Ask Mike: The First Kiss
Hey Guys,
Consider the kiss. An odd custom if you think about it. Why is that two people putting their lips together for a short (or long) period of time the ultimate symbol of affection?
According to various sources across the Web, kissing isn’t as universal as we might think. Anthropology.net explains that approximately 10% of the human population doesn’t kiss. Another site writes that “kissing is apparently unknown” among certain cultures around the world. Some cultures didn’t kiss until Westerners showed up on their shores.
So, why do we most of us do it? An article from the UK’s Mail Online postulates that kissing may have started for more practical reasons — to fight off infection. By kissing a person on a regular basis, one builds up a resistance to germs. British scientists speculate that “a bug that is dangerous in pregnancy to be passed from man to woman to give her time to build up immunity.”
That’s one theory. A 2006 article from the New York Times explains that one anthropologist traced the first recorded kiss to 1500 B.C. India. According to the expert, “early Vedic scriptures start to mention people ‘sniffing’ with their mouths, and later texts describe lovers ‘setting mouth to mouth.’” After that, he believes the “kiss spread westward when Alexander the Great conquered the Punjab in 326 B.C.”
How Stuff Works writes that not everybody agrees if kissing is learned or an instinct. The article goes on to offer another possible theory for the origin of the kiss: a looooong time ago, human moms may have fed their babies the way birds do now, by passing along chewed up food into the baby’s mouth. A bit yucky, but no more gross than sticking your tongue down somebody’s throat.
What do you guys think about the origin of the kiss? Is it an instinct or is it something we learn? Pucker up and leave a comment below.
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wow, i’ve never thought about it like that! I just assumed kissing was natural, an instinct, cuz that’s the way it is in our culture. what an eyeopening article! =)
I think it’s something you learn, if it werent for tv , books, and PDA most of us wouldn’t know how a kiss was suppose to be properly executed .Yet most of us have practiced on pillows, teddy bears, or the first couple of guys or girls we’ve gone out with.I’m not sure, I can’t tell from my own personel experience.
I do feel that kissing is something that is learned. I don’t feel that kissing is an instinct. I know from personal experience. I’ve been with my partner for almost 2 years now and I can’t kiss. I don’t know how to do it nor do I understand the concept. It’s hard to learn how to kiss. I’ve seen video’s on line about kissing and I still struggle in that era. I love my partner so much but why I can’t I get the kissing concept? I don’t want my inexperienced kissing to effect our relationship. I don’t know what to do? I haven’t had prior relationships so maybe that’s the reason why I struggle with kissing. I love my partner so much and we are thinking about marriage. I just want to understand kissing!! I need help!!
yeah i think that kissing was learned but to most teens its a way to show affection
I think it is something we learn, and is not the ultimate sign of affection. Get someone chocolate instead of a kiss, studies of the brain have proven that chocolate is more pleasurable than kissing.
I think it is closely linked to sexual contact because it feels good and the mouth has loads of nerves in it. Maybe kissing developed from soemthing sexual into an expression of affection.
Actually, I really don’t understand kissing either. I always thought that kissing was kind of weird, but I’m guessing that people kiss just because of the shared intamacy. When I had my first kiss, it was cute, but it seemed like a funny thing for people to do.
I think to touch and be close to one we love is our instinct, and kissing someone is just a way of fulfilling that desire.
Maybe this touching happens around the face because the face is a more.. personal space. (Or maybe touching of the face is more personal in just our [American] culture.) But way back a long time ago, people were drawn to each other by their feelings and decided to touch lips.
That’s as far as my theory goes. ^_^
I don’t think it’s instinct. Some crazy person thought it up, peer pressure occured, everyone got hyped, now everyone does and knows how.
hi
are u crazy
It’s gotta be the chemistry !!!!!!!
Since kids are kissing/talking about kissing in little kid shows like on Disney Channel and Nickeloden, it is probably just thought as that is what everyone does. So in other words, enviroment does play a role. For some, it might just be a feeling or an instinct. It probably varies by person, enviroment, perspective on the topic and so on. But I do feel that since a majority of us all have grown up with it, we probably get the urge to kiss because of it, at least it contributes most of the urge. We might not even know that those shows have played a role in our lifes like this.
it’s something we’ve learned. we don’t kiss by instinct???
we kiss out of desire. I learned about kissing from tv and my parents. it’s just something we’re taught
I think it’s an instinct
This is actually something that I’ve always been.vurious about. Thanks for offering a few explanations
I don’t know about the history of kissing, but I know my own history of kissing! I’ve never done it, lol.
Great question! I’ve pondered this myself, and always thought how odd! Yet, I think it is an instinct, but, then again, maybe learned.
What do we learn from? Media I say. But where did movies/tv etc get it from?
Interesting article, and maybe some more research to be done.
This is so ironic that you posted this because I’ve actually been wondering about this alot lately! What made kissing so romantic, and who decided putting your lips together was so fun? Although this did sort of ruin the romanticity of a kiss, it answered my curiostiy! Thanks Mike
I heard that it is to pass pheromones to test the partner’s immune system. A healthy immune system means good genes for reproduction
Did/do apes kiss?
I believe in the Freudian definition…we start off being completely dependent on our mother’s breasts…then we become independent and isolated, and turn to sucking our thumbs. Then after a certain point, we long for the companionship of others, and suck on each others’ lips.
i remember reading one article on this subject,stating it started in roman times as a tactic by wives to see if their man had eaten a meal at another house that day or night. (i.e. to ‘taste’ and smell the husbands breath’)…
Interestingly enough, I learned that also when kissing, a male passes testosterone to a female through saliva. The increased testosterone in her body prepares her for intercourse.
when human being interact, touch is one of the most important senses. Given that touch can be felt better at high neuron density areas such as finger tips or face for example, this is one way to interact. It is only natural and a matter of time that a living intelligent organism would seek out the places that make them feel the most, in this case, the kiss.
Granted I don’t have a degree in whatever you need to have a degree in to opine on kissing, but to me it seems pretty obvious that people kiss because they face one another while hugging or having sex, and the mouth is full of nerve endings that stimulate your sex drive. Maybe we need to take a more serious look at Freud’s theories on breast feeding and oral fixations.
Hi, according to freud.. who studied sexuality in children.. the first sign of pleasure (for babies) is oral.. or from the mouth — like when they suck things or put anything on their mouths. So I guess it is human nature to express affection and/or to FEEL affection via our mouths. just my two cents. (and a half)
You’re close on kissing but not close enough. A smart guy can tell when a woman is ovulating by the taste of her saliva. It tastes salty & “yummy” when it’s time:
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/preconception/suspectingaproblem/detectingovulation/
what is look like and the feeling?
Kissing is an important part of showing one’s affaction towards some one else, especially between lovers.
According to classics on Sexology, there are hundres of varieties of kisses, some which common man may not even think of ! Anyway, kissing is absolutely necessary in situations where love has an important role to play.
It may be a trust thing. It’s kind of considered an expectancy to close your eyes while you kiss. Closing your eyes, baring your neck, exposing your face (which everyone feels they have to protect)…
i think someone tested it out once and it showed closeness and intimacy so from then on kissing is shown to be of affection and also it could be used to ‘discover’ one another, if you like.
seems archaic to me… like devouring someone with your mouth.
well thats stupid
I will agree and say that kissing is not innate and that we are not born with desires to kiss someone. I do, however, believe that kissing has become a sign of affection due to nurture and observing others around us. It could have started with the theory of “fighting off infection” because that does make sense. Nevertheless, kissing does feel nice and does create feelings of love and lust, whether it was made to fight off infection or not. I think that is what has made it become so popular and desireable and also that is what has made the form so long standing. Like I said, I do not think we are born with the idea of kissing people, but watching other people kiss has made it become what it is, an expression of love. Also, kissing has become a form of affection because creates a level of closeness and intimacy that other forms of affection do not, for example hugging. Hugging is a form of affection but it doesn’t create passion and intimacy like kissing does.
wow, i didnt realize that kissing was such a ‘new’ thing! or that some cultures dont even kiss at all! i myself have never been kissed, and i dont plan on giving them out to any hooligan i might meet. haha
thanks for a great article mike :]
I think that it’s fairly instinctual. The lips are one of the most sensitive parts of the body. Many animals like chimps kiss.
i think its more of an instict than something cognitive.When you look at someone you like, you notice the movements of his lips and mouth, so in a way your concious tells you how and where to show your attraction
I think it is a learned thing. but because it seems so natural here we don’t think of it as learned. think about it, babies are kissed and cuddled by everyone they meet. so as children we in turn kiss everyone we meet. thinking its a simple hello. as we get older we are taught kissing certain people may not be appropriate. so its refined into a sign of affection. In france it is a simple greeting between friends.
DAMN!!!
Wow… very interesting…. x)
I think it is definitely something that is learned. As children we see it taking place and it is the symbol of love. So wanting that for ourselves, we take part in the action.
Having read the question, its details, and the 39 responses that preceded mine, I arrive at the conclusion that our best interest would be served by letting the mystery be and just enjoying the fruits of the custom of kissing. We could, if left to our resources, think the romance of it right out of existence; and that would be a loss not worth enduring just for the sake of knowledge accumulation.
I never knew that! What an interesting theory.
its like they are sharing their breath, a basic, life giving act.
I think that its both… we learn it, and it’s an instinct… but I dunno(: interesting though…
wait, that kinda didn’t make sense(: haha… when I say that we learn it, I meant that we learn how… but its an instinct… okay, that’s better
I believe it’s part instinct, confirmed by parents. Mom kisses her baby….and does it frequently thereafter. That’s the confirmation part.
I did not grow up in a loving/touching family. Thus this is the instinct part. I love kissing, and being kissed. I believe it to be a strong sign of affection. In addition, it simply it feels good!
Hmm that’s interesting. I know this experiment could probably never be performed because kissing is so prevalent in society, but what if we had a control group that was never expose to kissing? Would they do it on their own?
“let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth, for your love is more desirable than wine” that is an excerpt from the song of solomon, which sets one of the first records of ROMANTIC kissing in the “golden ages” of Israel. however “Genesis 27:26
Then his father Isaac said, Come near and kiss me, my son.” is at the time of Ur, for all those who know their history, so kissing as a symbol of affection is recorded way back.
Personally I think it is a mixture of instinct, desire and teaching.
I think that kissing, whether mouth to mouth or mouth to hand/cheek/whatever is a symbol of affection that is instinctual. I think it has to do with breath.
The desire comes in with passionate mouth to mouth kissing which seems natural as an ongoing display of deepning affection.
the teaching comes in with things like frenching kissing, kissing techniques etc. I bet people back in Ur weren’t watching youtube videos on “how to kiss properly.” They would have been out there just doing it and learning what felt good!
i think people just something everyone grew up with.
it’s an instinct, to show affection in not so much of a sexual way. but this was really interesting. i liked it.
Only real sign of affection where you do not have to remove your pants and panties….
Kissing someone is a personal thing to many people. I have kissed people that I was really not too interested in – or not at all! I was being young and foolish and I knew it. But there were some women I kissed and it meant something to me. I also believe that when you are in a relationship and you kiss someone else, YES THAT IS CHEATING. It doesn’t have to be all-out sex for it to count as cheating. Kissing is still a physically intimate thing and it should not be shared with a third party unless you and your partner BOTH agree that it’s okay to do.
The lips are packed full of nerves and sensors
They are covered in a delicate, soft, and thin layer of skin over these hyper-sensitive nerves.
They are, in a sense, the face’s only real “special receptive points”, like the neck, ears, and nipples are on our bodies (as another example).
It is also a LEARNED trait to touch, lick, etc. these receptive points.
Ex.: To fondle, blow, etc. the ear. Until taught, this is not typically done from one to another, and quite often never even occurs to the young at all – until they discover such; whether by experiencing such from another, exploration, or second-hand.
(There are always rare and sometimes concerning exceptions.)
Pulling these facts together – a) the lip’s sensitivity and b) the learned attention towards special receptive points,
choosing to fondle one’s reception against another’s is not too far of a leap with proper experimentation. Studies show it most likely reached such stage by fondling one’s own lips against another generally as experimentation, catching some popularity, and then moving the same body part over the other. It is completely possible however, the the final step (moving one body part with the same), could also be the first step – as is a form of logic and the basic sense of sex.
Actually, there is a reason, I saw this on the discovery channel,
and it said that when you kiss, I forgot what they are called, but these sensors on your skin goes to your brain, basically, your touching, a lot more, when you kiss.
I know this sounds weird the way I worded it,
but it’s the truth.
I want to say instinct, but that’s more than likely only because it is to me now however, now that I think about it I am guessing it is taught. Babies are kissed by mom, dad and immediate family. As toddlers they see mom and dad kiss, people on t.v kissing etc. and imitate. How many toddler pictures do you see on greeting cards giving another toddler a kiss on the cheek “The first kiss”!
Huh. I never really thought about it that way…then again…I sort of agree. Why is kissing a sign of affection?
I usually think that kissing is not really a step to growing up or anything, but something you learn in time. HEAPS of other people have different opinions on kissing. And I’m not sure why it is a sign of affection. But that does appose a question for the world to find out! Good job!
I honestly don’t think it’s as complicated as people think it is. People like touching someone they’re close to, smelling them, looking at them, and hearing their voice, so why shouldn’t they enjoy tasting them too. Not only that, but your lips are extremely sensitive as well as your tongue, AND you’re tasting and touching at the same time!
I think it’s interesting that most kids don’t like kisses at all. After a while, you just sort of learn to like it and then really enjoy it. I think it’s because kids don’t really love in that way.. they don’t know what intimacy is.
So I believe it is a LEARNED behavior.
Well, because you don’t run up to just some random stranger and start tonguing them.
This is what JessiCat posted. I agree.
…”think it is a learned thing. but because it seems so natural here we don’t think of it as learned. think about it, babies are kissed and cuddled by everyone they meet. so as children we in turn kiss everyone we meet. thinking its a simple hello. as we get older we are taught kissing certain people may not be appropriate. so its refined into a sign of affection. In france it is a simple greeting between friends.”
I agree…very eyeopening. I thought kissing happened everywhere. How American. Lol.
I’d say it’s learned at first but it becomes instinct after a while. If I hadn’t seen my parents, people in movies, friends, and older people kissing when I was a young kid, I doubt kissing someone would ever come to mind. But after kissing quite a few girls countless times, it feels almost like instinct. I don’t think “I’ll kiss her now” I just do it when it feels natural
I think when we are really attracted to someone, our instinct is to yearn for bodily contact and physical closeness to that person, and kissing is just one form of that. There is also some sensuality in hugging someone you really want to be with. In some ways a hug can be just as stimulating as a kiss because of how close you are able to get to that person. Over all kissing just brings two surfaces of the body close together, and the more surfaces are touching all at once (chests/hands/hips), the greater the “feel” of that kiss.
In its simplest form, a kiss immitates sex, which is the ultimate form of love and showing affection. When two lips join, it simulates the merging of two hips.
if you think a kiss is learned behavior, you’ve never loved someone with all your heart and soul. Period.
its learned i think cox we try what we watch others doing..and a mother kissing her baby has nothing to do with this kinda kissing…
i think it’s instinct…. i can’t help but kiss my little baby. sometimes I don’t realize i’m doing it… he’s just so cute. since i’m little, i’ve always had maternal instincts and couldn’t help but kiss babies. and also, chimps kiss… it feels like instinct. for instance, some people are good kissers and some people are bad kissers. it’s instinct to know who’s a good kisser and who’s a bad kisser…. just my opinion.
love chemistry happens when the lips locked together, wow, i want to kiss my Korean idols. lol =)
LOVE
of course it’s instinctual, just like how dogs naturally lick a humans face. They didn’t learn it.
Scientists sat that mothers used to chew up their baby’s
food and transfer it from mouth to mouth. Kinda like a bird does with worms and the likes.
Hope this helped!!
Conor
woooow
Kissing is definitely LEARNED behavior…and some people learn it a lot better than others!
(Playing a musical instrument with an embouchure and learning a foreign language can go a long way to developing those necessary mouth — and tongue — muscles which make the difference between a soppy, sloppy smooch and a knock-your-socks-off passionate liplock.)
I think that kissing is something learned. We’re taught by mom and dad that it is a sign of affection between (hopefully) partners only so its an intimate act. I also believe that it is thought of as a sign of intimacy and trust because it goes against our instincts of self preservation ie exposing oneself to another with eyes closed leaves you vulnerable to them and shows that you trust them. I personally came to this conclusion when I found out my ex cheated on me. I tried to be forgiving but I literally could not make myself kiss him anymore. It was then that I realized I no longer loved or trusted him.
I think Jackson hit the nail on the head with his comment;
“its like they are sharing their breath, a basic, life giving act.
Comment posted on December 4th, 2009 at 11:47 am by jackson”
I believe that kissing probably began when God created Adam and then blew the breath of life into his nostrils and Adam became a living soul.
I do not think that “human moms may have fed their babies the way birds do now, by passing along chewed up food into the baby’s mouth.”
Breast feeding? Spoon feeding? Hello?
Anyways, kissing is a really weird concept, but the book of Genesis mentions guys kissing their girlfriends/wives all the time. People have been doing it since pretty much the beginning of time, which leads me to believe that it’s an instinct.
I believe it is something learned. In contrast, unlike kissing, some babies smile before they have a chance to see others smiling and learn it. I’m pretty certain you don’t see babies coming out with their lips puckered ready for a kiss. As children grow up, they are exposed to not only their families kissing, but that which is seen on t.v., and others outside the home. It is learned from observing others around us, and we are conditioned to believe it is the absolute symbol of love and/or affection.
Kissing between Lovers also serves as a form of sexual foreplay! The female usually requires more foreplay than a male before leading up to good sex.
Wow I didn’t think that kissing was so….ineresting. I just thought it was a show of love.
Baha. I’ve thought about that before. I mean, really, kissing? it’s just weird. Who would have thought about it? I’m thankful for whoever they are but it’s still just weird.
kissing is just one of those things that makes no sense when you think about it. i mean come on, having someone spit all over your face and shove their tongue down your throat sounds pretty gross. kissing to me always sounded pretty weird, and pretty gross. all i know is that my first kiss seemed so natural, so emotional….it just HAPPENED. for me kissing is just one of those things that simply just happens when you’re with the one you love. it’s like wanting to hold their hand or be in their arms….you just want to be close to them. kissing, for me at least, was a learned behavior since it’s a pretty basic staple of our culture. but in a way it is sort of an emotional instinct…people don’t plan kisses (usually) they just sort of happen when you get caught up in emotion. so for me i’d say it’s half and half. all i know is that a kiss from my love is all i ever need to be happy <3
I believe I know why adults kiss…and I believe it is linked to the question of survival that you mention in your third point. I remember when my son was just a small baby I was sitting him on my knee and bouncing him up and down and while I was doing it I was chewing a piece of chewing gum. He noticed me chewing the gum, and I remember him opening his mouth and trying to extract the gum directly from my mouth. It was, I believe, an instinctual action. This may be something along the lines of breast-feeding…something that a young child instinctively does. Passing on food via the mouth has several advantages. The mother can chew the food up into a mush that can then be passed on to her child safely , and possibly the saliva may assist with building up immunity, in the same way that breast milk assists with the immune system. The kiss is, thus, linked with intimacy and survival. In early civilizations where it may was not possible to sterilize food or perhaps to chop it into smaller pieces with early tools, mouth to mouth transmission may have been the safest way of passing things on
Your post is very thought-provoking, and it raised a few thoughts as I read it.
First of all, if one subscribes to the Freudian theory of child development, the Oral stage is the very first developmental phase for any human being. In other words, young infants do much with, and make much sense of the world from, their mouths. Perhaps kissing takes us back to a very primal stage in our lives and development, and that sharing such a moment with another is a powerful bonding experience.
Another possibility is that the kiss, in preventing another from speaking, is a display of power. We rely so much upon the spoken word in our lives- far more than other animals. Dominance and submission are never far away from human interaction, and in dominating (or in being dominated) through this act there is a certain element of arousal.
Finally, and in some ways similar to the disease theory you posit, the mouth is the largest opening into the human body. We have many instincts to protect it, including a very powerful jawbone and a strong glottal instinct to keep us from choking or aspirating liquids. To allow someone such access, therefore, is to lay oneself open.
Just some random thoughts on my part.
Well, think of it this way. If you are with someone you really like, is touching mouths the same as touching elbows or noses or even hands? How flattering would it have been in the olden days if the custom was for a gentlemen to rub his nose on her hand, rather than kissing it with your mouth?
Maybe it IS a learned trait, but these things develop for a reason. Kissing by mouth is no doubt more aesthetically pleasing than an Eskimo kiss (rubbing noses) or rubbing cheeks, etc. It’s a way to bring two people in a physical closeness that is intimate and close. Some could even say a kiss is more intimate than making love – male customers were not allowed to kiss the prostitutes in the 1800s.
I suppose we’ll never know…
Now I think about it, it is quite weird … hmmm. ^^
Actually, kissing is instinct. It is a way for the soon to be mother and father to share the germs in order for the infant to grow a stronger immune system. These days, it might not seem like that because we protect ourselves from having babies but we still kiss. We prepare the baby for the real world by allowing the immune system to recongize different germs. It definitely is instinct.
Cool well babies are mostly kissed by mommies toddlers see moms and dad kiss. WOW I would be delighted to know about my friends”first kiss”.
Or maybe mine
Don’t compare it to a mother passing chewed up food
into a baby’s mouth. That’s just gross.
I’ve always wondered this too. And I believe it’s a mixture of both. It’s quite an intimate thing, the kiss; perhaps because we’ve made it that way. But I know that I could care less what the television and our culture have said about it–being kissed feels amazing. It just does. When you’re with someone you really care about, almost nothing could be better. I think without influence, humankind would find their way to it one way or another just because it can be such a tender and beautiful way of expressing someone’s affection.
I live in Thailand. Thais don’t kiss. They “sniff kiss” which is leaning close, perhaps putting foreheads or cheeks together. It’s a rather intimate sign of romantic affection that they would not engage in with a parent, close relative, or friend.
It is so funny you say this, I’ve always wondered how kissing actually became.. since it is so odd, why mouths and all. Though I believe it is instinct; no one teaches you how to kiss (with your lips), you just know.
I say it’s a mixture of instinct and learned. I think we learned it in history, but as history went on it became part of us and our culture, so now it’s instinct. =)
I believe that even though we may have learned the phenomenon of expressing love but we have to choose the right moments ourselves. And that is where our instinct helps us. So its really a mixture of instinct and actually learning to kiss.
Great topic for the blog.
Hey buddy,
I am sorry, but the fact is that… we have memory, either way. If a person see’s a bird feeding his or her young, by doing that, would you? Would you think about it first? WHAT IF, you were a caveman… What if you never were although… LMFAO… again 
I am going to tell you, it’s most likely instinct…. Just because, someone doesn’t know, doesn’t mean, that everyone, is going to think that it’s natural or not. Either way although, you have to think, and realize. IF that is true… that moms did the bird thing etc. It doesn’t really matter. Do you ever see two monkeys kiss? Do you ever wonder if that came from human intelligence or not? Do you ever think your a sheep? LMFAO… But, the thing is that what a human see’s will, I repeat, WILL, influence everything it does, If they’re not some dianetics reading FREAK.
Kissing is very fun. I enjoy it mucho.
kissing is essay. just dont move your tonuge too much and becareful of teeth, braces, and peircings
What about HUGGING then? How did that become the norm?
kissing is definitely not as you would say “the ultimate symbol of affection” have you’re parents fill you in when you’re a little older.
I think kissing is something we learn because there are some horrible kissers out there…lol
I think it is learned, just like hugs are learned. It is another way to be close to the one you love.
I really don’t feel or see that the first kiss shared is an expression of affection. It usually happens too early to be about affection but rather attraction. I wouldn’t agree that is considered affection until LATER in knowing someone longer. I feel the kissing is a way to see if there is a shared passion or level of interest in that connection initially just. The affection comes more when you are involved emotionally greater later on I feel. It just has to develop naturally. Kissing is a way for some ppl to feel there is encouragement in the onset (early on) to continue.lol
Also, the kiss is definitely learned. By seeing others do it even if a brief peck, we have seen what is a way to share some close feeling to another person by that gesture.
Wow this is so fucken weird, i just had my first kiss today!!!
This could be answered by bringing up a few male and female children in an environment completly isolated from other people of the world. Where they are fed and provided things necessary for their survival but where they don’t know the ways of the people in this world. If the grow up and kiss, then kissing is an innate trait, else learnt. But, that is a hypothetical situation and cruel too for depriving them of a normal lifestyle just for to know about the origin/reality of kissing.
Hey guys, thx u Mike for this worthy study.
My vision is:
we have three parts in our body with the same material: 1.lips 2.nipples 3.genital organ that are made from mucous membrance that is so fair (pay attention that skin and mucous membrance are the different), therefore, bcaz of mucous membrance material, the blood cirulation and the sesivity are a lot. when u want to show ur kind to somebody (ur child or partner), u want to use the best part of ur fair limb, so, i think this is natural when u kiss ur child or partner, is the best way for showing ur love, kind & sth like these. bcaz this is a mutual sense and has good feeling, too, isn’t it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Very interesting article…I’d definitely say it’s learned. Think about the eskimo kiss, rubbing noses together as a major sign of love and greeting is weird to most of us, yet if that’s how we grew up, or learned, it’d be normal.
And to oldskoolz, haha about the teddy bears and pillows. That doesn’t describe me of course tho, I was amazing from the first time I did it haha. Unless you ask the recipient of my first kiss, she might have different feelings lol
This is one of those discussions that makes it painfully apparent how parochial so many people are. It’s much more than 10% of the world who don’t kiss, like most of Asia. There’s nothing “natural” at all about it. It’s a western cultural phenomenon.
I think it is a natural instinct all starting off with motherhood, when mothers hold their babies with both arms ( cradling them) it is natural for them to bend forward to kiss their little cheeks. Someone might say no, it must have started way before that with Adam and Eve. Maybe it did, but either way it is a natural instinct of a show of affection.
Someone has too much free time! “Why are waves wet?” might be just as thought-provoking.
well, that’s true.. but in our society it is a damn theory because even a baby/kid shows love to their parents through kissing…
Interesting story. I kiss someone out of affection. It makes me happy, so it just comes naturally anyway.
I mean kissing it simbol of real LOVE and i dont imegining love without kissing 0(*.*)0
I read somewhere that people kiss because they felt their first big feeling of satisfaction through their mouths (breastfeeding) and that since then they subconsciently connect “mouth stuff” with pleasure, so they seek fulfillment that way latter in life through kissing and exporing with their mouths. Makes sense.
I think it IS a bit of what we learn in society and what standards and perspective on kissing a certain culture has/presents to younger generations – but, more in a way of “it’s alright and acceptable to kiss” or “it’s disgusting and yucky to kiss”. So a society may urge people into kissing earlier or it may delay it or remove it from their habits completely, BUT, I believe that the instict to do so is natural in the first place. I mean, we even see it in animals… and it had to start somewhere, right?
I think it all comes down to the person itself. everyone is different. if kissing was just a way to cure something then why did society decide to make it an affectionate thing. some like it some don’t. to some people may have to learn but to others it comes just naturally.
Well personaly i think its a way to show your affection towards the person, if a mother is willing to feed their babies so they dont die. You can shove your tounge in each others mouths.
That really does sound sick but i guess its the best way to show someone you really love them and youre close to them
It is definately something we learn most likely movies or even our perents.
the lips have on of the most sensitive nerve ending therefore when you kiss you arouse those nerves, making the experience pleasureable…thats why one find kissing more pleasurable than lets say rubbing elbows lol u get the point
I’ve read before that kissing is an acquired taste. Think about it, the first time you made out with someone, did you enjoy the actual act of feeling their tongue in your mouth? Or was it just the fact that it was your first kiss, and therefore a major moment in your life? I do think kisses are special and intimate, but that it is definately society who sparks our love and desire to kiss.
Don’t know about anyone, ELSE. But, I sure wuzn’t TAUGHT about kissing. It’s instinctive. And comes naturally. ‘Course, I’ve not seen any birds feeding of late, EITHER….. LOL
ok, i have been thinking bout the whole kissing thing a lot lately. and i think that it is an instinct, because when the time happens you ust do what feels natural. and then later on down the road you may watch tv and see how others kiss each other and you might take up those habbits. alls i know is that kissing is completely amazing!
good question. i mean maybe kissing became a sybol of affection because simply shaking someone hand or huging someone is an external sign opf friendship and affection. but when people kiss obiously their toungues might tough or something where its another level. more internal if you know what i mean.
ppl r crazy you know its just a little wierd oooh lala
it’s much of a feeling, an instinct… you dont know it at first and then suddenly you’re doing great! hahahaha..
I think that the action of kissing is to be learned. I definatel remember at a young age watching a romance film with my mother and asking her why people kiss. But I’m not sure about human beings not having the instinct, because there is something VERY basic and primal about a kiss. Now, of course not all instincts are expressed in everyone, so there’d be differences, but I think it’s probably a combination of the two.
Ooh, this is very interesting indeed! Gives me something to think about. Just recently I found someone who I really like and feel very affectionate for. (We’ve not used the “L” word yet. I find that word very precious to say to someone.) I feel like kissing is an instinct. Kind of like when you feel so close to someone but you just need an extra boost for satisfaction and comfort. Since it is such a vulnerable area you have to feel comfortable about letting someone else in.
This article really has me thinking now. I’m definitely telling my friends about this one.
U have nvr kissed b4 but i think ppl do it bcuz it is an instinct. I don’t think it was taught bcuz then kissing wuldv’e had 2 b “invented” and i doubt sum1 just popped up and said “Oh i have an idea! Lets put our lips together 2 show our affection <3 "
I think it is learned. I also think it is somewhat of a sexual thing. Think about it: sex and kissing are very similar, except that sex has consequences (good or bad) and kissing doesn’t, except sharing germs. Because we see it everyday, whether through the television or in real life, it is not taken as seriously. At one time it was a huge deal to kiss someone, but it isn’t anymore because of its exposure. The reason people feel the urge to kiss a partner to merely because of psychology. It is a social norm and people for the most part do not like to be different in fear of not fitting in.
because if you get all happy inside or you feel affection or your adrenaline begins to rush then youknow something must have been done right!
I feel that kissing is something that may not have been “in the norm” in the beginning of time, but now is quite normal.
My first kiss didn’t feel awkward, or like it was planned, and all my kisses after that haven’t felt strange. It seems like something we do that is allowed publicly as long is it isn’t over done as a way to show affection.
Kissing is learned. When I firsted kissed I had no idea what i was doing or if I even liked it for that matter. But after a while of figuring out what feels good and what doesn’t, kissing becomes pleasurable because of the nerves in our mouths.
The main reason I believe kiss is a learned human activity is because in the animal planet, no other animals kiss. Monkey’s, our suppose brethern, don’t make out in tree branches for hours, or smack lips in parting. Its a human custum/thing, something we learn, just like waving goodbye or holding hands.
it is learned, but also sort of natural now that the ideas in our head… when you are in love with someone you get that feeling where you just want to be as close to them physically as possible
I think… kissing is learned now, but it had to once be someone’s instinct. It just had to be, right? Whom ever thought of it–this was their instinct.
I’d like to think that maybe it’s something more romantic. Like… kissing is a more innocent way of being able to become one with someone, to fall into the other person. Your attached to them, a part of them, even if only for a few short moments. Still…
I’ve always thought it strange though, people trading saliva and other nasty stuff… it seems kind of gross, really. Maybe that’s just because I’ve never been kissed.
Omg. that makes so much sense.. i like the end part because it does seem nasty if our mothers fed us like that… but then again some people do kisses like that so we cannot really be grossed because is part of our culture. Its amazing how we view things as nasty but then we realize there are things like that in out Earth that we haven’t viewed the same way because we accepted it. P.S: What/How many types of kiss are there? I would like to know how the kisses how developed from culture to culture.
I always thought a kiss was just a kiss, so the song goes. Anyone care to answer this: Who Wrote that Song? Any details? So what about french Kissing? What about felatio? Why do Eskimoes “Rub Noses”?Why is it now so much a part of intamacy? If I don’t kiss my wife am I being less intimate? By the way I LOVE my wife’s lips. she’s a Fantastic kisser!
i think its learned.. haha. i have to back then
I think the extended answer to why humans kiss, is because we are the only species that can, or have the ability, to love and be loved, and a physical way we express our compassion towards another individual is through the kiss. The kiss itself may have some “scientific” backing, but I believe that kissing has become habitual to many humans on this planet. We don’t need to research it, understand the atomic structure of it, or try to see it for something more than it is. Kissing is a physical expression, usually, of affection towards one another and can be tweaked and turned to give off any kind of feeling that one intends it with.
Don’t think too hard about the simple things in life, just try to appreciate it while you have the opportunity to enjoy this relatively short life we’re given
I think that kissing is a learned behavior. I mean think about it, how many kisses does a baby get a day? Probably dozens. Then you watch on tv or see your parents kiss and you realize it isn’t something that is always benign affection-a little child sometimes kisses people on the lips, until they get older and realize that you kiss friends on the cheek.
This is cool! I didnt know this. if you think about it.. even babies knows how to kiss, like its so cute wen a lil baby kisses us on the cheeks, teenagers now a days kiss maybe by lust or love, and kissing is a sweet thing to do, and may be romantic for some, but i never thought of this.
My understanding was the kissing began with the Egyptians. They would kiss as a way to transfer a small piece of their soul to another person. Such an action would clearly be something you would only do with someone close to you. I don’t remember where I learned that, but it was a long time ago, and I think it was on one of those History of Sex shows on the History Channel.
it must be learned otherwise all cultures would have the same instinct, as all babies in all races can swim by instinct within their first few weeks after birth as a survival mechanism.
I think its become the ultimate sign of affection because your very close in their personal space and you need both parties to have a comfort level with each other to be able to share that closeness. I mean your not comfortable with kissing just anyone and sometimes even hugging can feel like too much of an invasion of your personal space, so it must factor into it.
Then there is the amount of nerves that give sensation to both of u when kissing. Which again you would only want to share the experience of feeling those sensations with someone special.
I Have also read in the past that when your kissing someone all your other senses are dulled and your sense of feeling is enhanced making the kiss a deeper and more intense experience than most others, the best way to explain this is when your kissing someone usually whats going on around u just seems to fade and say someone is shouting on you or trying to get your attention, you’ll find it hard to even notice while lost in a bout of kissing. Also how i said it was enhanced by cutting out the other senses, this is supported by the fact they say people who cannot see generally have improved hearing compared to people who have both senses, so when one sense is cut out others intensify.
Kissing is so powerful because all of this intertwines into the experience of kissing. although i believe it is learned. I think that we learned it was an important experience to share with another, through the realization of how different it felt compared to anything else due to all that factors into it
Kissing is like a dog raising it’s tail when it’s ready to mate or a female dog guiding her puppy to nurse, the person bares a sensitive body part to a person they trust. or are attracted to as a symbol of trust and submission. I could get more intimate, but this example is more family-oriented.
I remember learning in high school anatomy that lips have the second-most number of nerve receptors of any body part, you can probably guess what the first is.
I always thought it had something to do with that.
Well I agree with most of the given reasons as possibilities but personally I think it became a sign of affection because it requires no words; a wordless moment in which it is nigh on impossible to speak anyway. Consequently it is very important to make the kiss itself meaningful.
Whats Wrong With My Daughter?
My Son Had His First Kiss At Like What 13? And 3 Years Later He Is Still With The Same Girl:
I Had My First Kiss When i Was 12… I got Married to James [The Guy I First Kissed] About 13 Years Laterr.
My Daughter Has a Kind Helpful Boyfriend Called Danyl… She Is Afraid To Kiss Him, She’s Talkked To Me Beforee.
Whats Up With Her?
Well, I believe that kissing shows passion for someone, it shows that you love them.
<3
That’s very intriguing. I’ve heard some things on this subject before, mostly in comparing animal behavior to human.
Humans and certain primates (chimpanzees and gorillas) are the only animals to kiss, but for the primates scientists think it is soley to test for health which would effect the taste of a mouth for a reproductive partner, and not for pleasure.
I think that kissing comes from seeing other people kiss when you are quite young. Additionally I think this has something to do with natural selection. As the article mentions it can help with immunisation, so it is likely that the humans who kisses were more likely to survive. Therefore having more children who either learnt or knew how to kiss.
I kind of agree with the school of thought on germ protection. It does have a nice effect of romanticism if you’re in love, and perhaps there is even a bit of culture involved in it too. I am generally one who gets sick less often and/or less severely than many people I know. But I don’t have any way of knowing/proving that it is affected in such a way, of course.
But it’s also rather subjective, as there really isn’t any stone cold evidence to suggest it one way or another.
Kissing is a way to show affection (in most cases). I don’t believe that the only reason people would kiss is to help the body become more immune.
Oh,, wow… i never really thought about it. I just figured we do it cause we like to…. it’s fun
lol haha
it’s a show of affection, although in current times we have downgraded kissing, snogging, and the like. we do it just to have the experiance.
this is just a teenagers veiw, but still
Well I’ve always thought of a kiss as a natural instinct.
Considering that it releases dopamine endorphines in your brain.
Though, I guess almost everything is, like they say, mind over matter.
i guess that kissing is an istinct, u can see it easily how lips can attract someone. but im sure that its proven by the media…
Cannibalism.
Humans are made of proteins. What do humans need most in their diets to survive healthy? Protein. Human flesh is about the healthiest and most efficient protein we could get.
If you ever uttered “you are just so cute I wanna eat you up!” you might begin to understand that cannibalism is something embedded deep in our brains. Evidence shows that early man may have started off as cannibals as well.
The process of starvation will eventually isolate the part of the brain that allows us to think of eating other humans and be perfectly okay with it.
In some cultures, eating your enemy was a way of showing your power.
Still in other cultures, eating their dead was a sign of respect and homage.
(granted, this brought about certain prion (protein) diseases, such as mad cow/cjd, kuru)
Yes, nowadays what I’m saying maybe shocking but lets face it, we humans are pretty strange. There are a lot worse concepts and act we have been guilty of.
Putting your mouth on something is somewhat arrogant in my opinion. Kinda like the concept of “I licked it, now no one else can touch it”
To me it makes perfect sense that is was learned and taught by the western world. We tend to want to conquer things and so we put our mouths on it and suddenly we think it ours or it owes us something in return.
Personally I like to think that kissing is somehow instinctive as well as what we learn. I learned the word ‘kiss’ a long time after experiencing many. Since then I’ve been _l_e_a_r_n_i_n_g_ ‘puurrrrr-fection’. I don’t believe a baby learns to kiss since they don’t know what it means. They instinctively mimmick what they see. (monkey see, monkey do syndrome). They are taught the action, yet not the meaning of ‘kiss’ until they learn to comprehend. I think that’s when it becomes instinctive: once they comprehend the concept. A newborn, whether human or animal, (sometimes depicted only by who wears the most body hair) can automatically relate to hunger. Does that mean they learn or instinctively know how to satisfy their hunger. It’s like the ‘chicken or the egg’ syndrome. My opinion is neither, or sometimes both. They are intoduced to ‘satisfaction’. The need is fullfilled. So, is kissing satisfaction? For some, yes…for others, no…This is why I believe a learned or an instinctive behavior is just that…a behavior. So, my opinion is THE CHICKEN….I’ve learned that I instinctively want more. Or, I’ve instinctively learned that a lucious juicy breast satisfies me only second to a soft, warm and long juicy kiss. I don’t think there is a perfect answer, only a perfect desire…LOVE.
I’ve never thought of kissing that way… Before i thought it was just something people just did for fun (well, not really for fun, but something like that) and stuff, not for preventing germs or whatever you said. I think kissing is something people learn, because when I was a toddler or a baby, I had no clue about kissing…