost 3 year old would probably love daycare though.
So conclusion – keep using a nanny and dealing with the hassle for another year or two.
Nanny. From my personal experiences at the day care I went to as a child, it’s not where you’d want your kid to be taken care of (it was a really expensive day care too). I’m sure that there’s probably better day cares out there, but it be better to get a nanny anyways. That way you know for sure your kid is being taken care of, whereas at a day care, there a probably multiple kids that need to be taken care of.
Daycares are good learning and social enviroments for children, but I would say nanny until your daughter is a bit older so she can get the attention she needs.
@Wyllow I’m sure that many mothers and fathers would absolutely LOVE to stay at home with their children and raise them. Unfortunately, for many families, that isn’t possible due to financial situations.
I am a father, this is my opinion-
In a perfect world, parents are the primary caregivers. The reality is, most families struggle on just one income especially in this era of downsizing the workforce and paychecks. Moreover, there can be incredible pressure on the employed parent. With all of that said, I say a nanny or home care provider is the next best thing to parental care. Our children flourished with a mother who took care of her son and our children. They received incredible care and attention. Conversely, day care centers are breeding grounds for disease and generic care. The providers can be stretched too thin and unable to provide the individualized care that each child deserves.
IMO I would say she it too young for day care. My son was put in day care when he was about one and a half. He came home with two bad bite marks, then the next day, came home with 3 new ones, so 5 total. My day care provider had a glass piece on her door so when I knocked to get my now 3 year old son, there was a tiny little girl by the glass, she just started walking, maybe 10 months. I witnessed this 3 or 4 year old girl kick her so hard in the stomach! Then when the little girl did not fall down she kicked her so hard again until she succeeded in knocking her down. I reported this to my day care provider. But honestly babies are not safe in a day care IMO. My husband and I do not make much $ at all but I’d consider every option first, even staying home for over a year, to make sure that never happens to my baby.
When I was in grad school, I worked for a research lab that analyzed weight gain in infants who were cared for in daycare centers, home daycares, and at by home with the mom or dad. I would not want my child in daycare until they are at least 1 or 2 years of age- while the caretakers are well meaning in trying to keep the babies happy, they had tendencies to overfeed and override the infant’s saitey cues. While it is good for your child’s immune system to be exposed to other pathogens, daycares are quite germy. Daycares are great socially, but you can get that same experience with your friends’ infants or neighborhood playgroups. There is too much of a likelihood that your child will pick up bad habits earlier from other children. However, who is to say that won’t happen once your child is enrolled in school. If you and your husband both need to work outside of the home, I would suggest finding a nanny you can trust to watch your child. Do background checks and even try to go through a reputable agencies. I’m sure the perfect nanny is out there for you and your family! Good luck!
At her age i wouldn’t consider neither.My husband and I worked different shifts so one of us was always with my child.Then when she could walk, talk I decided to put her in day care part time just so that she was around other kids.But I always wanted her to be able to talk so she could tell me if someone messed with her .And a 9 month can not talk to tell you something like that.
SAFE and RELIABLE daycare. Research it on-line. Make sure the kids are all well-behaved and, if possible, find out more/background check the employees/owner. Nannies have the ability to steal and such and aren’t as easy to check if they’re reliable or not. Safety, money, and convenience is the key.
My daughter is 10 months old and has been in daycare since she was 3 months old. While I rely on the consistency of the day care center (they never call in sick), personally I would rather have a nanny come to my house. The drawback of daycare centers is the illness. Your child will get it all (RSV, ear infections, colds, etc). Her first few months of daycare were so hard…she was in daycare so mommy and daddy could work, but we had to take so many days off and stay home with her cause she got sick from other kids at daycare. I figure she has enough cousins to get the social component. Keep the nanny if you can!
In this economy, there are a lot of great nannies looking for a wonderful family to join. My kids were in daycare for years. Actually, my daughter was in for 3 and my son for 1.
We recently found a great nanny and they are thriving. Daycares are very safe, but kids don’t get the one on one attention that they need.
as a early childhood major right now, I can offer a bit of info about both options, that is proven and studied…I also have worked with children a lot and have seen the differences.
If you choose a day care, you need to find somewhere reputable. Look for somewhere that has licensing plus or possibly NAEYC accreditation. Those places will be best (approved curriculum, tougher inspections, more teachers per child). Personally, I would never put a child in a home daycare, even though i have talked to others that like them (they have much looser regulations, and are really just mass babysitting). Daycare children often will have slightly more behavioral issues than stay at home children, although if you take the time to redirect the behavior, there will not be too much difference, Daycare children are also way ahead of their peers as far as language development, and sometimes their social and motor development is advanced. Some people have mentioned kids saying bad words. This issue is different at every center. I have mostly worked at daycares that largely serve lower income families, so swears happen a lot. When they say a bad word, the trick is to ignore it. Do not give them the reaction they are looking for. Generally the swearing passes in a few days. Violence can also be a concern. In a good center they will work to keep the children more prone t violence away as much as possible. Often, children like that go on behavior plans and are kept away from the children who they will hurt.
Having a nanny can be nice as the child gets one on one interaction all day. The issue is that there is nobody supervising the nanny, and they could be doing whatever they feel like and not tell you. I know a girl who “nannies” by mostly just watching tv (mostly violent sex filled tv) but I also know nannies who work hard to plan various activities for the kids. If you go with a nanny get someone with experience, references, and possibly an early childhood degree. Do not just hire some girl in college who will work for dirt cheap
and pardon my outspokenness here, but the stuff about how a daycare cannot teach manners or values is bull. Also, there will be some one on one time, and there are plenty of individual accommodations, all you have to do is ask. Ans while a parents care is best, daycare workers often really care about the kids, and will give as much love and attention as they can. I have deeply cared about every child that i have cared for
I think a nanny. Sure, a daycare is a good way to meet friends of her own (i’m still friends with my daycare friends) but…some kids were terribly mean to me, and most were brats.
Aaaand I don’t really agree with some of the practices they did…such as making us walk with ropes tied around our wrists whenever we went on a fieldtrip…or making us eat salt whenever it was hot out to avoid sweating.
I know times have changed since the 90′s, but I don’t think I’d let my kid go to any sort of daycare I went to.
As a nanny currently looking for another nanny position, I say nanny.
You have a beautiful child. If u can stay home with her until she can talk well. If u must put her in child care center find one that is accredited, and has camara.. Nannys are ok. Make sure u do a fine tooth check on them. Follow your gut feeling. Ask God to guide you.
Best of luck.
i would say niether also, i try not to think all peolpe are evil but i used to work for a lady that did daycare at home and she was very mean but wired to them kids and bieng there with her for 4 months i couldnt take it, so i stated my own because my niece didnt trust daycare like that and my sister took her child to to day care for a week shes ony 1years old and because she cryed she put her in time out no mother wants there child crying and cant talk for thereself. so with that being said i decided to do daycare for my family. you cant trust everybody that looks nice. not trying to scare you, family member would be my choose
Why not both? If you can get a part time Nanny that you trust, she could work 2 days a week. With the money that you save you can put her in daycare the rest of the time. Make sure both are reputable and someplace you trust…Maybe you can entice your nanny to do the part time work until you are able to find someone who you trust.
I think a nanny is better. While day-care is more social, a nanny is more personal. I think it is an important thing for a child to have that personal relationship during the day when no parent can be home. They get that personal attention that young children so need.
A stay-at home parent is always a good thing to have, but I feel that dedicated parents can care equally well for their children.
Both my man and I work, but we set up for flexibility. We work out of love for working, not simply for the income, so we are able to be more flexible with our schedules. Sometimes their father stays home for the day, sometimes I stay home.
I am going through the same dilemma, my son is 6 months old, I have to go back to work soon and my hubby and I had to decide…we are opting for nanny until the baby is older (like 1-1.5 years), and then allow him the social interaction of a daycare. We are still very afraid of letting our little one stay with a stranger while we are away, so we will probably install nanny cams, and tried to do as much of a backgroud check as we could…right now we are going on our instincts about the person, and then praying for the best. I will be making frequent surprise visits as well…I wish all the luck, this is my opinion for now.
How sad that taking care of her yourself isn’t even an option you’ve considered.
A 9-month-old in daycare. Nothing is more sad.
I think nanny is a safer option because you can’t possibly get to know everyone that works at the daycare well enough to know its safe and theres just too many people involved. A nanny is a much more personal option too. The child will have a chance to make a better bond with the one person taking care of them as opposed to the many different people.
I vote for neither. How about quitting your job, downsizing your lifestyle and staying at home with your precious little one? I did it and while it was really hard, it was worth every single bit of struggle.
my mom placed me and my sister in daycare [she was a single mom, my sister was 2 i was 6] and my sister was doing sign language at 3 and they started teaching me French at 7-13 and i took come classes in and out of highschool and now i am 16 and speak fluently. my sister was reading at 4 and i was doing advanced math and reading in school when i started daycare. im glad my mom opted for daycare because i also had kids to play with and we were well cared for. i was also babysat and that wasnt nearly as fun or would have benefited me
Daycare, but you need to find a legit daycare, with a small staff to child ratio. I say daycare because as you mentioned, nanny’s are quite expensive and quite an undertaking. While a great choice, if you can find a quality daycare, preferably with NAEYC accreditation, and low ratios, you should be happy with what happens. Definitely check the places out first though
I’d say daycare because your daughter can develop social skills being around children her age, on the other hand a nanny can give her one on one time and undivided attention. The only thing I worry about with children 5+ is the cruelty children can show other children when mom and dad are away, but your daughter seems younger than five so I’d say a trustable, friendly, nanny whom you know very well.
Well, depends on how social your child is. If you get a nanny and have no other children, your child will not learn any social skills. At daycare your child gets many social skills and friends.
Hope this helps [:
Most certainly day care yes the kid might pick up on a bad word or some bad habit but its all a part of socializing.In day care the child communicates with other children and develops its social skills and picks up on many things that will be useful in life. Cutting the kid off the world will cause A WHOLE LOT of problems in the future its better for the child to certify its position in life at an early age. Children that don’t… are more prone to pick up on far worse habits than saying a curse word or two like… Drugs and Alcohol. Its lack of social skills will will often cause it to be the loner kid in school or try to draw attention to himself by trying to mimic what other kids do and most often they take the most bad things. Even bullies have a big part to play the child learns how to deal with problems and fight(not literally) for his beliefs.
daycare. Find the very best one you can. Nanny-cams have shown us all what can go on when you are away and some angelic-seeming woman is left alone with your child. I would leave my child alone with someone I didn’t know VERY well, for a long period of time. So, though the nanny idea seems more personal, daycare requirements are very strict, and monitored, in most cases, by licensing. Give Montessori some thought.
oops! Meant to say “I would NEVER leave my child alone with someone I didn’t know VERY well, for a long period of time.”
If you can afford it, which you can if you choose to live more modestly, you are the one who needs to be raising that child. And, it will harder than going to work and hiring a nanny or dropping her off at the care, but your mothering is what she needs, not the $800 stroller.
I ran a successful graphic design business from home with a part-time nanny while my first seven were making their way up the diapering ladder. I put my eighth child in daycare at age three and took a job as a web page designer at a private university when my husband dumped us.
Like TEJ above, my son also learned a second language…Spanish. Unfortunately he learned only the choicest of words and other delightful tricks such as hitting, spitting, hair pulling and punching. He treasured them well into the last quarter of kindergarten at the Christian school all of my children attend. After my 33 pound 5-1/2 year old foreign language cursing firecracker had been sent to the office for the third time in the first month the principal, who knew my children to be well behaved, fine mannered, ladies & gentlemen told me she thought to herself that she didn’t know what she was going to do with this one because he was a handful.
I say, somebody stays home or you hire a nanny with values and discipline style much like yours. No, they aren’t cheap, but you aren’t going to get a second chance at your beautiful little lady.
Blessings!
bearing in mind that the best caregiver of your child is you find a trustworthy nanny. someone that you really know. you wont like to hear what my baby went through. i had to ask my mom to babysit her when i’m at work
I’d say stay home and be there for her but i know that you probably are too busy to be there for her so i’d say daycare; make sure it’s a trusty place
Really, I think it should be the parents raising your baby, but if this is just not possible, I would rather leave her with friends, family or a nanny than a daycare centre. They don’t get the same one-on-one attention and are exposed to other kid’s bad habits and germs. Really, at nine months, babies don’t socialise, they learn…and they should be learning from their parents rather than other kids.
You shared your personal situation, I’ll share with you mine. I am a mother, (3 children) , a teacher( 1 & 2 grade), have worked in a daycare, I have cared for children in my home and in their own. From experience and knowledge of children from birth to 18, I would say that I have had enough experiences and opportunities to provide you with a confident oppinion that applies to the general population of children that I have seen or am the mother to.
Now, with that, I see a few areas that are different from yours and mine and that being the nanny situation, as I never could have afforded that.
Alright, Your question: my first gut opinion? Do not put your child in day care if you do not have to. Now please know I say this full well knowing that next week when I go back to work to teach the wonderful children of my area, my daughter will start her first day in, yep, you guessed it, DAYCARE! She will be four in September. I see children daily, children that never went to daycare, children that went to daycare for a small time, and children that went to daycare from 6 weeks of age til they entered school. From what I have seen and would testify in court to these thoughts and observations, children that go to daycare usually have a more aggressive, loud, and demanding personality with a real fight or flight response to many situations that would not always need that type of remedy. I’ve seen this numerous times. Children that have not ever been in daycare but maybe have spent time with family members, nanny or their own parents as they grew to the age for school are more relaxed, patient, calm, and a softer spirit and usually a more proper way of handling disagreements or negative situations. Now when I say this, I in no means would say that those children are passive or withdrawn and lack the ability to get what they want. They just don’t resort to screaming, crying, fighting, or any other type of physical confrontations. Now with my own children whom have never gone to daycare, except my daughter who will go for one year, they are very active in school, leaders with their peers, very mannered to others, and I would say mature for their age. They also make good grades and can have a conversation with anyone of any age. It seems that they have an ability to be comfortable in most situations. I was a mom that stayed at home with the boys who are now 15 and 11. We were very socially active and involved in many community activities including sports, and playdates with other moms. I Went to work teaching school in 2002 and have worked ever since. My daughter was cared for by her grandmother when I worked the first couple of years and in the last couple of years, my husband and I worked our schedules so that he has been able to be at home with her during the day. Its been the best situation for our family. I worked in a daycare, a good daycare that was a top choice for parents in the area, and even that daycare provided many situations and people that I wouldn’t want my children to be a part of. Overall, I am not saying daycare is bad, I am just saying that due to a child being in a group of children all day, multiple days a week, they do pick up on behaviors to get attention and have their say in what they want. If you just look at a daycare situation from a childs view, you are in a group of beings that want the toy you have, want the attention of the one adult in the room and are going to do whatever it takes to get that at times. Just my opinion based on my experiences and observations. I did not write this to be flamed or debated, I wrote this to just let you know what I would do if I was facing that decision. Any situation can be negative if the environment or people in it are negative in some way, only you know what your life is with your daughter and only you are aware of the nanny that is caring for your child. Just think about it and do not feel guilty once you make your decision. Just make it work for you and your family so that you have a life you don’t question or regret! I didn’t plan on writing my life story but it seems I sort of did in a brief synopsis. If you have anymore questions or would like more information (I’m doubting you’ll need that) just email me anytime.
Thanks for reading,
Kimberley
I think nanny , because when I was lil I came home saying every bad word you can think of and other kids are soo mean I had some hit
Comment posted on August 9th, 2010 at 4:21 pm by jessie
Nanny. A nine-month-old isn’t going to ‘socialize’ with other children. What are they going to do, sit and throw things at each other? Get her some personal care, if it can’t be you, at least let her have one familiar person looking after her. A little ‘socialization’ is one thing, playground or park for a couple of hours, all day stuck with strangers is another.
I put my son in day-care/pre-school and all I can say is that it’s the best thing I ever did. He is going into 3rd grade now and he is at the top of his class. High Honor Role. He adapted much better to the classroom environment because of his exposure in pre-school and way ahead of the game mentally because of early education (letters, numbers, ready, spelling, etc.). I give credit to his pre-school for most of that. But you really need to research the pre-schools 1st because not all of them have an actual curriculum as my sons did and I have heard horror stories about some of them. Sorry about the spelling, obviously I didn’t go to pre-school, lol. I thing its really important for their social and educational development to have that classroom environment. And the sooner they start, the farther they will advance.
Well my mom is a Nanny and she’s very good with the kids she has taken care of. I say go with a Nanny you know is a good person and will care for your child individually.
DAYCARE
My friend she is a fabulous nanny.. would you want her info?krystal
If you are really looking for that home environment and are not in a place to find another nanny. I’d suggest a Reggio Emilia day care. They strive to be like home, especially with little, little ones. They also foster a very creative education. I’m currently a nanny working on my masters, and never was fully a real early childhood teacher. But have a degree in Early Childhood Education and did my student teaching, and many observations at schools with the philosophy. It’s becoming the “in” thing so it may not be too hard to find either, but you should also look out for the fakers.
Good Luck!!!
i think home is the best place for your baby ,cause she still needs you more than others your her mom not the nanny .wait till she gets older .Good luck to you and your baby
Why did you have a child if you did not want to raise her. The child needs you not a baby mill were no one loves here. rethink your priorities you will never have the chance again you will miss so much. This is a child not a pet. My opinion
I would go with a daycare. Nannies are nice because they stay at home with the baby in their ‘comfort zone’ but they are also human and can end up being late for work or missing work completely. With a daycare you have the security of knowing they will always be available (unless something major happens).
I’ve gone both routes and ended up having to miss work (and getting in trouble for it) because our nanny would come in late or not at all.
Some daycares are cheap, some are pricey, you need to go with your gut and decide which one is right for you and your child (if you go this route). Remember, you get what you pay for though.
And depending on your religion, there are also many churches that offer daycare as well, often for much less than your standard daycare.
It’s a shame that you have a child just to let someone else raise it. I raised my 4 great kids along with my husband and family. They did not have outside babysitters. EVERYONE who ever watched them….LOVED them.
Wow… some people here are absolutely delusional thinking that everyone can afford to be a stay at home parent. Hello… our economy is crashing…
If you can afford it, I would go with a nanny for at least a few more months – maybe until Baby is 18 months old. The nanny can take her to social classes and such, and you’ll get the added benefit of knowing that your child is being taken care of – instead of neglected at daycare because one child is throwing a tantrum while yours plays nicely.
Not all daycares are as bad as this, but even the ones that are don’t usually realize what they’re doing when they spend their time and energy on one “bad” child. If you do decide to go with a daycare, I would recommend taking some time off (if you can) and spending a week or so with your daughter in the room she’ll be staying in. That way you get the gist of what her days will be like, and you’ll feel more comfortable.
I’m going to have to say day care is more beneficial to your child than a nanny would be. Although, I do feel like 9 months is a little bit too young to have her put in daycare. She will need the social atmosphere- but maybe not this soon. I’d say for now until she’s about to and a half to three years old you might want to stick to a Nanny.
daycare. iv done both and found that though a nanny would be convenient in some ways, they are inconvenient in others such as when they need a day off etc. also, a good daycare provides a safer and more stimulating environment for your baby.
im still home over 2 yrs w/ my toddler. i love this situation best though we’re short on one income. i feel this is most ideal where im here to teach and oversee my child myself.
I think you should stay home and look after her yourself. There are so many options open to you, you could set up an office at home and work from there, keeping her close until kindergarten.
Suggest a day care. Safe with other kids, learn to socialize and more important learn to ‘stand up’ on her own. Don’t think u can really afford to provide 24hr personal attention. Thant no gud in long run anyway.
One thing we did was to find a wonderful in home daycare. This did not move into preschool so it was only for a few years than if we needed her to watch the kids if we went out she was almost always available.
This older woman also never allowed any bad behavior period. If the child was rude they got called out for it, if they fought they were timed out, if the over whinned they also were removed from the other kids. This is what I would do in my own home if I had that amount of time to spend with the kids. Look for someone with your same values and a nice home enviroment. Good luck
Many of these smaller in home day cares can be very loving, and structured. We found an older woman who was firm but caring. The kids napped at a certain time, ate at a certain time and played outside at a certain time. We loved the structure and the personal touch large stand alone big daycares just can’t do. We did overlook that this was not the nicest place on the planet since we knew it was inspected and approved. We wanted the loving grandmother type person not the color of the walls or carpet. She even had a great dog for the kids to pet. This worked great for us!
I say Nanny. At 9 months there is still a lot of separation anxiety and it’s not just for Mom and Dad but also for familiar surroundings. We tried a daycare with my son when he was around that age and after 3 weeks we removed him and got a Nanny. It was an awful experience because all he did was cry from the moment we left the house until the moment we got home and after a week he cried every time we got in the car because he thought he was going to daycare. We brought the Nanny in and by the 3rd day he wasn’t even crying when we left the house for work anymore.
Some of the other side effects of the 3 week daycare disaster was weight loss because he refused to eat. A dramatic increase in night terrors for up to 2 months after the experience. Not wanting to go anywhere in the car for a few weeks after we ended the daycare.
That said though, some kids adapt very well to daycare. My son is 3 and while we only need a part time care taker now, he would probably do fine in daycare. We take him to a drop in center and he is there for up to 4 hours with no issues now, however it’s an occasional thing.
Your best lead for finding a replacement may very well be the Nanny that is leaving. She may have a friend she knows and trusts that would love to take her place. For us family has been a god send. Our new caretaker is my hubby’s cousin’s younger sister. My son calls her his girlfriend LOL.
I personally feel that for any child under 3, the best place for them to be if they can’t be with Mom or Dad, is in their own home on familiar territory.
Good luck!
At this tender age, they don’t need “peer pressure”. They need all attention to grow into confident children who can handle future peer pressure. My husband and I both work and don’t want to have children until I can stay home (at age 42, this will probably never happen). Every week, my cousin’s babies come down with a cold from the other babies in the day care. She is so sad when she missed their first words.
With a nanny the baby gets more attention but she will connect with her instead of you. I was raised by a nanny and I would turn to her with my problems instead of going to my mother. Even after I grew up I would never forget how she would comfort me after a nightmare and how she like to play with me.
But these are good scenario’s of trusting a child with strangers…
You really never know what happens with your child, when you are not around…
I used to have a nanny, it was great because she knew me well and knew what I liked and didn’t. This is great when you have a baby because they need close attention and can be fussy. As I got older my parents started sending me to day care. Day care is great when a child is old enough to communicate well with others through words. Then the child becomes socialized with other children. Another great thing about day care is the child will not become attatched to one person like the nanny, or the parents which will help with the transition to preschool and kindergarted later on.
I say have a nanny for the early years (up to 2 or 3) and day care after that. Keep the nanny for the weekends though, because day cares aren’t usually open on weekends and nannies can be more fun (mine used to take me to chucky cheese and she could also bring me to sports practices and classes, something you won’t get at most day cares).
I would wait unti 4 for day care. You would miss out on some much on developement and changes. That you always want to be the 1st to see. 1st word, 1st crawl, 1st stand, etc. I would not trust anyone with your baby that could cause trama for the rest of her life.
I vote for neither. You need to stay home and take care of your daughter — not some stranger in a day care! Any mother who puts their child in daycare so they can go to work has no business being a mother at all. How dare you put your job ahead of your child! Your husband needs to go to work while you stay home and care for your children and family.
First, the obvious, the blogger didn’t ask for a moral judgment to be passed on her personal family decision to work outside the home. Nobody here knows her family situation and it isn’t any of their business to make a comment about staying home. If we made such a comment about SAHMs, they’d rightly jump all over us.
Answer: I think there are advantages to both, but things you need to be very careful about with both as well. With a nanny it is crucial that you very carefully check her criminal and work background. There are no other adults in the home with her when she is there caring for your child to report or stop an unsafe situation. Even if she cares for your daughter well, she would still have access to your personal records etc while in the home. You would need to make your expectations very clear. If you expect her to take your child to gymboree or the park, you need to check that she actually does that. I lived next door to a “nanny” who treated her charge well enough, but looked at the job as a way to keep her house clean. She’d leave the employers home, and return to hers to do chores.
With a daycare, you need to carefully check licensing and violations. You need to be sure that it’s clean and well run. You need to be sure that there aren’t too many children at the center to make care impossible. Some licensed home daycares are excellent, others park the kidos in front of the TV nearly all day. Some allow the kids to curse like sailors, not all do. Some parents curse in front of their kids and your nanny might just do that when you’re not looking. You’ll have to really check them out.
At 9 months., I think it’s a bit early to worry about socialization. As long as the adult is interacting with your child in either setup, that’s what she needs. Find a situation you trust either way and even once you trust it, come back and double check. Drop in when you aren’t expected. I did that once to a daycare and pulled my child, because the arrangement that I set up wasn’t being followed.
A safe daycare is great for children to socialize. It brings back memories she will always have(: I always hated babysitters, there was nothing to do.
Neither of them. You. You took on the responsability after deciding to become pregnant. Stop trying to be a man and be a mother for your child.
Where are you placing ads for nannies?
What city are you in?
I am an experienced nanny and would consider helping you out until you find someone permanent.
I would go and check out the daycare before you go… My daughter goes to one daycare which is a great daycare and they treat her really good and the teachers are all sweet and my other two school aged went to another daycare and they were horrible. my oldest hated it because they would yell at the kids and they wouldnt let him sit with his younger brother because he sees him at home anyway. The point is that make sure the workers are experienced and not some young kids that dont know about having patience or being professional because it does make a difference on your child.
I think Day Care is more safe because Nannies might look nice and all but you never know what will happen unless you know the Nanny really well and you trust that person. Day Care has a group of children so it is more entertaining for your child. It’s good for them to make more friends and socializes them teaching children to communicate better.
I can appreciate you wanting advice,but God gave you
& hubby that child to raise,so do what you do best! Grow with your child,if someone else raises your baby will you know him /her afterwards?
I agree with Sharon. A 9 month old doesn’t need to “socialize”. A 9 month old child needs his/her mother (or father) as their primary care giver. Not hired help. Kindergarten is a perfect time for a child to begin socializing. A child thrives by having one, constant, familiar care giver for the first two years of their life. Make the sacrifices, your child is worth it.
When my son was 8 months his mom wanted him in day care. we put him in. he was a happy little boy spoiled but happy he was walking and starting to talk at 9 months. Then one day he came home sat in a corner and did not say anything. I told his mom something was wrong. anyway long short of it is I never took him back. soon he was his old self again. one month later a girl that worked was arrested for slapping a child a one year old. I would never put my child anywhere till he or she could talk good enough for me to under stand him or her. Of Course this was 1988. things have changed still you have this information. Your child is adorable. have a blessed day.
a daycare diffenitly for miltipule reasons nanny you don’t know them and it’s only 1 person around with your child and studies show that children who have nannies get to connected to nanny than their parents and family which can be bad daycare- there are other kids to play with usally 2-4 people to watch the children and it’s tyipcally cheaper and safer
you’re her MOTHER,. YOU take care of her
I have varying views on this depending on the family.
I would LOVE to stay home if I could, but that isn’t a possibility for us. Being as this isn’t a possibility neither is a personal Nanny which would be my next option for staying home and going to school full time (I am finishing my degree at night right now).
So, my husband and I have been forced to go the route of daycare… That being said, I am happy with our daycare. They have been open for over 30 years, a non-profit for working mothers, and the woman who started the place still runs the day to day operations well into her 80s.
My daughter is 18 months old, loves playing with other children, is very socially adapted, has been learning sign language (great because my god-daughter is deaf and I understand her signing to me), and is overall a VERY HAPPY BABY. Yes, we have had issues with illness because of other children, but I also know that her immune system will be ready for when it counts (kindergarden and beyond).
So, if I had the money for a personal nanny then I would be staying home with my child (and the one on the way), but instead we have opted for a daycare that I can’t complain about.
i would say daycare, as i have worked in a nursery before, and the positive points are that the child doesnt constantly have one on one attention, and so will learn to play by themselves, they also get to interact with other children and learn to share more effectively. i would recommend though that you both take one day a week off work though, because she needs her parents too
Nanny all the way and by the way your baby is adorable!
nanny. fo sure! im 18 and i still know my nanny. she is the adult i trust the most. i consider her my best friend. she bails me out of bad situations and lies to me for my mom when i miss curfew. but she also talks to me. she teaches me things about life and helps me to get to know myself. she is the best person i have have ever know and has literally known me my whole life (nanny to my older sister before i was born too). i would have to say nanny. yes they get friend experience in day care. but they get a role model for life with a nanny. you just have to find the right one. its worth the search. someone WILL fall in love with that baby. For the next 30 years of her life. I know my nanny will be at my wedding, just like she was at every one of my birthdays and both of my graduations. And if you still want your child to get friend experience as a toddler have her go to day care and the nanny can pick her up. i did that for a few years too.
Maybe you can try and put your daughter in daycare for only like 3 days a week and the other days have a nanny come. It will be less expensive and also will let her interact with other kids, but still get the personal attention she wants and deserves. As your daughter gets used to daycare, have the nanny start coming less often until she’s finally ready to go to daycare all week. This way it will also be easier on you to know your daughter is happy and adjusted.
How about taking care of your own kid? That’s why you had her, didn’t you, to raise her yourself?
It breaks my heart to picture that precious baby (or any baby) being left in the care of strangers for nine hours a day. Yes, they are strangers. They aren’t mom or dad, and the turnover at day care centers is high. Babies don’t need socialization. That’s what families are for. Please reconsider ALL your options. Working from home, changing your schedule, taking a couple years off. Raising a child is the most important thing you will ever do, and the first few years are critical.
Cute baby! I say that you should find a good family home day care. To me, you get the best of both worlds. With a family home, you get the hours of a day care center. Your child also gets the one on one attention that a nanny would give. Most family homes only are allowed to have six to twelve children at a time. If you consider day care centers, do some deep research about the center. You have the right to ask about the teacher’s and their education and training. You have the right to ask as many questions as you need to feel comfortable.
she could be on the cover of parent mag she is gorgous baby yo0ur truely blessed ok that said i say nanny for one more year closer to her second bday she is to small for daycare center my son cryed all day and sat in playpin that was not his own and got a cold all in 3 days we got a nanny but now he is 3 and very happy in daycare
Speaking as someone who has worked as a nannylong term for 3 families and in 2 private day care centres, i would say NANNY! only by hiring someone you feel comfortable with will you have piece of mind while at work. You have no say in who a day care centre hires, the jobs are by and large taken by young girls without enough childcare experience. I know i wouldnt leave my child with most of my ex work colleagues! you have more say over your nanny’s routine with your daughter and by having a nanny doesnt mean your daughter will have no social interaction, there are lots of groups your nanny could attend with her. good luck with your decision. ps- your daughter is beautiful!
I think if you research the daycare you should try a daycare but it is a personal decision in the end you will have to make the choice. Sit down and write down the pro’s and con’s of each place. Research the daycares & nanny’s available to you and then make a decision. Daycares allow children to learn to interact with one another but a nanny your child gets more personal attention. The choice will be yours to make but research in depth the child care and nanny before making a decision.
What about a nanny-share deal with another family? The downside would be that it might take a while to come up with the right situation, but the upsides would include being somewhat more economical, still maintain more personal attention than a daycare, yet also include more social interaction with children. A friend of mine has successfully used this arrangement, and been quite pleased with it.
Neither. Your baby is still way too young and needs a mother. Honestly, a nanny or day care will not love your child. I worked at a day care and was placed taking care of babies and it was frightening. I didn’t last long at the job. Your baby will not get held. I was told not to hold the babies because then they would feel like they always would need to be held. The only interaction you baby will get is when it is fed or changed. Some babies never stopped crying the whole eight hours they were there. Many cried for hours, crawling around because the workers were busy feeding/taking care of the others. Or simply did not have enough hands to hold them because they were already holding two babies. Also, there was always several babies who were sick. I got so sick that I had to to take several weeks off. They still wanted me to come in, though.
You need to be there to parent your child. It is your responsibility. Not a nanny’s.
I vote for daycare. The pros outweigh the cons:
Con-kid will get sick
Pro- immunity is built so less school time missed as she gets older
Con- bad habits (someone above mentioned)
Pro- She’s going to learn bad habits anywhere outside of the home,be it now or in elementary school. I’d rather my kid learn about biting and then not biting, or saying “poopy face” and being corrected, VS punching and then being in trouble or cursing and then being in trouble at an older age.
Con to nanny- not always reliable/dependable (lord, do I know!)
Pro to daycare- No matter what, you have someone to watch your kid., Daycare centers CANT call out sick, bring a boyfriend over, or get in a car accident while transporting your child to a park. Safety first.
And, I think it’s great you are a working mother, i am too. We’ve had a nanny and she called out sick for DAYS at a time, and we had to back up, causing us to lose lots of PL at work because hubby or I stayed home. Now, my youngest (3) is in daycare (on site where I work) and he loves it. He’s made friends and talks SO MUCH now in full sentencess. We were struggling with potty training because we didn’t know if our nanny was REALLY on the same page as us, or just saying she was.. and his first day in daycare he made it through the whole day no diaper/pull up and no accidents.
Oh.. and btw, yes “other kids are so mean” as someonme said… but don’t you want your kid to learn to cope rather than be scared and sheltered?
I think daycare because you said she likes the attention. Why not send here there when there will be 3 or 4 people who can give her all the attention she needs. Even tho she is still young you can start her socializing skillz early that she will need for the future. If she just socializes with you guys and her nanny if might be rough later in life for her to make friends(im guessing..). So why not send her off and you might even squeeze a few extra alone hours b4 you have to pick her up. You can check out the daycares and make sure they are up to your standards before you send her off!
I would say day care. A trusted clean day care and you can always get opinions on it from other people on which one to go to. This way she will be able to interact with other children. It will be more fun for her. Can you imagine her playing with toy blocks or dolls, other kids laughing and giggling by her side? Imagine that cute child alone and it almost makes me want to cry.
Neither. Do not place your child in the care of a non relative until he/she is able to speak and knows the difference between past, present and future.
In most areas in the US daycare workers knowledge about child development is limited to the behaviours of their own children and rooted in archaic and sometimes harmful customs. Putting Tabasco on a thumb to discourage thumb sucking. Not realizing that for children your child’s age suckling is.
Such low standards exist because day care workers are severely underpaid. Most day cares are sponsored by churches, work places or worst of all kiddie mills that do not/will not pay a COLA salary to those with nationally recognized knowledge of child development. IOW not a mickey mouse certificate from the University of Phoenix or a certification from a here today gone tomorrow nite school.
As for nannies,Do you really want someone in your home you don’t know? Who claims to “love children” and uses their friends as “references”. Agencies can’t be trusted either. Their bottom line is money not
your kids well-being. Heard of Matthew Ephram.
Source: Many years as teacher
As a former daycare owner, I wonder just what your priorities in life are. You had a baby now you want to turn her over to someone else to raise. No, you are not doing the raising if you work. I do know. I hate to be the negative in your world but handing your child over for 9 hours a day to someone else at such a young age is letting them raise your child.
hey I honestly would say go with a nanny, think about who you want to help raise your child. I worked at a day care for years and as much as we all tried the truth is that it didnt seem like we gave the kids the one on one attention I wish we were able to. We were always on feeding and napping and everyone was different so it was a shame the way the quiet kids were just put down and the kids who were crying got all the attention and it broke my heart.
Anyways I really feel for you. I hope all works out well. God bless.
I say daycare. I left my daughter in the care of a nanny until she was 10 months. I did like the nanny, but I think it was so much better for my child when she began daycare and was around other children her age. Yes, there are drawbacks, but honestly there are drawbacks to any situation, even staying at home with your child. My sister in law is a stay at home mother and her child is having a much harder time adjusting to being in a preschool setting than mine did because he hasn’t been around other children and doesn’t know how to interract with them very well. He also was later in learning alot of things than mine, and I’m not saying he is not as smart it’s just that he didn’t have the learning environment she did.
There is a website out there that offers nanny service.
http://www.care.com
I would check it out all you have to do it register and you can get background checks and other information. You can even post your own ad for caregivers to respond to you.
Good luck. I was in your place and opted for a Nanny. My schedule demands more than what child care centers can provide.
I say nanny. Personally, I have worked both at a daycare and as an in-home nanny. Children who are in a daycare (even the best of the best daycares) get less attention, personalized learning, etc. Nannies may be a bit pricier-but it’s for a reason-there are no other children for your child to be exposed to illness from, no worries about head lice, chicken pox, etc. And, a nanny will do what YOU want, not what they want. Daycares just do things their way…even if a certain thing isn’t the way a family does with their child at home. A nanny will provide 1 on 1 attention for your child, help her learn and grow, and have a closer bond with the child and their family.
If you are not in the place to get another nanny, you should look in to a day care (home or center) that uses the Reggio Emillia Approach. They strive to make it homelike, they are every respectful of infants knowing their own wants and needs and know how to listen to baby. As they grow reggio allows very creative children a safe place to grow and learn (by mostly teaching themselves.)
Please don’t let the negative feelings of some people make you feel bad, you love your baby and obviously are doing the best things for her.
if it isn’t you it should be the nanny.
Julie said-”Honestly, a nanny or day care will not love your child”
…What a load of crap. I nanny for two families, and I love the kids as if they were my own. I cried when my 9 month old got her shots….that’s just one of many examples. I love my kids (that I nanny) more than life itself, and I would do anything to protect them.
Caitlin said- “Nannies, you can never know.”
…nannies can be MUCH better providers than day cares. Although there are the exceptions, 90% of nannies are in the career because they love children and want to help a family, not for the money. I encourage families with an in-home nanny to install “nanny cams”, as well as include their nanny at family get-togethers, outings, etc. This way you get to know your nanny on a more personal level. Many more cases of abuse or neglect have happened in a daycare setting than in a families home with a nanny.
She also said: “You need to be there to parent your child. It is your responsibility. Not a nanny’s.”
Although this has been a very long debate, not all families can afford to have one stay-at-home parent. There is no reason to make a working parent feel worse than they already do about leaving their child.
Chantel said “Daycare centers CANT call out sick, bring a boyfriend over, or get in a car accident while transporting your child to a park. Safety first”
What about all the children left in daycare vans, weather they lived or not? There have been plenty of daycare van accidents, and many deaths that would have been avoided if you have a nanny-a nanny is much closer with the children she is providing care for, and would realize if one or more children were missing. Daycare drivers just drive for the money, and don’t even bother to check if the same number of kids get OFF the van as they did on. Many daycare centers, weather in-home or institutional, will have less-than qualified workers hired, because they cost less.
Kara said “Why not send here there when there will be 3 or 4 people who can give her all the attention she needs.”
Those 3 or 4 daycare workers will NOT be giving your child the attention. 1 is doing enrollment paperwork, food program sheets, etc. 1 is trying to put the crying infants to sleep, 1 is trying to make snack and lunch ahead of time, and the other is trying to seperate the 3 boys fighting. Your child will only get attention in a daycare setting for the negative things-getting hollered at for hitting, biting, or fighting. They won’t get 1 on 1 attention, story reading, etc.
A Foss said “Who claims to “love children” and uses their friends as “references”.
A responsible parent would make sure that a nanny-to-be had references that were of past families, weather the person nannied or babysat for them. They would also make sure that the nanny bonded and interacted well with their child before hiring them. A responsible parent would also have a background check done, etc. and get to know the person ahead of time.
I wouldn’t go with a nanny unless you know them personally and can trust them wholeheartedly. I know that kids have alot of fun at day care, and they are safer there, in my oppinion. I would go with day care.
Were you raised by day care and/or nannies or by your parents?
How about your parents – who were they raised by?
How about all our ancestors, for a few thousand years?
Giving baby up to someone else, is a terrible social experiment…
Nanny and nanny cam. Also let your nanny know that your relatives and friends might be dropping by anytime to see the baby.
Day care centers are germy nightmares. I know because I worked in one . Great owner, great manager , nice hardworking staff. Still too germy.
Nine month old babies don’t have to get a long with peers.Infants don’t play with each other. They play next to each other.
I wouldn’t do either. Who do you want raising your child, you or a stranger? If you have kids they deserve to be raised by their parents, not a daycare or a nanny. If you aren’t able to care for them then don’t have them in the first place.
Glad to hear you’ve enjoyed your nanny! Everyone has a different opinion and what is “right” really depends on the family and child. A nanny is very nice for an infant but as they do get older, socialization becomes more important as well. Here’s a thought for you to consider…how about home-based care? It’s still a smaller group but does allow for a bit more socialization. I’ve babysat, worked at day care centers and presently a home-based program. Like any care setting, you need to do your “research” but a high-quality family child care is worth so much! There is an organization through Canada I believe that is called “The Best of Both Worlds”. This is a group of teachers who provide home-based care. I love that name…it’s so fitting for my own home based program. You can bet there will be more individualization and meaningful relationships in a high-quality, home-based child care. Good luck in your decision making!
Why on earth would you have children if you are not going to raise them?
The only option, IMO, is either you or her dad staying home with her. Rearrange schedules or live off one income if need be. Yes, that might mean changing your entire lifestyle and doing without in some areas. Your child is best served with her parents, not some day-care where no one loves her and she doesn’t get personal attention or a nanny that just wants a paycheck. Children do not need “socialization” before the age of five. They will learn social skills in due time. You can teach her how to behave when you go grocery shopping, out to lunch, or to the park together, as well as teaching her many other great lessons out in the world around her. Your child will benefit best from YOU.
I think these people telling you to stay home are rediculous. Yes it may be one of the best choices, but some people, in fact probably most people, can’t afford to do that. Maybe they don’t even want to do that. People may love their kids but may also enjoy their careers.
Now then, I think at 9 months she could start bennifiting from social interaction. I’d have to agree with checking backgrounds and other records. Maybe even spend some time at the day care center.
how about staying home with your kid instead of letting someone else raise her?
As an experienced babysitter and nanny, I would never give you that short of notice on something like that. I think that’s really unprofessional.
I would put her in daycare for the time being, just so you can have some time to find another nanny and so you wont have to rush and will have time to find the right one. A nanny is really nice because the child gets more attention and you can trust them to get to know your child.
Ask other parents you know about whether they have anyone they would recommend. That’s how I get most of my babysitting jobs. You might even meet someone through the daycare, so that would be another good argument for temporary daycare.
Hope this helps!
ok! if u go into daycare go into a family owned one. NOT a franchise one. the owners inthe franchize dont care about u. just the cash!
please listen when isay this!!!
NOT A COMPANY OWNED DAYCARE!
From personal experience, I would say that having the home care is much better. I was raised alongside my 2-month older cousin by my mother, and there were absolutely no downsides to it. We knew few other children until we started kindergarten, but that never was a problem when it came to meeting friends. If you or your husband can’t afford to stay at home with your daughter, try to arrange for a friend or relative with a child her age, if possible, to take care of her. My cousin and I are both highly social, top of our class students, and active in both sports and our communities. This way, she will get the social aspect of other children, but also the one-on-one care that she needs at her age.
If none of those options are possible though, I highly suggest a nanny. I’ve nannied for 4 children over the past two years, and they seem to be much more involved and well-rounded, let alone better behaved, than children in a daycare center.
In today’s society, there are many benefits of hiring a nanny:
1. COST. If you have two or more children, it may be cost effective for you to hire a nanny as many daycare centers can cost you more. Also, many families are using “nanny share”. This is an arrangement in which two families share one nanny. This cuts down on costs but you still experience the benefits of having a nanny.
2. HEALTH OF THE CHILDREN. You may have healthier children by keeping them away from the large groups of children typically found in daycare. Germs are easily spread from child to child, so daycare centers can be breeding grounds for every cold and flu of the season. When your children contract illnesses, it takes an emotional toll on both you and your children. Further, they may miss school, you may miss work, and you may incur expenses associated with doctor’s visits and medications. Your children’s exposure to germs, and thus the risks discussed here, can be dramatically diminished by simply using the services of a nanny.
3. WORKPLACE PRODUCTIVITY. If your children are sick, many daycare centers will not accept your children. However, if you have a nanny, you can still go to work as the nanny will stay home with the children. Further, if you have an attentive nanny at home with your children, you will be less likely to feel like you just can’t concentrate at work due to concern for your children. By staying focused at work, your workplace productivity remains high.
4. HOME WORKLOAD DELEGATION. A nanny can help you maintain work/life balance. For example, a nanny can be an extra pair of hands helping with household duties such as laundry, errands, transporting children, and starting the evening meal. This allows for more quality family time when the parents arrive home. No need to rush in the morning to get the kids out the door for daycare or school: a nanny is an extra pair of hands in the morning.
5. MARITAL BONDING. Many parents become so over-committed with the tasks of working full-time on top of parenting, household maintenance, and a host of other daily responsibilities, that tending the marital bond simply isn’t on their radar screen. Years later, it may be too late when the couple realizes that they have grown apart. A nanny can help prevent that. Nannies can watch children in the evenings (which many daycare centers will not do), thus allowing parents an opportunity for a romantic evening out, or maybe just some private just-the-two-of-us time. These relationship-building evenings help maintain the marital bond.
6. PEACE OF MIND. Daycare centers have… http://tinyurl.com/yakn7ws
Depends why you go to work and what your circumstances are but your child will receive the best care from you. If you go to work to pay for the second car, a bigger house, regular new clothes, dining out and a fancy social life then you would find that this is all not important if you can be with your own child. These type of priorities are all wrong!!! Why have a child if you can’t be with her/him!!! In my experience the most balanced children are those who have had the comfort, love and security from their own parents. I have raised my daughter alone and have always been there for her. She is one of the most polite, respectful, caring, pleasant, balance, grounded, centered children i know. Good luck with your discision. It is only society that makes women feel that it is normal to hand their children over to somebody else. I lived abroad for a long time – there 95% of the women do not work when they have children and that is in a country with a much higher standard of living than here. Living here is like a rat race – crazy!!!!
A nanny that is devoted to her job is there every day, devotes herself to the job. All you have to do is find the right nanny. The right nanny will be available at short notice, take your child out, do light housework, etc. A nanny is much more benificial to a child’s development. Trust me. One was in daycare til kindergarten. Our second had a nanny. The child with the nanny does much better in school, was ill less often, is more socially ept, etc.
I worked at daycare and have to say that they are far from great however I’m thinking a nanny is not much better because they get no peer socializing. When looking for a daycare look for one that has 2 teachers per classroom. A low teacher student ratio is a must. Also consider one with video surveillance so that you can see your child on the internet any time you want. Believe me I’ve worked with a lot of women that parents thought were great and as soon as the parents are gone…HA!
Well my mom has her own daycare which can usually have more than one person which means more people to care for your baby. a nanny is alone. just find a daycare with plenty of experience. that’s my recommendation. by the way, your baby is so CUTE!:)
The kid doesnt need a social environment yet, its only 9 months old, ur trying to justify sending it to someone else so you can . . . work? Wheres your prioritys, work first family second.
You should be at home until the child is at least in pre school. Letting other people raise your child is not responsible behaviour. The first 5 yrs of a childs development is the most critical, thats where most families go wrong. The child is at its most intelligent stage of life, they learn a language, to read write and every thing they need to survive before the age of 5 more impotantly they learn morals and values that are important to you and your family, not true if someone else is raising that baby. I can see money has more importance to you then ur baby. TRUTH
“Wow… some people here are absolutely delusional thinking that everyone can afford to be a stay at home parent. Hello… our economy is crashing”
This is for the most part NOT true. And someone else mentioned how this person didn’t ask for us to judge them just to help with a decision. Well if you ask me (and you did) the options you give are both bad.
I am a married mother of three children ages 8, 4, and 1. My husband and I have busted our butts and really had to do away with many “things” in the past few years but it was all worth it. We have been able up until last year for me to stay home full time with our kids. Now let me tell you something I PROMISE you that we make less money than the woman asking this question and we raise three kids! Our children have everything they need and then some, and most importantly we got to raise them.
Last fall to make ends meet I had to finally take a part time job. We have worked this out so one of us is always able to be with our kids. There is no way I would ever put a nine month old baby in daycare unless there simply were no other options. The thing is so many people say they can’t afford any other options but they drive brand new expensive cars, have brand new furniture, the latest electronics, etc.
Here’s the thing…your precious cooing baby won’t be a precious cooing baby forever. This time will be gone before you know it and you will so wish you had it back. You are very likely to miss out on some very huge firsts in her life.
And as far as her needing socialization. Come on shes NINE MONTHS OLD!!! It’s not like she’s a five year old who’s been hidden in the house away from people all her life. I’m assuming you have friends and family and that you do venture out with your child right? I mean what exactly do you expect her to be doing at nine months old with other kids? She’s a baby, she needs her parents.
Now I am not stupid enough to believe that every mom or dad is the type that can handle being at home full time. I will be the first to admit that going to my part time job is a heck of a lot easier than taking care of three kids. Having said that there is no way I would ever have sent one of my kids to a daycare or with a nanny at only nine months old. The child has absolutely no defenses and cannot tell you should anything go wrong.
And as far as the person who said daycare kids are advanced when it comes to learning compared to kids who have been raised at home? Okay this I really truly doubt. My guess would be that kids that stay home would get more one on one guidance and therefore be ahead of the game because of it.
Please understand that I am not judging those who truly honestly have no choice but to put their child in daycare. There are people who really do have to. I will say in my opinion however that the majority of people just choose to.
And yes in my opinion children are better off with their parents until preschool or kindergarten. However if you think you have to take your child to somebody at least try not to till she’s an older toddler.
I say day care! It’d be great for her to develop social skills early on — she might even have some friends to go to Kindergarten with! And good day-cares can even teach her school skills.~
Also: Your daughter is so adorable!! ♥ >w<
I think that it just depends on your preference. Personally, if I could find a good daycare, that’s what I would use, and only use a nanny if I knew that person beforehand.
Also, I don’t see why people think it’s wrong to put kids in daycare and with a nanny. A lot of people might not make enough money to only have one person working when there could be two, and if they don’t work, they won’t be able to take care of the child at all. That would be like saying that it’s wrong to put kids in school because only you should be teaching your child.
I don’t know if Layla will see this, but I want to apologize for the post that I submitted yesterday. I think that it was deleted, if so, thank you to whomever deleted it.
Thinking outside of the box might help. For example, where I live there is a daycare center for special needs children. It might be the best-kept secret in town that this daycare center also accepts children who do not have “special needs.”
Two of the kindest, brightest young men I know went to this daycare center before they were old enough for school. One just graduated from Notre Dame University on scholarship and he isn’t even Catholic
and the other (a schoolmate of my youngest son) will enter a good state university next week.
Nanny v daycare isn’t really the issue. The issue is what is in the best interest of Layla’s daughter. If there are good daycares available and a shortage of good nannies, and if Layla’s not able to stay home with her daughter, then better to go with a good daycare.
There is a lot more to successful child-rearing than nanny v daycare.
Looking ahead, there is a book that I would like to recommend to Layla: A Parent’s Guide to Building Resilience in Children and Teens: Giving Your Child Roots and Wings, by Dennis Ginsburg, M.D. (American Academy of Pediatrics)
sorry to say, for people like you, money / job / stauts etc is more important than your child. you can pay any price to someone to take care of your sweet little daughter but i pity you don’t have time for your daughter, and i feel sorry for her too that she will be raised without motherly and fatherly love!!!
You have a adorable little person you are growing there.
Here’s my take. Change is a part of life. But where you wouldn’t expect her to butter her own toast right now you also can’t expect her to integrate with a mass of other children. What she needs to learn at this point in her life is derived from her sense of security. Personality is formed in the first 5 years of life. Early daycare will have a vast impact on that sense and she will not be the same person she would have become with different stimulations and circumstances.
Everything takes steps. She hasen’t even taken her first. Enroll in a mommy and me class or a play group with her. Ease her into socialization. Take your cue FROM the child.
Overstimulating her with seperation from you and dad and nanny and into an enviorment she is not used to will be a bit overwhelming.
Her caretaker does not have to be a nanny…it can be a stay at home mom with a few other children. You can even ease her into day care 1 or 2 days a week.
My biggest issue with daycare is when a child can not speak or defend itself you are putting you littleone at risk. Dropping a 3 year old at daycare you will know what happened all day long
You will also be able to read them better if you see personality changes.
The issue I have with a nanny is you are splitting your childs affections with one caretaker other then yourselves. Then, in the case you are facing now the child will suffer the loss of the secondary caretaker. Sometimes it’s best to have 2 secondary caretakers this way if one can no longer do the job you still have stability. Each will bring thier own unique blend of caregiving to the child.
I fostered well over 200 children, all ages and many with medical issues. I found rotating 2 regular babysitters to be my best alternative until they were potty trained and then we started 1/2 day preschool.
It is you and your husband is the best to care your baby, nothing else, ok? No nanny or care center.
Honestly, I would say a family member. other then that neither. my friends sisters son was beaten to death by a worker in a daycare because he wouldn’t stop crying. Hiring a nanny is entrusting your child to a stranger in your home, a situation that opens up problems that can start at theft, at the best. a family member is always the best bet, especially for a child this young. If you both have to work, see if an older or retired family member would mind watching the baby, or even a friend that could be free. I would start sending my child to something like that maybe at the age of 1 to 3. personally, I don’t like the idea of a nanny, unless again it is someone you know every personally.
IMO if you can afford a nanny then yes do that. My daughter is in daycare and is always bringing home some kind or cold or virus every couple of weeks that makes everyone miserable and causes a couple of trips to the doctor before its all over. Plus babies can pick up bad habits from other kids. I swear my daughter was an angel when she just had me for company and after a couple of weeks in daycare she pushes and hits people when she is being fussy. A nanny also can provide one on one time. I know I would have had a nanny if I could have when my daughter was that age.
I am a single mom of 3 boys, ages 7, 11 (almost 12), and 15 (almost 16).
My youngest started daycare at 3 (I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with him until then). I loved his daycare, the teachers, the curriculum…BUT…He was ALWAYS SICK!!! It drove me nuts! My middle son had the same problem in daycare, except I hated both of the daycares he went to. I was so happy when they became old enough to go to school.
I have had barter situations where I have had a live-in nanny who exchanged a place to live for child care. One time I was not happy with the nanny, although I really liked her as a person, she just didn’t seem to have a lot of common sense or a lot of knowledge in child rearing or care, and what’s scary is she had her own baby!
I have found another nanny and this woman is amazing! She’s a doctor. She has two PhD’s one in clinical Psychology. She is not currently practicing though. I don’t pay her anything, she lives with me completely free in exchange for watching my kids during the day while I sleep (I work graveyard). She also cooks dinner and cleans up afterward on the nights I work, less stress for me
She also does the kids laundry. Once the kids go back to school, she will have part of the day free, and she will pick the kids up from school for me and watch them after.
Based on the information you have given, I would suggest that you get a nanny who will do a nanny share situation if you want your child to interact with other children. You and another family use one nanny to watch each families child/children together. It’s less expensive because you and the other family split the childcare cost! No daycares to worry about whether your child is safe, or going to be sick all the time. Win-Win situation
Cute baby
I say hire a nanny.
I assure you, daycare should always be the absolute last resort. Nanny is the second best thing to do- assuming Mom or Dad can not keep the child, which would be better. Once baby reaches toddler stage and is potty trained (around 3yo) then socialization may be desired. Even then, a pre-k learning program is better than daycare.
I feel so strongly against daycare that I would recommend either mom or Dad to rethink their careers at the present and one take leave until the child is ready for pre-k.
Daycare is not a good place for socialization. This may sound rude-but, daycare is a place for people who can do no better. If your child could ever learn bad behavior, it can be at a daycare center filled with other children that can be somewhat neglected and ill-raised.
A grave mistake at this stage of their life almost guarantees problems later on.
Heres the issue. Not ALL nannies can be trusted. I’ve been a nanny for twin boys since they were 5 months old (they just turned 2yrs) and I love them like they were my own children…I’m not sure they would have recieved the same care from any of the other people the parents interviewed. I was shocked when I was told that I was the only person upon interview arrival that went straight to meet the boys. The parents told me every other person (who was offered coffee/tea or piece of cake) walked over the boys and sat on the couch. I remember when I got to the front door and knocked, I could not wait to see these 2 little babies…I didn’t want the cake or coffee, I got on the floor and played with them for a few minutes. The parents told me after they hired me that that was one of the main reasons they chose me over every other applicant. I thought I would be returning to school this september, but decided to stay until the boys were a little older….and the parents were so relieved. This is a doctor/laywer couple who are very observant and intelligent people and they are dreading someday having to put their boys in daycare. As a doctor the mother knows that daycares carry all types of germs and diseases, not to mention if your child even so much as has a cough or sniffles they have to be taken home….which puts an extra burden on the parents.
My answer for you is definitely a nanny….a nanny who can take your child(ren) to parks and play groups and all types of fun things. I take the boys everywhere. I plan activities, dance, sing and read with them, we go outside in the huge backyard that has all types of fun things to do. I will be taking them to an underground marine museum next week so they can see all the sea life up close. I can’t wait.
The RIGHT nanny can teach your child(ren) more than a daycare can. Especially if the nanny is active and fun-loving herself. But please, be wise and careful when interviewing. Research and have background checks…and even if you trust her/him install a hidden camera, so that if you ever think something funny is going on, you can play back and watch. Better your child’s safety than their privacy. Just make sure you’re upfront with them….and dont tell them which rooms do and do not have them.
Good Luck with your decision.
I just enrolled my 10 month old in daycare. I was so scared at first that she would be miserable and cry the whole time. But she loves it! I get reports everyday and they always she she was happy, dancing and clapping. The only way I would ever use a nanny was if it was family or a very close friend. You can’t tell peoples temperment until they are in a very stressful situation, and you have no one watching over them caring for your child like you do in a daycare.
Daycare
Just as there are many stories about bad daycares, there are likewise bad nanny stories (why is there a ‘nanny cam’ industry. However, I think there is a benefit to daycare in the exposure of children to other children. Studies show that kids who attend daycare are actually better socially adjusted than those who don’t. They learn to play with other, conflict resolution, etc. Also, their immune systems are stronger because of their early exposure to a greater variety of minor illnesses.
I have 4 children, ranging in ages from 18 to 4, and all of them went to daycare. It is all about finding a good daycare with whom you have confidence.
I would have to say daycare. My wife has been a certified childcare teacher for the past 7 years. I have seen the prep work from 6 weeks to 6 year olds, and it is a fantastic curriculum. The teachers are caring, respectful, and truly devoted to the development of your child.
Jenn – I should have been more clear. Daycare workers are usually don’t really love the children. They are just there to earn a paycheck and are very stressed, especially taking care of babies. I’ve seen evidence of that. If the child is being cared for by one person (like a babysitter or nanny) love and bonding is more likely. The nanny is the primary care taker and the one who is actually raising the kid. That’s the sad part. The mom and dad should be there raising the kid and be there for all their milestones. It is sad if the child is more bonded to the nanny then there mom because there mom cannot be bothered to raise their child themself.
Why have a baby, if you’re just going to dump her somewhere while you’re off doing something other than RAISING HER !!!
The day will come that you go to pick her up, and she’ll cry because she’ll miss the nanny or daycare girl. She’ll fall down and get a little bump, and she’ll cry for the nanny instead of YOU. She’ll start calling the daycare girl ‘mommy’, and your heart will break.
What are you thinking !?! European telephone calls, shirt ironing and texting someone are more important than sitting down, paying attention and feeding your kid?
You have ONE CHANCE at this! My best guess is that if you really looked at your budget and your lifestyle, you could find ways to save hundreds of dollars a month on groceries, entertainment, restaurants, Starbucks, clothing purchases and other things that you don’t need. Your JOB, when you had your adorable, cooing bundle of joy, was to BE THE MOM – not be the mom whenever you get the chance in between your career.
When you had her, your lives (yours and your husband’s) became no longer your own. Your life became HER life, and you have to make your choices based on what is best for HER – not what is more convenient for you. She needs mommy or daddy to be there, not some person you hired on a week’s notice or to dump her into daycare.
This is my view. Harsh? Yes, but so will it be when your kid cries for someone else to comfort her, because mom and dad are too busy to be her parents.
No, it is not ridiculous to expect a mother to stay home with her children. It’s called lifestyle choices. You can make financial decisions that allow you to stay home. Even today. Maybe if you don’t go on all those vacations, don’t buy a couple of expensive cars or all those electroic gadgets you would be able to afford to live on one income. Keep in mind, your whole salary could blown on child care anyway. You could be working to be able to work, especially if you don’t make that much. Once you take out things like transportation and daycare costs, you might not have much left from your paycheck.
Hey, if my mom could stay home with us, ANY mother can. My dad worked as a postman, which did not bring home much income. However, there were six children in our family. Two of their children had major medical problems (one severely mentally and physically handicapped) which required multiple surguries and doctor’s visits.
I am a nanny, and I can tell you from both sides that a nanny is the better option. Nannies can give full attention to your child, unlike a crowded day care center. If your child is sick you have to take the day off work. If your nanny is willing to watch your sick child you don’t miss work. Day care centers are germ-filled and impossible to keep clean. They all slobber on all the toys and put something in their mouth that all the other kids have been putting in their mouthes. Nannies can take your child for dentist or doctor appointments so you don’t have to leave work, take them to the park, or to gymnastic classes. How many daycare centers are able or willing to do that? The children I am watching now have not had a cold all winter. They have playdates, and they get to play with my son. A 9 month-old doesn’t really need to socialize. That is more for ages 2 before they start getting ready for pre-school.
Nanny at that age is better then daycare. Or if the grandparents live near by have them watch the child a few days a week
Great Blog Layla! I totally can relate on what you are expressing. I would say, LOW RATIO daycare would be the best shot and enroll your baby part-time daycare until your little one can talk and let you know how she has been treated. Good luck and Congratulations for being such a wonderful mom, and for also giving so much to your community! You Rock!
I think it is time for day care. I worked at a day care with my daughter when she was 2 months old. She learned SOOOO much! She watched all of the older children and she absolutely LOVED it!!!! I was really depressed when I had to move back home with my mom in a whole new state and rip her out of the daycare when she was 10 months old. It really messed her up too. She missed being around all of the children so much.
We went a whole year and 2 months before she was put back in day care at 2 years old. In the time she spent at home with me she was getting all of this one on one attention all the time from me, my mom and my younger brother. I found this to NOT be good. She has now lost pretty much all of her social skills with children her age. She loved children before and would almost forget that I existed when they were around.- which is in fact a really really good thing. She is now only attached to adults only.
She has been in day care for 3 months and things are going much better. When I drop her off she still yells at any child who comes up to her to say hello and screams “NO! That’s MY mommy!” and runs to the teacher in her class. But while I’m gone she has become close friends with one of the children. She’s disabled and can’t get around so my little one likes to help her.
I have to say, people always think there is a certain age kids should begin day care. This is not true. Kids learn from playing. They also learn more from playing with children than adults. Nothing will go wrong in day care I promis. It’s really good, great experience for your child and she will enjoy it so much! This in fact is the perfect age to really start right now. She can watch how all the other kids crawl and walk and play and learn from it. Day cares also have strict schedules, so she would be eating all her food and drinking all her bottles when she should be.
I can only tell you what was right for me and my family you have to do what is best for yours.
I have 2 sons 4 years apart, with my first son I cut work back to part-time and when my husband or I couldn’t watch him my mother did for me this was the best option because it gave me some independece and adult conversation. It also gave me a chance to miss him and made me treasure our time together all the more.
I got laid off while pregnant with my second son and I became a stay at home mom. It was hard for me and suffered from depression first from not working, then added to that was post-pardem depression. When he was 3 I went back to school part time and he started to the day care that my older son went to preschool at. It was easier to let him go there part time because I knew most of the staff.
You don’t face an easy decision and no one has the right to judge what you do in the end. I do suggest family if possible, a nanny or a very small daycare would be my next choice for myself. I would avoid large daycare centers. Always check with the BBB, other parents in your area, and even physicians offices.
Good luck!
Whether your daughter goes into day care now or later, or not at all, eventually (from school, relatives, kids at the park etc) she will learn bad “things”, but she may also learn good things. So it doesn’t really matter if you put her somewhere out of the home or not. But on a social note, before she starts school, it will be good to put her in a day care (whether center or home) so that she can learn to socialize with other children (so she’s not socially awkward at school), & so that she can get used to being away from home – start her coping skills early. At this age, a nanny is fine, but at around 1-2 yrs old, it would be best to slowly start putting her into a day care.
Something no one is saying, seriously, why not hire two college girls, either one for afternoons and one for mornings or one can take Monday/Wednesday classes and the other can take all Tues/Thursday classes. If you love this nanny you have, then ask her when her classes and are and maybe you can hire a second college student who has a different schedule. If they are in college and working for you, you don’t have to worry about them leaving you to go to college.
Just don’t hire one of these cheap immigrants. Even if she has her own kids. I went to a friend’s house to pick up something when her nanny was there and I was waiting outside, she walks up without the one and half year old. I asked, “where’s the baby?” She said, “inside in the carriage.” She left her in the carriage while she took the older kids to school/busstop. I told this story to a woman and she told me how she instructed a girl to call her at work when it was time to pick up the older kids from school. She worked in the area and was able to take her lunch then or something. The woman never called and she asked her what she did and the nanny said, “I just ran reallll fast.” A stay at home mom told me the immigrants at the playground aren’t watching the kids. They talk on their cell phones. They don’t speak English so when your kid starts to talk, they can’t teach her words and stuff.
daycare. let the baby make friends and explore with children her age. the baby is adorable!!
good luck!
As a fellow day care worker, I wouldn’t send my child to daycare. Even the top daycare centers hire inexperienced workers, and care more about the money than the child. At least with a nanny you can interview the person who will be working directly with your child. As for socializing a child doesn’t really need peer based socialization until about the age of 2 which is when a child is learning and beginning to understand social skills. The best thing for your child would of course be you at home, but unfortunately in today’s world that’s not always possible. Daycare centers are usually under staffed, and can’t provide attention to each child as needed. The staff isn’t always hired based on values or experience, and although a background check is done, it doesn’t mean the person is going to be good with children, or a good person at all.
I have to choose neither. I don’t want someone else raising my child when that is suppose to be my job as a parent.
I think the best place to take your child is to a day care at someone’s house ( not a commercial building).
These are usually smaller, cheaper than big crowded day cares, and less stressful.
Your child still can socialize, but there are less children, so they don’t get anxious (one is lonely, two are friends, three is a group, four is a crowd, 24 is !!!!!).
I think personal nannies and commercialized day care are both terrible options. Nannies are too stressful for the parents, who prefer people don’t wander their house (even if they don’t steal) and commercial day care is too stressful for children.
At that age, I would say nanny. For a child under 2 years, that one-on-one attention is the way to go. Over 2, then yes, day care. They’re ready for learning and socializing on a bigger scale by then.
It’s a shame that some of the people here are passing judgement on those who don’t have the luxury of being able to stay home full-time.
Day Card they are alway there an teach the kids new then before they go to school
If you can’t be there yourself, I would go with the nanny. Babies need a stable environment, and while socialization is nice, I think making sure your daughter has a constant in her life is more important. Children in daycare situations always strike me as needy—constantly vying for attention from the staff at the centers.
Choose a nanny who will work out for the long term…and your child will be happier, and more secure.
Daycare
1.Kindergarten IS NOT the time for socializing any time is the children who do not interact well with children are often the kids who sit on the side too shy to play with other children later on who get held back when they get to school because they still won’t and that child was me.
2. One on one attention is not always needed the ratios are usually about .5 more of a worker needed than with older kids for children under the age of 2 (the reason many daycares only go from 2+)
3. Infants are seperated from the older children who “teach bad habits” and play with eachother most of the day.
4. There are so many workers there is ALWAYS someone watching your child or someone there to see what goes on with another worker or child.
5. Sanitization and safety reqirements are thourough and crazy any certified daycare that SHOULD be open will follow this. Daycares are always checked up on and can and will be shut down if they do not function properly.
6. It is fun for the child, there are a variety of activites and toys from them to enjoy and they are able to make great friends early on and learn proper social skills
7. The longer you wait to leave your child with people other than mom and dad, family or just one nanny the harder it will be later on if you eventually put them in daycare or put them in school. When parents wait till the child gets older it is often VERY hard for them to adjust and they may scream and kick and throw fits when you drop them off which isn’t fun for them you or the teacher or worker.
Honestly it is often harder for the parent to deal with the child in daycare than it is for the kid I have seen many parents worry and stress over it when they dropped them off for the first time and then that same day seen the child freak out because they didn’t want to go home because they were having so much fun.
A lot of Home daycares are terrible I went to one when I was a child and we were pretty much all left in a room by ourselves watching tv, the only time I remember seeing the woman who ran it was when she was on her computer in the room.
Not all of them are bad but I still believe regular ones are better they have more staff, more kids, more activites and the majority of the time much better and more qualitied workers than a mother who doesn’t want to go back to work so she decides to start a home daycare instead and favors and watches her child more than the others.
neither this is becuz u need to spend time with her
I think that you should do a daycare. I like daycares because then your kids can socialize and make new friends. As for a nanny, they just babysit the kid(s) and it’s most likely just going to be them, and no other kids. But if you decide on a daycare, make sure it is Government approved, and it is sanitary and safe; that the person who is running it is, like, a psycho or anything. Maybe ask some of the other parents that have children that go to that daycare some questions about it. You don’t have to follow my choice, as this is my opinion. Feel free to do whatever you want.
Hope I helped, and good luck!!! =]
Have you thought of a home daycare? My mom operates a home day care its not as full as a regular daycare would but they still get that close attention. Home day care providers have to be accreditted and have Supervisors that come and inspect homes. They have to have goals set up for the children depending on their age. It is usually 5 children per home. If the provider gets the state license its 10 kids with an assistant.
o The people are loosing their moral while becoming modern. The
society needs to be attentive that moral value.
—–
Careers
Sweetie, your motherly instinct is the best advice you’ll ever get. I put both my children in daycare, because I felt I could and it would be best for them, and it’s worked out beautifully. My 15 year old was just accepted into a top 3 school, and my 7 year old is reading at 5th grade level. Fully social, funny, weird, sweet, loving kids. Nothing to do with others opinions, just my own.
Good luck, God Bless, and trust yourself and your husband’s decisions. Your children will be fine, as long as you give them time and love.
(and don’t smell their feet, it’s gross and it cracks them up!)
I think the best place to take your child is to a day care at someone’s house
I have to choose neither. I don’t want someone else raising anyone child when that is suppose to be there job as a parent.
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Careers
If your daughter is only 8 or 9 months old, what is she doing in a daycare??? Being taken care of by strangers and surrounded by strangers. Why can’t she just be at home with you and be taken care of by a nanny? I’m sure she’ll have plenty of time to socialize in preschool and kindergarten or even be in a daycare when she is older…Frankly, I don’t think she’ll even remember that much sisnce she’s so young whatever you chose to do but I think that is a very tender age and one needs to develop familial skills at the age. My advice is to get a nanny. That way she will learn how to relate to authority in a familial situation and you can still put her in daycare if you want as she gets older. Plus, she will be at home more often and you will be able to spend more time with her once you get home with work. You won’t have to drive all the way to the daycare. And, isn’t that what you really want and what’s most important? Spending the maximum amount of time with your daughter that you can as she grows up and getting to know her? Letting her know that you will always be there for her and a trusted loved one will always be able to take care of her?…I think it is. Family ties run deep. Plus, kids who go to daycare often end up kinda screwed up when they get older. They have…problems…mostly due to peer pressure and are more easily suspectible to being influenced by their peers…Now, I know you want her in an environment that’s sociable, but, do you really want to subject her to an environment like that at such a tender age when you don’t really who will be taking care of her and what kind of people will be running the day care center? And…most importantly, what kind of other people’s kids will be there at the daycare center. And what their parents are teaching them. Don’t you want to be able to engender in her one value system of what’s right and wrong and not be conflicted by others’ mixed messages as she gets older and hangs out around people who have values different from her own?…Don’t you want to be able to read a book to her at night and tuck her in as she naps during the day and tell her how your day went and pick up her toys and have a trusted nanny to help you do all of that and rest? Don’t you want to be able to monitor what’s she eating and what they feeding her and make sure that she is not eating candy and what kind of language she is being subjected to? Think about it…What do you want for her? Do you want the best? I can tell you this…I will soon be twenty and when I was six I went to a mother’s day out type of daycare. I still remember it. It was fun but I don’t think they took very good care of me there. I remember that I got a rash from the swingset and riding one of those little plastic metal horses. My mom didn’t know about it until I got home and when I was playing no one had been watching me. Also, I once remember banging my head against the screen of a glass door trying to open the door because I had been so small that I couldn’t reach it. I cried and I cried. And, no one, none of the caretakers were watching me that day. I don’t know if anyone saw. If they did, they just didn’t do anything about it then. I don’t know. But, eventually, my parents came to pick me up and found me crying. They took me home and my mom wiped away my tears. Now, I had lots of fun times there, I remember. Snacks, naps, fun activities, lots of friends. But, still that one incident stuck with me. And, I had been no more than six. So my advice is this: maybe she’s too young. She’s only 9 months old, after all. That is a very tender age. I would wait a little while if I were you until she’s a bit older to send her. Because sometimes daycare can be a real hassel. It’s not all fun and games, you know. But, it does definitely help with the socializing, so you probably look into it in a few years. But, for now, maybe there is someone at your husband’s work who knows of a good part-time or full-time nanny or babysitter. I would definitely ask around. Internet is the quickest way to advertise but I don’t know if that is exactly a good idea. And, I would wait until she’s at least 4 to send her to daycare and then proceed with caution. Because sending a child to daycare is a very big step, kinda like sending them out in the world a little bit to be on their own. Cept they aren’t too far away from home. That’s my adivce and my opinion. Take it or leave it. If I were you, I would do whatever you think is best for your precious darling, short term and in the long run!
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I recently went to see a talk by the psychologist Oliver James (His book is called “How not to f**k them up”) and he made some really interesting points about infant development and childcare. As a psychotherapeutic counsellor working with young people, this is also an area I am interested in (particularly as I will soon be having my own child!)
Children don’t develop the cognitive, emotional or social capacity to play with others until they are about 18 months to 2 year old. Until this time they need one to one attention. James’ argument was that so many childcare centres have such a high and fast turnover of staff, and so few staff per infant that the infant is unable to form a secure attachment to any one person. Attachment is the bond which allows us the develop into trusting individuals, able to form relationships. He also argues (and his argument is backed up by research) that a good nanny is far better because of the opportunity to form a secure attachment.
Hope that helps. For more stuff on attachment look a the work of John Bowlby, or Sue Gerhardt’s book “Why love matters” is also very good.
Here is an extract from Oliver James’ book in which he discusses the pros and cons of daycare:
http://www.selfishcapitalist.com/docs/How%20Not%20to%20Extract%20w%20Biblio.pdf
I would agree with the others in here. Children grow so fast & precious time slips away from you. I have raised 2 disabled daughters & a healthy son. All three of my children have grown up, so far, to be independent to the best of their abilities & well adjusted socially in spite of their challanges. (I am 52…my children are 32, 27, & 22) I attribute this to taking the time to be a full time Mom to them when they needed me most…in their early learning years. We not only are nurturing Mothers, but we are also their teachers. My hardest lessons of being a Mother is the lessons I have my “druthers” about. (I wish I had done this or that differently when my children were younger.) If you are questioning yourself so closely Layla, I would say you already know what’s best for your child. Listen to your instincts & your maternal instincts. That’s why God gave us this ability.
^ Gosh wish I could edit my typos…Instincts & intuition is what that should say. Sorry. I should practice what I preach, eh?
If u going to invest in a nannycam I say nanny, and a refered on with the way people are now days, and if u going to go with a daycare which I think is best may be a little more costly I say is best cause she is in the open with strangers and there are other kids there, which is a good and a bad thing with the germs and all. I say let a close family member watch her for the extra cash they may need.
If u going to invest in a nannycam I say nanny, and a refered on with the way people are now days, and if u going to go with a daycare which I think is best may be a little more costly I say is best cause she is in the open with strangers and there are other kids there, which is a good and a bad thing with the germs and all. I say let a close family member watch her for the extra cash they may need.
I say neither, I stayed home till my youngest started school, then updated my skills and took part time work till the youngest went to high school, then went back full time
I prefer a nanny !
the best reason is it spends the most attention on your kid
because when your kid’s in a day care he will have less attention
thats just my idea
the best stays of course to look for himm yourself but if you really can’t i’d take a nanny
She should be with you, why wouldn’t you want to be with your little daughter. I know daycare children, and they are never as smart. Either stay home with her, or get a nanny.
The choice is really up to you. A nanny would take care of your kid usually at your house, so if you and your husband want to go somewhere, you don’t have to worry about picking up your child from a daycare. However, in a daycare, your child will be able to make some friends and not only one person will take care of her. Hope this helps!
I would say nanny. I would wait to send her to day care until she can communicate effectively with you. Especially if you trust her. If something bad happens at daycare you want her to be able to tell you.
Well – the diversity of opinions is overwhelming at best! So, I’ll add one more –
Sometimes you just don’t have the “ideal” option to stay at home to care for your child.
Since you are are still breastfeeding (Kudos) – but have been leaving her – I’m sure you’ve worked that out – the fact is that by One – she’ll pretty much give up the breast/bottle if given the option of a cup -
As far as Nanny vs Day care – while a Nanny seems “safer” and may be more convenient(although more expensive) – it doesn’t give your child the stimulation that social interaction with peers would.
Being cared for one on one -also teaches her to be “demanding” and impatient – unlike having to wait a bit for her needs to be met. Not only will she learn from the other children (sometimes things you wish she hadn’t) – but hopefully, from a curriculum as well.
I would implore you to investigate the day care that you are considering (can you walk into the building off the street? Are all workers back ground checked? Have there been complaints? Talk to other parents, etc.) You may find that church-owned daycares are usually better run than “for profit” franchises or individually owned ones.
Research shows that a child does no better in school by being kept at home(even with the mother) vs day care. The guilt lies with the parents.
Your baby is a cutie – best of luck in whatever you decide.
I say go with a nanny again. Especially since you’ve had what sounds like a great experience with it. and with lots of people not being able to afford Nannies like they used to, you will have many to choose from and pick the one that is best for your family… and in reply to Nicole here above me, she says nannies and daycares are both terrible options… why would you prefer your child to spend their days in someone elses house when you can have your child taken care of in their own home… your baby will be more confortable in your home…and if you think about it, CHANCES ARE if I trust a nanny (or someone other than me) with my CHILD why wouldnt i trust them IN MY HOME… what can you steal that would be more important than my child? the answer is NOTHING. lol and you can control who the nanny has in your house, you CANNOT control who your childcare provider has in his/her home… actually a daycare would be more stable than someone elses in-home daycare… atleast they are required by law to keep the children safe (like on a school level, requiring ID and doing background checks on anyone working with the kids) you cant possible control that in someone elses house. and you also know for sure that your home is child- proof and clean… not necessarily the case in some one elses home…you dont have to deal with (for the most part) the babysitter’s husband/boyfriend being around your child (i hate to be negative, but you never know…)
sorry i just went on a rant, but that doesnt make since to me.
Good luck tho, im sure you’ll do whts best for you and your daughter.
I believe taking you kid to a day care is the best. because they learn so much so there. I used to work at daycare called Minnieland Private Day School and we had so many smart kids because we work with them everyday. so just think about it and see whats the best for your kid. And if you take them to Day care they will learn how to be social. They wont be shy around people. They will learn everything faster.
DEPENDING ON WHERE YOU LIVE. WE LIVE IN RENO AND HAVE A 20 MONTH OLD GRANDSON AND HIS DAYCARE IS $800 A MONTH.
I had my first child at 8 mths in daycare it was a nightmare she got sick and almost had to have a ear inplant bc,of so many ear infections she got lice 12 times and I was spending half my paycheck for daycare and the medical bills were insane.So,I quit my JOB and waited till she got into public schools for full time preschool.That worked out great and I knew she would be at better place with her teacher.Now,I have a 3mth old and I have date nights 4 times a month and I leave him with a experienced sitter with cpr etc.She has her own 2yr old boy and lives in good area of town.She was a nanny bf she left her full time job to care for her kid until he goes to school.
that is only person I am trusting now with my own 2 kids,my daughter lets me know how of a job her sitter is doing so that is a bonus.I will be going back to work when his in preschool or work nights so,my husband can watch them.even doing part time at night if I have too.I had so much issues with daycares period.I perfer at home family care at any times.Like my new sitter.
It can just depend on the child and what you are comfortable with. I have been a nanny for several years, and the parents have all loved having someone there to really care for their babies. The boy I watch is one of the loves of my life. My 4 and 6 year old are crazy about him. I take him to the park, swimming, play dates….or sometimes we just stay in and play and cuddle all day. His mother is thrilled that she has someone to LOVE her baby while she can’t be there. He was very clingy for many months, but he loves playing with other kids now. So socially he is fine. It may have also just been his personality to be clingy. Hard to say.
My BF sends her baby to the same daycare that my step daughter goes to, and it has not been a good experience for them. Her baby wont eat there, was getting sick all of the time, etc. But my daughter loves it there. People I know have had a good experience with smaller playgroup daycare. Like in someones home. If they have a few kids, its more affordable than a nanny. Also less kids to get your baby sick.
Good luck!!
i would say to wait untill shes two or one shes way to young my brother started early but he was with a person who was practically like family she took care of me and if u dont know this person dont do it!
good luck!
Daycare
I have worked in a childcare setting and as a nanny. I must say it depends on what you want. You want your baby to be more social-I’d say daycare. That also means you have to expect the good with the bad though. Kids can bite, hit, get hurt at daycares, probably more so than with a nanny. BUT day cares have consistant hours, you can pop in and not feel wierd about watching the caregiver with your child. Usually there is a curriculum, so you can expect some learning with a daycare.
The argument for the nanny would be a more flexible schedule. That person can take your child to the zoo, and other activities if that is what you want. But be prepared to pay for your childs activities and your nannies; otherwise it’s just not right. Also, you should pay for nannies gas if they are taking your baby around town. I think the nanny route is more expensive in the long run, you have less accountability and stability. Day cares don’t shut down because their car won’t start, or they are too sick to come to work.
Do your research on whatever you choose!! Don’t pick the first few either. Take a few days to look around and talk to other moms… online is a good tool for that!! Good luck!
If you have hidden cameras at home. NANNY
If you have cameras at the day care DAY CARE
I would not even trust my mother and would monitor everything. That is my answer to this article.
TRUST no one and leave nothing uncovered.
Pub Owner
Neither. Do the math on the cost of work, fuel, lunches, etc, and see how much you are really ahead. In the blink of an eye that beautiful little girl will be driving away to school. What will you have but memories? Two beamers in the driveway is not enough reason to have someone else raise your child.
Have you considered a home daycare? They are smaller with less children- so your child will still be able to get personalized attention as well as time to interact with the kids. It’s a great idea!
How are you going to feel when you go pick her up from the nanny and she runs from you to the nanny and says mommy mommy who is that person i am scared.
and i pity her more, poor lady, asking the world about her daughter. you are so materialized that you don’t seem to think and decide for your daughter anymore, instead asking others?
I am a babysitter for Mnm babysitting service and the thing i see that you need is a babysitter… well if you still need one i will be avalible.
Awwwww, the baby is adorable!! I think the child is still too young for day care; I would go with a nanny
After being a stay at home dad for a decade, and raising three children to school age and beyond I can say it was the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. We both made fantastic money prior to children. the day we found out she was pregnant we had an argument. She said “One of use will be a stay at home parent” and I demanded just the opposite. She repeated this daily for months, that I would stay home, or she would. I would repeat “we can’t afford to do this” and she would say “We can’t afford not to” She won, as usual and we looked at who made more money and who had potential to make more, it was her. We looked at who was better with children, it was by far me.
We’ve already passes up almost a million dollars in my income in a decade. Do I care? Not in the least! We scaled back, bought a cheaper house, sold both of our new cars and we both drive cars 15 year old or so. Paid for, and in reasonable shape. But not a brand new car, which I had grown accustomed to driving. We no longer had a 3,400 sqft home on a half acre. We sold it and bought a home that needed a LOT of work.
I no longer own 900.00 suits. I instead shop the clearance racks once a year tops. I no longer own 5-6 pairs of nice shoes, I wear the same pair of nikes for 2 years or so. Could we afford a nanny with both incomes? Yes, 2 probably. But I want to raise my own children. We have 3 kids now and they’re brilliant, polite and have so much of my personality it’s disturbing to good old mom at times, lol.
The point? The extra stuff didn’t matter. We eat well, have a comfortable home, have a small laughable nest egg and well adjusted children who know where they come from. My time is almost done and I honestly don’t care to go back to the corporate world. Not because I don’t want to work, but because the reward is so pale in contrast it’s just going to be a major soul crusher.
My advise? Cut your budget, cut your spending, make it work. Mom? Dad? doesn’t matter. The reward for your child is unmatched and the reward for you may be even more so.
I am work at a large day care on Sunday in the 9 to 18 months room. The babies who spend all day or week at home are so difficult. I have been nanny to my grandson now 1 year old. My daughter saw the trend and is using “KinderCare” a national day care chain. We are very pleased with his socialization skills. Baby needs them very early on. I raised my children in home day cares. I find they can be unreliable.
I liked one user’s answer: get a really good nanny, and use her for the next two years, and then you can send your daughter to day care. Also, there are preschools that take kids that are very young.
I would say that you and your husband should keep taking care of her, atleast till she is a year or year in a half old. Then it really all depends on who the care giver is. As a child I was given sleeping med. from one caregiver and sleeping pills with a towl placed over my face from another. Both time was at an at home daycare/nanny but my mother did finally find the right one at a preschool. So wait a little whild till your child is old enough to talk to let you know all that happened to they at the daycair or nanny. If you get a nanny you can install nanny cams in you’r home so you know exactly what is going on.
Hey! I would for sure go with day-care. I went there when i was younger and had lots of fun. It was a great way to make friends and if you find a good daycare you can make really good friends with some of the teachers. I remember when i went there my parents liked my teacher so much we had her and her family over for dinner. Daycares are great even for after school, they pick your kids up from school ( then you dont have to deal with the crazy pick up line). I am friends witha girl named anna, i met her in daycare when i was about 1 year old. i wish i could tell you more about how it is for baby babies but saddly i dont really remember thoes days. I do know that my parents really seemed to love me going ther and they thought it was a great way for me to make long term friends. Nannys are ok but they can always get sick, cancle,or quit. but daycare is always there. I still visit my old daycare teacher every month because of the fun i had with her.
I consider myself a seasoned mom having reared one child who is now 24 years of age- wonderful, bright, intelligent, wise, polite, well-spoken, adventurous, knowledgeable, curious about the world, well-read, computer savy, great conversationalist, humorous, a great singer, college grad, professional, and still likes to hang out with me. I attribute that to exposing her to many different ideas and situations at an early age, exposing her to people and learning how to adjust by example and modeling for her. I was blessed to have a nanny care for my daughter at a tender age where she was the only child. The older woman was definitely a cure-all in that she was wise and healthy and provided the kind of care I would. As she grew older, and became more curious, I knew it was time for her to experience other children her age, and have an enriched environment of colors, teachers, and exposure to a learning environment that I have examined, believe in, and trust. I think it’s very healthy and extremely good for a child of 2 to begin developing learning stages and social connections that are going to be extremely important as the child develops. Between what I have done as a parent, the family (village), community, contributions and growth from religious enviornment, as well as schools, traveling and exposure to other cultures and people, my child has received the best of all worlds and I believe that you will find the same with your son.
good gracas… enough with the guilt trip people… not everyone can stay at home to raise thier kid. there is nothin wrong in having someone take care of your kid during the day. thats what teachers do dont they?geez. I’m in high school so no, im not an adult but i am someone who remembers what it was like to be in daycare. there were times that i got sick yes, but guess what, i dont have to worry about chicken pox. keeping your kid at home just weakens their immune system. but anyway, i believe your daughter will make really good friens and beome a “social butterfly” if you put her in a daycare. Just my opinion. (and there are not that many bad habits to learn anyway from other kids her age. id be more worried about a nanny on the phone teaching your daughter bad words…)
I’d say a day-care (well-reviewed good reports) you’ve heard the good things for each side. Now the bad things:
With a Nanny, your child could become shy and less independent of the family. Could create struggl;es later.
With a Day-care, your child could learn bad habits and feel neglected if not sent to an upstanding day-care. My opinion: Choose the day-care but pick a good one.
Dear Layla,
I have been on both sides of this issue. I was a nanny for a while and a day care worker. Now I’m a mother of 2 girls (not twins).
I understand a lot of people think its better for the child to socialize and helps them to build a stronger immune system if they are in day care.
First thing children build a strong immune system not because they are exposed to germs it is because you feed them nutritious food with live enzymes to help fight the bad bacteria along with keeping sugary food and drinks along with junk food away from them during the fall/winter month transitions.
Back to Nanny vs Day care….. In a day care your child will learn to socialize with lots of adults and children, along with get sick often, possibly learn bad habits and good ones. The down fall is that you don’t really know what is going on while your gone. Some incidents are not mentioned to you and sometimes issues are not reported to authorities unless it is life/death issue. When I was being trained as a day care worker we were told not to tell parents or even lie to them if their child walked or talked for the first time while with us. Sometimes we were also told not to mention if the child was hit by another child, etc. Yes some people may say well its really no big deal but to me everything is a big deal when it comes to our child/children. (This is why I chose not to work in this industry.) As for a nanny yes its great that your child will have all this one on one attention and so forth with your child but you face the same issue; “What is going on when your not around?”.
A lot of people are not cut out for being a nanny or day care provider but they do it anyways. Yes, you will have those that really are caring, loving, and devoted to informing you about everything thats going on with your child but there are also some that aren’t so loving, caring and devoted.
The best thing for your child is you. Being a Mother is not a chore its a Blessing. Its not a Obligation but rather a Privilege.
Your child can learn so much from you and your husband. If your concerned about social skills then join a moms group in your area. I joined http://www.cafemom.com and met a lot of women and their children in my area. My girls and I have built a lot of relationships out of this and even created more groups for us moms and kids to get together like meall swaps, moms night out, etc.
If your concerned about finances then you can build your own business from home; for example Mary Kay, Avon*, Tupperware, etc. Avon is only $10 to start up and you can build an entire business, relationships with other people and make money while doing all that. The benefit of all this is that your child will be safe, properly cared for, and learn so much like reading,singing, etc all from the comforts of home while bonding with mom and dad. My daughters have learned so much while I’ve been a stay at home mom. Now that they started school they have a great time and show how much they missed me when they get home. My daughters have even told me thank you for staying home with them and teaching them. They are doing great socially and are hardly ever sick (which is great). My niece is another example she was talking and reading by the time she was 7 months now that she is a year and 8 months old she already knows all the states in our country. This is all because my sister in law decided to stay home, teach, train and bond with her daughter. They go to all sorts of places with other moms and their kids. She is a social butterfly just like my girls.
Ultimately, this is something your husband and you will have to weigh the pros and cons on. Believe me you will enjoy every minute if you decide to be a stay at home mom. I hope this helps your family. Best wishes to you Layla.
day care.
I wonder if all the expenses that go into the job (clothes, transportation, food etc), which means also getting child care (huge expense) takes away a substantial, if not all, of the second income? Do the math folks, it’s cheaper for one parent to stay home. How do people do it on 30,000.00, 4 kids, private school? Guess what. You need to change your materialistic attitude and just do with less (more isn’t better) and in the end you gain the unbeatable, irreplaceable experience of raising your own children instead of someone else rearing them for you.
Well, i guess the day care will be good for the children because there they are gonna meet someone new and learn new thing everyday , which is like they are going to help in the near future.
With all the day care horror stories that you hear in the news, why would ANYONE dare to leave their child at a day care?! Maybe it’s just down here where I live, FL, but I have heard things on the news that quite literally almost brings me to tears. Day care attendants that forget a child, only to find them dead HOURS after they first went missing in the first place, left on the daycare bus. Day care attendants found to be molesting the children that they are supposed to be caring for! It seems to me that they’ll let anyone work at these places. It’s that, or there are some SERIOUS flaws in their background checking system.
If you put some effort into it, finding a nanny way out benefits taking your child to a daycare. Nannies give more one on one attention. I’ve personally known people that have worked at daycare centers and I can say that I would NEVER put my son in a daycare. There are exceptions, sometimes the person working at the daycare center is a wonderful caring person that genuinely loves kids. However, more often than not, it’s someone that doesn’t even like kids just trying to get a paycheck. Those people can be cruel to children, and they often blame other children for their indescretions.
I have a 3 year old son. The first year of his life, I stayed home with him. After that, I had to get a job to help support us. Luckily for me, I pay $100 a week for my son to be watched everyday from around 7:30 am to 5:30 pm. My great-uncle’s wife watches my son. She is from Costa Rica and moved to the states with my uncle about 2 and a half years ago, I believe. She takes amazing care of my son. She also babysits my nephew, also 3 years old, for the same price. She watches a little girl too. She’s an adorable little thing, probably 2 years old. They are all so well taken care of. You can tell because they have fun at her house, they call her tia, meaning aunt in spanish. She teaches them things, including Spanish! She has been the BIGGEST help in potty training. I really am blessed to have such a wonderful nanny.
When I was a little one, I had the same thing. A friend of the family was my nanny. She took care of me, as well as did housework at our home. I suppose she was a nanny/maid. She was a wonderful person and treated me like I was her own. She was also hispanic, from Cuba. She taught me things and was very nurturing.
I would suggest having a nanny over a daycare to anyone, any day! They are out there. You just have to do your research. Do some digging into the person’s background before making the decision. Make sure that you have plenty of character references.
There are pros and cons when it comes to hiring a nanny. Allot of people have mentioned that a con to hiring a nanny is that your child is more isolated socially, because they do not interact with other kids as much. Obviously, a con for you was your nanny giving notice and returning to school full-time. Even with these cons, I am still a firm believer in nanny childcare and the individual care and attention that can be provided. I work for a nanny recruitment agency in Ireland (http://www.childcareagency.ie) and we organize play groups for children and nannies in the area to get together. Why didn’t you use a nanny agency. It makes the process much easier and alleviates allot of the stress when finding a new nanny.
if i was you,i would pick the safe,fun,reliable,daycare ever.a daycare that you can trust,that a lot of people counted on.really,some days,you need to make sure she is safe,that is your job.really,they grow up fast!and you don’t need her there all the time,play with her,daycare is nice,but you can take care of her to some times.i know its hard,but thats life!
At this age, definitely a nanny! It takes an effort to search for the perfect nanny, sure, but you can always go the nanny agency route. And if you find the right person, the benefits are huge for the child and the whole family. As for the socialization…please, a child this age needs attentive, loving, caring adult with whom she/he can develop trusting, emotional connection and who will carefully guide and supervise the child into social play with peers (which start to emerge some time in the second year) It’s not until the preschool years that a child really advances in social development through play and interaction with peers. For more information on benefits of having a nanny, go to http://www.mondaynanny.com/index.php?page=resources/Article_1.
As for day care?…As a student, I spend many hours in a day care (class requirements). After that,.. I promised myself to never put my child into daycare.
I think parents have no clue, how poor quality the care can be…
Nannys are the best way to go if you can afford them. They do more then just watch your kids. We hired a nanny and did extensive research and of course checked her background. She’s been with us for four years now and we are ever so greatful for her saving us a lot of hassle.