Ask Mike: Weddings on the cheap
Hey Guys,
Depending on where you live, summer is either already here or just around the corner. Along with a lot of films in which explosions play a pivotal role, warm weather also means an uptick in the number of weddings. But things are different with the recession–people still want to get married, but they don’t want to pay a ridiculous sum of money to do it. That’s where Yahoo! Answers comes in.
While cruising around the site, I came across a question on how to lower the cost of weddings with “do it yourself” projects. The question clearly struck a chord with the Yahoo! Answers community–over a dozen responses were quickly posted. Some folks suggest fake flowers. Others wrote that asking a friend to take photos can save a bundle. One of the most interesting responses came from HIS!. The top contributor came up with a thorough list of suggestions for saving money. One of my favorite examples: make your own tablecloths. I’ve never been married so I can’t attest to this, but apparently some places will charge less if you bring your own linens. Who knew?
Meanwhile, other responders suggested the bride make her own veil. There are instructions all over the Internet and materials can be purchased on the cheap. Another contributor chimed in with a list of tasks best left to the pros. According to “Mrs. Essmyer 2 be,” you don’t want to mess with large flower arrangements, bouquets, the wedding dress, the cake, catering, and photography. Of course, that’s just an opinion. I say if you have a trustworthy friend who is a rockin’ shutterbug, why not give him or her a shot?
Of course, Yahoo! Answers isn’t the only source for do-it-yourself weddings. I found a few stellar sites including this one from the Do It Yourself Network. Don’t hire a wedding planner until you give it a once over. It may save some cash.
Got any of your own tips on how to save money on a wedding? Do some cost-cutting tips go too far? Leave a comment below and let me know.
Thanks for reading,
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preloved wedding dresses come to mind
Having your “rocking” shutterbug friend do the photography is a great way to end up with terrible photos and one less friend. Wedding photography is a skill that requires years of experience, a lot of specialized knowledge and hard work. Every day (often more than once a day) someone asks: I’m doing my first wedding…Pointers please!” or words to that effect. Those of us with experience always try to dissuade the person from doing it. It never ends well. In the end the happy couple have a piece of stale cake, memories and the photos. Don’t scrimp here.
1)When I saw an episode of Oprah who provided a soldier to have a webcam view of the birth of his child, I thought “Why not for weddings?” (for relatives who can’t make it like my Grandma and cousins overseas). There might be someplace at your relatives’ end where they will commune to witness the nuptuals, or individually depending on who owns a computer. I wish the technology was around when i was a small girl so I could have seen my grandparents more between their summer visits.
2)If there are relatives in the profession of wedding planning who would do it for free, go that route. Cousin had her then-future sister-in-law plan her wedding and the woman was naturally @ the wedding. Same goes for people marrying the happy couple. If you know someone who’s licensed to marry you (like a judge), go that route!:-) With me, i have a carpenter and a barber in the family so my parents have saved $$ by having those relatives take care of those needs for us
you’ve never been married.
should you really post that up?
I made almost everything for my wedding, did all the flowers used real and fake no one knew because i spent extra on quality fakies.
I made my own linens also, i own a ranch so we held the reception there and most of it was outside. I found a great deal on white sheets, they were 2.29 each, most of the tables were round so i cut the sheets to fit a sewed a hem. I then bought broad cloth 1.87 a yard and made a top layer (for lack of a better term) in a dark blue, cut those basically a square and hemmed them up nice. I bought a lot of material in bulk tulle coming out my ears and we have a few gazebos one large enough for the DJ and dance floor…Wrapped the sides in tulle and the night before i cut a large quantity of live ivy, wrapped those in and the flowers there were fake but no one knew. There were white light string underneath to give a light glow. The Ivy held up really nice even in hot Sept here, i didn’t have to mist it.
Around most ranches you have old items, water buckets whatever…I went to good ole Home Depot and purchased live flowers and fillers and used those everywhere, also sticking with the theme or lack there of i also bought, i will call them pails and planted plants in them to use as centerpieces and people took them home, some of the things we planted are still in the pots i used today and this was 2003.
I bough the cake but i just had them frost it, i pre did the middle arrangement with flowers and cascaded flowers throughout the cake…i did really good for my first time doing this…This saved money big time, i bought enough cake for 300 people and there was none left, i had a friend who works at a grocery store bake and frost the cake, if your talented enough or know someone who is this will save you money.
I also did the bouquets for myself and 7 matrons of honor, boutonnieres too. Never did those before either and i found it rather easy.
Only thing i didnt do was half the food, dress and tuxes, Dj, Photgrapher and of coarse marry us, i may be a minsiter but i dont think thats legal.
I could go on…If you or you know someone who is crafty they can help you save money. I thankfully being born with the only crafty gene in my family save a ton of money. Too bad mom didn’t create another because i thought i would lose my mind before the day came…I had no help.
There are many ways to save money, it just takes a little thinking, a little know how, and a lot of work.
Hi again Mike..
Let me tell you about the old barter system..
When I got married in 1986, my Mom had a friend that did wedding cakes and her husband needed some drywall work done in he office…My X husband was a drywaller…
He had a good friend that was a photographer…His wedding gift to us was the photos…GORGIOUS photos…Bless his heart…
We had sortof a potluck deal…We didn’t even send out any formal invitations…Me and my Mom just made a few dozen phone calls…
My dress was purchased at a prom clearance sale…Off the rack, tea length, all lace…With a satin underdress….I think I paid $75 for it…I had to have matching shoes made ofcorse…Too small, darned those things hurt…lol
Anyways, the barter system DOES still exist…Back in 1986, my beautiful wedding cost only about $275….It was very beautiful….I’ve since loned that dress out to a neighbors daughter for prom and not gotten it back…Oh well…Not like I was gonna ware it again anyways…
That’s my story on how I had a beautiful wedding on very little dollars…The biggest expense was on the gorgious yellow roses…That’s my two cents…See ya Mike..
I got married a few yrs. ago and due to a layoff we were married on the “cheap”. We had a very nice affair nothing lavish. It was FUN and in our price range. To cut costs-
Immediately, we nixed a bridal party/groomsmen to save friends/family the cost.. I hate those ugly dresses anyway!
We had our wedding cake made by a professional but, instead of making it out of the store shop she made it at an equally impressive kitchen at home. A $600.00 cake became $360 including delivery to the site and set-up! Which was closer to her house anyway!
For flowers: A family friends mother does flowers from her home… We brought our own containers we, got married in Las Vegas so naturally we brought home casino coin cups! We used inexpensive but, colorful flowers we had 20+ arrangements + grooms flowers/bouquet and it cost w/ delivery under $100! We also took the Vegas theme and made placecards with playing cards using “labels” to handwrite the guests names… We used playing cards on the tables along with poker chips/dice all pretty inexpensive. I think we spent about $100 on decorations.. PLUS, since we brought the containers there was no rental fee and the guests took everything home.. Less clean-up!
My SIL as a “gift” made our cake topper.. We’ve known each other since junior high and we all THREE worked together at Mc Donalds so she made us a hilarious McD’s cake topper!
My wedding dress was purchased from a bridal resale shop. Originally the dress with TRAIN was $1000 w/ train and alterations it was about $400.00
Our favors were GOLD chocolate coins- wrapped in white toile/ribbon… I used coupons to buy the specialty chocolate- so I spent $100 on the favors for over $100 guests…
We went to a local Hungarian church for our reception- homemade Hungarian food… We paid $25 a head for 3 entrees (paprikash, breaded pork chops and stuffed cabbage) 2 sides and rolls, coffee/tea… We took any leftovers HOME- and people were allowed to eat as much as they wanted…. Buffet style.. This place had awesome food a great hall room and was 50% cheaper than a catered wedding hall!
My husband worked at a bar so we bought liquer at cost. AND were able to return anything unopened. Beer we bought at the wholesale club since our hall didn’t allow kegs… PLUS we used mail-in-rebates and got back $100 AND returned anything unopened…. Wine we bought at a local winery near our home and spent about $100 on large bottles of good wine…
Our wedding was in Las Vegas and we had about 30 ppl attend those that couldn’t attend we had it shown via internet through the chapel. Our wedding including flowers, transportation, pictures, internet viewing and ceremony was about $500.. The chapel was small but, very nice not cheesy….
As for having someone that you know do the photography… I strongly disagree.. I used to work at a photo lab and I’ve seen many pictures ruined by the inexperienced photographer… Only if you know that this person is good with his/her camera would I take that chance! Maybe have someone take candids for additional images…!
I’ve been to weddings where someone took beatuiful digital images and had them shown on TV at the reception.. That’s kinda neat..
Our Dj had done my SIL’s wedding a few months earlier.. So, he gave us 50% off- also go through other DJ’s you’ve seen and enjoyed and tell them so and so sent you and maybe you can get a deal… Or if you know another couple getting married go with them and see the prices…
**One other thing…. If the place you have your reception charges a “corking fee” for wine or liquer.. That is a FEE charged for OPEN items.. Pay very, very close attention to this.. ONLY have him/her open when something is EMPTY or you can be his for $2-$3+ dollars per bottle of opened liquer! My friend got socked with an additional $200 corking free for opened bottles of liquer that weren’t empty! Ditto for cake cutting fee’s ASK at the hall if this is included…. Sometimes “cake cutting” is a set fee or per piece!
good luck and I hope this long list helps….
I’m sorry, but weddings on a budget are nothing new and have nothing to do with the recession. There are those of us who have always understood the value of a dollar and chose not to throw money away on trivial wedding items, recession or not.
I agree, Amanda. The recession has nothing to do with our frugal (but stylish) wedding. People assume that DIY or cheap = ugly…but we are going to have an amazing wedding on a very small budget. In fact, the “average” wedding costs about $25,000 these days. We are spending less than $3000 on a wedding for 150 guests.
Some suggestions:
1. Rent or borrow a dress. The internet is a HUGE place. Scout those wedding boards to find a bride who just recently got married and see if any of them are open to sharing a dress with you (now that they are done with it). This is what I did — and I ended up spending $125 on a $1000 custom dress.
2. Trade, trade, trade. I am trading for the wedding photography and all of the rental supplies.
3. Look for non-traditional locations. We are getting married in an enormous barn, built during the Civil War. The cost was $875 for the whole weekend — Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Furthermore, find a place that doesn’t force you to use their caterer, their linens, etc. That allows you to shop more effectively for those things.
4. Skip the traditional wedding favors and make your own. There are a million fantastic ideas for wedding favors that cost less than a dollar each and have more panache than a bag of Jordan almonds or God forbid, matches. Just start brainstorming with friends and do your research.
5. Get married at Christmas time. If you want a church wedding, the church will already be decorated.
6. DIY the flowers. You can order flowers in bulk from Costco and Sam’s club. Find a tutorial on YouTube for making simple bouquets and you’ll save yourself a ton. Ditto for the centerpieces.
7. Breakfast for dinner. Do you have a friend who loves to cook? If your venue will let you bring in your own food, consider setting up a waffle bar and a variety of sides, hot and cold. Breakfast is the cheapest meal of the day…and a box of Bisquick from GFC is about $5 and feeds 40 people.
8. Cut your guest list down. A small, elegant wedding may be your thing. Or a small, tacky wedding (do a google search on Waffle House wedding). lol! Who cares? It’s your wedding!
9. Get free postcards from VistaPrint for your invitations and/or Save the Date cards. Better yet, design a beautiful email invitation and start a new trend. Who cares what people say? You’re saving the earth.
10. Have the guys wear suits — skip the tuxedos. Same with the bridesmaids. Let them pick out a dress they like in the wedding colors. They’ll thank you…and you’ll save them money too.
Most importantly, just THINK about what you are doing and how you can do it more cheaply. Websites like offbeatbride.com and indiebride.com are chock full of DIY brides and grooms. The major wedding sites are chock full of people wasting tons of money on unnecessary expenses — avoid those. And good luck!
And one more thing, don’t skimp on the wedding photography. Just because we are bartering with our photographer doesn’t mean we went with a cheap photographer. We found the photographer we wanted — and worked out an arrangement with him. As far as I am concerned, it’s the most important expense of the day. I would not trust my wedding photos to just anyone. A digital camera does NOT a photographer make!
My wife and I were married in the summer of 2005, back before the economy tanked and before low-budget weddings became popular. We probably spent a total of $1500 on our wedding. We did all of the planning and arrangements ourselves, had a friend do the photography, my wonderful sister-in-law handled the bride’s dress and the floral arrangements. I rented a tux from a local formal wear rental place for around $100. The biggest single expense was the after-wedding reception where we had to come up with $600 for a decent reception dinner – nothing fancy, but nice. That accounted for a good part of the $1500. We never believed in spending thousands upon thousands of dollars on a one-day event. It was a small intimate wedding with family and close friends – no more than about 25 people total not counting the pastor (it was a church wedding – Catholic) We also didn’t want to go into bankrupting our families to expect them to pay for something like a big expensive wedding. The “wedding industry” tries to spin things to make it look like you must spend mega $$$$ to get properly married – I say rubbish. What we may do is after we have been married for ten or fifteen years successfully throw a big bash and pull out all the stops for it – hopefully by then budgets won’t be as tight, and we will have our successful life together to celebrate
I was married in 2003, a few weeks after hurricane Isabel hit my home area, HARD! The church basement, where my reception was to be held was flooded, there was almost no electricity, among many other things. My family was on a budget, so I tried to do the best I could. I had no help from my in laws, who kept suggesting things that we couldn’t afford. Wish then I had spoken up and said ‘If you want it bad enough, you’ll have to pay for it.” But I didn’t. Anyways…so a week before the wedding, I didn’t have anything for the reception except for a cake. One of the ladies at my church knew I was getting worried and paniced because I didn’t have my flowers done due to that hurricane. She offered to do my flowers AND the reception! God bless that woman, she made my day! I had my Aunt take the pictures, only one wasn’t as good as I had hoped for, but the rest were great. We also had cameras for everyone to take pictures at the reception for us. Another lady from my church taped the wedding, it turned out really nice, she even came before the wedding and got footage of me getting ready! So I agree, if you have people willing to help out, use it! I got married free because I helped around the church a lot, and didn’t have to pay the reservation fee to the building. It was so beautiful. I’ve told my hubby when we have a kid, if its a girl, we should name her Isabel after the hurricane that almost ruined my wedding!
Oh and something for the military (as I married Air Force)… IF your man is willing to wear their Blue’s to the wedding, let them..or the Army Class A’s… They are formal and nice, but if you’re for jamming cake down their throat, I hope they have the common sense to take off the jacket! But military should also ask around and see if they can get some discounts, it doesn’t hurt to ask. Some places offer discounts to active AND retired, as along as you have proof, ie a VA card for retired people or the Active Duty card. I’m from a hometown that offers a lot for the military, because its by a big Army base! Good luck brides and remember to keep a sense of humor!
Hey Mike,
“Depending on where you live, summer is either already here or just around the corner.”
You forgot Australia, mate! And, well, New Zealand, South Africa, Argentina and all the other countries far south of the equator, where people presumably walk upside-down (*wink*). Winter’s just around the corner over there…
When I got married (fhe last time), I paid $800 for a very beautiful wedding which was held in an historical mansion in Tennessee. This was a plan that included the food, access to the rooms, sparkling cider, all the tables and chairs you needed and the wonderful ambience of the house with large celing to floor mirrors, etc. The guests were given balloons to let rise in the air as we departed. A friend of mine had his own piano and could sing. Each guests’ table had three cameras on it and one lady was the videographer. I spent less than $1000 for the whole event – dresses included. (they were rented). The money should be spent either for the honeymoon, or your new house.