Where there’s smoke, there’s ire?
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I need some advice. I have a relatively new friend who has recently started smoking and I’m not sure if I should try to do something about it. I try to practice compassion and remain nonjudgmental toward my friends and loved ones, but smoking is a huge pet peeve of mine. Having never been a smoker myself, I view it as a disgusting, destructive habit and I simply can’t understand the appeal. On the other hand, I’m not without my own vices, so who am I to judge anyone else for theirs? Besides, my friend is a smart adult who has all the facts. He’s informed of the well-publicized dangers of smoking and has chosen to go ahead and light up anyway. Is it really my place to say something?
This isn’t the first time I’ve been in this situation. My best friend has been smoking since before we met, over 16 years ago. I’ve watched him try to quit at least six or seven times, without success. His father, a chief pathologist at a well-known hospital, has warned him over and over of the dangers he’s exposing himself to, but nothing seems to be sufficient motivation for him to quit for good. He always starts up again within a few weeks of trying to quit. At this point in our friendship, I’ve pretty much stopped trying to convince him to give up smoking – I guess I’ve resigned myself to the fact that he’s a smoker and will always be one. But facing this dilemma with another friend has brought the issue up in my mind once again.
What do you think? Should I just keep my opinions to myself or should I express my concern and try to convince him to quit? And can any of you ex-smokers share your experiences with successfully giving up cigarettes?
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It’s like you said – we all have our vices. And even if you look at it as a risk, well, we all take risks in life. We risk our lives when we leave our houses, when we get into our cars, when we ride elevators, ect. Sure, smoking is a lot bigger risk, but I think it’s important to see that everyone takes risks and some people face consequences.
If your dislike for smoking overcomes how much you enjoy the friendship, then yes, try to do something about it or let the friend go. If you like the friend enough, you’ll have to find a way to deal with it.
Ummm… you should mind your own business. Nobody asked for or wants your opinion. A pet peeve of mine is people butting in when they aren’t invited.
Yes, smoking is the number 1 preventable cause of death. #2 is obesity. But obviously you don’t walk up to fat people and tell them what to eat or that they need to lose weight. You might actually be fat yourself. If you’re not, someone you know certainly is.
MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
If he is smoking around you, by all means say something. Second hand smoke is as dangerous (if not more so) as first hand smoke. Just politely ask him not to smoke around you. The second hand smoke is “bad” for you and you really do not want to see him smoke and be unhealthy. If you do it in a respectful way, he should honor your request.
I too was a smoker, on & off, until I was about 30ish. I was up to 3 packs of Marlboros a day, pretty heavy.
One morning I awakened to find a half-burned ciagarette in my hand. I don’t remember lighting up at all! It was like Peter Sellers in “Dr. Strangelove” with the hand salute. Scared me so bad, I gave away all my smokes, lighters, ashtrays. That was about 30 years ago and I am SO glad!
Now, just being around smokers makes me nauseous. Did I smell that bad? Yes I did! Let your friend know how bad the smell is. Don’t get on his case, just wave a hand in front of your own face a couple of times.
It’s frustrating as hell, I know. I was a smoker for 36 years up until December 2007. In December 2007 my 83 year old father was submitted to the hospital emergency room for pnemonia. My father smoked for 65 years. Watching him gasp and choke for a breath of air for 3 hours straight – scared me straight. As I watched my father fight hard for a breath at a time he also suffered a heart attack. That day changed the course of all of our lives. My father passed away last year in August 2008 from heart failure and other complications. He lived a long prosperous life and we miss him everyday. I have not smoked since that day in December 2007. Don’t give up on reminding your friend – my family always complained of my smoking. I realize that anything you “have to have” is an addition and controls your life – you don’t go on long trips, you smell like a lit cigerette all the time, you sneak around to smoke a cigerette, you spend an enormous amount of money, people actually stay far from you because you smell, your breathe is stinky, no one wants to kiss you on the lips, and the list goes on. Don’t give up – show him that you do care.
Never give up on your friends .I smoke and I have a friend Philip and he mentions it all the time ,it makes me feel good that some one cares enough to bug me about it .
I go by the old adage:
“Eat right, exercise, don’t smoke and die anyways”.
There is no silver bullet that stops death.
You can die today and be “perfectly healthy” to all medical standards.
When your number is up, there is no arguing about it. When time is called you leave the field.
Don’t bug your friend, there is enough information out there for him to make an informed decision. Smoking is a self medication it can calm you when your under stress and help you stay awake when you need to be alert. If it bothers you that much you might as well call the friendship off. If you are that shallow that you would let the PC police indocrinate you on what is good and bad to their standards, well you weren’t much of a friend …chill allready!
The simple solution is to take it like a man, someone is smoking around you, big deal! Its not like they are holding a gun to your head and gonna blast it off. I have a mom who smokes but I would never dare for her to quit, she can smoke if she wants and so can you friend.
You’re right that we all have our vices, but few have the direct and immediate impact of other people trying to share the same space as smoking. I doubt you could get them to quit, because nicotine addiction is fast and furious. Your friend will find himself quickly ostracized because, frankly, not many people want to smell like a smoker.
Look at it this way: if he started shooting heroin, would you still be wondering if you should try to help him quit? Would a drug addict be the kind of person you want to maintain a friendship with? Perhaps rather than pointing out the health risks–that he seems to care little about–point out the financial outlay. Not just the direct cost of cigarettes, but also the increase healthcare cost and dry cleaning expenses. The social implication of having to leave the company of friends to go shoot up… er… I mean “light” up.
If he’s a new friend you really don’t have that much invested. Walk away. He will bring nothing but the need to organize your life and activities around his ability to smoke. It’s just not worth it.
By all means, speak up! You don’t mention your friend’s history, whether they literally just started or whether they’ve re-started like your best friend. If it’s a case of re-starting, then I’d stay quiet.
But if this is someone who has just chosen to start smoking then there’s still time to get them to quit. The longer you smoke the harder it can be to quit or to make yourself want to quit.
Anyone who starts NOW is just cruisin’ for a bruisin’. I won’t get into the health aspects; it’s the social and legal climate that concerns me.
Before much longer, we smokers are going to be restrained from smoking anywhere but in our own basements or crawl spaces.
Why take up a habit that you’re going to have a hard time indulging in and will end up regretting?
I started smoking in the “good old days” when you could do it in hospitals, for crying out loud.
As for your best friend, you’re right to stay quiet. No one these days is ignorant of the health and social stigmas related to smoking. You’d have to be living under a rock. People need to WANT to quit smoking (if they’re dedicated and not just social or casual smokers), so riding them even gently is just going to be annoying.
Maybe it’s just my contrary nature, but if anyone ever bugs me about it it just backfires and makes me angry.
I think I can relate to how you feel. My mum & dad both smoke (inside the house!) and I was annoyed when my sister followed suit. I’m not a smoker although, for some reason, I sometimes feel like a couple of drags when I’m out having a drink. Having said that, I’m not much of a drinker either and when I do smoke I end up regretting it. Cigarettes taste so bad they make me want to spit urgently!
My ex-partner at work smokes excessively (2 packets a day), when we worked together we’d argue about it quite often. I thought it was grossly disrespectful of him to smoke in the car so to piss him off I used to fart in the car, which is equally disgusting. The guy I work with now only smokes a couple of fags per shift which is quite bearable.
I remember talking to my sis when she first started smoking, telling her it’s not cool and she used to say she could stop smoking anytime she wanted to (yeah right!). I complained to my parents about the situation but frankly they weren’t in a position to tell her off so eventually I gave up trying to dissuade her myself.
All smokers end up regretting they ever started, even though some won’t admit it. Just remind your friend that he too will be sorry pretty soon.
Absolutely say something. It may be easier for him to quit now, before he’s been smoking for years.
The hell with ‘MYOB’. If he was talking about suicide, you’d get him some help, right?
No, this isn’t different. Smoking is 100% proven to cause cancer, emphysema, COPD, and a host of other deadly illnesses.
Trust me. I work in research. We have several strains of lab mice that we use as models of COPD. We purposely cause this condition by…exposure to cigarette smoke. If your friend could see the condition of these poor creatures’ lungs, trachea, etc. at necropsy, he’d understand.
Our purpose is to understand the immune system’s role in lung disease, in order to better treat people with COPD and other respiratory illnesses.
However, it is so much simpler to avoid the effects by never smoking.
I have many friends and family (unfortunately) who smoke. It’s disgusting and deadly. My best friend’s mom won’t ever go to the movies with us because heaven forbid–she can’t go that long without a smoke. It controls your life.
Smoking kills. If you love your friend, you will tell him all this. Not because he smells bad, or anything like that. Because you don’t want him to suffer the certain consequences.
I agree with the comments that say you need to evaluate the pros and cons of the friendship. I tried to be friends with a smoker, and it was all about her and her need to smoke. Road trips were a living nightmare, as was picking a restaurant that would allow smoking, or freezing on the patio. Her leaving in the middle of a movie because she needed a few drags. That’s just sad! Can’t sit through a 2 hour movvie??? Pathetic.
I just wanted to add that whatever you do, don’t let him start harping about smokers rights. Smokers don’t have rights. Rights are for people who cannot change their circumstances and need the protection of law. Smokers choose to smoke.
I’d love to share my experiences with quitting but I haven’t tried yet. I know the day is coming so I’m preparing in my own small ways. A few years ago I stopped smoking in my dressing room. A little later I stopped smoking in the car on the way to work. Just in the last month I stopped smoking in the bedroom.
It hasn’t really helped me to cut back yet – sometimes I’ll just spend more time in other rooms where smoking is allowed – but I still consider it progress. Hey, it’s a change anyway! I’m a die-hard smoker. I love it and I don’t want to quit. The fact that I’ve been able to make these tiny adjustments (tiny to non-smokers, big to me) gives me hope for the future.
I’ve got a plane trip coming up for which I bought some nicotine gum. I’m not pinning my hopes on anything, but it’ll be interesting to see how I feel chewing that. I can keep it in mind for when that dreaded day comes.
I have a similar problem as well except that me and my used to be “best” friend are seventeen and she’s doing that experimenting with marijuana high school stuff,drinking alcohol and I recently found out that she’s tried shrooms and I’m not sure what else. We used to be best friends and for a year-and-a-half I’ve tried to ignore the fact but it just irks me and slowly we’ve just drifted apart.It’s sad really.She told me it would only be once to try it and that was a lie. A girl told me that she smoked cigarettes with her, even after my friend told me that she hates cigarettes and another person told me she chugged a beer with her after she also told me she detested beer.I don’t like to bring the subject up because its awkward and I just like to pretend it doesn’t exist, but its always there on the back of my mind.
I think you should talk to your friend because with my lack of expressive skills, I’m probably witnessing the demise of my own 10 year friendship as we graduate and move onto separate schools in separate states.
=(
I quit over 20 years ago.
But a friend’s doctor told him that if he was lucky and got cancer he would die. But if he was one of the unlucky ones he would live another 30 or more years and fight for every breath and be in such pain that no pain killer would help and would beg to die.. He had never thought about it like that it took him about two more weeks to quit.
My suggestion is that when he is smoking near you, grab it out of his mouth, turn it round and burn him on the cheek with the hot end. They will soon stop! (Plus he/she’ll be branded a smoker for life. They will definitely regret smoking!)
You can say something about quitting once, and you can ask him not to smoke where you will be inhaling it, but that’s it. Anything more makes you a holier-than-thou, pushy whinebag. None of those things are attractive. And personally, those truth.com commercials and people who criticize, try to “educate” me, or “show their concern” just make me want to smoke more.
People are going to make decisions whether they are in their best interest or not. While smoking is an unhealthy habit the world is filled with them. It may be a pet peeve of yours but when it comes down to it the only way they’ll quit is if they want to. Something appropriate to request of your friend is that they not smoke around you. That is where your health and wellness becomes a concern. It’s okay to voice your feelings on it but avoid making that a regular thing if this friend is someone you care for. Doing this will only drive them away. My best advice would be to voice your opinion once, state where you stand, offer to help them should they ever decide to quit, and request they not smoke in your presence. It’s always a tough position to be in when someone you care for puts their health at risk but there is a fine line between being concerned and being authoritative or nagging. It’s best to make sure to not cross that line. Best of luck
Its a no brainer. If you don’t like the smoke then find a new friend. But if you’re going to remain his friend. Ask yourself are you having such a problem with him, and all smokers because of the human urge to somehow be superior to your friend. I’m sure if your friend knew how discusted you were with him, he would choose not to be your friend. Don’t get it twisted, this is not about him. Its about you and others wanting to be better. Because like I said if you wanted to, you could just drop the friendship.
A few years ago, I would smoke a cigarette here and there and I had a coworker who would pick on me about it, liking making comments about having me getting yellow teeth, stinky hair on looking and old. Well, I am glad she did, because it made me not want to smoke at all.
I think you should try in a fun nice way like she did.
Well isn’t willingly exposing yourself to secondhand smoke a destructive habit? I mean you stay friends with people who smoke, so unless they never smoke around you then you are just as bad aren’t you? Anyway I hope you don’t drink, because that is just as bad(I hope you don’t need a list of the damage it does to your body). Some people who smoke NEVER get diseases from it, so don’t act like everyone who smokes gets cancer.
In short if you find it so disgusting stop being around the person, otherwise leave them alone about it.
Stick with the non-judgmental path. Certainly you can ask your friend not to smoke in a confined space with you, such as in your car or home.
This is a choice people make, and having been a smoker and a smoker that has successfully quit, I can tell you that nothing you say is going to make a difference.
Adults make many more foolish mistakes than do children. They actually KNOW the consequences of their actions and take them any way. There is little you can do about this.
If they try to quit once or a thousand different times, continue to be supportive. Everyone needs friends. Who knows what pet peeves they have about your behavior that they may be keeping to themselves because they value your friendship in spite of them?
Good luck!
Like you and the others have said, we all do things that are not necessarily good for us. It doesn’t give anyone the right to police someone else’s habits. If you are concerned for their health, then by all means, express your concern…but it sounds more like it annoys you than anything else. How would you feel if someone tried to ram their personal beliefs on you…have you ever been around anyone who is a zealot vegetarian? Annoying! Express your concern, defend your right to remain smoke free if they come to visit you, and let them know that if they ever want to quit, you will encorage and support them in any way you can–then drop it.
Comparing smoking to other vices that only hurt the user is inaccurate. This is more correctly likened to a friend of yours enjoying closing his eyes and firing a gun wildly in all directions.
At worst, his actions are hurting everyone that comes into contact with him, and frankly, smokers should be liable for the medical bills of all non-smokers with secondhand smoke issues. At best, he smells bad and is generally unpleasant to be around because of his actions, and if you want to up with that, power to you. I no longer choose to associate with friends and family that smoke.
To: uuuum. mind your own business;
I believe she stated this was her boyfriend and it appears she intends to keep it that way for a long time. That makes it her business.
Sorry, but comments like that are my pet peeves.
I was married to a non-smoker for thirty one years. I am a smoker and was five years older then her.
She passed away eleven years ago and I, at 66, am in perfect health.
Second hand smoke is said to be worse than smoking. I would ask him not to smoke around me. But this is your choice and not mine.
Bruce P
Buy him a pack of Nicotine gum or other smoking cessation aid as a gift. You both will be happy and you might just save his health, wealth and happiness and he will be thankful to you for a long time to come.
Yes, second hand smoke is just as bad as if you were smoking yourself. I gave up smoking about 40 or so yrs ago after burying one of my best friends who smoked 3 packs a day. Came home from the funeral and threw out every cigarette in the house, drawers, purses, pockets, etc. and have not smoked since then. No one is allowed to smoke in my vehicle, home, or place of business, or when we eat. I try not to associate with smokers and there are plenty of people/friends who do not smoke in my life.
Remaining nonjudgmental is all well and good – until someone gets hurt! Seriously – butting out of “people’s business” and being tolerant is generally a good idea – but it only goes so far. If you actually care about someone, then of course you interfere, you express your opinion, you try to help. It’s the only compassionate thing to do. And of course, that can go too far too – you need to know when to let it go, and move on.
So, if you’ve already expressed your opinion, and they won’t stop – then you are done. Do consider what that means, however – what does it say about your friend that they are continuing to smoke, despite “knowing” the risks, and knowing you are concerned about them doing so? It’s possible you may find that you have more to say to your friend than you thought – or have.
“Second hand smoke is as dangerous (if not more so) as first hand smoke.”
Will SOMEONE please find a way to squelch this asinine, ignorant myth? I can’t believe there are still sheep out there that parrot this garbage even though people have actually DONE the experiments disproving it time and time again even though common sense SHOULD be enough to make it obvious.
It’s sad that people in general are so unbelievably ignorant. I fear for our planet.
Me too, my parrents smoked (and one died of lung cancer; sad and ironic) Tell him to quit or froget about me being your friend. (He can still be your friend but were a gas mask)
If this person and you are true friends to each other, then tell hiom how much it bothers you to see him do it so he is aware of it, but dont tell him to stop. I’m a smoker myself and I went for 5 years before I told my mom and my sister that I smoked because I was so afraid of the reaction I was going to get. But they informed me that they did not like it, yes, but they dont push anything down my throat and therefore, I’m okay with being around them if I do crave a cigarette. The main thing here is just be honest with each other and if he’s a true friend to you, he will understand where you are coming from. But dont let it bother you though because your right, we all have faults and nobody is perfect. Thats why my mom and sister voiced thier opinions but left it at that
I’m a smoker and it doesn’t offend me at all for a friend or loved one to wish me well and offer their advice regarding what I’m doing to my body. I accept it as it is intended, out of concern for my health. Once. Beyond that it becomes nagging and is uncalled for. I can assure you that there is no amount of talking, presenting of facts or anything else you can do that will convince your friend to stop smoking. It’s a very personal decision, and something that one will only be successful in if there is a true desire to quit. I try to be respectful of my non-smoking friends by not smoking in their presence, in my car or in my home. I make sure that I’m well out of range of them when I light up. If your friend is not offering you the same courtesy, I do recommend that you politely ask him to. Otherwise, it comes down to how much the friendship really means to you. If this person is important to you then you’ll hang around and accept the differences that you have. If not, then it’s really not worth the trouble of bringing up the issue to begin with.
I would leave your friend alone. They made a choice and it’s not up to you to decide what i best for everyone. You wouldn’t believe how many times smokers get the “cancer stick” lecture from friends (and strangers) on a daily basis, or how often a target market commercial comes on the air and scolds them. And if all these things aren’t enough to make people quit, you’ll only be a nosy nagger — and a hypocrite to boot. As you said, you aren’t without your vices. Your heart is in the right place, I know. But it takes I very serious wake up call to get smokers to quit (death of a loved one, onset of health problems, etc). Imagine if you had a vegetarian friend who scolded you whenever you ate a burger. How much would you wanna listen to that.
Keep outta it, and keep your friend.
Cheers.
I’m married to a smoker and it’s not easy. Nagging someone is not the way to go. Some times people are in more of a “quit mode” than others. If they don’t want to hear about it, there’s nothing you can do. I worry about him dying young of cancer or a heart attack or stroke, or being one of those sad older people you see walking around attached to oxygen. I don’t want to be a young widow, but I might be. The ironic thing is, he has a relative who died of colon cancer and gets colonoscopies, but when I point out that a heavy smoker worrying about colon cancer is ironic, it doesn’t seem to make much of an impact. Here is a preventable cancer, lung cancer, that someone is worry less about that a small genetic risk for colon cancer. It’s very frustrating.
If a friend should not allow a friend to drive while drunk then a true friend should “not allow” a friend to start smoking without resistance. But use the K.I.S.S. method: Keep It Short & Simple! Have your say and then drop it! See what your friend’s reaction is. If he gets all bent out of shape then you, nor anyone else will have any influence on him by resisting his decision to smoke except for him to ‘rebel’ by smoking MORE!
By letting your feelings be known, you will be making yourself feel that you at least tried. It may even let him know how much you care if you do it just right.
I know it’s tough to see someone you care about purposefully destroy themself. I watch my husband, who had once had a four pack a day habit, first lose his teeth and then have a spot on his lung found when his emphysema cost him his job. That made him put down the cigarettes and not pick them back up again. But by then it was way too late. He was 14 when he started smoking. He was 58 when he quit. The damage was done. He spiraled down hill so fast that within three years he died in the ER with pneumonia due to the weakening of his lungs by the emphysema. He was 61 when he died. There is not enough room here for me to write the whole sordid, messy story, but let it suffice to simply say that the way Larry died was UGLY!!! It was PAINFUL for him go through and for me to watch and was it ever expen$ive!!!
If your friend continues on smoking and you don’t want to be around it and watch what he’s doing to himself with the direct smoke and to you and others with second hand smoke, then tell him that you can’t watch these things and have his smoking affect you adversely in any way imaginable and end your friendship. At least you won’t have to go through what I have gone through and you will have at least tried to keep it from getting to such an extreme point in your pathway next to your friend.
If you love someone you should tell them the truth even if it hurts.
~ each to one’s own,
~ you can only remind them periodically, smoke itself does cause damage, its the nicotine that calms nerves, but there are patches and gums now-a-days, but those can cause problems if not used correctly,
~ the smoke also permeates clothings and surfaces, leaving odor and residue, but not noticeable to those that smoke,
~ your best to only advise, not convince, there may be another cause or reason as to why anyone bothers to join smokers crowd, not good for marathon runners, or fitness folk,
~ and with second hand smoke, not good to be around, and with some new laws, “no smoking in car with children”, can be an inconvenience down the road,
~ firefighters used to have to breathe smoke, and that may be an example as to why not breathe in toxins,
..
How DARE anyone compare overweight people to smokers!!!
Smokers cause the whole place to stink, and cause ME health problems.
I may be fat but I don’t eat the entire buffet and make your experience less enjoyable – all the while smokers are stinking up the place and causing health problems.
wow just tell him to stop because if he smokes around you it dangers you too… yeah, so just do it politely cuz if he is your friend you want him to be with you longer dont you???
The appeal is quite obvious: Smoking is so expensive that it has become a status symbol, especially so in today’s economy. The really, really poor can’t afford to smoke any more, and they gave it up. Smoking is also the great neutralizer of social circumstance. Anyone who smokes can be friends with anyone else. Race, ethnicity, sex, background, it all goes away when you find a fellow smoker. This is why smoking is “cool” — it turns even the most socially inept into a socially acceptable (with other smokers). And then it’s the hostile non-smokers who are uptight and arrogant.
I don’t smoke cigarettes — tried it for a week, just never found the appeal — but I will have an occassional cigar w/ my husband or friends. And it’s purely a status thing, plus smoking so infrequently makes it have the same effect as pot! LOL.
I have more of a problem with anti-smoking nazis. And the second hand smoke argument is dumb — there’s more immediate danger from children in public, spreading viruses, and no concern about that.
I was a smoker for over 10 years, and I had to quit when I wanted to and was ready, not when someone told me how bad it was. Smokers know the risk, they hear it all the time. I never smoked around non-smokers because I thought it was rude. If your friend is smoking around you, ask them not to. Tell them you don’t like it. If they want to smoke away from you, that is their business and their right. Nothing you can say will change that, it will just annoy them which wont help them quit. I don’t really think it is any of your business what your friends do with their bodies in their own time and I really don’t think it is your place to tell them what they should or should not do with their body. As adults we make our own decisions and others might not always like them but it is still our right to do it. Ask that they do not smoke around you and if they can respect you enough to not smoke around you, then you should respect them enough to not tell them what to do.
To change the world, change yourself. It is not up to you (pet peeve or not) to jump on the band wagon and lecture a friend about smoking or anything else that you want to change in him.
Think about some other person who might have a strong pet peeve toward one of your behaviors or habits.
Every person has the right to make their own choices. You might not agree (in fact you may violently disagree), but other than stating your personal care and concern, it is not your place to say anything more unless asked.
If the other person is your child or a very close loved one, you might have a different task. But this is a friend and a new one at that.
Worry more about your own poor choices and what you need to do to correct your own mistakes. This will set an example for others to follow. Silent empathy will cause more improvement in humanity than all of the nagging and belligerent attitudes have ever accomplished.
Do your “relatively new friend” a favor and stay away from him. He certainly doesn’t need someone like you thinking that it’s your place to say anything to him. He’s an adult, last time I checked, that meant he could do anything he wanted. He doesn’t need a “friend” like you who is already judging him and his life from the start of the friendship. It’ll only get worse with you sticking your nose in his business.
To coin a smokers phrase, “Butt Out!”
Let him screw up his life, his bad not yours
i think a single comment about how you feel is understandable, just don’t badger them.
&& i think it would also be acceptable to ask them not to smoke around you, since it bothers you so much.
I think you should mind your own business, if they smoke outside around you move away, if indoors then I would polietly ask them to take it else where . Have you asked this FREIND of yours what is the reason they started to smoke. They may be having problems that you are too busy worring about your pet peeve to notice. I know from expierence that most of us smoke due to high stress situations.
As he is your friend, absolutely say something. Especially if he is smoking around you. I really don’t understand why someone today would start smoking especially as an adult. I wish I never started and friends that I see smoke that don’t normally smoke I get very angry with. I started at a very young age. Despite all the health problems that come with smoking, a big downside is it’s VERY expensive to smoke. I buy the less expensive cigarettes and smoke about a pack a day or sometimes a bit less and it costs me approx. $200 month. Heck, that’s almost my car payment!
BUT, once you’ve said something. Please leave it at that. I’m sure he is aware of the issues and he is an adult, it’s his decision and his life he is effecting. But nothing drives me more nuts then when someone is constantly telling me I should quit. Trust me, I know I should quit.. I’ve tried to quit countless times. People that have never smoked don’t seem to understand how hard it actually is to give up smoking or even cut back.
So voice you’re concerns, but please don’t be pushy. If a smoker is going to sucussfully quit, they have to do it because *they* want to, not because everyone else wants them to.
well good luck with your friend that’s not easy to do i started smoking when i was about 12 or 13 that was back in the early 70′s now at 45 i find it very hard to quit i have tried many time’s so i know it’s not easy.let your friend know how you feel about smoking and offer to help her quit it could save her life someday.
Express to your friend that you are concerned for their health. Keep your opinions about how yucky it is to yourself – you don’t want to make it sound like you are griping at him or judging him or telling him how to run his life. If he did just start, as you say, it is easier to stop now rather than down the road. Buy him a bag of dum-dum pops and ask him to just give a shot one day at a time. When he has the urge to smoke, suck on a dum-dum. If it is just a habit at this point or a relief to stress in his life – the dum dums may have the same affect as the cigs. If it doesn’t work or he doesn’t agree to it then you just have to let him be and love him for who he is. We can’t tell our friends how to live their lives.
It’s not your place to say anything. Go ahead and have the talk with him. There’s nothing wrong with honesty and stating how you feel, you have that right, but in the end it is his choice to make not yours. No amount of badgering will change that, all it will do is put a strain on your friendship and will probably end it very quickly.
I’m a smoker myself. I know the dangers, but I am who I am and I choose to smoke. Like it, love it, or hate it. I really don’t care how people feel about it. It’s my choice and my right to smoke. I’ll respect the fact that you choose not to smoke and that you choose to feel the way you do about it. However, I hate it when people (friends, co-workers, bosses, etc), stick their noses into my business and try to manipulate me into quitting. I choose to smoke, yes, but I don’t force it onto anyone. I deserve the same respect in turn.
If they don’t like smoking, that’s fine, I can respect that, but I cannot respect people who choose not to respect a person just because they do smoke. Big difference there. I also hate it when someone tries to be your conscience and preach to you that you are in the wrong for smoking, I find that insulting. To try to guilt or manipulate you into quitting is just plain rude. It really pisses me off when others think that they have the right to dictate another persons choice of habits, vices, or whatever you choose to call it, just because they don’t like it.
Either accept it or leave it alone. If you can’t handle that, then end the friendship early on instead of turning it into an all-out war. You’ll both be happier and better off that way. What’s more important to you: the friendship and the personal rights of your friend, or your friends habits and personal choices?
The whole comment of mind you own business is a load of bs. Sometimes people make the wrong choices in life and it is up to their friends family ect to help them out and put them on the right path. You can urge him and make a fuss and he could be very upset with you for it but in the end you may have saved his life.
“#2 is obesity. But obviously you don’t walk up to fat people and tell them what to eat or that they need to lose weight. ”
funny that was brought up, but in all reality if one of my close friends was in terrible shape and obese I would try in as best non-offending way possible to tell him/her that they should change for the better.
BTW you do not go up to random people and say stop smoking or get exercise, this is for your friends and family who you would have some place to say that sort of stuff
hey well i think if that person were a friend like u said then maybe u should tell him that smoking aint your thing and ib pretty sure hell understand!!!
Okay. I can understand where you would want to do something. I have receently smoked a few times. and im alot younger than you im only 16. Some friends got mad at me, Some didnt. To be compleltlley honest with you, I got more pissed off at the ones who did get mad at me. You should talk to your friend about it. However, if he or she doesnt want to stop smoking then who cares? yes, people do die from smoking but there are millions and millions of people who are out there that smoke and are completley healthy.
Let me tell you from personal experience that you can NOT convince someone to quit smoking..I’m 42, I’ve smoked since I was 12..
I’ve quit twice..I had severe broncitis and had to go to the doctor for antibiotics, he gave me a really strong scolding about my smoking and after thinking it over for a few weeks, I went back…He gave me a scrip for the patch with very strict intructions…I followed his instructions to the letter and quit for nearly a year…Then my husband of 15 years left me for another woman…I guess it was the stress of it that made me start smoking again..
Then a few years later, I decided to quit again and went back to my doctor (a different one, the other had retired), and he gave me a prescription for wellbutrin and again strict intructions…Within a month a was a non smoker again and didn’t smoke for 2 years, my record..lol
I have severe foot injuries and litterally couldn’t walk when I found out that my live in boyfreind was a crack head, seriously..
My next door neighbors came over several times a day after I kicked him out to help me…They’re both smokers…Well I picked it up again and now I’ve pretty much realized that I’m just a smoker, that’s that..
Nicotine is like any other drug…Your body needs it and it’s so easy to relapse even after you’ve quit for a long time…
Starting smoking is easy, quiting is a bitc*
Smoking IS disgusting. If you see him coughing or developing a smoker’s rasp, then you should get a lesson on how to stage an intervention. I did that for a friend I have. He had been doing heroin, and I got him to stop it. You should try it out with your friend, but not too soon, and make sure you KNOW how to stage an intervention before you try to.
Point out that all cigar and cigarette T.V. commercials were banned many years ago. Why? It’s never been a mystery how advertising can and does manipulate the public to purchase obscure items. Advertising on T.V. proved to be even more provocative. How? Well, they used sexy looking men or women to sell anything from soup to nuts. The same tactic was used to sell tobacco. Over the years as smoking was linked closer to lung cancer the tobacco industry was prohibited from advertising on T.V. and was required to label a warning on all packs of cigarettes. Either you or your friend should do some “on line” research to furhter investigate it. Bottom line: FACT – chewing or smoking tobacco is addictive. Don’t believe that ? Check it out ! The only way to avoid the addiction is to stop consuming it – case closed. Otherwise the next “case” that will eventually be “closed”- earlier than expected – will be their coffin. Some truths need to be expressed bluntly since the consequences can be devastating if NOT bluntly expresssed. Tell your friend how you don’t look forward to attending their funeral earlier than necessary and enjoy the rest of your time together rather than visiting them in the cancer ward of the hospital. Why? ‘Cause you CARE, damnit.
To quit smoking is a pretty hard thing to do, and it is a different situation with each individual person. For myself, after smoking for five years, it took me three attempts to quit. It is a multi-step process and that process begins when he is absolutely ready to quit. There are a number of nicotine replacement therapies currently available on the market if he is ready to quit, this one here is an electronic cigarette that does not contain all of the chemicals no tobacco as do regular cigs do. There is no smoke either, it is simply a system where only nicotine (the addictive component) is suspended in water vapor and can be inhaled to get the desired effect. This can be smoked anywhere because it only emits a harmless water vapor. No smells, bad teeth and significantly decreases most health risks associated with smoking cigarettes. I purchased this for my uncle and he loves it. He has tried to quit and just can’t either, however this will help him in the long run. Ultimately it is still his choice, but once he is ready there are plenty of alternatives out there that will work well with support.
you’re a good friend. your friend should be grateful.
well it is and it isnt…. u see if he knows the risks and dangers but wants to do it anyways that is his choice and no one can tell him not too (unless he is a teenager, then u take charge) but u can tell him how you feel and that you really care about him (if its another guy dont say it lke u have feelings for him lol)
What about the dangers of second-hand smoking? If I were you, I would just tell your friend that if he’s going to smoke and wants to remain your friend, you won’t tolerate him smoking around you (he can do what he likes to his body, but you shouldn’t be put at risk), but if he wants to smoke when you aren’t around, that’s his look-out. It’s his choice of lifestyle and it’s not your business to tell him to stop, but don’t let him smoke around you. It is not his right to be breathing carcinogens into your lungs. Don’t put up with that. Good luck.
This is sort of the boat I’m in, on the other side. I’ve recently started smoking, and I chose to smoke after knowing full well of the health risks and making the decision without peer pressure or any outside influences.
I can sense my best friend is going to be in your spot when she finds out, but she’s not going to be quite as understanding.
The fact is, your friend knows what they’re doing. Personally, I think you should just let them live their lives. It isn’t your place to tell them what to do. Everyone has their vices, as you’ve said.
Smoking isn’t something that a person should have to quit. I enjoy smoking and use to smoke about a pack a day. I got to the point where I could feel my health deteriorating. So I made up my mind to try smoking tabbacco free cigs and they were alright except not near as robust as tobacco. I still smoke about one tabbacco cig. a month and since I’m not greatly in favor of tobacco free, I smoke less then a pack a week of those. So techniquely I’m not a quiter and never will be. I enjoy smoking but the more you smoke tabacco free cigs the less you like the regular cigs so you smoke much less. Yes there are health hazards but so does everything else, even the flouridated what is hazardous to your health. The point is that walking the middle bath through life is easyer then taking side. If something takes over your life, it probably means you have some past issues you need to overcome. Smoking is a symbol for death. It means that you invite death rather then life. Both life and death are wonderful and bad in there own fashion. Embrace both equally and you will truely be alive. Life has a lot of pleasant experiences, coffee and cigarettes being one of them.
peace
Smoking sucks! it takes over your life and is unbelievable to quit. don’t give up on your friend. if you really care about him, you should pressure him out of it. but don’t go to far. everyone has problems, and the problem of so many people is smoking. If you rag on him to much, it won’t matter whether you want to stay friends with him, he won’t want to stay friends with you. he will be really sick of it. but good luck. i’m a non-smoker, and i hope someday we can live in a ciggarett free world.
I’ve quit smoking several times. I’m just not the type who stays addicted to it. I’ve gone 10 years without one, and then spent a few months regularly smoking a half pack, then another year before another light.
Smoking is not always about being “a smoker” or not a smoker. Please don’t label your friend a smoker if he smokes a few cigs now and again. You don’t label your friends drunkards if they drink a few too many at one party per year, do you?
One of the hardest things about giving up smoking is the negative vibe everyone gives you (even your friends) when you smoke, and they don’t approve. Smokers tend to get grumpy inside about that, and maybe they don’t tell you about it because they care about you, but it hurts them. So they stick with it as a form of rebellion long after they’re no longer addicted.
Another reason many smokers go back is because of these stupid TV and radio ads that focus so much on vivid descriptions of how it feels to smoke, and how much people want a cigarette… etc.. Those always make me think about having another cig, even if I had no desire for one for years.
Smoking is seen as a pleasure to those who enjoy it. Even if they no longer see it as glamorously as they once did, now it’s an indulgence, and to have the world against you when you’re trying to be “good” (while quitting) is not easy. Especially for women. Women are trying to get over their feelings of wanting to be a “good girl” while they were growing up. So smoking can be a loud and clear statement that “I’m not a little girl anymore and you won’t boss me around anymore.”
So tread lightly. Give your friend support while he’s trying to quit and sympathetic silence when he’s backsliding.
well, my suggestion would to lett him know that you dont like it and what are the affects! if you wanted him to live then, i would tell him!
,vicki
Friends help friends.
Obviously from many of the above answers, the people who know they are doing something wrong don’t want to be told so. That’s sort of human nature I suppose.
But, as I stated above, friends help friends. If your friend had a huge gambling addiction, would you let him go to a casino? Sure, you can’t watch over him 24×7, but when you are around him, wouldn’t you do everything you can to get him to stop? How about alcohol or drug addiction, wouldn’t you do everything you can to help him to stop, for no reason other than he’s your friend? This is not any different. He may or may not your help, but as his friend it is your duty and obligation to provide it.
smoking the hardest of all addictions to quit.
it is fair to request you friend not smoke in your home appartment.
if it makes you sick say so – but remember if you are unable to spend any time with your friend when they smoke your friendship may be doomed.
i smoke in my friends home only when the fire place is light and i smoke/exhale directly into the fire place and i can smoke on the enclosed porch or garage.
that is workable for me. she shows me respect and i respect your wishes.
good friends are so hard to find – good luck on working thru this.
you spelt fire wrong in the question, lol
Miss Deviance-
“status symbol”?!?!
We’re treated like G.D. LEPERS!
if your friend KNOWS what theyre doing and still they smoke, they dont what theyre doing at all, it’s their habit that got their best of them.
i’d reccomend smoking sweet tarts?
i love smoking
I agree with the people who say you ought to let him live his own life and make his own choices.
However, smoking is addictive–he may be all right now, but if the health issues start to matter to him more later in life, it will be a lot harder for him to quit.
You can’t and shouldn’t push him to make the decision to quit if he doesn’t want to, but if he is a good friend who you care about, you should at least let him know what you think.
tell him to get some sweet tarts, he’ll learn how to in the video in the link
It isn’t your choice whether your new friend smokes or not. It’s his choice. Either you are going to accept him as he is or you aren’t. There is nothing worse than having someone around you who doesn’t like you the way that you are and who keeps trying to change you to suit them.
If you have something to say about smoking that you believe that your new friend has never heard before, I guess you can bring it up in conversation. But don’t bother saying the same things over and over again. You will become an annoying nag.
If you are going to feel compelled to push your opinions onto your new friend, why don’t you just get a friend whom you can accept as he is?
Remember this:
TELLING HIM TO STOP SMOKING IS REMINDING HIM TO SMOKE.
His brain will weed out “stop” and focus on “smoking.” That’s how our brains work. Try going on a diet, then let someone say to you: “Don’t eat bacon.” Your brain isn’t gonna bother with the “don’t eat” part, it’s gonna focus on the “BACON!”
Smoking is niccotine addiction, which is JUST AS POWERFUL AS HEROINE. NO JOKE, NO EXAGGERATION. It’s not illegal, doesn’t get you high, but it’s addictive power is just as strong as with heroine.
ALWAYS, ALWAYS treat a smoker with the respect and dignity that you would offer any other human being. Smokers are real people, with good morals, who are loving parents, loyal employees, the best of friends. Many times, smokers are harshly judged, as if they’re immoral, sleazy, low-brow, no class, etc. WE ARE DIGNIFIED HUMAN BEINGS.
I say “we” because I have a niccotine addiction. I no longer smoke, but give me a pack of cigarettes and a week, and I’d be back in the saddle again.
As for smoking around you, if you’re outside, he has the right to smoke anywhere he wants to outside, even if he’s with you. Also, if he’s in his house or in his car, and you’re there, he has the right to smoke. When you have the right to ask him not to smoke is when he’s in your house or your car. Basically, when he’s on your territory.
I am going to share something with you. it’s dated January 30, 2007, from my 360 Blog.
*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***
Some of you may know that I’m a smoker. For those who don’t, now you know.
On Thursday (Thursday?), I dvr’d the Oprah show. The episode was “Breathe Easier: Stop Smoking.” The entire show was about helping people overcome nicotine addiction. Three of the guests were Dr’s Mehmet Oz and Mike Roizen of the “You:” book series, and Dr Daniel Seidman, a leading expert in nicotine addiction. It was really informative, sensitive and respectful. I sooo appreciated it, and showed it to my sister tonight. She also smokes.
I was fascinated by the show. People are so quick to judge smokers as immoral, sleazy, bad people, etc. But that didn’t happen on the show. Rather than being browbeaten and judged, smokers were being . The show didn’t obsess about the dangers of smoking, wasn’t preachy, didn’t go down the list of toxic chemicals in cigarettes, etc. We smokers already know this, we already know the serious health risks. We’re not stupid, we’re addicted. We don’t need a lecture, we need help.
Dr Oz said that nicotine addiction . Wow, I had no idea! That’s why people can smoke around their kids, even though they know better. They’re addicted: chemically, psychologically, socially. It was a realistic show – sometimes scary, but very encouraging and positive. The good doctors and Oprah informed people of the tools they can use to help with this addiction. Dr Oz said it’s not about working hard, it’s about working smart. Addicts should use methods to help, because going cold turkey almost always fails. (Trust me, I’ve tried cold turkey many times and failed every time.) Some of these methods are: medication, nicotine patch, nicotine inhalers, nicotine gum and lozenges. Dr Oz has a 4-step plan to help people help themselves. If anyone wants to see it, go to Oprah.com and you’ll find it.
Btw, the show called it “Breathe Free” instead of “stop smoking.” There is a piece of the brain (not the hypothalmus, I forgot the name of it), deep inside the reptilian portion, that reacts to the term “stop smoking” in exactly the opposite way we want. When we hear “stop smoking,” that portion of the brain ignores the “stop” and zeroes in on the “smoking.” Therefore, each time we hear “stop smoking,” we’re actually reminded to smoke! That’s why “Breathe Free” is a much healthier and effective term. Stopping a habit is hard, but if you think of it as finding a freedom, it doesn’t feel so stressful. Rather, it is inviting.
I completely related to what was being presented, and didn’t feel like a slug for smoking. Something was said that stuck with me. We have turned smoking into a moral issue rather than a medical issue. Wow, I couldn’t have said it better myself! I’m a fantastic person, who happens to smoke. My morals are beautiful, and I don’t appreciate anyone judging me for the smoking.
This episode inspired me to help myself. Sooo, today, Wednesday January 30 2008, I begin my fouth day of breathing freely. Yes, I’ve stopped smoking — and began chewing Nicorette instead. The gum doesn’t take away the urge as quickly as a cigarette does, but if I’m patient and accept delayed gratification, the gum actually helps a lot. The urge is much less. You see? It really is about working smart rather than working hard. This is the first time I’m attempting this by using good tools, rather than white-knuckling it by sheer willpower.
After replaying the episode tonight, now my sister wants to quit. I’m so happy about that! She has lupus, so smoking is the last thing she needs. Hell, I shouldn’t talk. I’m super morbidly obese, so I have no business smoking cigarettes.
This feels good, it really does.
You’re right that he knows the dangers. The only thing you can and should say is that as you dislike smoking you’d rather he didn’t do it around you. If he’s a good friend, he’ll respect that.
Btw, I’ve been breathing freely since. No cheating, not even once. Your friend has to want to breathe freely, and for God’s sake, never ever preach! Always encourage, giving him the health benefits of breathing free, ’cause he already knows the risks of smoking.
Give him positives, never nag by giving him negatives. He won’t wanna hang around you if you do that. But encouragement? YES! Positive words, positive energy? ABSOLUTELY!
Click on the link, it will lead you to the Oprah show’s page on Oprah’s and Dr Oz’s campaign to help people to Breathe Free! Perhaps you can email him this link?
i, having recently quit smoking, am bothered by smokers. but i(as a former smoker)know that when you’re a smoker, smoking is a way of life(actually it’s a part of life). you have to understand that smoking is very important to a smoker.
Wait, I tried posting a link, but it won’t work. Just go to the Oprah website and search “Breathe Free” and you’ll see plenty of links that can really help your friend.
Best to you both!
You have to realize that smoking is not something that is easy to give up. You have to be in a life/death situation to realize the importance of your health. And you really can’t understand the person’s addiction level unless you’ve actually been in their shoes.
My dad was always a heavy smoker, with bad health. He got really sick one day and had to go to the emergency room. They made him stay there for about a week to do a through check-up and we all thought he was diagnosed with some serious disease, such as cancer. He decided right then and there that he would quit smoking, and it turned out that he was fine, but after that scary experience, my dad never held a single cigarette again.
I feel that being a good friend, convincing your friend to give up smoking is a good thing, but don’t try to push it. Try it once or twice, and if it doesn’t work, then let it be. This is a self-motivation kind of thing, so no one can really help them, but their selves.
I am an ex-smoker, have been clean for almost 10 years now. I have NEVER lit one up, after I quit (but not after several “quitting” attempts).
The point in my life where I stopped was when my body forced itself to quit – I had blood coming out of my mouth when I exhumed my phlegm, I was having uncontrollable shaking when I didn’t have a cigarette in 10 minutes from the last stick, and I was sweating profusely finding another stick. I smoked 5 packs a DAY – this isn’t something I’m proud of, just wanted to let you know how much this vice had taken a hold of me before.
You are perfectly within your rights to let your friend know that smoking is a pet peeve of yours, and that you will have to physically move away from him when he decides to light up. Or, as is the case, smokers voluntarily move away from non smokers – on the whole, I find smokers actually respectful of spaces, and they will exert effort to find an allowed smoking area.
Especially since it is already hammered into the mass media and public consciousness, that smoking is bad for anyone’s health, this is an established medical fact.
And just like you, I also have an ironic situation. I count among my very good friends, 2 medical doctors, who cannot stop smoking as well. They have made overtures of wanting to stop, but they still haven’t. They obviously have all the data and knowledge from their medical journals, research and studies to know that smoking is bad – bar none.
Personally, I do not try to “convert” them, especially since we were “smoking buddies” way back then. It really isn’t my place to be all “moral” and act all haughty – believe me, no smoker wants to hear that kind of speech. I WILLED myself to quit – it has to come from an internal source. Any outside attempt will fail miserably because it will lack the most important component – the person’s will him or herself.
Let your friend know you don’t like it – once. And end there. Let him also know during this talk that if he would like to quit, you would very much like to be part of that process. But the initiative and drive – that is all up to him. Agree to disagree, but by all means, keep your friendship. The intangible benefits of one that is strong and secure are immeasurable.
When the chips are down, that’s when friendship is truly tested. Remember that.
This is a tough one. I’d say that it depends a lot on how close you are. I, for one, would not try to convince them to quit other than encouraging him if he decides that he wants to quit. Beyond that, telling him to stop is a little bit condescending. As you say, he’s an adult and is already informed of the dangers of smoking. You can ask him not to smoke in your home, or in your presence, if it bothers you. This is legitimate.
However, I wouldn’t try to convince him to quit. If you’re really very worried, say something… once. Try, “You’re my friend and I care about you. You’re a smart guy and you already know this, but I just hafta say that I wish you didn’t smoke. It’s really not healthy and I don’t want you to get sick. If and when you decide to quit, know that I’ll help you in any way that I can.” Then drop it.
It never hurts to express your feelings on the subject. Like “smoking’s not good for you dude, wish you’d quit” show your disapproval any time you want, just don’t become obnoxious about it. Don’t start crap like “if you don’t quit, I won’t be your friend” that goes too far..
Honestly, nothing’s gonna make a smoker quit til they’re ready. I myself am a smoker, and I do wanna quit someday and I know if I have children someday I definitely will, but it is very hard at this point imagining my life without a cigarette, and that saddens me greatly to be truthful.. I don’t want them to be such a big part of my life as they’ve become.
Anyway, my father and sister both quit so there is hope that anyone can do so, I’ve seen it myself. My dad’s been off them for 16 years and my sister a year now. Your friend just has to want to do it.
You certainly have the right in your own home, or to an event you are hosting to make it none smokeing, HOWEVER, telling people how much they stink isn’t going to to help. The real problem is that your “concern” is self motivated, and this friend will see right through that.
LET HIM/ME FIGURE IT OUT ON OUR OWN AND THE MEDIA WILL NOT MASS PROP/PERPETRATE PRIVATE WARS (IE DEA, FBI, ATF, ETC, ETC……………………………………?_)
Your friend is an adult, and while smoking is one of the most disgusting habits there is, you can’t keep adults from doing what they are going to do. Ive seen people start smoking and stop and RESTART so many times-it saddens me. it looks like quite a struggle, though I also have seen perfectly healthy non smokers um pass away from something unexpected. So you never know when it’s gonna be your time!:)
Freedom of choice comes to mind. Each and every one of us deserves the right to make our own choices. The consequences may not be pleasant but, as you stated, this friend is very aware of the dangers. Obviously, you disagree with his choice but are more likely to have an influence in his future decisions about smoking if you respect his right to ultimately choose as he will.
Get over it. Nothing you say is going to stop them. If anything, having this “talk” will have your friend heading for the door lighting one up. You people with your “second hand smoke is more dangerous, so people around you are more at risk than the smoker is” are idiots. The smoker is breathing the “second hand” smoke, too. And if you don’t like it, you move a few freaking feet away, instead of giving stupid advice about something you admit you have never been tempted to do yourself. The farthest you should go is don’t smoke in my car or house. That is all you have a right to.
Smoking is bad for health, has a delay effect, you may not feel it now but in time you will, That makes it good it’s like lending a money with only little interest at the end. It’s like a suicide but slow in progress.
What I’m really trying to say is if your against smoking, then start battling the corporation that make cigars, coz their KILLING our friends and families, it’s like an assisted suicide and it’s legally executed with papers. Aren’t they good?
One thing I noticed is that when calculating cause of death its counted regardless of how old the person is.
Fact-Everybody dies no matter what. If something was the number 1 cause of death but usually only killed you when you were in your 70s or older I wouldn’t care. I’ll wind up dying in some way at some point anyways.
I know smoking can kill you a lot younger but if they would actually show statistics for cause of death excluding it past a certain age that would put things in perspective a lot better.
get him/her to take champix. it helped me quit.
Suffice it to say, you are aware that this friend is well informed and chooses to smoke anyway. The choice you have is to determine whether this friendship is worth more to you than being right about smoking.
I don’t personally like people dictating what I should do. As adults, we get to choose for ourselves what we will and will not tolerate.
Is this friendship worth giving up over smoking? And for those who compare smoking to heroin, I’m sorry, but those who do hard core drugs and need to get a fix run out of money and guess what, they’re taking money and stuff out of your house to sell it for more smack. Cigarette smokers have not been documented (nor are they known) for selling the heirlooms for a pack of ciggies. Let’s get real.
I was a smoker for 20 years. I had no desire to quit. I loved it. My doctor put me on Nortriptyline for IBS, and in about a month, when I ran out of cigarettes, I just never bought any more. It’s one of the possible benefits of Nortriptyline. Even though I am not on it anymore, I’ve never wanted to smoke since. I’ve been smoke free 2 or 3 years now. Please tell your friend about this medication.
Honestly, if he knows all the bad stuff in the cigarette, then he can smoke at his own risk. You’ll just have to deal with the smoke unless you don’t want to be his friend anymore.
I would just leave well enough alone. I am a smoker, but don’t smoke consistently, usually only when I’m stressed out and nothing else helps. I have a friend who keeps complaining about my smoking, and just tell her that when I decide to quit, I will. I would not push the issue with your friend. If he’s as smart as you say he is, I’m sure he knows the truth and consequences of his actions. Just be a friend, not a nit picker.
PS: This friend of mine doesn’t see me smoke, but she knows because she claims she can smell it every time she comes over to my apartment.
I have spent 18 yrs. under the roof of second hand smoke. Because of this I have allergies, and my resistance was always low. I actually smoked for about a year, which was the dumbest thing I ever did. I have been smoke free well over 20 yrs., and I still have allergies, but my resistance is so much better. My mother looks like a woman in her 90′s and she is only in her 60′s. People have complimented my skin and overall health. I can’t even be in a situation where there is smoke as my throat literally closes up because now I am allergic to it. When I was pregnant, it was just as bad. I have an air purifier because my downstairs neighbors smoke. They are such nice people. I don’t condemn them for it, so I try to keep my living space as smoke free until I can get enough money to find a house. Even that little bit of smoke that comes through my front door from the common area sets off an allery attack. As far as your friend, if it bothers you, maybe they can make allowances and not smoke in front of you? If that person is a considerate smoker, they will respect you. If not, then they are not worth having as a friend.
leave the man smoking!!!
he lives his own life, can make decisions allone. you could just say – i’m terribly disappointed by your smoking but do not try to let him give up smoking.
we all are addicted to one substance and it can kill us. imagine every day milions people eat fast food, dring coca cola, drink alkohol, take drugs…
You can just tell him how you feel since he or she is supposed to be your freind, and or
act like you have torret’s syndrome and every now and again cough up someting like pnuemonia……………….
hypertention…………………………
premature death…………………….
yellow teeth…………………… vitamin C defitiancy……….. damage to every last single cell in the body…………leather face…………. enslaved……….
dehydrated…………….. ugly lung………….can’t finish nothing up without a cigerette………..hair loss…………
loss of taste…………….. loss of taste buds…………..loss of inhibitions……………. loss of money………………..loss of life……………….loss of time………………… loss of freindships…………….loss of eye sight……………….. loss of hearing…………………loss of general health……………skin irratations……………..loss of breath…………………. you stink………………..you hack in the morning…………………….I love you……………I’m gay……………………..yellow tooth the pirate……………gum disease…………………OH GOD I NEED A CIGERETTE………………I should be on a T.R.U.T.H. commercial…………………higher insurance………….damn my cigs got wet……………why am I soo cool when I smoke……….drug addict……………….”coufff” heart disease……………holes in my lungs………………..I smoke food……………..hey buddy ya gotta light…………..SOMONE STOLE MY SMOKES!!!!!!!!!!…………..Butt pirate……………..
Depending on where you live,,, if someone bums 3 smokes from you that’s $1…………….. that habit could make all the payments for a house loan…………
ashtray muncher…………..$5 dollars for a pack of these fu@$(ng things……..
I appologize for my sense of humor.. please don’t be to uptite.
if he isn’t forcing you to smoke
then you shouldn’t try to force him to stop
tell them 2 stop or they may get sick
Y
ou ever been around a crack attic?
talk about a life less lived solely in order to get their next fix
they’ll do any and everything short of admitting they have a problem
well if nicotine is more addictive than crack cocaine, as I’ve heard it is, you’d better bring more to the bargaining table than what “You” want because asking someone to stop breathing is no ordinary request
you’d better be willing to dig in & get filthy with regard to quitting
make a challenge of it
my own father has been smoking for the past 50 years and he’s 57.
He quit after going through the Schick Shadle program
then began again due to his zen meditation practice which includes sitting around and enjoying a smoke after long periods of meditation
I was having asthma attacks at age 3
he smoked outside
fortunately the attacks have been in remission since then.
my sister smoked her way through grad school, we’d both smoked second hand smoke our entire lives so she developed cravings for a smoke during her MA in stage theatre
not coincidentally thespians smoke cigarette’s while not on stage.
I believe the only thing that saved me from becoming a smoker was a.) I saw the effects on my dad: & b.) I played ice hockey during my teen years and had no use for the diminished lung capacity while skating.
hope my passage can be of some value to anyone out there who is faced with this vice that the tobacco corporations have intricately designed into society
for the purpose of their wealth & prosperity
I wonder if they’ve gotten any of the financial stimulous money?
hmmmm?
Well, first of all, what are you going to do about it? If he is an adult, you cannot stop him. Everyone is entitled to make his own choice and to bear the consequences of the choices that are made. So, what it comes down to is this: is the fact that he smokes such an issue between you that you are willing to break off the relationship? Personally, I would not marry anyone who smoked, and I would not allow anyone to smoke in my house or car, but beyond that, I could be friends with a smoker, all other things being equal.
I Quit smoking about a year ago.
Sounds like you have a problem with it.
So might I suggest you do something about your problem? Once you fix your problem with it then you will be able to others who have problems with smokers.
If some day you friend develops a problem with smoking then you might be better suited to help them if they want help.
“1,205 PPL DIE A DAY FROM SMOKING” First you need to decide if the person is a true friend or not…….becuz if they r…..then there should be no question if u should be trying to help or not. i am a smoker of 12 years and i am now smoke free for the past 2 months. it has been one of the hardest things in my life to do. i have been tryin and tryin to give them up for years now. if i had a good friend back in the day to talk me out of smoking…..it would have helped me in so many ways in life. DO NOT even read the comments that say to mind your own biz….becuz your friend who is killing himself is your biz. from where i stand….if u dont at least put in some kind of help….then u r just helping with his death to come more soon in his life. smoking is a nasty part of life…..and if this friend really opens his eyes he will get that u r helping for all the good reasons. 4000 known chemicals r in tobacco smoke, and more than 50 of them are known to cause cancer. According to the World Health Organization, every six seconds someone in the world dies from tobacco use. One out of every two regular smokers will die from smoking. like i said b4…..there should be no question if u should be helping your friend or not……
Definitely say something to him! You wouldn’t want to have your friend die before you, would you?!
In response to some other responses: Smoking does NOT calm you down — it actually does the opposite by increasing your heart rate. Smoking kills you sooner than you normally would, and nobody wants to die when they’re 40-something because they smoked since they were a teenager.
Mind your own business. As someone else mentioned above, you don’t go to fat people and tell them to lose weight. The whole stigma that surrounds smokers is what is disgusting.
I have quit over 30 times, during my 20 year smoke break. Listen, Everytime you start up, you die quicker, it affects you faster, it also works that way with heroin, coke, and meth. Its that cigarette you have when your new that fools you into thinking your in control, so have him stop now as a bet, give him 20 bucks to quit for a few weeks. I never learned i didnt need it, and its going to cost me in the future.
Nothing to say to dummies!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What are you jerks saying?! Don’t listen to the ones who say leave your friend! That’s a stupid reason for breaking off a friendship! If you can’t handle his smoking just ask him to smoke in a well-ventilated area or not smoke around you. I do suggest talking to him about it because you might possibly convince him to quit. I’m sure he’s already aware of the risks of smoking but people who smoke (like myself) have an extremely hard time quitting because it is so very addictive. If you want to be a true friend just talk to him about it, don’t stop being his friend. Doctors and non-smokers will tell you anything to discourage smoking but in reality only about 40% of what is said has been proven. Anyone can get lung cancer, even non-smokers who are never around smoke. Smoking is an addiction and your friend needs your help and suppost in order to quit, if he so chooses. If he decides not to quit even after talking to him, just respect his decision and try to deal with it. NEVER drop a friend for something so stupid as them being a smoker. The only thing that proves is that you’re shallow and think you’re better than everyone.
telling him the risks of smoking is a waste of your breath (no pun intended) because he already knows and chooses to smoke any way.
If your home or car is smoke free then you ask him to respect that and you may have to limit your time with him because of the smoke.
If this is someone you are dating or are interested in dating then you have to decide if smoking is a deal breaker for you or not.
you take the people in your life as they are, faults and all. If you disagree with how they choose to live their lives and you aren’t able to see past whatever it is that bothers you then you limit or end the friendship.
in the title isnt it FIRE not IRE?!
i was recently told that an injury to my left hip fall, that i had stage 4 lung cancer did not take me long to stop, you should not judge people who smoke they are not idiots they know the risks and hazzards of smoking, even at this time i would love to smoke but my life and family is just too important to me to pick it back up, my husband smokes and so do my kids, all i can do is pray that they will stop before its to late. bad habits are the hardest to break also if we all thought the same way life would be boring, we all have rights even to smoke or choose not too.
i would say something because its only going to benifit him, i smoke for only 4 years and i can tell that its starting to effect me so i quit. but u cant force him its impossible to quit unless you really want to so just inform him, let him know that the health risk out weight the benifits.
where there is smoke, there is not fire, but only sometimes.
Dont give up on your friend. Making a person quite never works. You need to let them come to the conclusion themselves. the best way to do that is to ensure they dont smoke around you, whether it is at home or at a restaurant. Dont breach. dont nag. Just make it inconvenient. after a while, they will stop. especially, if they have not been doing it long.
Smoking isn’t vital to life. In fact, it takes lives. It was that person’s conscious decision to take on the stupid habit of smoking.
If you have a friend that smokes, speak up. He/She is polluting unfiltered cigarette smoke in your breathing space. Not to mention the horrific smell that can linger around you.
In fact- yesterday, a person around me was careless with her filthy cigarette and BURNED ME by accident! I did nothing to deserve that!
If your friend was standing on a bridge threatening suicide you would do everything to convince them otherwise. you would support your friend through mental health counseling and whatever else it takes. You may become frustrated and exasperated if the person continues threatening suicide but you would never give up because you know they can get better.
Your friend is in the process of committing suicide. You are frustrated and maybe even exasperated but I don’t believe you are are going to give up.
Hospitals and other organizations have free group counseling for smokers and they work much the same as 12 step organization where the person can call someone when they get the craving.
I think it is nice that you do not want your friends to die of cancer……..however you cannot watch tv nowadays without seeing commercials that it is bad for you. If you do not like it then do not be friends with them but that is your decision. I’m sure there are things about you that they do not like but they do not comment. Friends are friends no matter what they do.
This is such a difficult issue. I smoked for 40 years and stopped 3 1/2 years ago when I was hositalized with pneumonia and told I have COPD and would never recover 100%. I am luckier than some. I did stop and have never been seriously tempted to smoke again, but I know others who are on oxygen and still smoke.
Any adult who starts to smoke in this day and age is exhibiting signs of some other issue. There is just too much known about the health implications.
I think you should say something because it will make YOU feel better knowing you tried. Don’t expect him to stop because you spoke up. Do it gently and lovingly and ask he refrain from smoking around you and then let it go. That is all you can do.
Best of luck to you both.
Its a persons own choice …im a smoker though so im bias…but i hate alot of things that people do but i would never ask them to stop doing it completly its their life not yours…the best you could hope for is to ask them not to do it around you and hope they will do that for you…otherwise mind your own bussiness im sure theres things people dont like about you
I no longer smoke, but if I did I sure would not condider you much of a friend if you condemned my behavior. Take me as I am or find a new friend.
If you consider yourself a friend, then yes it is your place to say something. Just be sure to limit your association and tell him why, because your health is more important to you than his is to him.
Of coarse you can say something, but don’t think so highly of yourself that just because you have a problem with it he aught to stop. Like you said he knows what he’s doing so if you have a problem, either suck it up or don’t hang out with him.
In your own rooms you can forbid all people to do it. If he smokes too much in his rooms then don’t visite him too much.
Remember to think before you speak. Did your friend lose their job, have a family member die recently? These reasons cause depression, which sometimes makes people feel like smoking makes them feel better. This isn’t making and excuse, but it’s still a reason. Obviously, your friend is hurting themself and you don’t like to see it. So talk to your friend, and just letting them know that you care and that you’re there for them might help. And also, maybe their doing some kind of project on how hard it is to quit smoking, and doesn’t want to tell anyone because they might judge them. You never know!
Pick up a sport to share with your friend, something to do with exertion i.e. basketball, running, tennis, etc… If he’s been smoking long enough, he should start panting long before you do which in turn may start him to thinking why? Visit a hospital, Oncology Ward(Cancer), Respiratory Therapy Dept., Senior Citizens Home where they pack their Oxygen tanks with them, you get the point. There are alot of new aids to help quit now available over the counter as well as Doctor Rx. Some people find that the act of just lighting one up and holding it and putting it to their lips becomes part of the addiction. Carrying cinnamon sticks and chewing on one helps with that. Chantrex is becoming a favorite Rx med that alot of people have and are using to stem the craving. You’re friend has a good friend in you, I myself am a smoker and I smother and run out of breath really fast now, I am having heart problems too, which are all effects of smoking and your friend can be guaranteed without doubt to develop one or all the Health Problems that are associated with his “Choice” of habit! Get him into good habits, lead by example! He’s lucky not to have friends like the ones who posted some of the comments to your dilemma telling you to mind your own, etc… Good Luck!
Man, I don’t believe some of the answers i’m seeing here ! The first answer talked about smoking being a risk and paralleling it to leaving ones house; what nonsense ! True, leaving ones house is a risk—and a necessity. Smoking on the other hand, is not a necessity and it certainly is more than a risk, it is akin to slow suicide; it’s a question of time before it gets you. We live in a day and age where we have learnt, unfortunately, to tolerate what God would not. We feel that we have an obligation to be non-judgemental and as such, we put up with sin. There is a difference between being judgemental and offering sound advice or rebuking someone for doing something that could lead them away from God ultimately. Telling someone that smoking will kill them eventually is not being judgmental; telling someone that smoking is wrong is not being judgmental because smoking is, as a matter of fact, wrong. I am yet to see the good that comes out of smoking and I have lived to see the good that comes out of keeping away from cigarettes in the first place, or giving it up in the second place. Tell you friend to give it up now while he can, lest he become a slave to it in the long run. Cigarettes are a master and smokers are slaves to cigarettes; this is easily evidenced by the fact that trying to give up smoking is a battle; the master called cigarettes doesn’t let go without a fight. We should yearn for true freedom in God, and in our LORD and saviour Jesus Christ, not for bondage to cigarettes and other (bad) masters. Amen.
you people ever wonder whats in the air you breath! You always want to come down on smokers with these stupid reasons why people shouldn’t smoke……..tell the power plants to stop emmiting lead filled smoke……….
As a smoker myself I would say to your friend, are you out of your mind??!!! Totally disregarding the health risks….have you seen what a pack of cigs costs these days? If you’re not hooked on $12/day habit, why start? Which makes me wonder…where would all the government funds come from if all smokers just quit, but then again the government knows that for many the habit is so strong they WILL NOT QUIT, nicotine is a strong drug. Like I said, why start?
Like the Guns and Dope Party says,
I’ll tolerate your hobbies if you’ll tolerate mine
I have no respect for those who fancy themselves entitled to dictate to me about things I do that aren’t hurting them (or anyone else).
if people smoke they would have cancer and they will weaste their health and money
u shuld just well, forget it
in my opinion i think you should say something before he starts smoking for like a long time because it is a real issue…trust me. my grandmas been smoking for about 50 or so years shes currently 75 and right now i have to watch her suffocate to death because of a stupid habit. my mom has been trying to get her to stop for years and now that shes sick its completely ripping my grandpa and the rest of our family to shreds. just say something and remind him of the consequences
You can stop being an annoying ***** and mind your own business. It’s because of intrusive people like you with too much time on your hands that American’s gun rights are being violated and smoking has been banned in restaurants but you wouldn’t dare try to boycott obese people from restaurants because that would be politically incorrect.
get over yourself lady.
if you don’t like smoke than don’t sit near them and keep your busy-body mouth shut.
I’m on the “mind your own business” side of the argument here. S/he is an adult, it wont change anything, and friends don’t judge.
I smoked for 35 yrs.I hated them the last 2o yrs. When my kids came along,i felt so Guilty.I started having Sinus infections,i was sick,you wouldn,t believe.I got sick all the time lived on Antibotics.Finally i prayed to God to make me so sick,i couldn,t smoke.He Did.I,m smoke free 10 yrs. now. I had Heartattack too.Doc said i would have died,if i hadn,t quit.I also at the same time had to have stint put in my Kidney,& stint in my heart. He really knows how to get you to quit. I owe it to God.Thank you God, for taking those stinking cigs away.I don,t allow smoking in my home,caror in my yard.Have 2 kids who smoke,but they respect my rules.Please quit, Girls don,t like kissing a ashetray!
I agree,smoking is pretty nasty.I myself have never been a smoker either and quite frankly I feel sickened by the stinky smell of the smoke.Sometimes it even makes it hard for me to breath and my nose gets all stuffy.I ask my friends not to smoke in my house and they all respect that.I feel that as a true friend it doesn
t hurt to inform your friend how you feel,but don’t be rude about it.Let them know you care and just want the best for them.I think most friends will appreciate the concern.I come from a family of smokers.I watched my dad quite smoking on more than one occassion,but once again he loves his Marlboros.
Just wanted to note that Robin Finster’s comment was actually quite beautiful.
Just tell him you think he shouldn’t smoke, but if he is, don’t smoke when his with you–or anyone else for that matter. If he wants to hurt his health, fine. But second-hand smoke can be just as bad. If he needs to “light up” do it outside.
Definitley tell him smoking bothers you, don’t lecture him, but bring it up everyone and a while.
It definitley IS your business what he’s doind with his body if he is your good friend and you care for his health.
If you just stand-by idle and watch him give himself cancer you might as well be lighting those things for him!
NOOOOO, don’t smoke
yea i would have to say get over it.
a lot of these posters have no clue what they are even talking about. Leave YOUR god out of it first of all, secondly PLEASE, your just as likely to be killed in your car on the way to work as you are smoking, Americans are retards, they beleive everything they hear. Hell, look who are president is- that should tell you how lame ‘we the people; are.
Speaking from experience I think you should keep your opinion to yourself. I’m a smoker and there is nothing that irritates me more than people telling me how bad smoking is for me and how I should quit.
I’m so sick of the anti smokers that think its ok to bully and belittle people. We ALL KNOW the dangers. Leave him be and shut your mouth. You’re not his mother, nor are you his physician. Saying something about it just proves one thing…that you’re a know it all busybody who doesn’t have anything better to do.
I’m so sick of people that think they know better than everyone else and feel entitled to tell them so. Mind your OWN BUSINESS.
I’m of two minds about this;
A) If it bothers you mention it
B) mind your own business…
Here’s the rub. Smokers are NOT outcast there are still millions upon millions of them. They are killing themselves but so are you every time you chow down that whopper! How would you feel if everytime you went to BK he jumped your shit? I find it funny that the most anti smoking crowd are 90% fat asses…
Ok here the other thing smoking is bad for you but so is the air most places just LIVING in mexico city is like smoking 2 packs a day. Los angeles isn’t much better… What with global warming, rising polution levels, food shortages, fuel shortages, etc in another 50-60 years this planet might not be such a great place to live anyway! Might as well have as much fun as you can now!
Nonjudgmental = Gutless
Please, grow a spine and tell this person the truth. Smoking is a disgusting habit, it bothers you and jeopardizes your friendship.
somking is bad… well i smoke… chain smoking… ur friend wont stop unless he dont see anything wo make him stop. those ages have gone when someone listened to someone and stopped… now in this age… let him do what he want and u do what u want.
Oh my God! He’s just starting? By all means, do all that you can to save him. You know him, so you gotta research about how to persuade him to quit before it’s too late. Trick him, scare him, do covert hypnosis if you know how. You know why you should do all these? Because once he gets hooked, he becomes one more stupid human among millions of stupid people.
My brother is a smoker. He admits that smokers are the stupidest people there is. They know they’re feeding themselves toxins daily, killing themselves slowly. Every now and then he tries to quit. All attempts so far has failed. He once got free for 6 whole months, but after giving in to 1 smoke while drinking with friends, he was back.
Smoking really does not carry the glamor that it used to. Aside from that, it just plain sucks. It’s nasty, disgusting, and ultimately DANGEROUS!
Take it from me…an EX-SMOKER! I tried quitting cold turkey several times. The very last time, after the new year of 2009, I cried when after a day and a half, I broke down and started smoking again.
I cried because I felt I was doomed and that I had NO power over my addiction. A few weeks later I discovered electronic cigarettes. I got mine at FinalCig.com
Say what you will about them, but they really helped me quit. Just knowing that I had an e-cig in my possession empowered me to fight the cravings I was having with a new strength.
For the first month, I used both tobacco and electronic cigarettes. Then I switched over only to the electronic smoking. Eventually my nicotine addiction faded away. Some people are able to quit cold turkey. I simply wasn’t one of them. I don’t encourage anyone to smoke. I don’t know why in this day and age people still choose to “start” smoking. But if you’re addicted to nicotine, then at least smoke an electronic cig. You’ll still get nicotine, but you won’t actually be smoking or lighting anything. And the air and your lungs will stay clean of tar and all those other chemicals that regular tobacco cigs add.
Anyway, I’d try to push that idea on to your friend. At the every least it will help them avoid the lung cancer and emphysema.
my view is that you are a bit confused …about your friend and …friendship ??
why do you want to influence your friend …if you feel friendship cann’t exist …the way you see …i bet you should let your friend and friendship go?? …i bet your friend is a grownup and mature adult …??
if you feel that in some way or anyway …your friend using you are defaming you …what is left in store from such a friendship??
don’t nourish it ??
I tried my very first drag off a camel light when I was oh probly 1st maybe 2nd grade, It was a thrill!!
all 5 of my senses were excited!
It was about 6th grade I was sneakin them from my folks, me n my gals would take turns one would have to bring matches, ciggs, lip gloss, candy, lighters, tunes, ect… we had a fort in the woods.
smoking became ceremonial and a form of spiritually connecting w/ my bitches!
I have been smoking for so long! I love the smell the look the taste, the feel, and beleive it or not, sound of the lighter and setting it down on my pack is verry signiture sounding to me n I am lighting a smooth flavored winston ultra light right now! mmmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhsssnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiifffffffffsnifffffffffmmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh now I think I’ll have a nice sip of good whisky! oooooooooohhhhhhhhhh watch out!!
everybody run fer yer tit cancer!
Of all drug addictions including acholice, cocaine Morphine, opium, methadrine TIC you name it, the most difficult drug to quit is nicotine.
To give up smoking a person really needs to WANT to give it up and unless your friend can be motivated in that direction, you are blowing against the wind.
Best is to be tolorant about it and ask him not to smoke in your private places.
He can always smoke outside and you can go with him to keep him company.
Some really good reading material on all the illnesses he can get and the trouble he can cause for others having to breath in his 2nd hand smoke – Angina is one of them – might get him thinking along the right lines.
I smoked 1-1/2 packs a day for 46yrs. I have R/A & smoking made it worse. My doctor put me on Zyban. I was supposed to take it twice a day for a month & continue smoking while taking it. I started on a Sunday & smoked 1-1/2 packs that day. Each day I smoked less & by the 8th day I stopped completely. That was 8yrs ago & I haven’t had even a desire to light up.
Here’s a website to sift through …with your friend if possible:
http://www.lungusa.org/site/c.dvLUK9O0E/b.22931/
I hope that helps. Good Luck!
“The Principles of Advanced First Aid” by J. M. D.
The Principles of Advance First Aid aim to prevent injury before it happens, to provide help when injury does occur, to find professional care for all serious threats, and to educate about the importance of abstinence before marriage and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases. EMS is the Emergency Medical System, a system of professionally trained medical providers, including lifeguards, police, firemen, paramedics, nurses, and doctors, also known as EMTs, Emergency Medical Technicians. Witnesses and Citizen Responders who see an emergency notify the authorities without doing anything to make the situation worse. Knowing emergency numbers and who to call is essential. This is why North America established the 911 emergency hotline, which provides emergency response and emergency care for urgent crisis. Calling 911 puts the caller in touch with an emergency response operator who will ask questions about the crisis in order to contact the proper agencies, fire department, police, rescue, and paramedic units.
Fire safety and fire prevention are important topics. Industrial accidents can be prevented by understanding the principles of fire safety and fire prevention. Only licensed and trained professionals are authorized to handle HAZMAT, ‘hazardous material’. Proper equipment is needed. Every office and home should be equipped with smoke detectors, fire alarms, and fire extinguishers. A good garden hose is a good start, but ABC fire extinguishers offer protection for professional offices and industrial platforms. Fire is not a toy. Never allow sparks from a fire to blow into a yard or forest. Always use covered hearths to cook outdoors and always douse the fire with water or a chemical powder afterwards. Stay away from outlets and plugs where electrical appliances are plugged into. Electricity is intense energy and can start a fire if mishandled. Also electricity is dangerous and can shock a careless person to death. Check voltage meters regularly and never handle electrical equipment without a proper insulator such as thick rubber. Never touch exposed electrical wires. An electric charge often remains inside wires after a piece of equipment has been turned off, so never assume that there is no charge remaining. Grounding is a precaution that directs unsafe electrical current away from a device and people to a neutral outlet such as the ground. Charges must be grounded by a grounding wire or pole connecting the source to the ground (‘grounding’). Fuses also help to protect unsafe electrical charges from spreading by limiting the voltage that is allowed through a circuit. If a fuse breaks then the flow of electricity is temporarily stopped until the equipment is turned off and a new fuse is installed. Do not service electrical equipment while such equipment remains on. Take such equipment to a licensed dealer for maintenance or repairs. Superficial burns, partial thickness burns, and full thickness burns need the appropriate care. Such wounds should be cooled with water and then dressed with a clean cloth. Proper medical attention should be immediately sought for any life threatening burn such as a full thickness burn. It is important to always have an exit plan in case of a fire. Keep the area clear of obstacles in order to prevent problems when leaving.
Citizen responders survey a scene in order to gather as much information as possible. During this survey they will notice any obstacles, dangers, and victims. Dangers that must be avoided include broken power lines, gas leaks, chemical spills, and fire. Obstacles may include debris, broken glass, scattered tools, and leaks of various kinds. Citizen Responders do not interfere but can call and contact professionals in order to provide the necessary care. Professional caregivers will want to know as much about the accident or problem as possible before they arrive, so any Citizen Responder must be prepared to describe the scene, location, addresses, and phone numbers that will help them in any way. Citizen responders must avoid injury to themselves and must avoid complicating any crisis. Care Givers must always avoid inflicting harm. This includes not inflicting trauma to the spinal cord of any trauma victim by moving them prematurely without the proper stabilization equipment. Shock from an injury can often be treated by warming the victim with a clean blanket. Ice can reduce the swelling from many burns. Ice can also numb the sting from a scrape. Water cleans wounds so that fresh bandages can be applied. Bandages must never choke a victim or cause fractures to nearby bones. Bandages control and stop bleeding, protecting a wound from germs and preventing loss of blood. Never abuse prescriptions. Prescription medication may have side effects that should be fully explained by a doctor. Some patients are allergic to certain medications and therefore are not allowed to have certain brands or certain kinds of medication. Prescription medication can react harmfully if mixed improperly. Patients should avoid substance abuse. Patients should never overdose on any kind of controlled substance such as alcohol or medication. Professional treatment is necessary to diagnose and treat any serious ailment.
Other dangers that must be avoided are pests and substance abuse. Pests such as stray animals can carry rabies, a fatal disease to humans. People therefore need proper vaccinations to protect against rabies and other known viruses. Vaccinations are an important step to preserving good health. Snake bites can be poisonous, even deadly. Snakes with red, yellow, or orange markings are venomous and therefore dangerous. Snakes with angled or slit like irises are also poisonous. Larger snakes that grow to very long sizes are dangerous because of their large size. Antidotes exist that can treat some snake bite cases. Usually the poison must be pumped or suctioned out of the wound itself while the antidote is administered. People should avoid provoking animal attacks of all kinds. Often hikers and boaters carry protection such as mace, a club, and a gun. Smart folks also carry portable or cellular phones, just in case. Those who do should avoid distracted driving, using the phone only for emergency. Distracted driving is a crime. Motorists should always wear safety belts. Drivers should pull over to the side of the road if they need to make a call, or they can hand the phone to a passenger who is free and can make the call without disturbing other cars or pedestrians on the road. Safety is always important and should be observed in order to prevent accidents and injuries.
Ya me too think it all depends on personal choice. You have to be mature enough to take decision which are right for you. Also if you don’t smoke and he smokes around you then try to away from him to keep yourself away from the passive smoking.